Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay, Christine Moore?” A man with a clipboard and a white coat called into a room filled with other people who looked to be about Christine's age. He had thick rimed glasses, and a neutral expression. He was stiff, and his harsh voice startled the young woman, the one whose name was just called.

“ That’s me-” She started to say before being interrupted and led into the big glass doors that sat hauntingly in front of the waiting room. The man led her into another room, which had a medical bed, and some machines that had tubes and machinery that only a professional would know how to use. She sat down on the bed, and brought her sleeves down to cover her hands, nervously picking at the cotton at the end of her sweater.

“ Okay, Christine. You’re here for our anxiety regulation tests, is that correct?” The man asks, still not looking up at her face.

“ Yes, my parents told me this would help with my…issues?” She mentioned them in passing like her anxiety wasn’t a constant nuisance in her life. Not only did it affect her work life, but she also found that she was jumpy in many situations. So much so that her father had decided to sign her up for sleep studies, medical exams and anything that may help rid her of things that bothered her.

“ That’s our plan, your parents already signed the paperwork so we can get started now.” He said, placing the clipboard down and walking over to the machine. Christine thought briefly about the paperwork, confused on why she wasn’t given anything to sign, she was an adult after all. She was interrupted by a new device she hadn’t noticed before, an old and quite shitty looking headset. The man held it as if it was precious, carefully presenting it in front of her.

“ You can lay down here, I’m going to put this around your eyes.”

“ I’m sorry, I wasn’t told about anything like this.” She replied, her eyes narrowing to look closer at the headset. She had been attached to tubes before, and had many weird medical tests that made her hate hospitals all together, but this was the first time a medical professional had ever said he needed to put something over her eyes, let alone a headset.

“ Your parents might not have told you much, we specialize in a –special– kind of testing that uses calming programs on headsets to test your heart rate and nervous system.” he went on, clearly annoyed with her hesitancy.
“ We can easily give your spot to someone else if you feel uncomfortable.” He said blankly.

“ That’s not necessary!” She replied.

Her parents had told her about how many people were trying to get into these exams, and she couldn't risk a breakthrough. She laid her head down on the rough paper on the bed, feeling the man adjust the strap of the headset. She heard some incoherent mumbling and a loud ringing, piercing and bright.

She felt as if she had been flash banged and brought her hands up to pull the thing off by instinct. She felt pressure on her wrists, and a needle on her arm.

Then, all her senses at once began to vanish, her mouth growing dry and her body feeling like she had been inflated with cement.

She felt nothing, her mind was the only thing that was running, and overstimulation that she had never before felt. Although her body seemed to be completely useless, her head pounded, leaving her body to gnaw on the emptiness and the white light.

shining brighter

and brighter

and brighter

until an anthem that resembled a mad melody filled with the light

was that...

music?

Chapter Text

“Hey, you have that look again,” Jax says, tapping her face with the back of his hand. Despite Jax’s current mood going from annoying to depressed, he still seemed to bother Pomni whenever she was dissociating. It helped her out a lot, but she’d never admit that to his face.

“Shoot, yeah, sorry,” she said, shaking her head quickly and looking around. She had completely forgotten where they were or what the hell they were doing there. Her memory came flooding back. Right, they had just finished an adventure: THAT adventure, the one that made Zooble force a ‘team meeting’ in their bedroom after Caine had disappeared. Jax was still standing behind her, stalky and closed off. None of them knew what to think. Had he really cost them the adventure? Or was he right all along, and no one wanted to admit it? Pomni didn’t know the answer herself, but she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Clearly he was going through a lot.

“So? What the F%*& are we going to do?” Zooble enunciated the swear word, knowing it would censor but making it clear thats what they were saying.

“I am so sick of these games!” They said in anger, hitting something off their nightstand, and censored words filled the room. Gangle's comedy mask had been far from fixed and was sitting in the corner with porcelain tears running down the mask's white complexion. “I don’t think there's much we can do,” she voiced quietly, like she was trying not to break anyone else.

The whole group sat there in the uncomfortable silence. Everything was so confusing, so hard to believe. It took Pomni enough time trying to cope with the fact that she was now fated to be a jester for the rest of her life.

Time. Something she never thought she’d miss. Obviously, the circus had a day and a night, guarded by a very horny moon and a very aggressive sun. Still, some ‘days’ felt longer than others. Some mornings she would wake up, have an adventure that felt like ten minutes and the sun would set, like conforming to reality was an allergy. She hated how she couldn't tell how long she had been there for, and she hated how she felt like she still had so much to numb herself too.

“We should all get some rest…” Ragatha broke the silence with her honey sweet voice. Pomni heard a quiet scoff come from behind her.

“Like sleeping away, our problems are gonna help,” Jax mumbled to himself. It wasn’t as quiet as he might have thought it was because Ragatha replied with a tight smile.

“I’m not saying it will fix anything, but after today we all deserve a rest.”

They all nodded. Jax let out an annoyed sigh and left the room, saying nothing to anyone but clearly making his departure known.

They all wished each other sweet dreams, which everyone knew would be a miracle if anyone were to actually dream of something that didn’t wake them up in a cold sweat.

Pomni was the last to leave, closing the door behind her and walking towards her room. She paused, looking at an NPC door that was crossed off as if that member had abstracted.

…

Weird.

Chapter Text

Something felt off. Pomni’s thoughts were awfully heavy, and her arms hurt. She had never felt a sensation like this in the circus, and her eyes felt as if they were weighed down by a weighted blanket. She shot up, only really seeing darkness. Moving her hands to her face, she felt the cold metal of a headset in her hands.

What the fuck?

She quickly removed the headset off her eyes, and let out a gasp.

She was on cot with greying sheets. Beside her was an IV drip and a needle in her right arm. She looked around, and the stench of other people became prominent.

There were at least fifteen people in this room.

She looked down to see that she was wearing simple, muddy colored scrubs. Her breathing got heavy, and it felt as if her lungs were going to collapse. She sat there, feeling her face and her hair, which was pleated into two french braids like so many others had in their own hair. She told herself to calm down, to have some sort of survival instincts because who knew what was past the doors of this dimly lit room.

Christine.

Christine Moore.

Her name. That was her name.

Christine Moore.

Christine Moore.

Christine Moore.

Christine Moore.

Christine Moore.

She told herself that over and over, trying to solidify her disbelief into memory. It helped slightly with her hyperventilating.

She looked around, trying to see if she could spot anyone who might have a circus counterpart. Almost all the other people were wearing headsets. Those who didn’t, had breathing tubes attached to their mouths. One person, a balding man, had his eyes open.

Something was off though. He wasn’t moving, and his green eyes looked at the ceiling like they had seen God himself.

Was he…?

“Gosh, we really have to enter this room?” A muffled voice sounded from beyond the walls Christine was contained in.

Shit.

She heard more chatter and sounds that resembled digits of a passcode. Quickly, she placed the headset back on her eyes, praying that it wouldn't send her back. All she saw was darkness, except for a slight grey to the screen like it wasn’t completely turned off. The doors had clearly opened, and she heard footsteps clatter into the room.

“Who even is this man?” A male voice had asked. She heard the voices walk closer, she knew they were headed for the open eyed man.

“Some sort of employee? I don’t know. That’s what he gets for messing with the server.” A female voice scoffs. Christine had pinpointed two voices, closing her eyes to try and hear better.

“All we have to do is dispose of the body. Stay on task, and it should be quick,” was all Pomni heard before squeaking wheels slowly dissipated. The door had clearly closed with a loud thud, but before she could take off the headset again, the grey screen turned bright.

A familiar melody played, and before Chris knew it, she could feel plastic textures envelop her body. She lifted her hands to remove the headset, but by the time her hands had reached her face, she felt nothing, only seeing two mismatched gloves in front of her eyes.

“F%*&#!!!”

Chapter Text

   “Pomni?!” Jax had two hands on her shoulders, shaking her body as if he was trying to rid a fly off of her head. She jerked her hand to the side, hitting him in his stomach.

       “Ouch!” He exclaimed, doubling over in pain. 

       “Why did you wake me up!?” She turned to him quickly, not paying any attention to his complaint. 

       “I heard screaming. Apparently I’m the only person here who gets annoyed by loud noises,” he replied, standing up to his full height. 

       “When did you give a s%&t about anyone here?” She replied, still annoyed that he was the asshole who brought her back to this hellscape.

       “I’m sorry for showing some concern. Yeesh, you try to be nice..” he tutted and shook his head, but Pomni saw clear hurt in his yellowed eyes. She groaned, annoyed by her own empathy. 

       “I’m sorry Jax, I’m just– processing,” she replied, her voice quiet. The memory of whatever happened was foggy, like she was dreaming. No. It felt too real to be a dream or some prank from Caine. She was certain she saw something she wasn’t supposed to see, something that clearly had shown her the state their bodies were in. The only thing she couldn’t remember was the name that she had repeated to herself over and over. 

Jax looked at her, a glint of something in his eyes. Did he feel remorseful about everything that he did during that last adventure? Was he worried? He locked eyes with her, and all that vanished, something she knew he did often. 

      “Well, process quietly. I’m trying to sleep,” he offered, quickly as he tried to leave the room. 

       “Wait,” she called out, and he halted, turning around with an annoyed look on his face. 

      “What would you do if you could take off this headset, and something terrible was on the other side of all this,”  she gestures around, and his previously annoyed face turns blank. Was he  thinking of a witty reply? Still, there was something uncertain in his face that made her wonder if he’d reply with a genuine answer. He scoffs, looking at her as if he knew something that she clearly didn’t. 

       “Like I said, process quietly,” he said, his voice hoarse with layers of something that sounded almost like understanding. Before she could coax him to stay longer, hoping to get more info from his ominous tone, he left for good this time.

On his way out, Ragatha had caught him, and because these digital walls were weirdly thin, Pomni could hear their entire conversation. On his way out, Ragatha had caught him, and because these digital walls were weirdly thin, Pomni could hear their entire conversation. 

         “Jax, please don’t tell me you already started pulling pranks again,” Ragatha sounded like her patience had run thin, but Pomni could almost see Ragatha's iconic tight smile appearing, trying to mask any anger that might be seeping through her stitches. 

          “Gosh Raggy, maybe I was trying to help her out?” he replied. 

        “Why can’t you ever read the room? Tonight is not the night for your Jax shenanigans!” she whispered. 

         “Awwww and here I thought you liked my Jax shenanigans.” 

This reply had earned Jax a very long sigh from Ragatha.

       “Please, just go back to your room. We’ve ALL had a long day,” she stated, which was followed by a silence that Pomni could tell was seeping with abhorrence from both sides. The silence stayed that way until Pomni had concluded one of them had left silently, leaving the other to also go back to their respective room. 

        Pomni had an emotional whiplash from all of this. Did all of this tense atmosphere lead to her hallucination of an escape?

No.

This was different from an exit door. This had felt real. She had felt sensations and textures in that small amount of time that Caine wasn't able to placate in this realm.

It had to be real.

She knew it was.

Now, all she had to do was figure out why this happened, how it happened and how she can do it again. 

Chapter Text

Everyone was annoying.

Everyone was trying to make this situation somehow better than it clearly was. Jax knew the truth, they were in hell. There was no escape, and if someone really thought that they were as delusional as Ragatha.

Still, he was the one who pushed the red button, he was the one who made the decision to stay…

He didn’t want to think about it at all, he didn’t even fully know why he did it. It was all a blur of emotion and panic, and somehow he felt as if he NEEDED to click the red button, no matter the outcome. It was all confusing.
Jax stood solemnly, slightly behind Pomni, closest to Zoobles door so he could escape if things got ugly, as he usually did when he was involved. While people chatted and debriefed, he noticed Pomni’s pinwheel eyes turn to scribbled charcoal. He had seen this happen before, when she first joined the circus. Rolling his eyes, he swatted at her cheek, trying to pull her out of whatever she was thinking of. He didn’t know what kind force possessed him to care, maybe her infectious empathy was rubbing off on him. Still, he did it anyway, telling himself that if she wasn't dissociating he would have more opportunities to mess with her.

After the meeting in Zoobles' room, Jax retreated to his room, lying on the pastel pink bedspread with exhaustion. He tried to fall asleep quickly, hoping that memories from either this adventure or whatever was flashing through his head would quiet down for even an hour, letting him sleep without the guilt of being himself.

Luckly, sleep came quick, keeping up appearances was hard, and his cartoon body had been trying to desperately escape the facade.

The rest didn’t last long, all of sudden he felt exhausted. It wasn’t normal for his body to feel so tired. Obviously, he still had some sense of pain in the digital world but this was different. This was potent, almost uncomfortable. He shifted slightly, and felt something thin connected to his arm, had someone finally grew balls and pranked him back? His eyes were heavy, a sensation that was new as well, something was very much off. He reached one hand up to his face, and his hand made contact with something cold, something real. It felt like the headset he placed over his eyes so long ago. Still, this couldn’t be how he escaped… This had to be a dream or some sort of digital hallucination.

He pulled off the headset, moving it onto his lap and sitting up slightly while trying to analyze the area. He didn’t fully believe this, and part of him wanted to laugh it off and ask Caine to come out from wherever he was watching from. Still, there were things that he couldn’t deny.

Jax could feel everything. The weight of the headset in his hands, the texture of the cot he was on, the IV in his arm. It was all so overstimuating, and that was proof enough that it wasn't a dream. Caine could make some crazy adventures, but Jax had never felt textures and sensations like this before. He adjusted his eyes to the room he was in, slightly squinting since it had been years since he used them to look at anything other than a screen an inch from his face.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled to himself. He let out a couple more curses, relieved he didn’t need to hear any censors. That was his final proof, he was somehow out of the circus. Still, he wasn’t exactly ecstatic about what he saw. People, a bunch of them in similar headsets. There were clearly a couple empty spaces that previously housed a bed, he didn’t want to think where those beds –and the people who were in them– went.

He looked down at his hands, scarred and calloused from his previous life. He looked at his wrist, noticing a small, plastic wrist band. He moved it so that the wide part was facing him, and read the words that were printed onto it.

Felix Garcia
Age: 23

Felix. The name hit his head with a heavy understanding. Something surprised him even more though:

his age.

He entered the circus at that age.

His life in the circus was long, feeling like years.

All that pain…

All that loss…

There was no way he had only been in the circus for… almost a year, maybe shorter, maybe longer?

“Fuck!” He whispered louder, testing the waters to how loud he could speak. If it wasn’t for how weak his body felt, he would get up quickly, and run out of this room. He didn’t care what was on the other side, he didn’t even care if a security guard with a gun put him out of his misery.
He turned around slightly, there were big screens behind him, with green codes and text flashing and moving. He noticed familiar names.

Kinger

Ragatha

Jax

Gangle

Zooble

Pomni

He also noticed names that were unfamiliar and some that left a bad taste in his mouth.

Scratch

Kaufmo

Ribbit

Beside these names were statuses, as clear as day that their fate were left to the blatant bluntness of each word.

Terminated or Lucid. That was the word that decided these names’ fate. No funeral, no door with a red ‘X’.

Just the word ‘Terminated’ or ‘Lucid’.

Weirdly enough, his name had the current status, something that was unique to him, the only person who seemed to be conscious in the room.

Jax: Offline.

Chapter Text

This was real. 

            Shit had just gotten so real. Felix wished he could go back, not because he enjoyed the digital space but because it was easier. It was easier than whatever this shit was. His pranks, his one liners everything was done because it wasn’t serious, no one would die from his harmless antics. Still, now things had punishment. I mean, the names that used to hold memory are just aligned with other words and code, like their existence didn’t matter in the slightest. It made him angry. 

             This situation seemed impossible, it seemed like it was karma for all the terrible things he did in the circus. Finally, hell had caught him by the ankles, pulling him down and trapping him in realization. This room was his prison and the headset in his lap was another prison, and he was supposed to choose between the two? At least with the circus he had freedom to an extent, here it felt solid, everything was real. 

He scratched at his skin, hard. It felt safe. The weight of these two situations gave him the wish for abstraction. At least in the digital realm he could pass on, and he wouldn't have to worry about what his body was doing. 

Maybe… if he returned…

            He had felt freedom, pure content once before.. before he was interrupted by a short jester and an escape plan. He so wanted to feel that peace again, despite knowing deep down, he didn't deserve that peace. 

            Carefully, he picked up the headset, its metal still cold in his hands. He sighed, a tired sigh that his persona, Jax, would never let out in front of anyone. 

He placed it over his eyes, and laid down. 

Felix would soon be dead, Felix had been ‘dead’ for years. 

Now, Jax would soon be too. 

Chapter Text

Jax’s body sat upright in his dark, very digital room. He knew what he had to do. He wasn’t going to atone for anything. He was going to selfishly find a way to abstract, a final bow that was very much on brand for him. He didn’t care what the others would think. He didn’t care if they made him the villain of the story. He wanted all of this reality, this harsh reality, to be over.

 He laid in his bed, thinking for what seemed to be awhile, the darkness and the quiet of the night leaving his thoughts to be his own torture, he hoped it would be over for him soon. 

Something interrupted these thoughts, a scream. Being in adventures that were nightmare inducing had made him familiar with his castmates' calls of distress, Pomni was clearly having a nightmare. Maybe he could do one final good thing, something to the friend that he needed to push away. 

            Jax walked up to her door and tested the knob. It was unlocked. Dumba$&. He walked in and saw that her body was weirdly shaking, not out of fear, like it was glitching in and out. He walked up to her, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. The glitching had subsided, and she shot up, looking at her hands in disbelief. 

He was then hit in the stomach. 

  “Why did you wake me up!?”

   “I heard screaming. Apparently I’m the only person here who gets annoyed by loud noises,” he replied, despite his efforts to try to make amends, he clearly didn’t have any motivation to implement it. He did what was comfortable, and a purple rabbit can’t change its color.  

       “When did you give a s%&t about anyone here?” she replied. Weird. She was usually the most patient with him. 

       “I’m sorry for showing some concern. Yeesh, you try to be nice..” 

         He knew he didn’t deserve any patience. He felt somewhat bad… He hated how weak it made him feel. He noticed Pomni’s face softened, which made him angry-that he made her feel bad. 

       “I’m sorry Jax, I’m just– processing,” she replied, her voice was sweet. He hated that she had the ability to make him think about his actions. 

       He didn’t deserve kindness, and he couldn’t care less about all of this. Still, part of him wanted.. 

 “Well, process quietly. I’m trying to sleep.” 

 “Wait.” 

 He stopped, genuinely curious about what she wanted to say. 

      “What would you do if you could take off this headset, and something terrible was on the other side of all this.” 

 This made him freeze, had she experienced…? No, he would have noticed if someone else had escaped. She wouldn’t have put the headset back on. No one would have put it back on if they were in his situation. 

        “Like I said, process quietly.” 

Jax returned to his room after a confrontation with Ragatha. Of course, he was blamed for Pomni's ‘malfunction’. Once he was gone for good at least Ragtha could focus on ridding Pomni of the bad energy he had implemented while they were friends. 

Jax knew he was a terrible person, and now that there's more behind this circus, he had come to the realization that he was truly evil. He wasn’t sugarcoating it. He wasn’t going to plead on his knees for forgiveness. He was just going to end it for good.

Jax didn’t sleep the rest of the night. He was just analyzing, thinking and figuring out how to placate the peace he once had felt. The next day was no different. Caine was nowhere to be found, so everyone did their own thing. Gangle and Zooble hung out with Kinger. He had recruited them to help him with a special task. Jax didn't care what that actually entailed. Ragatha snuck stink eyes at Jax or at least tried too. She was too nice to fully commit. 

Pomni, on the other hand, had a faraway look. He noticed how she was always lost in thought, more so today than before. He also noticed how she would look at him, narrowing her eyes whenever he passed her. Sometimes she would open her mouth to say something then quickly close it like she was rethinking that choice. 

This would have weirded him out more if he wasn’t planning his own demise. At some point during the day, he went back to his room, laying down on his bed. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to drift to sleep, or feel something other than numbness. His breathing had slowed, and he felt his body get lighter. Finally, was this it?

He could feel the peace creeping over him, it was something he so desperately wanted. 

He needed it. 

He could feel it…

That was until he was interrupted by a light knock on his door.

Chapter Text

        The first thing Pomni noticed was Jax’s tired face. He had opened the door slightly, and she had gotten a sense of deja vu from the last time this had happened. 

“What.”

“ We need to talk.” She said, determined and ready to face his decline.

“Why?”

“You know something. I know you do,” she said. His eyes lit up slightly-not fully, but enough to affirm her suspicions. 

“Can I come in?” she asked. She knew it was a long shot, but she tried anyway. She was shocked to see his head nod, and he opened the door just enough for her to slip inside. 

This was the first time she had seen his room. It was…cute? Pastel colors filled the room and childish decor adorned the walls and furniture. She sometimes wondered what Jax’s room looked like, but she never expected this. It was… normal. Well, normal enough. 

“Soooo, what do you think I know?” he says, his tone trying to sound sarcastic but failing due to his downbeat energy. 

“Last night, you woke me from a nightmare. I asked you a question..” She trailed off, trying to get him to talk. 

“Just because I didn’t answer doesn’t mean I know something,” he scoffs, crossing his arms and taking a seat on the edge of his bed. 

“Yes but you looked like you knew something,” she replied. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Were you able to remove the headset last night?” she whispered it, worried that someone might hear what she was saying. 

Pomni saw his face give her the answer. He was usually better at hiding his actual emotions. He nodded, and she gasped, the final confirmation. 

“Were you?” he asked, his face genuine for once. 

She replied with a nod of her own, which led to Jax standing quickly, pacing to the pattern of an imaginary line. 

“Why did you put the headset back on?” he asked, all of his usual Jax body language was replaced with a serious and unfamiliar person in front of her. 

“Someone was coming inside the room I was in, I panicked.”

 He nodded, putting a hand to his chin. “ I genuinely thought I was the only one,” he said quietly. 

“Why did you put the headset back on?” she asked. 

He looked at her, blankly. His face grew back into something familiar, something guarded. 

“Because if I escaped, I knew everyone would miss me dearly,” he dramatically proclaimed. 

           Pomni didn't know how he could go from genuine to fake so quickly, but she decided she didn’t want to push the question, worried he’d freak out at her again. 

“Okay, well if you like it or not we’re in this together now.” She looked up at his smile, and it faltered slightly before returning back like nothing had happened. 

“It’s not like it’ll happen again, Poms.” He laughed. 

She didn’t know why he decided to return to this place, or why he was clearly keeping things from her. Still, it wasn’t what she would worry about. She needed him, and he needed her, because whether they liked it or not, they truly were stuck with the weight of this truth. 

It was Pomni’s turn to give him a mischievous smile, two could play at his game.

“That's why tonight we’re trying it again.” 

“Pom, there's so much wrong with that plan,” he said, leaning down and gripping her shoulders. 

“Do you have a better idea?” She asked. He looked down, and looked back up at her.

 “No,” he said quietly. 

“Then, we can see if we’re able to come and go as we please,” she said, “I don’t know if you were in the same room I was in, but if we’re in the same circus there's a good chance we're in the same room.” She glanced at him before walking to one of the colorful chairs at the edge of his room and sitting down.

 He joined her, sitting in front of her on the floor. “ 

Okay, but I’m guessing this place is, like, highly secure.”

 “We can figure that out too.” She replied.

His questions were making her more and more anxious, but she was determined to hide that from Mr. Negative. 

He was about to reply when they heard a knock on his door. 

“Jax? It’s Ragatha. Have you seen Pomni, she’s nowhere to be found.” Her muffled voice sounded worried, which made Pomni feel slightly bad for not telling her where she went. Jax huffed, noticing this. 

            “You don’t owe her an explanation.” He whispered before getting up and walking to his door. He whispered again, “ What do you want me to say?”   Pomni thought for a moment, and shrugged. He rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. 

“ Hello?” Ragatha asked. 

“ Yeah, Poms in here with me, we're just chatting.” He said, opening the door slightly to reply. Pomni couldn't see Ragatha but the silence was very telling. 

“Okay…” She replies, “Let me know when you guys are done with your conversation.” She hesitantly states. He nods, closing the door afterwards and walking towards Pomni’s direction. They stood there in silence for a bit, the same topic heavy in their minds. Pomni looked up at Jax, who seemed to be even more lost in thought than she previously was. 

“I should go… Tonight, right after everyone goes to bed.” She nodded to confirm.

He smiles, a tight smile that she’s never seen him display before.

 “I’ll see you on the other side.” Was all he replied.

Chapter Text

Pomni was terrified about tonight, she didn’t know what to expect. She wished it was as easy as removing a headset and walking away. Now, she had people she cared about stuck here, she had a room beyond this place that might be her final resting place. All of this was overwhelming, and she never would have thought that having Jax of all people experience this with her would make her feel better, it did. She was just glad to have someone else know about this. It also made her wonder why no one else had that happen to them? She spent the rest of the day talking with the others, and while they were all still shaken up from the last adventure, they never mentioned the possibility of escape.

She laid her head down slowly, closing her eyes and trying her best to fall asleep. She didn’t know what activated it, or if sleeping was the only way she would be able to escape, but she was determined to return.

The sensations came back, textures that she knew were real. She stopped, listening around her. It was dead quiet. She listed her hands, and let out a sigh of relief when she felt the curve of the headset over her eyes.

She removed it slowly, sitting up and looking around. The room was the same as before, the same eerie sight.

Christine.

She hated how manipulated her head felt, whatever technology was being used worked well. She didn’t want to think about what memories or truths this technology could have altered or omitted completely. She knew that those modifications could work in the circus, but was there a way to modify the brain here too?

A loud gasp, almost like someone was breathing after being underwater for too long, came from beside her. She almost let out a yelp, but put her hand over her mouth to stifle any loud noise. She turned beside her, and the body stirred. The hands of this body reached up to his own headset, taking it off and placing it on his lap as he sat up.

For a moment, she just stared at the face looking back at her.

The man had tan skin and freckles dusted over his face. His chocolate brown hair was very unkempt, and appeared to be grown out from his time in the circus. Despite the obvious melanin, his complexion was pasty, probably from being in a dark room for who knows how long.
“Jax?” She finally whispered, her voice quiet but steady. The man stared back at her, and she wondered what he saw. She could remember what she looked like, but after what feels like forever in the circus, she doesn't trust the memory of herself.

“Felix.” He replied, lifting his arm out. Their cots were close enough to his that she could reach out, shaking his hand. The contact felt warm, it was steady, comforting. She had forgotten what human contact had felt like, and her hand lingered in his.

“Christine.” She replied in the same whisper talk volume he used. She finally let go of his hand, and used her now free hands to rub her eyes.

“My eyesight is going to be shit after this.” She said, This made him laugh, a soft chuckle that she had never heard from him in the circus before.
“That's what you're worried about?”

She leaned back slightly, turning her head to face him.
“ I’m terrified.” She confessed. He looked at her, and Christine was still so unfamiliar with the man next to her. He seemed different, and she couldn't place it. The closest thing she could compare it to was how Jax had acted after they had figured out they could remove their headsets, while his humor still sat there, there was something more… something that was further and further straying from the archetype he so ardently clung too. Christine decided to take the first step forward, literally. She turned her body to sit up fully and carefully placed her feet on the floor. She hadn’t realized she was barefoot until the cold cement of the ground sent shivers to her spine. Jax–Felix, Mirrored her action, they were now facing each other.
“ How about we both get up at the same time?” She offered. To her surprise, he nodded. She reached out a hand, which made him look down. This wasn’t a handshake, it was an invitation. He exhaled, taking her hand.

Jax’s first thought when seeing the human Pomni in front of him was that she was tiny. It was true, she was a shorter looking person, something he could tell despite her laying down. She had brown hair that was in two french braids, and soft eyes, it was odd to how much she resembled her in-game avatar. Even now, trying to stand with her, her hands are small, and the differences they have as actual humans is so funny given the differences they had as game characters.
He didn’t really know what to think of her plan, or the fact that she was experiencing the same thing he was. Deep down, he still wished that there was a way to escape both of these situations, to find a way to remove all the pain that he’d been used to for so long. He knew that this would amount to nothing, he knew that they would have to return to the digital world one way or another, after any plan they came up with would lead to a fate worse than death. So, when that did happen, he hoped that peace, the undeniable freedom would be waiting for him.

They carefully supported each other as they stood, careful to be as quiet as possible. Felix had already noticed that this room had zero video surveillance, which was odd given how illegal all of this had to be. Carefully, both sets of feet finally made it on the ground. For Christine, she was a bit unsteady but overall her body reacted fine to standing. Felix on the other hand struggled to get his balance. He was shorter than his rabbit counterpart, thank goodness, but he was still towering over Chris, holding onto her shoulders to support himself.

“Damn, to think I’ve only been in the circus for less than a year.” He said laughing. Christine gave him a look.
“How do you know that?” She asked.
“Check your wristband.” He said, using one of his hands to touch the wrist band on her wrist. She lifted her arm, reading the words.

“If you’ve only been there less than a year that means I’ve definitely been in the circus for at least a couple months.” Her eyes glazed over slightly, and Felix knew she was trying to figure out a timeline. Now that time was actually relevant again.

Chapter Text

“We need to open the door.” Was what Felix told Chris after they realized that walking was much easier than they thought it would be.

He leaned to look at it, it was a thick, metal door that opened using a code. The only problem was they didn’t know what that code could be. Chris was still getting used to all these feelings and textures. Despite being able to walk without much effort, her body still felt weak. She had been living off of IV tubes for too long, and she could feel how much her body had suffered because of it. 

“You’re going to hurt yourself with all that thinking.” Felix said, making his way back to where she was standing. 

“ Well how about you come up with a plan!” She said, hopping up to sit down on her cot. He did the same, and they both let out exhausted sighs. The human body was so much more fragile than she had remembered, and Christine knew Felix felt the same way. 

“ Liar, you were obviously worrying about something.” He commented, lending forward to flick her forehead lightly. 

“ How the fuck would you know that?” She said, somewhat amused.

“ You always get a faraway look, and even as a human your eyes start to narrow in a way that looks like you’re a cartoon.” He chuckles at his own comment. If she wasn’t tired from walking around the room, she’d punch him in the arm. Why was he weirdly perceptive? 

“It’s weird that you know that.” She shook her head, looking around the room. While Felix analyzed the door, she tried to make sense of the code on the screens behind her. Needless to say, she didn’t make any progress. 

“ Should we head back? We probably shouldn’t leave for long periods of time, we don’t know how this program is monitored.” 

“Well, the program is on night mode right now, probably meaning certain code is shut down to save power. We still have time.” Felix replied, shrugging. 

“ Wait, how can you tell?” She shifted on the cot so that she was fully facing the screen. 

“ The bottom right corner.” He points. Felix was right, the system had a little icon in the corner. 

“ How do you know that the code is shut down?” She asked, here Chris had assumed he was as clueless as she was. 

“ I took a couple computer science classes before the circus,” He replied, laying down. 

“ I would have never expected that from you,” she replied, laying down too. They both stared at the ceiling. It was odd that this room had other people in it too, they never moved or stirred and the whole place felt like they were the only two kids awake at a sleepover.

“ I mean, it wasn’t my first option. I’m – I mean I was a philosophy major.” He laughed at himself. 

“ I thought the computer classes would help me land a job, since philosophy wasn’t going to get me anywhere…” 

Chris was sure that Felix was not Jax, but Jax was somehow Felix. She didn’t know why he had opened up, or why he somehow approached things much more thoughtful than previously. She almost wanted to ask him, but she knew that would not end well. 

“I guess I know your secret now.” She sang. He hummed back at her statement. 

“and what's that?” 

“You’re a complete nerd.” 

Returning to the circus was far from underwhelming, the dull colors of the room was bliss compared to the loudness of the circus. Still, Pomni didn’t want to test how much tim they could spend there. It was odd, they could remember what they did and what they talked about, but things like faces and names seemed to be muddy in her head. So, she was back to being Pomni. 

Caine had decided to make an appearance today, which was in the form of teleporting everyone to the common space. 

“GOOD MORNING MY TINY TAPIOCA PEARLS!” He announced. Pomni looked around, everyone was apathetically looking at him.  

After returning to the circus, “MY APOLOGIZES FOR NOT BEING PRESENT YESTERDAY, I WAS SO KIND TO GIVE YOU ALL A BREAK FROM THE ADVENTURES FOR DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB!” gold stars appeared on all of their chests, which read: you da best ;) 

Zooble sighed. 

“Can we just do something peaceful today?” Despite it being buried in layers of boredom, pleading was also present in their voice. 

“WELLLLL, SINCE YOU ALL LOVE ME AND MY ADVENTURES, I MADE A SPECIAL ONE FOR YOU GUYS TODAY!” 

Before anyone could reply, there was a tense grunt from someone behind the group. Pomni turned with the others, and Jax stood angry with arms crossed. 

“You don’t get to do this!” He huffed out. 

“You don’t get to waltz back here like you didn’t completely manipulate us last time!” Jax looked around like he was looking for people to agree with him. Pomni looked around too, Zooble's eyes were wide and they were shaking their head inconspicuously. Kinger looked confused, poor guy. Gangle and Ragatha looked partly shocked, while also staying completely silent. 

The worst part was Caine, who was staring at him, completely still. 

“ S#%T! Jax shut up!” Zooble said, pointing at Caine's frozen state. 

“ How am I doing anything wrong? Have you all moved on from this?” He looked genuinely confused, and Pomni felt a bit bad for him. He looked directly at her, glaring like she personally did something wrong. 

“ No one is gonna side with me?” 

Pomni opened her mouth, hoping to at least bring the situation down, but Caine started to glitch, shaking and moving similar to how he had done so before. Then, like Jax hadn’t said anything, he perked up again. 

WELLLLL, SINCE YOU ALL LOVE ME AND MY ADVENTURES, I MADE A SPECIAL ONE FOR YOU GUYS TODAY!”  He repeated like a rewinded record. Pomni didn’t know what to think, and it wasn’t helping that she and Jax had already found cheats in the system. Was it making this realm unstable? She pushed the thought down, hoping to ask Jax once they had another moment to talk. 

Speaking of Jax, he sat there, looking annoyed and emotional. Something she thought everybody could notice this time. 

“ I’m not participating, sorry not sorry.” He mumbled before walking away. 

“WHO SPAT IN HIS CORN FLAKES?” Caine said, before laughing hysterically at his own joke. 

“NEVERMIND, MR.GRUMPY, LETS BEGIN THIS ADVENTURE.”

Chapter Text

Pomni was expecting something more highstrung for the adventure, weirdly enough it was just a game of dodgeball. Except the dodgeballs were copies of bubble. Caution: Bubble bites…
After a long game, they all returned to the circus. Pomni was about to go find Jax, hoping he had cooled off from his (somewhat rightful) speech this morning. Before she made it very far, Kinger called Pomni over to his fort. She had noticed him waving her down as she walked in the direction of the rooms. She walked over to him, waving back.
“ Do you need something?” she asked sweetly.

“ Pomni! Come here!” He yelled.
“ I’m right here,” She replied. He laughed, and for Kinger, it could have been for many reasons. She ducked into his fort, and he put the last pillow in the entrance, leaving them in a very dark space.
“ Pomni, I’ve been…seeing things,” he said. This made her flinch, she didn’t know if this was one of his rambles, or something important.

“ Like what?” she asked, slowly, like she wasn't trying to break him.

“Glitches. Unstable coding. Dancing crocodiles eating birthday cake.” He said solemnly. Pomni would have usually given a sympathetic reply, but this seemed more real, like he had discovered something but couldn't fully explain it.
“ Kinger, what else have you seen?” She carefully asked, scooting closer to him.

“ Bees. Facts about honey bees, when one of them survives a predator attack, they will avoid the area they were attacked in, even warning other bees to not approach that area as well. Fascinating, right, Pomni?” Although she couldn’t see his face very clearly, she could tell he sounded odd, almost like he was trying to tell her something else. Pomni shook her head, scolding herself, she wasn’t going to panic over a fact about bees.

“ Any other facts?” She smiled, she obviously was reading way into this.

“One more. Did you know that the queen bee can sense danger? The queen bee can tell when something, or someone might be messing with the hive.”

“ Do you understand?”

Pomni’s eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, and she noticed he was looking directly at her.

“ I think so…” She hesitantly replied. She thanked him, rising to leave. Moving the pillow that kept the darkness in, she waved goodbye.

“ Watch out for the dancing crocodiles!” He advised. She gave him a thumbs up, leaving the heap of digital fabric with knowledge that couldn’t be accidental.

“Felix!” Chris had said after adjusting her eyes to the darkness of the room. His bed had been empty, so she turned to look at the door. There he was, sitting down in front of it, thinking hard about who knows what.

She stood, removing the IV and walking over to him. She sat down next to him, looking at his face rather than the door.

“Where were you all day?” She said, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the touch but didn’t shake off her hand.

“I was in my room, I fucking hate that stupid AI.” He said, pushing his hair out of the front of his face.

“I’m sorry for not saying anything, I’m guessing Zooble knows that he can be unstable sometimes.” She said, looking back at the door.
“Did you notice how scared they got?” She remarks, trying to cheer him up or maybe it was to defend the fact that he might have been in the wrong. Even Christine didn’t know.

“It’s whatever. I’m over it.”

“Fel-” Chris had started, before being interrupted by his voice again.

“Chrissy, we need to escape this place.” He said, turning to face her.

Chapter Text

Felix didn’t think he would say it first. He wanted to kill himself two days ago. Still, this room was poorly guarded. The coding appeared to be failing both inside and outside. Somehow, Chris had put a hint of hope in the heart he had deemed hopeless years ago. He just wanted to run, maybe change his identity and work as a cashier for the rest of his life, he wasn’t picky.

Most of all, he wanted to stick it to whoever put him here. He didn’t want to be a puppet or die from some weird VR experiment. He wanted to die, but his defiance was stronger. He wanted to do what he did best, irritate others by making his own damn rules.

“ Felix, I’m all for it. Still, we need to first know what's on the other side of this door.” Chris said, meeting his eyes after a few seconds of silence.

“ I have an idea, but it’s very far-fetched.” He said, standing up and stretching his back.
“We are a group of bodies in a room, a group of living bodies. There has to be people who come in and check our IVs. I would also guess that they also come in for maintenance. Our first plan, figure out when that is.” While talking, he paced in front of the door, Christine still sitting in front of him.

“ Okayyy, but we’ve only been able to remove our headsets at night. Even then, we don’t know if it's day or night here.” Christine replied, her face covered in skepticism.

“ Shit, yeah. We could cause someone to come in immediately?” He said, his pacing continued.

“ That could work, but how exactly would we be able to get out unscathed? I’m guessing they won’t let us go free after escaping some weird experiment.”

Christine’s reply resulted in a dramatic sigh from Felix.

“ You’re really sounding like me right now.” He said, thinking about his constant obstinance in the circus. This earned him a laugh from Chris.

“ I’m sorry, it just seems sorta… half-baked?” she concluded lightly.

“ How dare you!? I’ll have you know that plan took me an hour to come up with!” He replied in mock hurt.

“ Ugh, my apologies, Felix the wise.” She stood up, bowing dramatically. They both shared a quiet laugh, which dissolved into silence that made Felix worried. He hated that he had to figure out this escape plan, he hated that things needed to be taken seriously now.

This was all too real for his liking.

Chapter Text

Christine liked Felix’ idea, she just wanted to be sure it was executed properly. Felix seemed to be much smarter than Jax had ever let on, and she always was interested in what he had to say. Felix himself felt different to Christine, he was a bit softer, maybe even kinder? She didn’t know.

“ Okay, I think that if we do something drastic enough, it might notify the system.” Felix said. They had migrated to his bed, both of them sitting next to each other.

“ Is this with the assumption that there is a system to notify?” Christine replied.

“ Yes. I think if a headset was damaged, it might notify someone. This place doesn’t feel like just an abandoned facility. Like you told me, you saw people wheel out an employee.” He explained. Chris nodded, she had thought of that, but part of her wanted to be naive to the fact that this could cost them their lives.

“ Okay. We break a headset. One person can jump the employee and steal whatever is useful. We can use any keys that we find to hopefully find an exit.”

“Christine, I didn't think you’d resort to violence,” he replied smugly.

“Maybe I learned a thing or two from that fuckass gun adventure,” she replied just as smugly. This made him laugh. She felt bad about bringing it up, partly because it didn't necessarily end well. Despite how well they seemed to work together as humans too, Christine didn’t want to open that conversation just yet.
“Okay, when are we going to go through with this plan?” He asked.

“Let's do it tomorrow night, it gives us enough time in the circus to figure anything out.” She turned to look at him, wondering what he could be thinking.

“This is actually happening.” He mumbled, running his hand through his hair. This made her smile. Chris knew he was far from perfect and he had shit he needed to deal with. She knew that he had walls built, but he was still someone who was put through something terrible. She wanted to believe that he regrets how he acts in the circus, but it was up to him to figure out that shit. All she could do was be there for him, for Felix.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, which made him look at her. His eyes were hazel with specks of gold. She had never seen his eye color until now, and she wondered how she could have missed it.

“ We’ve got this.”

—--

“ I don’t think Caine knows what Indiana Jones is..” Zooble said sitting in desert sand. They were all transferred to a complete rural desert, where they needed to find their way back to the circus.
Gangle and Ragatha both helped them up from the sand, while Jax and Pomni held the map in their hands. Jax was clearly annoyed with this adventure and Pomni hoped this wouldn’t affect their plan for tonight.
After returning, they had planned on skipping the adventure, but after a very tiring conversation with Caine, they were forced into it. Pomni guessed that the sand, and the humidity they could somehow feel, was irritating Jax.

“ Let’s just keep walking,” Jax said, slightly looking behind him.

“ Why are you in such a rush?” Ragatha asked from behind him.

“ My deepest apologies, I didn’t think you loved these adventures!” He replied, his voice raising in the air. They all sighed collectively and began walking again. Gangle, Zooble and Ragatha some ways behind them while Jax, Pomni were walking in the front. Kinger had disappeared at the start of the adventure, but given the fact that they couldn’t die, they kept an eye out for him while traveling. Pomni had no doubt after they escaped she’d find a way to rescue the others. Still, she felt bad for leaving the others, especially since they had been there much longer.

Given the slight privacy they had at the front of the group, Pomni leaned over slightly to Jax.

“ I forgot to tell you about what Kinger had told me the other day.”

“ Trust me, I don’t think you should take what he says seriously,” he replied, eyes fixed in front of him. She knew he wanted to return to the circus and finish the adventure, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Kinger had said. Did it apply to their escape plan? She didn’t know, but the way he said it seemed so important.

“ Jax, I’m being serious, he was being really ominous. He said he was seeing glitches.”

“ Pom, we all saw Caine glitch. That’s probably what he was talking about.” He replied, in the same tone, completely uninterested.

“ I’m saying that we should consider what he said. He mentioned the queen bee can tell when someone is messing with the hive..” before she could continue he stopped and looked at her in anger.
“ I’m trying to tell you to drop it! We don’t need to overanalyze what Kinger of all people is saying!” This made her equally angry, she hated how much he could switch from nice to a jerk.

“ What is wrong with you? I swear you give me an emotional whiplash every time we talk!” her voice was rising too, and she could see that Jax hadn't expected her to reply in anger.

“ I’m just saying, don't stress yourself out with this! We have so much we need to consider already!”

At this point, the others caught on to their argument. Pomni could hear them whispering about what was happening. Ragtha stepped closer to both of them, her hands out.

“ Lets just take a breath for a second..”

“ Ragatha I swear, this isn’t about you!” Jax turned to look at her, practically screaming in her face. Everyone stood there silently, the heat of the desert no longer at the forefront of anybody's minds.

“ What is with Jax and tantrums recently?” Zooble whispered to Gangle, which both of them obviously heard.

“Jax..” Pomni had said quietly, which made him turn to face her. She noticed the fear, something she could see as both a human and a cartoon Jester.

“ We can worry about that later. Let’s just keep going, okay?” She made it obvious enough that she was talking about their own plan, while everyone else would have assumed they were talking about the adventure. Jax nodded. He then turned back to the others, his tired face shifting into an overly animated smile.

“ Gosh, Zoobie is right.. This is so embarrassing.” he covered his face in pretend embarrassment.

“ I forgot that this is all a video game, nothing is this serious.” He pushed Ragatha to prove his point. This earned him a glare from Pomni. She didn’t think he’d do anything about her disappointment, but he pulled Ragtha up immediately after, turning and signalling the others to keep walking.

“ Happy?” he groaned. Pomni’s reply was a encouraging smile.