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Andrew "Pope" Cody has always had a tough time sleeping, from Smurf to prison, he hasn’t had an easy life. But the one job he has never had a challenging time with is loving you. That was like breathing to him. Smurf fucked him up bad with how he saw love and received love.
But once he met you at the beach that day, he never stopped looking at you. every fiber of his being wanted to be near you. Something about you always calmed him down in a way that made him slow the racing thoughts in his head—even if his heart raced every time he saw you.
He was sitting on the couch watching tv waiting for you to come home.
The door clicking and the knob turning. He turned to face you. so the first thing you saw when you came in was him.
You came rushing through the door with three bags on your arms. You were a dayshift nurse. wearing green scrubs, your hair was tied back in a messy bun, and you had dark circles under your eyes.
“Oh my god you wouldn’t believe what happened today...” You start to ramble on about some crazy butt naked patient that pope couldn’t care to give a shit about, but you seem to care to tell him about. but your voice and weird ass story stop a rush of the thoughts in his head.
He came into the kitchen while still listening to you. He started to go through the brown paper bags with you. They only had fruits and vegetables in them. He placed them out on to the counter with you and then to the sink to watch them.
“So, what were you doing all day?” you asked and wrapped your arms around his waist, he tenses for a second before realizing it’s not a threat. you give a little squeeze, grounding him to this moment.
“Nothing much.” he said, drying the cucumbers and the rest of the fruits and veggies. “Just worked, clean up the place.” he said which was true, since Smurf died, losing Lena to the foster care, Baz dying, he needed a break, he also had you now so he didn’t need them anymore. So, he upped and left them all behind. He chose to work at a shipping dock so that he could stack boxes all day and have a sense of purpose. Not like he needs the money. He still had plenty from his last few jobs. He likes to have a task every day.
He also had you now— to care for, to love.
The day he opened to you was a day he will never forget, you got into an arguing match over something stupide. Everything came crashing down around him. That was the same day you hugged him for hours, He fell in love with you.
He finished drying them, and you left him as you went down the hallway.
He put them away in the correct places. which were in each of the colored bins he kept in the fridge. Each of the colors was for a different food item, green was vegetables and red for fruits and clear for yogurts. The pop was also in a bin that fits a whole twelve pack. He had them all for easy access and he always liked an organized place.
you came back out after a while. with your hair in a braid, God he loved when your hair was in a braid. You were wearing your matching white and yellow striped pjs.
He was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. Just watching you.
You came closer, Grabbing his Bicep. You loved how big they were. He let his arms fall to the sides. As a pink hue came across his cheek.
It was good enough that you could wrap your arm around him.
his breath hitched at the contact.
“Sorry.” you whisper not meaning to cause him harm. “I just want a hug. it been a long day” You say with a sigh.
“Don’t apologize, it’s me not you.” he said, his voice had that roughness to it that made you warm on the inside. you loved his voice, it was one of many reason why you fell love him in the first place.
wrapping his arms around you. He kissed the top of your head. You stood there for a while. Breathing him in, the musky ocean scent he always had. Listing to his racing heart. Letting it calm you down from your long shift at work.
Looking up at him. You knew he was not sleeping well--or at all, from the nightmares that kept him up but also from his mind over thinking every little thing.
You and pope have only been dating for year or so now, and he still wasn’t comfortable at your house. You both moved in together about three months ago.
He still doesn’t sit on the couch without looking at it for a good long minute. Like if he needs permission to sit down--to let himself relax. You still don’t even sleep in the same bed.
“Have you been sleeping?” you ask, seeing the dark circles under his eyes. He looks away from you, partly ashamed but the other part was he did not want you to see him tired and worn out.
He fought so many battles that this one he did not want to fight. He never wanted to fight with you. Fighting with you was like a gunshot wound straight to the heart. Something he never wished to do.
“Ok.” you say and reach up and place a kiss on his cheek. a slight blush creeping on his cheek. grabbing his muscular hand in your smaller hand. You gave his hand a squeeze, as you guided him to the bedroom.
He followed you; He would follow you anywhere any time of any day if it meant you would be happy with him.
“Why are we going to the bedroom?” he asked. You don’t say anything till you bring him into the room.
You let go of his hand; he stood there watching you. As you get into bed and cover yourself with the blanket. leaving the other side open where he could lay.
“Come,” you patted next to you, he was hesitant to get into bed. “I’m not going to bite.” you say and give him that smile that always melts his heart.
After a moment of debating with himself he gets into bed. He was awkward. Just sitting there.
“Why do you want me in bed?” he asked, this time you answered him.
“Because honey you haven't slept in a long time.” you said, adding “you need to sleep.”
he grumbles, but he knew you were right. He hasn't slept more than three hours in years. Always worrying about what would happen next to the people he loves—or nightmare would come back the second he closed his eyes.
“I’m going to hold you and rub your hair,” You stated since Pope didn’t like to not know what people were going to do. All the year with Smurf. “Your safe to rest here, and sleep in the same bed as me you know that right?” You ask him, turning a little bit to see him.
“Are you sure? I don't want to ruin your sleep.” Pope says sitting against the headboard. “I’m fucked up here.” He said pointing to his head. “I’m a monster.” He said his voice was breaking a little bit.
“You don’t scare me.” you say then after a moment of looking at him sitting against the headboard all awkward. “I want you here with me. in every part.” You say and reach a hand to his face, rubbing little circles. He leans into the touch, closing his eyes. He reached up and held your hand.
“You are not a monster. You've been hurt, abused and had a shitty life, but you are anything but a monster.” You said, breathing in and letting the words fill the space.
After a moment of silence you say, “Come on, Andrew, can we at least try?” you asked. “If you don’t like it, we won't do it again, I promise.” you say with a hand to your heart.
After a moment of looking at you he leaned his head on your chest. You were shocked at the sudden contact. More than that, really, he did it, yet you smiled. You waited a moment before starting to rub his soft curly hair.
you continued to rub his hair, and he wrapped his arms around you. For a moment you didn’t even know he was crying till you felt wetness on your chest.
“Shh, you're safe with me.” God what truly happened in that house? you think. still rubbing his hair.
“I am here now. I love you.” you whisper. you didn’t stop till his breathing eased and he fell asleep.
The sunlight came though the curtains, slowly waking you up. you shifted and felt a warm body next to you; his arm wrapped around you.
you smiled. He stayed. you think as you sighed. Your eyes slowly opened and he was already watching you.
“How did you sleep?” you asked, voice ruff with sleep.
He waits a moment to think of how he slept. “Better.” he said voice still deep with sleep.
You started to laugh.
"What's funny?” he asked, unsure of why you were laughing.
“I am happy you slept. That's all.” you said, turning to face him.
He had a little smirk on his lips, the one he always had when he was hiding how happy he was. you wrapped your arms around his waist, a hitch of his breath, then it steady again.
“Promise me you will hold me more.” Pope requested.
“As long as you promise to love me.” you replied.
“Deal,” he said and kissed you. soft and deep, a loving kiss. “Thank you. for this.” He said braking the kiss.