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"I feel like I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, you know?"
Shane grimaces, more from the conversation than the stretch he's putting his hamstrings through. "Rose," he says, "come on."
"What?"
"You're not doing anything wrong, Ted's just an asshole."
"Ooh, someone's not beating the jealous ex accusations," Rose says, and Shane scowls at his phone. At this point, their friendship has outlasted their actual relationship and he's familiar enough with her usual tone and cadence that he knows she is genuinely bothered by the subject they're on. "But seriously, something is wrong and I just can't put my finger on it - it's not the sex –"
"Yeah, it is, actually." Oops. He hadn't actually meant to say that. Not here, at least. Shane doesn't mind Rose talking about her sex life, now that he isn't in it. It's a nice way to tell she feels comfortable with him. That they're actually the close (best) friends she says they are. She trusts him.
"What?"
"Look, I'm still at the gym, we can talk about this later?" He tries, shifting positions on the mat while looking furtively around. Two of his teammates are close by, but they both have headphones in.
"Uh, no - you never have colour commentary, come on."
"I don't," Shane stutters, breathing deep through his next stretch. "I don't want it to sound like - "
"Just say it and we'll workshop it," Rose interrupts.
Smiling helplessly through a wave of fondness, Shane says, "I don't care that you tell me about your sex life, but lately all the sex you have is make up sex. Do better."
The silence on that one lingers. Rose, who started the conversation saying she needed a distraction while finally re-organizing her closets has stopped shuffling around. "Fuck off." She doesn't say it like 'shut up.' Because if she wanted him to drop it, she would just change the subject. Shane knows that about her by now. Rose, like him, isn't subtle and doesn't like to be.
"You're sick of sunny side up eggs because Ted only makes them after he yells at you. Uh - I hope you disinfected the kitchen table, by the way. It's gross you would eat on it after. Anyway - you said he got mad after the awards show last week, like you could control LA traffic, but he ate you out for like, an hour that night. Congratulations, by the way, I liked your speech."
"Thanks - you saw it?"
"Yeah, of course," Shane says. Duh. He got the entertainment channels now just to see her win awards. Even Ilya will record them for him if he's going to be away.
Rose sighs, gusty and loud. "I just don't want to over react - maybe we're in a slump?"
"But like - You're the one who said, we dated for 2 months and we didn't fall in love but that wasn't because we didn't like each other." Meeting Rose had been like stepping on the ice with a new liney and instantly knowing they would work. Hockey magic. It'd been the second time he'd felt such instant and immediate chemistry with someone. Shane doesn't know how to say this next bit gently, so he just says it. "Rose, you can't love him."
"Well yeah, it's only been like 8 months."
"You're not going to fall in love with him, you don't even like this guy!"
"How do you know that!"
"Because every time you're together, you fight and then you fuck." And Rose doesn't like to fight. Shane hadn't appreciated the restaurant ambush, but he understands by now that she will always take a risky conversation somewhere where it would be disadvantageous to make a scene, or spill; Like a restaurant, or a trailer on set, surrounded by professionals who signed NDAs (Apparently, crew members who get reputations as blabber-mouths don't last long, no matter how good they are or short-staffed a movie is.) Rather than have a actual-anger voices-raised-fight about something.
"We're both working so much, I think is the issue. He's on set, or I am, so we make the most of when we see each other."
"And that's making the most of it?" Shane tries, he does, to sound less judgy than he feels. He doesn't try very hard.
Rose groans, noisy and obnoxious. Sometimes it was so obvious she was the youngest of her family. "God. I have to break up with him, don't I?"
"Yeah." He pulls out of his stretch, laughing softly. "Besides, didn't you say he hates me? For like, no reason?"
"Yeah. Ugh. I hate that you were the one to tell me that, Shane Hollander."
glad they aren't video chatting, Shane lets himself grin, smug. "Feels weird to have someone tell you something about yourself that should be obvious, huh?"
"...Are you seriously thinking you tied up the score here? You can't win a friendship, Shane! It's not 1-1 now!"
"Sure it's not."
"You still see Rose?" Jackie comments, not idly. There's a hint there, a mild one, given the way her eyes haven't left her phone screen.
Shane knows what she's looking at, too.
An after party for the awards show Rose had taken Shane to as her plus one. It was a couple weeks ago, but the series of pictures had only popped up recently. They're nice pictures, actually. Shane usually hates his own media, but these are candid - they're sitting on a couch in some director's sunken living room, Rose is curled against the armrest, facing him and gesturing with her drink, mid-story. Shane is sitting sideways to face her, looking intent. He's got a can of pop cupped between his hands.
The next picture has him sitting upright, elbows on his knees pointing into nothing with Rose very clearly agreeing with him.
Rose re-posted them this morning with the caption 'It's always two drunk bitches telling each other exactlyyyy'
Shane, helpless but to follow through on his own bet commented back, 'No yeah, for sure. I'm always saying this.' Shane hates losing bets. He hates more that Rose knows to bet him publicity stunts because it's about the only way he will actually use Instagram or Twitter.
Rose responded in the comments, rather than texting, 'do you remember what we were talking about?' She was giving him the room to share if he wanted, or to let get a head of the comments stating they were back together.
'We were ranking the threat responses. You're still wrong - fawn IS the worst one.'
'i'll fight you shane hollander'
'And that's why fight is #1.'
Naturally, their exchange had blown up and Shane then had to deal with reporters asking about how his personal life was affecting his game, and his mother making pointed comments about focus, and his boyfriend being so jealous…
Well. He doesn't have to deal with Ilya being jealous, he gets to reap the rewards of Ilya being jealous. So. That's nice.
Here and now, he doesn't bother looking up from the colouring page he's sharing with Jade. "Yeah, sometimes. She's a good friend."
Jackie hums, "She must be - it's nice you have someone else to have silly arguments with. But Hayden is going to be heartbroken if you don't share your ranking with him."
Ruby hands him a red crayon with the solemnity of handing him a crown.
Taking it with an equal amount of weight Shane slowly starts on the heart in the center of the page. "You know," he clears his throat. "Rose is going to be in town this weekend. You wanted to meet her, right?"
Jackie fumbles her phone. "What? Really?" and Shane hides a smile.
She'd been quiet about him dating Rose. Like, really quiet. Enough to make Shane unsure, jumpy, like she knew what he was trying to hide even from himself. In the end, though Jackie had broken down and confessed "I just can't ask you about it, because if I ask I'm going to be so unbearably uncool and I'm already rocking the mom-jeans and yoga classes and I just can't be that uncool friend who freaks out about you dating a movie star, okay?"
"Hey," Shane said, "I think maybe you're allowed to be uncool, with your friends? Like, I'm never cool."
"What-ever, Shane, you're like, the coolest guy I know. Nothing throws you. You saw me and was like 'Stay at home mom with 3.5 kids? Sure, let's be friends,' which is more than…whatever. I'm just like. I don't want you to think I only want to hang out with you 'cause you're dating a movie star!"
"Did you know I was going to date a movie star 3.5 kids ago?"
"No?"
"Right. And I'm not psychic, so."
"Well, not that you've told me," Jackie grumbled. "You'd see how uncool I could be and then what?"
Here and now, he takes a second to tease. "I'll text her. You could finally ask for that autograph?"
"So Rose Landry can think I'm not cool?" Jackie huffs, "Maybe I'll make her drink the wine you brought over like, 5 years ago."
"You still have that?"
"It's cute you think I'm a wine mom."
"Unfortunately I know exactly how much tequila it takes for you to make one of these monsters." Shane shoots back, and then bites his lip. "I mean -"
"Was it less or more than you expected?"
Relaxing back, Shane smiles back at her. "What answer is going to make you feel cooler?"
Coming out to the Pike's was not the plan for the evening.
It wasn't even in the top 10 list.
And yet, here Shane is, sitting on their living room floor, having fought Rose Landry to get his phone back, and making a Face. He knows he is making a face, he can feel his forehead scrunching and his jaw aching and he can do nothing about it except wait for -
"So who's Lily?!"
Fuck.
Rose doesn't even know how they got on this topic, to be so fair. One second they were talking about Hayden's potty mouth and how he got fined in his early days heavy enough he had to borrow money for groceries, and the next she's asking Shane if he kept any of the nudes she sent him while they were together.
Shane blinks. He's had one and a half beers, which is enough to get him flushed and relaxed enough to let down his walls a bit. "Oh shoot - yeah I think so? They're in a locked folder, I think?"
"You think?"
"I haven't really checked it lately?" He winces, and she does him the favour of rolling her eyes at him to let him know it's not a big deal.
"Oh, you haven't needed them?"
"Rose! I wouldn't -" Shane fumbles, and throws a glance toward Hayden and Jackie. Just a small one. Enough for her to know they don't know the reason she really broke up with him. "I wouldn't look at them now!"
"God, you're too cute." Rose sighs. Honestly though, she's pretty grateful they broke up on such good terms and would be just as grateful if he was bi, or straight. They're way too similar in a lot of ways to have worked out, long term, but if there had been any sexual spark, she knows just as well they would have both yes-and-ed the relationship into the ground.
A buzz from the table reminds her - "Oh, hey, can I delete those pictures?"
"Wh - Sure, I can -"
"No, I mean. Can I delete them? I trust you - but, you know." There are worlds where Rose could have just trusted someone to delete a picture she asked them to. And then there was this one, where her PR team has more than once had to shell out stupid money because some asshole got an up-skirt they tried to sell to TMZ.
"Oh, yeah, no, Rose, absolutely. Sorry." Shane thumbs open his phone and she watches him have to remember where his locked folder is before he taps in the pass code. "I should have thought of that."
"Refills, anyone?" Jackie interrupts, gentle but pointed.
Perhaps unkindly, Rose wonders if her overdeveloped sense of diplomacy is due to her 4 children, or being a career WAG. She likes Jackie, so far. The woman throws a top notch dinner party, for one, and more than that, Shane is so clearly a beloved part of their family. But she's been doing that all evening. Stepping in to redirect conversation whenever one or both of them even hints at their break up.
At this point, Rose isn't sure if Jackie hates her for allegedly breaking Shane's heart, or is holding out hope they'll get back together.
"Please, this rosé is killer, you have to tell me where you got it," Rose makes to get up, but Shane waves her back, plucking her glass out of her hand.
Ugh. He really is too cute.
"But if I don't tell you, then you have to come over for more," Jackie beams.
Okay - so maybe Jackie doesn't hate her? God, it would be so nice to have a normal girlfriend. Rose has a few friends from theatre school who still text, sometimes, a few former cast mates who meet up for brunch, and other industry connections. But really, everyone Rose knows outside her immediate family are all career-girls like her. Not a bad thing, but it makes getting together into a scheduling nightmare and so many conversations become about BTS shit and work. Always work.
"I'd really like that," Rose says seriously, before setting to her task.
It shouldn't take long, they only dated for 3ish months, and to be so honest, Shane is a bad sexter. He's great at showing up, and doing the work. They had the exclusivity talk in week 2 of non-stop texting, the DtR talk a week after that, what was cool for PDA and what wasn't. All of the Couples Conversations that had been like pulling teeth in other relationships.
It sticks out to her now that Shane never called her sexy. He'd tell her she was beautiful, gorgeous, that she looked perfect. But never that she made him hard, or he couldn't wait to touch her. God, she had thought it was so romantic, at the time.
Admittedly, the chivalry did get her off. Shane Hollander seeing the filthiest thirst traps and nudes she could send and telling her she was perfect?
Slip'n'slide weather. Honestly.
And man, did she send some good nudes. For a second, Rose considers sending them to herself, but re-using nudes is beneath her and while she might be in a profession prone to attracting them, she herself is not a narcissist.
Delete. Delete. Delete. Oh - reminder, she should get a new set of lingerie, the wire poked right through the cup on that one. Delete.
Dick pic.
Rose hears herself honest to god squeak and slams Shane's phone against her chest.
Oh fuck. Oh. Wow. Wow. Fuck.
"Oh my god."
Shane's face is bloodless. "Rose?" He hovers between the kitchen and living room like he can't make himself move.
"Holy shit!" She can't stop herself. She won't look again, but she doesn't need to, because that picture is going to be burned into her brain for all eternity. "You're seeing someone?" The picture had been after the last nude she remembered sending. This is new. Or recent. Very recent, if Shane hasn't gone back to look at it yet.
"I am so sorry - you shouldn't have - I forgot -" Shane stutters.
"No, I'm so sorry - I shouldn't have seen that but oh my god! That's!" Rose needs to impress on him how amazing the picture she just saw was. "Do you have any idea what my DMs look like? I am like an expert in thirst traps, okay? And that is a S tier -" She doesn't say nude. For whatever reason, that feels like crossing a line in mixed company. "thirst trap. I'm flustered! Shane! Do you know how good a thirst trap has to be to fluster me?"
The amount of high vis, badly angled, poorly lit, unflattering dicks Rose has seen in her life is too many to mention.
The picture in Shane's locked folder is a fucking work of art.
It's from lips to thighs, ending just above the guy's knees. Rose has no idea how the guy got the shot, but who fucking cares. His plush pink lips are open on a gasp? Moan? The low warm light creates shadows in the cut creases of his muscles and catches on the sweat on his chest and the glisten of come on his abs, rolling down his still-hard cock and over his knuckles where he holds himself out like offering a fucking treat.
And his dick is… well. Pretty. Big. Uncut, which Rose didn't know was a turn on for her til just this minute.
"And that's yours?" Not the words she wanted but out they came. "I mean. That. You." Oh god that's not better.
It's not her fault, between re-shoots and award shows and pre-shoot training and the shooting schedule itself she hasn't gotten an orgasm from anything without batteries in months. She becomes aware that she's squeezing her thighs together just as Shane clocks it with the filthiest look she'd ever seen him give anyone off the ice.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me you were seeing anyone," Rose jumps the gun before he can start.
"I'm," Shane looks caught. "Can we not? Do this?"
"We don't have to," Jackie jumps in, and Shane's shoulders relax just a bit before she continues, "Although, if you are seeing someone, I'd be happy for you. And it would explain why you never let me set you up with anyone."
"We absolutely do." Rose disagrees immediately. And feels only a little bad at the way Shane scowls. "What? I tell you everything!"
"I literally didn't ask," Shane nearly snaps, which make her hosts give each other one of those Telepathic Couple Looks.
Rose makes sure to laugh a little too loud, to try and offset some of the creeping tension. Truthfully, she loves it when Shane is a bit of a bitch with her. Shane being a bit of a bitch with her was her first sign he was actually comfortable with her. That they could really be as close as she so badly wanted them to be after just meeting him. "Literally shut your mouth, if you didn't want to know you would make that so obvious."
"I'm not obvious," Shane pouts, and Hayden crows.
"Dude - you are the most obvious sometimes."
"See! And I get if it's new and you don't wanna jinx it," she says.
"It's. Complicated." Shane grits out. "Give me my phone back."
Oh, right. Abruptly Rose remembers how to move and, making sure the screen is off, tosses Shane's phone back to him. She throws it a little short, and winces.
He catches it without blinking, the jerk. He could at least pretend to fumble. "How complicated?" Rose wheedles, thinking of coworkers sneaking in and out of each other's dressing rooms. Of the directors texting their editors, their wives, their mistresses, with one hand on a PA's ass. Of house parties turned into bacchanal mixes of alcohol and drugs and flesh.
Admittedly, she liked her image too much to be caught at one. Secretly, she'd always wanted to stay.
"Like," Hayden mutters, sly, "a six year situationship complicated?"
Shane whips his head up from where he was furiously texting, eyes wide. "Shut the fuck up, man!"
"Shane Hollander!" Jackie's Disappointed Mom voice cracks like a whip. "Swear jar!"
"Is it Boston Lily?" Hayden says, smacking the back of the couch. "Man, good for you!"
"Boston Lily?" Rose can't help but laugh. She chokes on it, though, as Shane raises the glass of rosé he was bringing to her and drains it in one long swallow.
Okay. Well. Apparently Rose has more in common with her gay ex-boyfriend than even she knew.
"Yeah," Hayden does not shut the fuck up, unbothered by the threat, completely at ease gossiping about Shane right in front of him. "This guy's been texting her for years. Not!" He stops himself, eyes going wide as his wife taps his arm, hissing his name under her breath. "Uh, not while you were together. He wouldn't do that."
"Duh." Rose can't help it. Who in their right mind would think that Shane Hollander would cheat? Certified golden retriever boyfriend, bestest boy, Canada's golden son, Shane Hollander. "Years?"
"It was complicated, and it still is." Shane starts to retreat to the kitchen, only to have Jackie pluck the now empty glass from him.
Rose licks her lips.
She wasn't even supposed to be here tonight.
But there was an abrupt break in filming her latest shoot, her co-star was being a cunt of the highest calibre and demanding re-writes or he wouldn't continue and at last contact from her agent, it sounded like the studio lawyers were about to get involved. So she texted Shane, What's a girl to do on a lonely night in Montreal?
And after a flurry of question marks and some pearl clutching (Oh my god. Rose, you can't text me things like that!) he admitted he already had plans, a dinner night in with his alternate captain, who Rose had met once, in passing, and the man's wife. A rare event during the season where the team had two days off over a weekend, so their 4 kids could go to a grandparents house, apparently.
Politely, Rose had said that sounded lovely and told him to enjoy himself.
Impolitely she then sent: FOUR?
Shane reacted with a cry-laughing emoji.
I know.
I don't even know if I want one, tbh
I do, maybe not four, ha ha. But, after?
When is after for you though?
….
………
Hey, if you still want to do something, Jackie says you're welcome to join for dinner? Sorry, I don't know if that's weird.
Not weird! That's really nice, actually
And they're your friends?
Like - friends-friends
not just 'we work together' friends
Yeah, they're good people. I think you'll like Jackie, she's super down to Earth.
And there it was. Jackie was super down to Earth - Rose's movies hadn't gotten brought up once. Dinner was great, clearly home made and fucking delicious - in her meal plan, too, 'cause with Shane there it was all whole grains and lean, plant based proteins. The conversation flowed easily between hockey and scheduling, silly 'how was your day' anecdotes.
It was nice. Has been, is, nice. None of that get-to-know-you waffling, as the Pikes had clearly decided that Rose was vetted by Shane and therefore allowed to join in the fun. The fun being bitching about life and gently ribbing Shane at every opportunity.
"So. Feel free to say no. Absolutely you can tell me to fuck off at any time. But." Rose usually so put together, felt herself flushing. "Can I just take one more look? Just one! I need to confirm something. About myself."
"What the hell - Rose, no!"
"Just one more!" Rose whines, "I've already seen it!"
"Fucks sake. I'll. Ask." Shane stutters.
Hayden watches him pace back and forth, attention fully on his phone and eventually ventures, "So… Lily?" While handing her the refill Shane was supposed to be getting her. But, fair's fair - he's a little busy at the moment.
"I thought you didn't care?" Shane snips, scowling at his screen. That sounds like a story, definitely sounds like something based on the way Hayden holds his hands up in the universal 'don't shoot' gesture. "Fuck. Here."
Hayden turns away, which is so funny and also so nice of him when he is so clearly actually dying of curiosity.
And. Yup. That's just what she suspected.
The shadow of the open mouth, curled a little at the corner like he guy caught her looking, has a missing incisor. A gaped, snaggle-toothed, exhausted, satisfied smirk.
"Fuck that's hot," Rose says helplessly. Closing the app because she's a woman of her word but keeping the now buzzing phone pressed against her pounding heart. "Yeah, okay. Wow. Learned something about myself."
"I feel like I should be offended," Shane says, sounding anything but. "I think this is the most turned on I've ever seen you."
"You should be proud, actually. You should be smug. You should be on cloud god damned 9." Rose takes a deep drink of the wine she should be savouring and more than reluctantly, hands the phone to Hayden, who treats it like a bomb when handing it back to Shane. "It's the," she gestures to her own mouth, quickly.
Shane boggles at her. "Really?"
"Yes!" Rose nods, too hot under the collar and miserable with it to be embarrassed.
"Really?"
"Shut up! Maybe if you weren't so stupid perfect for a hockey player I would have known that already. God."
"Rose, you gotta tell me something." Hayden begs.
"No, she doesn't," Shane puts in.
"I don't need details, but c'mon - chicks can tell when another chick is hot. So - Lily. Based on -" He made a sweeping gesture to where she was near boneless against the side of the couch. "Absolute rocket, am I right?"
"Oh my god, you're such a dude," Rose laughs. "But, yeah."
"Don't call women chicks," Shane says, at the same time as Jackie makes a gagging sound.
"I fu - freaking knew it!" Hayden pumped an arm up. "What's she like?"
"Dude, shut up!"
Quickly, Hayden swats at the air, like shooing a fly. "Not like that - but like, c'mon man. Give me something, it's been years with this girl and I don't know anything about her."
"Nothing physical?" Rose checks with Shane, who is looking more and more like he would like the ground to swallow him whole. "What if I just give vibes?"
The thing is, Shane is dying to talk about this. The only reason Rose overshares at all is because he is so clearly desperate to have someone to talk to about sex. The little quips he makes about his preferences and hints he toes around make that clear as day. The last awards show he accompanied her to, one of her friends was talking about her dog's tricks and how her dog knew to sit pretty, bow all the way down, and then crawl for a treat, and Shane leaned over to whisper, 'So do I, she's not special.'
"Vibes?" Shane repeats, like he isn't sure what she means.
Rose hopes that's it, anyway, and not Shane's way of telling her it's a dumb fucking idea. "Like when we play Yes or No."
Jackie offers him another glass and he downs it without missing a beat.
"Okay!" Shane relents. "Sure. Yes or No."
"Okay!" Rose grins. Explains Yes-or-No quickly to her captive audience. It was a little like Never Have I Ever and a little like Truth or Drink except you only had to explain anything if you wanted to. A different co-star at a different party had a little too much what-ever-it-was and had described a threesome he'd had which had led Rose to whisper, 'I don't think I could ever be turned on by someone slapping me in the face, no offense.' and Shane, quickly, took a sip of his drink, avoiding her eyes. Telling on himself. They'd ironed out the rules as they went but it was the easiest way for Shane to talk about what he was actually into without collapsing into a blushing mess. "Intense."
"Yes." Shane hides his very red face behind the new glass Jackie handed him. Not Rose's this time.
"Bold," Rose teases, thinking of the grip the man had on himself.
"Yes."
"Gentle?" It's a gambit.
"Sometimes." Oh, well then. His phone buzzes again and he glances at the screen, grimacing.
There's a lot about acting that is actually about reacting. About making choices. About pressing. "Gentle as a preference?"
One of the things she loves about Shane is that he so rarely blinks. He doesn't back down. A part of Rose wishes she knew how much he liked to be pressed when they were dating. A larger part is glad she didn't. Rose knows herself too well.
"Clarify?" Buzz-Bzz.
"As in, you prefer it to be gentle."
Slowly, Shane raised his glass on a sip.
"Oh my god!" It's not that it's new information, but the confirmation is a lot. "You know you could have told me that when we were -"
"Shut the fuck up," Shane rolls his eyes, looser now, a small smile tugging at the corner of his very serious mouth. "You didn't even like pulling my hair." Buzz-Bzz. Buzz-Bzz. Buzz-Bzz.
"It feels rude!"
Buzz-Bzz.
Jackie hoots, collapsing behind her husband and shaking him. "You owe me - just so much money, babe."
"Since when?"
"Since it's always the quiet ones. I have said that for years," Jackie says, twisting to look at Shane, who is now tugging at his eyelashes. "This is why I wanted to set you up with Sindy - S-I-N-D-Y, and she lives up to her name, let me tell you."
Shane's phone finally shuts up.
"Jesus Christ," he says.
Rose kind of wants to take pity on him, but she wants to know more. "So what does Lily say?"
"I really don't want to talk about it," Shane winces.
"You so do!"
"Okay, Rose." Shit, now Hayden was stepping in. "This is already more than Shane has ever voluntarily shared with me. He gets embarrassed when I talk about jacking off in the hotel room."
"That's gross, Hayden!"
"I get that, but that's not it. It's okay to talk about. You can talk about it! And I need to talk about that picture! This is a safe space, like when I told you how I upchucked on my boyfriend the first time I tried to give a blowjob and the school called me Hose Landry for the rest of 11th grade."
"Oh my god, I am so sorry," Jackie's hand flew to her mouth and Hayden's lips disappeared as he tried to keep from laughing.
"No, it's like, so funny now!" Happily, she re-told the story. Going to her first house party in sophomore year, drinking too much, trying to fit in, insisting on fooling around with her then-boyfriend when she got home and pushing too-far-too-fast. "And it wasn't just a little like, gag, urk and we're done. It was everything."
"First times are supposed to suck, though - it's like. A rule." Hayden nods. "I was so fucking dumb, two pumps into the condom and asking my girlfriend, was it good for you?"
Jackie was too busy laughing to call him out on the swear jar. "I love that story."
"And she wouldn't even let me like, help her out after! I was so bad," Hayden shakes his head. "Thank god I got this mouth, is all I can say."
"It helps that you're pretty," Jackie croons.
"So?" Rose twists around. "Good friends, good wine, mutually assured destruction. What better place to talk about it?"
Shane chews his lip, still looking at his phone.
One last out. "You can always tell me to fuck off."
"No." Shane says, starting to pace. "Okay. You know how Ted was intimidated by me?"
"Yes, absolutely. I'm so glad we're friends, 'cause you've become such a good like - benchmark test for guys. If a guy can't handle you being my friend, it's not worth my time."
"Right. Well." Shane licks his lips, shoulders hunching up before he takes a breath and looks over to Hayden and Jackie like this is a face off he has to win before turning to her. He folds in, slumping against seat of the couch, rather than on it. Rests his cheek on his arms, hiding his mouth like he did in the restaurant. "My boyfriend is so jealous of you he forgets I'm gay."
Oh. Oh shit.
"Are you kidding?" Rose doesn't know why she whispered, except that it feels right. Like it feels like to melt off the couch and sit on the floor next to him. To lean into his side like she can press the answers out with her body weight. Like he couldn't bench press her.
"I wish I was! When you texted me like, two summers ago he was pissed. Like 'oh, you're not so gay you can't fuck Rose Landry.'"
"You saw him over the summer?" Rose gasps. "You said you were busy with meetings!"
"He said that!" Hayden yelps, at the same time. "What the hell, man."
"What a dick," Rose says, wondrously. "And you kept him? You're keeping him?"
Shane smiles, a small one, trembling at the corner of his mouth. Just like when he admitted to being gay in the first place. "I kinda like that about him, actually."
"You like that your boyfriend is a dick?" Jackie repeats, huffing. "Of course you do. Ugh. No wonder you never wanted to meet my friends! I kept telling you how nice they were. Shane. If you had just given me something to work with, I could have found you a bitch. I know a lot of bitches."
Amazingly, that's what does it. Shane shifts to fully bury his face against his arms, shoulders shaking as he laughs.
"Babe," Hayden protests weakly, and Jackie waves him off.
"Gender non-specific."
"Gender very specific, actually," Shane takes a shaky breath. "As it turns out."
"Wait - wait, okay. You're - gay?" Hayden stutters. "I mean - thank you? I'm glad you told me? You didn't have to! I mean - I'm glad! I am! Just!"
"Babe, shut up," Jackie hisses.
Next to her, Shane starts to hiccup.
"But - Who's Lily?"
Behind Hayden's flustered allyship, Jackie's eyes are slowly going wide. She meets Rose's eyes and mouths, 'Big?'
Rose can do nothing but lick her lips, and slowly, seriously, nod.
Jackie clears her throat, "So Shane, hypothetically…."
Rose cackles.
"Absolutely not." Shane says immediately, "It's bad enough that Rose saw!"
"What does he think?" Rose attempts.
Shane groans. Mumbles into his arms. "He's being an asshole. I'm not repeating."
"Well, now you kinda have to," Hayden says. "Sorry, man, I don't make the rules!"
"He wants to know if you get why we weren't compatible."
"Sharing is caring, is all I'm saying."
"Fuck off, Rose."
"I thought this was a safe space."
"I never said that."