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Hayden had known Shane was gay for a while now.
Shane was excessive in his privacy but Hayden was his best friend. And best friends could just tell these things about each other.
Also, Hayden saw “Lily” send a dick pic when Shane left his phone unlocked in their hotel room, but Hayden liked to think he would have figured it out eventually on his own.
(He would not have).
Hayden had been trying for months now to get Shane to open up. He tried to show he was supportive. He invited Shane to a gay bar, but trying to get Shane to go out was futile from the start. He mentioned the gay couple Jackie had befriended, but Shane just looked uncomfortable. He was fairly certain Shane hadn’t even noticed he put rainbow tape on his hockey stick (although some recent distasteful chirps on the ice told him some of his opponents certainly had, but he had shut that down real fast).
Hayden also tried just asking about Lily, but Shane always looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack when the topic arose. Hayden just couldn't understand why Shane couldn't trust him. It got so bad Hayden almost worked himself into a panic attack. Jackie finally intervened and told him he needed to take a step back and wait for Shane to decide when he was ready to come out.
Hayden relented and was less aggressive in his approach, but he still thought about it constantly. He didn’t want his best friend to live in a world where it felt dangerous to be his true self. He didn’t want anyone to have to live that way. So he had lately been extra sensitive to the homophobia that was rampant in the NHL. He started calling out his teammates who made homophobic comments. He had already gotten in several fights on the ice over the issue. After being so passive on the issue for so long, he wasn’t holding back any longer.
So he certainly didn’t hold back when he heard Shane’s rival, Ilya fucking Rozanov, being homophobic toward Shane.
~~~
After winning a game against Boston, 4-3, Hayden had joined the rest of the team for a night out to celebrate. Unfortunately, as the team was entering the club, Hayden realized he had left his wallet behind. The bouncer, who was clearly a Boston fan, wouldn’t let him in without his ID. It wasn’t worth the fight and Hayden knew he would regret it in the morning if he waited until he was hungover to retrieve his wallet, so he relented and grabbed a cab. Some of his teammates had offered to join, but he promised he would be back quick and wanted his team to have some fun after their win.
Shane, unsurprisingly, had declined to join for the night. He had said he was turning in for an early night, but Hayden had no doubt Shane was going to visit Boston Lily, whoever he was.
Hayden had assumed the locker room would have been deserted by the time he returned, the team all at the bar and Shane off with his… booty call? boyfriend? lover?... whatever Lily was to him, so he was surprised when he arrived and heard voices.
Hayden took quiet steps towards the noise, hiding behind a row of lockers so he was close enough to hear without being detected. Sue him, he was nosey.
“You shouldn’t even be here, what are you doing here?” Hayden immediately identified the voice as Shane, hissing angrily to somebody, although Hayden couldn’t imagine why he would be here instead of with “Lily.”
Hayden could barely make out the responding, distinctly Russian, voice say, “To see you, obviously. Little cocksucker.”
Hayden couldn’t believe his ears. That was no doubt Ilya Rozanov, that voice had hurled enough insults on the ice for him to recognize it. But there is no way that is what he actually said. Rozanov was a dick but cornering his rival alone after a game just to hurl slurs at them? That seemed like a line that even Rozanov wouldn’t cross.
Hayden’s mind was furiously trying to catch up with the events unfolding when Shane responded. “Fuck off, Rozanov. Stop calling me that.” Shane sounded more exasperated than angry, but Hayden felt plenty of rage on his friend’s behalf.
“But you like to get on your knees and suck cock, no? That makes you cocksucker.”
Rozanov sounded so smug when he said it and Hayden felt months of rage on his friend’s behalf boil over. Who the fuck did Rozanov think he was? This was why Shane would never feel safe to come out, even to his best friend. This is why Shane had to hide his love like it was something to be ashamed of instead of something to be celebrated.
Hayden had no idea how Rozanov had found out about Shane’s sexuality or what his goal was–was he just here to mock Shane or something more sinister?–but Hayden wasn’t about to wait to find out. He finally stepped out from behind the lockers and saw Ilya was standing up close to Shane, pushing him up against a locker, and Hayden felt certain this was going to escalate into something worse than just verbal taunts. With a loud roar, fueled by the anger that had been simmering for months, Hayden lunged toward Ilya.
Hayden knew that Rozanov was stronger than him and could beat him in a fight (he had lost more fights to him on the ice than he would care to admit), but Hayden had the element of surprise. He used all of his strength to throw Rozanov against a locker, as far from Shane as he could get him, and didn’t give him the chance to recover. Hayden’s fists went flying, raining down on Rozanov with as many hits as he could land.
After getting a solid right hook to Rozanov’s jaw, someone grabbed Hayden’s arm when he pulled back to swing again. He hadn’t been able to hear anything over the roaring in his ears, but he finally registered that Shane was yelling at him. He let himself relax as his captain pulled him back, realizing that Rozanov wasn’t fighting back. Rozanov stayed on the ground, blood dribbling down his chin from his split lip, looking shell-shocked and honestly terrified. Hayden couldn’t help the wave of satisfaction that he was the one to put that look on the smug bastard’s face.
“Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing, Hayden? Stop!”
Hayden finally turned away from Rozanov to look at his best friend. He needed Shane to know that he was doing this for him, that he would always be willing to fight for him. “Shane, I know you don’t like us fighting, but I don’t care if I get suspended. You can’t possibly expect me to just stand by and let him get away with that… that disgusting behavior!”
Hayden saw Shane blanche, but before he could try to reassure Shane that he was more important than any game and that he would be willing to throw away his whole career to defend him, he was being thrown to the floor. It seemed Rozanov had finally recovered, and with a loud roar of his own, Rozanov tackled Hayden.
In the blink of an eye, Hayden found himself sprawled on the ground with Rozanov straddled on top of him. Hayden tried to blink the stars out of his eyes as Rozanov rained his revenge down on him. Rozanov didn’t have the cocky look he usually sported when fighting. If anything, he looked more enraged than Hayden had ever seen him, as he repeatedly punched Hayden. Hayden heard more than he felt the sickening crunch of his nose as Rozanov clocked him, and he had the fleeting thought that Jackie would be so mad at him when she found out he had started a fight with someone he knew for a fact could beat his ass. He was sure she would understand when she found out his reason… assuming he was conscious at the end of the fight to explain himself. It wasn’t looking good. Hard as he tried, Hayden couldn’t get Rozanov off of him, left only to try to block the hits as much as he could.
Rozanov suddenly stopped, looking back when Shane grabbed his arm, just as Shane had done to Hayden. Shane looked like he was on the verge of tears, and Hayden wasn’t surprised. This had to be a nightmare for him. Hayden would never regret defending his best friend, even if it meant he couldn’t play for the rest of the season, but he knew Shane likely wouldn’t share the sentiment. Hayden just hoped Shane knew it wasn’t his fault all of this was happening. Ilya fucking Rozanov was the only one to blame.
Realizing that Rozanov was distracted, Hayden took the opportunity to turn the fight back in his favor. He remembered Rozanov had taken a brutal hit in the game when he had been slammed against the wall by Comeau. Hayden had noticed him favoring his left side and now aimed for his no doubt bruised ribs. He was man enough to admit that he would have to fight dirty if he wanted to beat Rozanov.
With a groan of pain, Rozanov fell to the ground, curling up and grasping at the area Hayden had just hit. Hayden seized his chance and got up as quickly as he could. Now he was the one straddling Rozanov. He was ready to make him feel the pain that he was certain Shane had been feeling for years while stuck in the closest.
But just he pulled his arm back to swing, somebody grabbed him and flung him against a locker, just as he had done to Rozanov minutes earlier.
Hayden wiped the blood and sweat out of his eyes, grimacing in pain when he realized one of his eyes was beginning to swell shut. He looked around wildly as he tried to gather his bearings and figure out who had grabbed him. Was it one of Rozanov’s teammates, come to join the fight?
But it was still just the three of them in the locker room, and Hayden realized with a jolt that it was Shane that had thrown him. Shane, who was standing between Hayden and Rozanov, tears streaming down his cheeks and a look on his face Shane had never directed toward Hayden before.
“Hayden, I don’t know what has gotten into you, but it’s time for you to leave.” Shane’s voice was shaking. Hayden had never heard him sound so… afraid before.
Shane was standing in front of Rozanov, one arm in front of him stretched out toward Hayden while another reached back to Rozanov, even as he stared intently at Hayden. He looked like he was trying to ward off an angry beast. He looked like he was trying to protect Rozanov from Hayden.
“Are you defending Rozanov? From me?”
“Well, you’re the one who just attacked someone unprovoked so what am I supposed to do?” Shane snapped back.
Hayden gaped at Shane. “Unprovoked? You seriously thought I would just stand back and let someone talk like that? To you? Do you even know me, man?”
“I’m starting to feel like I don’t know you at all.”
Hayden wasn’t even sure what that meant, but he felt himself wilting under Shane’s glare. The anger that had been burning inside him cooled into a feeling of despair. His shoulders slumped.
“Is that why you didn’t tell me? You didn’t trust how I would react?”
Both Shane and Rozanov stared at Hayden like he was insane. “I was obviously correct that I couldn’t trust you.”
Hayden felt like maybe he was insane.
Hayden threw his hands up, tugging at his hair. “Oh my god, dude. I do not understand you at all. I have been trying for months now to show you I am supportive. I made our teammates stop the homophobic comments. I invited you to a gay bar. I put rainbow tape on my stick. I even made a post for pride month and showed it to you. Now I defend you and you still are acting like you can’t trust me. What else could I possibly do to support you?”
“Months?”
“Defend him?”
Shane and Rozanov spoke at the same time and Hayden felt like he has no idea what was happening. “Yes, months! I know you are gay, dude. We share a hotel room and you are not as slick as you think you are,” Hayden turned to Rozanov, “and yes, defend him. I come in here to you calling Shane a cocksucker, waiting until he’s alone so you can corner him. Looking like you’re going to pound on him.” He turned back to Shane. “You really think I’m going to let some bigoted piece of shit talk to you like that? All I want is you to understand that I will love you no matter who you love. Your friends, your family, your fans will love you. And I will personally come for anyone who makes you feel differently. Especially fucking Rozanov.”
Hayden was breathing heavily at the end of his rant. Shane looked like he’s barely breathing. And Rozanov–
For a second, Hayden thought Rozanov was actually crying. His head was down and his shoulders were trembling. But then he threw his head back and Hayden realized the asshole was laughing.
“Shane, you did not tell me worst player on team is also dumbest.” Rozanov pulled himself off the ground, his usual smug look back on his face. Hayden hated how unruffled he looked, even as he spit a glob of blood on the ground and held his side.
Rozanov put his hand on Shane’s shoulder. “Or maybe he is not so dumb. Pike is right, I was going to pound you,” he said with a wide grin, licking the blood off of his teeth.
Hayden stepped forward with a growl, “You motherfucker.”
Shane threw his arm up, stopping Hayden in his tracks, while he elbowed Rozanov–but clearly avoiding the spot Rozanov was already injured. “Ilya, stop, you are not helping.”
Rozanov only grinned wider, looking like the cat that caught the canary. “What? Pound is English expression for have sex, yes?”
Hayden blue-screened.
He stumbled back until he hit a locker, sliding down to the floor. It was like he could no longer support himself under the weight of the knowledge he was just given. Everything finally clicked into place.
Ilya Rozanov wasn’t being homophobic toward Shane.
He was being gay toward Shane.
“I- oh my god, I am going to be sick.” Hayden hoped the nausea was just from the influx of alarming information and not a concussion.
Shane clearly wasn’t faring better. He was staring at the ground and breathing raggedly. “Oh god, this is a nightmare. This can’t be happening. Oh fuck.”
Hayden watched in some combination of shock and horror as Rozanov- Ilya wrapped his arms around Shane’s waist and nuzzled into his neck. “Shh, it is okay, moya lyubov. Pike is stupid and piece of shit, but he is not, what he call, bigoted piece of shit. He will not tell.” Ilya pierced Hayden with a glare that said he would not like the consequences if he did tell.
Hayden scrambled to his feet, wincing as he realized Ilya had definitely bruised or cracked his ribs but pushing through the pain. He supposed he deserved it. He hadn’t even thought of how scary this must be for Shane. “Of course not. Dude, I would never do that to you. I don’t care that you are gay. I would never out you. I mean, okay, I maybe implied something to Jackie… but she would never tell anyone. I am happy for you. You deserve to be your true self. I just… Ilya Rozanov? Since when do you not hate the guy?”
“Since always, I guess.”
“Always? So this is serious?” another puzzle piece fell into place, “Is- is he Boston Lily?”
Shane hesitantly nodded back.
Hayden ran his hand over his face with a groan, wincing at the reminder of his broken nose. “Well, I guess I understand why you didn’t tell me. This is a lot to take in. But you have to know I would support you no matter what. I mean, how did you think I would react-” Hayden cut himself off with a gasp as he realized how this must have all looked to Shane. “Oh my god, you thought I was attacking Rozanov because he is gay! You thought I was hate crime-ing him!”
Shane hesitantly nodded back, although it looked like he was finally calming down. “I mean, you came in and beat the shit out of my boyfriend,” Hayden noticed how Ilya's eyes widened at that word and wondered if this was the first time either of them had put a label on their relationship, “and then called him disgusting. So it seemed like a logical conclusion.”
“No! It- He had you cornered you and was calling you a cocksucker! How was I supposed to know that was some sort of foreplay? What is wrong with gay people? I mean- obviously nothing is wrong with gay people! I’m just… I thought he was the one being homophobic, that’s what was disgusting. But obviously now I know he was not being disgusting. Well, it still was a little disgusting, but that’s just because it’s Rozanov, not because he’s a man. I… should probably stop talking. The point is I thought I was defending you!”
Ilya rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, you are very brave knight in shiny army,” he smirked, “I still beat you in fight, though.”
Hayden glared. “You did not! I had you pinned down.”
“Only because you fight dirty.”
“Oh yeah, because everyone knows Ilya Rozanov never fights dirty.”
“Guys, please.” They both shut their mouths at Shane’s tired voice.
Shane had finally calmed down, but now he just looked exhausted.
“Man, can I hug you?” Shane looked surprised at the request, but he nodded. Hayden rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Shane. He ignored the twinge of pain in his ribs and tried to ignore the fact Ilya still had his arms wrapped around Shane and this was basically a group hug. Ilya looked way more smug than he had any right to be.
“I’m so sorry how this went down. But I’ll always support you, okay? Even if you have terrible taste in men.” Shane finally released all of his tension and leaned into the hug.
Hayden just let himself hug his friend until Ilya interrupted. “So, not to ruin moment, but why are you here?”
Hayden jumped upright, away from Shane. “Fuck! I was supposed to get my wallet. I left it in my locker. The guys are probably all wondering where I am. And Jackie is going to be so pissed when she finds out I broke my nose again and it wasn’t even on the ice.”
“Do you need ride to doctor? I hit very hard.” Hayden wasn't surprised Ilya was taking the opportunity to brag about his fighting prowess, but he was surprised the offer seemed genuine.
Hayden rolled his eyes, but it was not with the usual contempt he has for Ilya Rozanov. “No, that’s alright. You didn’t hit me that hard.” He definitely had and Hayden knew he should probably go to urgent care, but he wasn’t about to let Rozanov know that. “We only have one day left in Boston; you two should spend it together. I’ll contact the team and let them know something came up and I won’t be able to make it. They’re probably all too drunk to care at this point. I’ll fix up my nose and I’ll make an excuse for you tomorrow so you two have longer together.”
“You'd really do that for us?”
"Of course, Shane. It's the least I can do after tonight. I can't say I necessarily understand this relationship, but I just want you to be happy. And I've seen how you look when you are texting Boston Lily. As sickening as it is to admit, Rozanov clearly makes you happy, so I'll support you two however I can."
Shane finally smiled and Hayden felt himself relax. Ilya, unsurprisingly, had a look of smug arrogance. Hayden couldn’t believe it, but he would take that look any day over the look of terror he had put on his face earlier, knowing what he knew now. He couldn’t imagine he would ever be a fan of Rozanov, but he’d be damned if he ever came in the way of his friend’s happiness again.
“But as soon as we are out of Boston, you are telling me everything."