Chapter Text
Steve lay on the living room sofa, wrapped in an old blanket he'd stolen from his aunt and uncle's house long ago, a mug of hot chocolate in his hands since he'd given up coffee long ago.
After being kicked out of his house, he'd started living in the cabin his grandmother had left him; she'd been one of the only people who'd cared about him after what happened in Colorado.
The cabin was nestled in the woods and had a small lake in front of it. Steve loved this place.
He'd completely renovated the house and chosen new furniture to decorate it; he'd even bought a display case to keep things that reminded him of Denver.
There were photos he'd taken, photos of his mother, Gwen, and Robin. They were all Steve's little treasures.
There were other objects that reminded him of his past, like 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯's necklace, which he always wore and never took off, along with Vance's bracelets on his wrists that helped hide old scars.
Steve also had a notebook full of drawings of 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯, Gwen, and the children.
Whenever he could, he drew them.It was like a kind of penance for having survived, and although his imprisonment ended some years ago, the aftereffects of what happened when he was thirteen still haunted him.
The nightmares were the worst, and he didn't just dream about his kidnapping; he also dreamed about the shit that happened in this town, like the upside-down world, Barbara's disappearance, the fight with Billy, and then his death—all those things barely let him sleep at night.
There was also the fact that he still saw things.
Maybe not like Gwen, but the ghosts of the people he knew were still there, and not just those from Denver, but also those from... Hawkins. Like Bill, Barbara, or Chrissy.
Sometimes he saw them in his reflections, still, staring at him.
They had all called Steve, and he did what they wanted: protect the people they remembered—in this case, Max, Eddie, and Nancy—since Barbara had asked him to.
And even though he and Nancy had ended their relationship badly, he kept his promise.
And although he felt guilty about what happened to Max, since it was his duty to protect her and he had failed, he felt relieved when she recovered after the whole Upside Down circus.
But he still tried to make it up to her, giving her everything he could, like a new skateboard or paying for the prescription for the glasses she had to wear permanently.
He also spoiled Robin, Dustin, and Eddie.
He couldn't help it; he felt guilty about what Eddie went through with the Hellbats.
Besides, Eddie had almost died, and Steve hadn't carried him from the trailer to the hospital with Dustin crying desperately, just so he could live in that wrecked trailer.
So, discreetly, he'd bought him a new one—discreetly, of course. Steve still remembered that day; Eddie's and his uncle's reaction when they saw their new home was priceless.
Steve had lied to them, telling them it was compensation from the town and a bunch of other nonsense, but it all came out of his own pocket.
Maybe he even bought a replica of the damn guitar Eddie was holding when they almost killed him.Steve would never admit he did that; he'd keep it until the day he died.
He also spoiled Will and Jane; he spoiled everyone after the Upside Down problem was solved.
That's why he invited them to his cabin today.
To celebrate that all that upside-down crap was finally over, and to eat pizza, which he'd pay for.
He'd do anything for the boys, Rob and Eddie.
They'd be happy, even if it gave him a migraine afterward from all the noise they made and he'd have to take Tylenol until he was possibly intoxicated.
It also didn't matter that today was the anniversary of his first love's death, an anniversary tattooed on his chest.
It didn't matter that he hadn't slept a wink and his eyes burned from crying all day.
It didn't matter that he'd have to fake a smile until his cheeks ached.
Nothing mattered, except that the boys were coming over today and they were going to have a great movie night.
The clock struck six when the boys arrived.
Chaos reigned as they chose a movie.
While Jonathan, Nancy, Robin, and Eddie helped with the food, the boys finally made a decision.
Silence fell as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre played on TV.
Steve felt a knot in his stomach. Robin must have noticed his discomfort because she took his hand.
Eddie must have noticed too, but instead of taking his hand, he leaned on Steve's shoulder, trying to comfort him with his presence.
Steve took a deep breath and tried not to burden the others any further with the emotional distress the movie was causing him.
He was sure Robin thought he hadn't liked the movie because, in general, he didn't like horror movies.
But it was for a completely different reason.
He'd never seen it with the right Robin, and that only made the knot tighten.
He should have seen it in 1978 when his asked him to watch it with him.
He should have gone with him to that damn candy store.
He should have walked him home.
But he was a coward and never did.
He never saw the movie.
He never told 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯 he loved him.
He never ate candy from that damn store again, the one that took away what he loved most when he was thirteen.
Damn, he really wanted to cry, but he couldn't, not with the kids here, he couldn't.
He stared at the television, completely disoriented.
His thoughts returned to Denver and stayed there for a while.
Steve couldn't bring him back; he thought about everything again.
About Gwen, whom he hadn't seen since they were separated a few months after she turned fourteen.
About how he had clung to his arms, trying to stay with her.
About how his nails had been torn to shreds after he'd scratched the car door to get out after his uncles had forced him inside.
Above all, he thought about 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯, how he defended him from those who tried to hurt him, how he always bandaged his knuckles after they'd fought, how his touch made him feel warmth in his chest, and how his gaze could make Steve do anything he wanted.
He stared in a trance, his arms crossed over his chest, until Eddie began to gently shake him, calling him by another name.
Steve didn't recognize his name; everything was spinning. He couldn't even understand what Eddie was saying.
But he recognized a sound in the background; it was the phone ringing.
He had to answer
He had to answer
He had to answer
He had to answer
He had to answer.
Answer
Answer
Answer
Answer.
But he couldn't move. Eddie was watching him, worried.
He couldn't worry the children today, not
today.
Today would be a happy day.
So, with all the willpower he could muster, he got up and answered the phone.
Gwen's voice filled his ears.
He took a deep breath.
It was just his sister.