Work Text:
MESSAGES
Shane Hollander: Hey
Shane Hollander: I’m missing something.
Shane Hollander: Did you happen to see a small, green notebook in our Olympic village room before we all packed up and left?
Mark Bain: Hmm.
Mark Bain: Is it a notebook, or journal?
Shane Hollander: Notebook
Mark Bain: What do you write in it?
Shane Hollander: Just some thoughts and stuff
Mark Bain: Man that’s a journal
Shane Hollander: It’s literally a blue notebook. It was in the room when I left, so I must have left it in there. Did you happen to see it before you left?
Mark Bain: Nope, I don’t recall. But, I’ll go ahead and ask around.
Shane Hollander: Thanks a bunch!
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Mark ✅
@OfficiallyMarkBain: Aww man, Shane Hollander lost his journal at the Olympics. Does anyone know where it might be?
Replies:
susie
@susiemiller: shane hollander? like the hockey player guy? lost his JOURNAL?
Kyle ✅
@KyleKellerLA: Ayo. Why does Shane have a journal.
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MESSAGES
Shane Hollander: Hey what the hell??
Shane Hollander: Why’d you tweet about my notebook??
Mark Bain: Oh shit. My bad
Mark Bain: I thought I’d ask to see if anyone had seen it
Shane Hollander: That’s a terrible idea!!
Mark Bain: Ok.
Mark Bain: Sorry for trying to help :(
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MESSAGES
Hayden Pike: Shane don’t call me 43 times in a row ever again
Shane Hollander: It’s an emergency, please
Hayden Pike: Losing your journal is not an emergency
Shane Hollander: What??
Shane Hollander: How’d you know?
Hayden Pike: 🤥
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Shady MLH Facts
@TheShadeRoom: Sources have said that Shane Hollander has left his JOURNAL at the Olympic Village 👀 Any idea what he might be writing in there?
Replies:
Kade
@Montreal_fan: Hope hes wondering how to score more goals.
greta
@hollannderrr: hope hes wondering what hayden pike will look like naked oiled up
Shane Protectection
@HollanderProtect: IMPORTANT ‼️REPORT AND BLOCK @hollannderrr
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Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Wait Hang on… You’re telling me this random notebook I found at work is actually Shane Hollander’s lost journal?
Replies:
abbey
@abbeyspuck: hmm where do you work? its very likely that could not be his
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: I’m a cleaner of the Olympic Village specifically in the rooms for the Canadian men’s hockey team
abbey
@abbeyspuck: ok yeah that’s 100% his
Shane Hollander ✅
@Shane_Hollander24: Don’t tell me you kept it…
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: 😅😅😅😅😅
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MESSAGES
Lily: hollander what
Lily: your journal is leaked?
Jane: Oh!
Jane: Hey, I’ve been waiting for you to text
Jane: Why have you been ignoring me?
Lily: that wasn't my question
Lily: your journal? someone took?
Lily: who. where
Jane: I don’t know, okay?
Jane: I guess I lost it.
Jane: But, that’s none of your business.
Jane: You’ve been ignoring me for a while.
Jane: I mean, I’m happy that you texted, but still.
Jane: Kind of hurts to be ignored.
Lily: let’s get to the bottom of the journal thing first
Jane: Seriously??
Jane: Alright. Fine.
Jane: We’ll talk after then, okay?
Lily: fine.
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TWITTER MESSAGES
@Shane_Hollander24: Hey. Random guy named Ryan from twitter. Can I have my journal back.
@ThatRyanGuy: Why’d you have to address me like that??
@Shane_Hollander24: What else should I have said?
@ThatRyanGuy: Hmm.
@ThatRyanGuy: Not sure.
@ThatRyanGuy: Well, it’d be hard to get it back. Aren’t you already in Canada?
@Shane_Hollander24: I have my ways.
@Shane_Hollander24: I’ll get it back somehow
@Shane_Hollander24: Just promise to give it to me?
@ThatRyanGuy: Alright.
@ThatRyanGuy: But, I’ll have some fun with it first. This is the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in years!
@Shane_Hollander24: What??
@ThatRyanGuy: Maybe I’ll be nice and not post the pages online🤔
@ThatRyanGuy: Or maybe not.
@Shane_Hollander24: ??
@Shane_Hollander24: 😭
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Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Yo. I got Shane’s approval to answer a few questions about his journal. Who wants to start 🎤
Replies:
kelsey
@shanespike: does he mention hayden in here ANYWHERE??? please tell
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Not a single word in here about that guy
kelsey
@shanespike: you have to be fucking lying.
Shady MLH Facts
@TheShadeRoom: What’s Shane’s full name? We can’t find it anywhere.
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Bro he signed it Shane Middlename Hollander
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MESSAGES
Lily: what is happening now
Lily: why did you give permission for him to post online
Jane: I DIDN’T
Lily: 😦
Lily: you did not give permission?
Jane: No!
Jane: I even asked him to give it back to me!
Jane: He said he would… but not until he posted about it some more.
Lily: oh no
Jane: What should I do?
Lily: nobody know
Jane: Ilya help me😔
Lily: i am thinking.
Lily: ideas take time
Jane: Please let me know when you have any solutions
Lily: ok i will
Jane: Thanks 🙂
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Hayden Pike: 47 calls I’m not picking up
Shane Hollander: Hear me out.
Shane Hollander: I think I’m going crazy
Hayden Pike: Okay… not a good sentence starter but I’m listening
Shane Hollander: I’ve been waiting for a text back from someone for a while now, and the only thing that made them respond is my journal getting leaked.
Hayden Pike: Is it me?
Shane Hollander: No why the hell would it be you.
Shane Hollander: Anyways.
Shane Hollander: I’m just thinking, this is the only thing that got their attention
Shane Hollander: Should I leak stuff more often?
Shane Hollander: Maybe stage a break-in or something?
Hayden Pike: Shane no?
Hayden Pike: What!! Is wrong with you!!
Shane Hollander: Okay, you’re right.
Shane Hollander: But still
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Keep those questions coming! I’ll be here all night!
Replies:
Alissa
@BostonBorn12: Shane probably says dear diary and adds a bunch of hearts onto the page
cam
@camshockey shane can you come confirm ? @Shane_hollander
abbey
@abbeyspuck: hey!! you guys are forgetting the number one rule of MLH twitter: please do NOT tag the actual players in anything!
Replies:
JJ ✅
@JJBOIZEU: Come look at this @Shane_Hollander
Shane ✅
@ShaneHollander: I do not say Dear Diary, but tentative about the hearts.
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Hayden Pike✅
@RealHaydenPike: Proud Member of the #IReadShaneHollandersJournal squad
Hayden Pike✅
@RealHaydenPike: I read it before it became cool.
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MESSAGES
Shane Hollander: Piggybacking off my newfound fame while ignoring my calls and calling me crazy?
Hayden Pike: I gatta do what I gatta do
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: New journal news: Shane talks about his fellow Team Canada teammates in his journal 👀
Replies:
Scott Hunter ✅
@OfficialScott_Hunter: What’d he say about me in there
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: He's questioning your sexuality Scott Hunter
Scott Hunter ✅
@OfficialScott_Hunter: 😨
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Nah I’m just kidding he called you fashionable
Scott Hunter ✅
@OfficialScott_Hunter: 😅
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TWITTER MESSAGES:
@ThatRyanGuy: Bro please I swear I’ll give it back just let me leak the first page.
@Shane_Hollander24: No??
@ThatRyanGuy: I’ll pay you
@ThatRyanGuy: Please
@Shane_Hollander24: No, money is the last thing I need.
@ThatRyanGuy: Alright
@ThatRyanGuy: I’ll rob you then
@Shane_Hollander24: ??
@Shane_Hollander24: Wait actually maybe.
@Shane_Hollander24: Give me more details
@ThatRyanGuy: I was kidding wtf
@Shane_Hollander24: Okay.
@Shane_Hollander24: Fine.
@Shane_Hollander24: One page.
@Shane_Hollander24: Can you blur out any names though?
@ThatRyanGuy: Sure thing.
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Alright. I’m going to leak the first page. I got Shane’s approval. Gimme 2 minutes to scribble out the names.
Replies:
kels
@kelspucky: you seriously got approval??
Shane ✅
@ShaneHollander:
He did.
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MESSAGES
Lily: hollander
Lily: now you are confirming you gave approval?
Lily: what is this?
Jane: Ohh yeah
Jane: I changed my mind
Jane: Feeling a little bit dangerous and mysterious, I don’t know
Lily: ?
Lily: are you okay?
Jane: Hm. Now you want to talk to me?
Lily: .
Lily: i can stop responding
Lily: i said we will talk after this, didn’t i?
Jane: Okay. Fine.
Lily: hard for me to think of solutions when you are okaying him posting
Lily: im just scared, what is in that journal?
Lily: and he is leaking it?
Jane: Why do you even care?
Lily: i just do
Lily: not good to see it exposed
Jane: It’s alright, I told him to censor names
Lily: and you believe him??
Jane: Why shouldn’t I?
Lily: hollander.
Lily: you believe people too easily
Jane: It’s a problem now that I trust people???
Lily: no. not a problem.
Lily: just looking out
Jane: For me?
Lily: yes
Jane: Well… thanks 🙂
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Shane Hollander: This is literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me
Hayden Pike: HOW
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: PAGE 1 - SHANE HOLLANDERS JOURNAL
Replies:
Mark ✅
@OfficiallyMarkBain: Shane… what the hell man :(
Shane Hollander ✅
@Shane_Hollander24: Why’d you only cross out one of the names
Melissa
@MelissaMetro: Febuary?? Shane honey…
JJ ✅
@JJBOIZEU: Are we gonna just graze over Ilya scribbled out very badly
elsie
@imurhope24: jj being more nosy than the rest of us is killing me
blair
@blairwitch2: Honestly JJ, I don’t think that says Ilya.
JJ ✅
@JJBOIZEU: Oh. Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see.
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MESSAGES:
Lily: you should have told him to cross out better
Lily: what is this??
Jane: 😣
Jane: Oops.
Jane: Sorry?
Lily: no… no
Lily: do not apologize
Lily: it is not your fault, your privacy was violated
Jane: You’re right!
Jane: I’m glad you agree.
Jane: Are we able to chat about something else now?
Lily: no, no
Lily: this is not solved yet
Jane: 🙄
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TWITTER MESSAGES
@ThatRyanGuy: One more page? 💦
@Shane_Hollander24: You know what, go for it
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: GOT PERMISSION FOR ONE MORE - THIS IS MY FAV ONE! Crossed out all names and profanities.
Replies:
Jack
@JackMontNative: Oh he wasn’t lying about the middle name.
Melissa
@MelissaMetro: Feburary ♥️
Suzy
@Suzylovesu: Are we sure we’re not being pranked right now?
JJ ✅
@JJBOIZEU: Woah… this one can’t be mistaken… what a discovery
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Mark ✅
@OfficiallyMarkBain: I don’t even smell bad.
Replies:
Kyle ✅
@KyleKellerLA: 😬
Shane Hollander ✅
@Shane_Hollander24: 😬
Scott Hunter ✅
@OfficialScott_Hunter: 😬
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Shady MLH Facts
@TheShadeRoom: BREAKING NEWS! Shane Middlename Hollander’s journal claims he wants to **** **** *******, but what does that mean? Our team cannot for the LIFE of us figure out what words are under those scribbles!
Replies:
abbey
@abbeyspuck: so are yall dumb or.
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MESSAGES:
Hayden Pike: Alright I want to talk about what’s going on, go ahead and give me a call
Shane Hollander: NOW you want to call?
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TWITTER:
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy: Hang on, now I’m confused. Sources are telling me it’s not the Canadian teams rooms that I cleaned, but the Russians? Then how do I have Shane Hollander’s journal?
Replies:
Shady MLH Facts
@TheShadeRoom: Maybe it’s not his? Idk.
Ryan
@ThatRyanGuy:
No. This is most certainly Shane Hollander’s journal, and it was definitely found in a Russian players room. Huh.
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TWITTER MESSAGES:
@IlyaRozanov_: delete that
@IlyaRozanov_: ryan guy delete that now
@IlyaRozanov_: delete everything
@IlyaRozanov_: return journal now please.
@ThatRyanGuy: Return to Shane Hollander, or return to the room I originally found it in ? 🤔
@IlyaRozanov_: ryan guy.
@IlyaRozanov_: do not play games with me.
@ThatRyanGuy: All I’m saying is the dots are fucking CLICKING!
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TWITTER:
Mark ✅
@OfficiallyMarkBain: Ohh okay this all explains why I thought I saw Ilya in my room at night staring at Shane lolol mystery solved
Shane Hollander ✅
@Shane_Hollander24: ????????
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MESSAGES:
Jane: So.
Lily: i can explain
Jane: Yes, please do 😀