Chapter Text
Why am I so nervous?
Eddie Munson drummed the steering wheel of his van as he clipped along Cornwallis Rd.. He had fulfilled his task of gathering snacks from the Big Buy downtown and was making his way at a not-so-law-abiding speed towards Steve Harrington’s house. The ex-jock had invited Eddie, Robin, and Nancy over to watch a movie. Steve’s parents had left him home alone for the twelfth weekend in the past four months; Eddie had some choice words for them. He couldn’t understand how two stable parents could leave their kid alone so often. Eddie would expect it of his dead-beat dad, but not the people who raised King Steve, the literal nicest, most clueless, yet no-nonsense and accidental babysitter around.
But Eddie had different issues at the moment than complaining about Steve’s parents. He sighed and shook his head as he made the now-familiar curve that took him away from the trailer park — his usual destination — and into Harrington’s upper middle class neighborhood. Eddie could feel his leg bouncing in anxious anticipation. After the incidents in March, where they had defeated Vecna and for the time being had made headway in repairing Hawkins, Eddie found himself in the company of Steve way more often. Perhaps it was that Steve drove Dustin to DND most Tuesdays. Maybe it was that Robin and Eddie had formed a sort of alliance with each other over their mutual “unnatural attractions” as the preacher had called it, and that meant seeing Steve just as frequently. Somewhere along the road to greater friendship, Eddie had realized that he was hopelessly, dead-to-rights in love with the bat-swinging badass. He blamed the shirtless, demo-bat biting moments from the upside down for planting seeds. He blamed Steve’s hair and warm brown eyes for watering them. And he blamed his own need for companionship for making the damn plant bloom. He had never been able to say no to a movie night, even though he usually missed half the movie in Steve’s side profile and shoulders. He wanted to be there, but the anxiety trip he had beforehand was making him question his life choices.
Just act natural, he berated himself as he turned onto the Harringtons’ street. Steve’s cool with you. You have fun every time. Just get over yourself. He fumbled with the cigarette in his shirt pocket. He knew he probably shouldn’t try to smoke and drive, but his nervous energy was driving him insane. He could finish it before entering the house and he had brought mints on the off chance he’d get close to anyone in particular. The fuck am I thinking? Eddie kicked himself, I'm not kissing anyone tonight… He sighed. Of course he wanted to, but he wasn’t going to be delusional.
He stopped half a block before getting to Steve’s house, parked, and finished his smoke. He rolled the window down so his clothes wouldn’t reek. He knew Robin hated his pastime, but she wasn’t his mom. At best, she was the cool wine aunt who owned a million cats. That didn’t stop her from taking his cigarettes away any chance she got though. As he smoked, Eddie thought, fiddling his rings with his thumb. You go in, you watch the movie, have fun, make a night of it, and leave. Wayne’s home tonight so you gotta be there by midnight. Eddie tapped the ashes out the window. Just breathe.
Once his cigarette had died, he pulled his van forward and parked on the street near Steve’s big house. The lights were on and cast a warm inviting glow. Eddie hopped out of the van, and hiked his ripped black jeans up a bit and adjusted his black tee. It was nearly October, so the air was brisk, but Eddie didn't care. He would wear the same thing if it was hot or cold out: his leather jacket with the broken zipper he had tried to fix, and his new battle vest that he had started. He had lost the other one in the upside down, or more accurately, he had given it to Steve and never gotten it back. He figured that Steve had left it somewhere while they were on the run and he had tried not to mourn the loss too much. It was his Dio one though, which meant a lot. Wayne had helped him learn to sew so he could attach the patches. And he remembered the day he found the tshirt for the back patch at the local thrift store three towns over. But there were bigger things in Hawkins than losing his battle vest, even if it still stung.
Eddie grabbed the bag of snacks and trotted across the lawn to the front door. He popped a mint, took a deep breath in, and raised his hand to knock.
Before he could follow through though, the door opened. Steve Harrington stood in the doorway, grinning openly, leaning casually with his hand against the door frame. His hair had a life of its own, a bit more unkempt than usual, and longer. It still defied gravity though. Steve beamed “Hey man! You’re here!”
Eddie blinked and hoped it was dark enough that he wasn’t caught blushing. “Yup… said I would be.”
“And you brought snacks,” Steve gestured to the paper bag under Eddie’s arm.
Eddie patted the bag and laughed a little. “Yeah! They totally scammed me for the chips, but what can you do?”
Steve laughed a little forcefully at the joke and rolled his eyes. “Come on in.”
Eddie followed Steve inside, chucking his hightops off at the door and kicking them over by the other, neatly lined up shoes.
Steve lingered, waiting for Eddie, his hands shoved into his back pockets. He casually kicked his stocking toe against the parquet flooring.
Eddie couldn’t focus on much beyond Steve’s eyes that gazed at him and then looked down and away.
The duo walked towards the back of the house, following the sounds of casual conversation and laughter.
“Finally! What took you so long?” Robin jumped up from her seat on the couch, her oversized button up flapping, and hugged Eddie. She pulled back with a slight frown and raised eyebrow. “You’ve been smoking again.”
“And you’re not my mom,” Eddie shot back. “Good to see you too.”
Robin rolled her eyes and ruffled Eddie’s chaotic hair.
Nancy waved from her little curled up spot on the couch opposite to where Robin had been. “Hey.”
“Wheeler,” Eddie waved back. He and Nancy knew each other mostly through Mike being part of the Hellfire Club, but she didn’t hang out with their crew very often. There was a tension between her and Steve, and Eddie had insider information that Robin was desperately in love with her, which complicated things.
“So, you’re trying to stop smoking?” Steve came up behind Eddie, handing him an open can of beer.
Eddie took the beer and looked away. “Um, yeah… sort of.”
“I have corrupted him for good,” Robin announced proudly.
Steve nodded, pursing his lips a little. “Good for you. It’s hard. Been there.”
“You smoked?” Eddie’s eyes shot to Steve’s face and found his hazel-brown eyes staring into his own.
“Not religiously, but yeah. I experimented in middle school and high school. Ran with a different crowd then and they… well, let’s just say they weren’t the best of friends.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway… hey… are you still dealing?”
“Steve!” Nancy shot at him, her face unreadable.
“What? Eddie’s been cleared, and weed’s chill… I doubt Hopper would be fond of him still dealing, especially with Will being his kid now AND part of Hellfire, but whatever...”
Eddie frowned. He hadn’t sold much in the way of drugs since Chrissy. It was too triggering. Plus, Steve was right; Hopper had stuck his neck out for Eddie after hearing how he had saved the crew from the demobats and heard the whole story about Chrissy from Eddie. So he had to play a low profile.
“I don’t really deal anymore… I’m nursing my personal supply until it’s out. What’s it to you, Harrington?”
Steve stopped mid-sentence to Nancy. “Uh, oh, uh… well, I just was wondering…”
“You need some or something, big boy?”
“Guys, come on. I have a test tomorrow, can we start the movie please?” Nancy was desperate to change the subject.
Steve stood a bit slack-jawed trying to figure out how to answer Eddie's question and landed on a very quiet, very mumbled, “For sleep… never mind, forget it.”
As the four of them filed into the living room, Eddie leaned in, hoping his breath didn’t reek of smoke. “Aww, I’m flattered, Steve. Coming to me to help you sleep.”
Steve snorted and muttered, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I said forget it.”
“I’ll see what I can get you,” Eddie nudged his arm with his elbow, and pulled back almost immediately.
Steve blinked, wide-eyed, and subtly smiled. He smelled a bit like cologne, mixed with beer.
Eddie found it intoxicating. He chugged down a swing of his beer, hoping it would help him calm down.
Robin reached over to grab the VHS that sat on the TV console. “Ok, who picked this?” She held up a very new version of The Breakfast Club. “Nance?”
“Not me, I don’t work at the video rental store…” Nancy gave her hands a very knowing look as she pulled her lips into her mouth, eyebrows raised.
Robin’s eyes snapped to Steve, who had frozen by the arm of the couch. “Oh my god… Steve, you didn’t!” Her eyes were wide.
Steve smirked and plopped down in the middle of the couch and crossed his legs. “What… I can’t pick a new movie? That just came out on VHS!”
“Steve, we talked about this!”
The ex-jock stared blankly, clearly forgetting something.
“Molly Ringwald…”
“OH! Shit…” Steve ran a hand over his face, laughing. “Robin, get over yourself, it’s fine!”
Eddie cocked his head and tentatively took the spot to the left of Steve, closer to the door, and let his legs spread as he tucked his feet up. “What’s wrong with Molly Rin–”
“Eddie…” Robin’s tone was cautionary, as if to warn him to keep his mouth shut.
It clicked in his brain the instant he saw the look in Robin’s eyes. Gay crush. Oh shit, you’re worried about Nancy… she doesnt know you’re gay, does she…
“We can watch something else,” Nancy offered meekly, “I’m sure Steve’s got something else lying around right?”
“Uhhhh,” Steve shot up and started rummaging around in the oak cabinet to the left of the console. “Nope, nothing… all my VHSes are boring, and we are not looking through the family photos in here, so…. There, yeah…”
Eddie’s heart melted a little. “What, we can’t see pictures of Prince Steve? Before he became king?”
Robin and Nancy giggled a little.
“Ha Ha, very funny, Munson,” Steve rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips again. “Let’s just watch Breakfast Club, ok? You can… groan over Molly Ringwald’s presence… to Nancy, huh?”
Robin shot daggers at him with her eyes. “I will murder you.”
So Steve knows… interesting. Eddie filed that away. He had suspected that Steve knew that Robin was gay, but he had never been brave enough to confirm it. But, he guessed, it was pretty clear seeing as Steve was literally pushing Robin towards the spot on the loveseat next to Nancy, who scooted to accommodate.
Steve popped the VHS in and turned the console on. Once the opening credits were rolling, he plopped back down, a little too close to Eddie, and brushed elbows with him. “Sorry,” he whispered and turned his attention back to the screen, but didn’t move away.
Eddie smiled the tiniest bit and took another sip of beer. Fuck, I want to kiss him… Eddie couldn’t help but look at Steve’s profile. It was unfairly perfect. It made Eddie mad actually. How could someone so clueless be so hot? Could I kiss him?
The four friends, paired off oddly perfectly, each to their own couch, watched the movie. They interjected the occasional comment or laugh as needed. Everyone immediately likened Judd Nelson’s John Bender to Eddie on the merit of looks alone. Robin and Nancy teased Steve into being a combo of Emilio Estavez’s Andrew and Anthony Micheal Hall’s Brian, the jock and the preppy nerd combined. He took said teasing in stride, and waved them off. Robin boldly claimed the basketcase label, and Nancy begrudgingly accepted the princess title, a little blush on her face as Robin bowed to her at one point.
Eddie caught Steve’s smile at the two girls and it warmed his heart as well as drove him crazy. Steve is oddly supportive… There’s no way he’s actually more than an ally right? He questioned his sanity when Steve made the casual comment during the dance scene in the library that he wouldn't mind being grinded up on by Judd Nelson. Hope bloomed in his chest, and Eddie found him being more overt with his appreciation for the male cast, visually.
After a little while of silently watching, Steve leaned over a little to Eddie. “You want another beer?” Steve whispered.
“What? No, I’m good…” Eddie blinked as he got snapped back to reality and not the movie.
“You good?” Steve smirked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re zoning out… Chill, man, no sweat,” He stood up as he affectionately patted Eddie’s knee.
Eddie almost jumped through the roof at the touch and felt his body come alive.
Steve wandered off to the kitchen, clueless as ever.
Eddie hopelessly glanced at the girls and saw that Nancy had cuddled her way into Robin’s arms. Robin looked about ready to burst. She glanced at Eddie and shrugged, but he couldn’t tell if she had seen his interaction, or if she was unsure as to how she had gotten her girl crush to cuddle with her. Eddie felt his heart sinking a little in wistful longing. Eddie wanted Steve in every imaginable way, wanted to hold him close, and kiss him, and more. But he had no real idea of how Steve felt.
The night dragged on with the movie. Steve came back with water for each of them. Eddie almost forgot about Steve’s presence when the crew opened up about their feelings and struggles, and made pacts to see each other again even if they didn’t blend well on paper. Eddie smirked to himself as he watched Robin’s head drop onto Nancy’s as the two girls fell asleep. Robin would kill Eddie or Steve tomorrow morning for letting her fall asleep with Nancy, but who cared? Honestly, Eddie was more concerned about how close Steve was to him. The beer had loosened him enough to not try stopping the thoughts he harbored about Steve’s lips. It had been all night he was stealing glances, but Eddie could not move. Not yet anyway.
The two guys slouched alone on the couch as the credits began to roll and they were staring at the black screen, or at least Steve was.
Eddie was staring at Steve's lips again. Just try it…
Steve turned his head. “So whatcha think?”
“Decent. Not entirely my thing, but I can dig it.”
“Right… let me guess, you’re more of a horror film guy?”
“Close. Thriller and fantasy.” Eddie breathed out, his restless mind trying to find a way in.
Their eyes locked as they both tried to start speaking. Steve chuckled. “You want something to eat? Or… shit, it’s almost mid–”
Eddie cut him off, feeling his adrenaline ramping up. “Sorry, I've been wanting to try something for a while now, just... uh...." Quickly, he leaned over the small space between them and kissed Steve, full on the mouth. Instant fireworks shot off in his brain and he melted a little, placing a hand on Steve’s cheek. He closed his eyes and pressed in, heart pounding in his ears.
Steve jumped at the sudden kiss, and in shock, found he couldn't make his mouth kiss back, at least not right away. His brain was malfunctioning and all he could do was sit there, frozen and awkward. His heart was racing though, and he found that he wanted more…
Exactly a split second later though, Eddie felt the jolt from Steve and the lack of passion returned. He didn’t kiss back. Eddie’s stomach dropped into his feet. A chill ran through him and Eddie forcefully jumped back as if someone had pushed him.
"I-I-I'm sorry! Shit, man... I shouldn't have done that!!..." He bolted up, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He rushed to the door, not looking back, ignoring Steve’s confused stares.
“Wa-wait, Eddie!! Hey!” Steve’s voice echoed weakly behind him, shock filling his voice.
Eddie didn’t stay. Go. Just Go. He just grabbed his shoes, didn't bother putting them on, and trotted back across the lawn. His feet were damp from the grass as he slid into his van and revved it up.
“Eddie!!” Steve stood in the front yard, barefoot too, yelling as Eddie peeled out. “Wait!”
Eddie ignored him. His shame engulfed him. I'm so stupid, this is stupid, it’s so stupid… He berated himself on a loop until he reached home. All he could think about was how amazing Steve had tasted. And how completely and totally he, Eddie Munson, had ruined this entire thing by being selfish. He parked in the trailer park, in front of his and Wayne’s new place, and slammed the van door shut. He swore to the stars and kicked a can before letting tears run down his face. He vowed to keep this quiet, to not talk about it. He prayed Steve would do the same.