Chapter Text
Mezo thought he could live without making people smile with his music. But knowing people would be confused and sad about his sudden disappearance, one day, a crucial decision was made. He didn't want to tell her, and even if he did, his voice was nowhere to be found. And if he did tell her... he didn't want to imagine what would happen, so the thought lingered around him like a smell he wanted to get rid of.
He had forgotten completely about what she said weeks ago. Preparations were being made left and right. His shoes barely scraped against the floor as he moved with careful precision. "I will not get caught," were the words he repeated constantly in his head like prayers. Maybe he thought if he said it enough times, it wouldn't happen. He wouldn't get caught. He really could not recall a single thing she said, could he?
He put on his jacket and made his way out of the house. He paused for a moment, expecting something, anything. But no one came for him. It was clearly past midnight; Kendall would be asleep by now. But he thought she'd care enough to notice him step even one foot out the house without her knowledge. The thought was brushed off as soon as it appeared, and he started walking farther, musical equipment slung over his shoulder. It weighed on him, making his shoulders slump forward. He looked small, nothing like who he used to be. Looking over his shoulder constantly, the feeling of her eyes on him followed him like a ghost. The distance between him and their house opened more and more, until it's silhouette couldn't be seen anymore.
With the building out of sight, weight seemed to slowly crumble, leaving him feeling lighter than the past few weeks. Maybe he was far enough, far enough that she wouldn't see him.
So he continued walking, phone in hand, looking for the venue he paid for in full.
A smile crept onto his face at the thought of seeing the smiles of other people once again. The thought of being more than just Kendall's lover. Another thought appeared in his mind; one where he imagined playing the guitar in front of a crowd of people who never made him feel trapped or restricted. That's what he loved so much about his profession; making people smile, making people feel noticed, reminding people of the fact that they aren't alone, and never will be. Showing everyone that music has no rules or restrictions. it's just something that's supposed to make people happy, whether they are the audience or the performer.
It wasn't long until he got into a taxi and turned off his phone. For the next hour, he just... looked out the window. Looked at the people enjoying themselves. This is what Homeland was without the feeling of being imprisoned. This was what it was like to be normal.
And he couldn't say it out loud, but he really, really missed it.
He missed when he was just a kind and caring performer who made everyone smile. And sometimes, he wishes he never met Kendall at all, he wishes he never approached her that day. But he pushes those thoughts down immediately, because he wanted to believe that he still loved her. That she was that kind woman he met long ago. But it was clear he felt more like her prisoner than like her lover.
He arrived at the venue, and people were already there waiting for him. Their smiles widened at the sight of him, and he waved at them enthusiastically. "Hey! You guys are pretty early," Mezo started, quickly pulling out a marker. "I guess you'd be really thrilled for an autograph, hm?" He sounded so confident, so prepared, when in reality he wanted to flinch every time he heard footsteps coming towards him, thinking every time that one pair would belong to her.
The people's eyes shined with excitement as they ran towards him, bringing out literally anything they wanted him to sign. He was grateful he'd brought a permanent marker instead of a pen beforehand.
One fan, a girl coming with her older sister, walked up to him and showed him a drawing she made. It was just a stick figure, but it was clearly supposed to be him. He drew a heart on the corner of the drawing and wrote a short message about how she should continue drawing. She looked at it again, and her eyes lit up with immense happiness. Her older sister smiled as she looked at the drawing as well, looking at Mezo with gratitude in her eyes. Eventually, the audience made it to their assigned seats, and Mezo kept checking the time, waiting for the event to start.
And it started and he began to perform, he could feel a genuine smile on his lips. This is what it felt like to be free, to be normal.
And he was happy once again.