Chapter Text
Naruto was never really one for dating apps but after some of Sakura’s famous persuasion tactics, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that this wasn’t a permanent commitment. It was just a way to see what was out there. To be honest, it wasn’t so bad. The interface was a little chaotic, but it was entertaining, and the idea of talking to new people made his chest tingle with a mix of excitement and nerves.
He added some photos, two of him eating his cheap, instant ramen. A few showing off his athletic build, thanks to years of football training and picking up the gym as his only hobby and the rest and the rest were random shots from hikes with friends, messy group photos, and one slightly blurry sunset that he’d insisted looked “cool.”
However, it wasn’t long before the girls he matched with began to bore him. Conversations turned into repetitive loops of small talk about coffee, weekend plans. It wasn’t that the girls were bad or uninteresting, but Naruto’s mind jumped faster than the flow of the messages. He wanted energy, spark, unpredictability, not polite smiles and predictable replies.
But then, unexpectedly, he matched with a girl who stood out to him.
Hinata Hyuuga.
Long, silky purple hair that seemed to highlight her entire profile and frame her face perfectly. Her smile looked gentle and genuine, the kind that seemed softer than duck feather pillows, and he couldn’t really think of anything else soft enough to compare it to but you get the gist. Her doe grey eyes felt like stars in a midnight sky, calm and quiet in a way that made her profile feel different from the others. Every photo made her look serene, almost untouchable, like she existed slightly above the ordinary world.
The more he looked at her photos, the more he felt drawn to the stillness she radiated. Naturally, they began talking, simple messages at first, which slowly stretched into longer conversations late at night. His phone would buzz with her name, and Naruto would feel a warmth in his chest, anticipation building with each notification.
But all of that eventually fizzled out once Naruto realised they were not really in sync. He was loud, energetic and always jumping between ideas while Hinata seemed shy and hesitant about everything. Naruto found her a little boring after a while and a little weird with how she followed whatever he said rather than actually being with him in the conversation. He wanted dialogue, debate, laughter that bounced between them. What he got was softness, compliance, and polite agreement. Over time, that became suffocating, like breathing under too much cotton.
And now…
Now Naruto was defeated, he felt like this whole dating site shit was just a sham or one of those things that you only get lucky with like the lottery or freeballing an exam. He deleted the app solemnly, life resumed its usual rhythm: early gym sessions, football practice, cheap meals, late nights ending with him collapsing into bed, the ceiling above a blank canvas for his scattered thoughts.
-
Nine months went past and Naruto hadn’t even thought about the dating app at all, not once. Life had gone back to its usual rhythm of early gym sessions, football practice, cheap meals, and late nights that ended with him collapsing into bed without much thought about anything else. But things were different now, and it had all started with something stupidly small.
It started when he saw one of his gym friends come out of the shower.
Well, the dude wasn’t particularly his friend, just someone he had met at the gym and slowly became friendly with over time. They spotted each other during lifts sometimes, exchanged the occasional joke, and talked about supplements or routines like most guys there did.
“Yo Suigetsu, what’s the brand for that protein powder you use…” The blond’s voice trailed off as the question turned into an awkward pause, the end of the sentence landing on a quiet gulp. A rose tint bloomed across his tanned skin as he quickly tried not to stare. Suigetsu had just stepped out of the showers like it was nothing, water still dripping from his pale hair and shoulders, muscles catching the light, and his pale hair clinging to his neck. Naruto’s heart began to thump in a way it hadn’t before, his eyes betrayed him, lingering a moment too long.
Suigetsu noticed immediately.
A slow, cheeky smirk spread across his face, the kind of knowing look that made it seem like he had caught something interesting; a shark smelling blood in the water.
“What’s the matter, Uzumaki? We’re bros, right.”
He stood there casually, not even bothering to grab a towel yet, rummaging through his bag for his clothes like the situation was completely normal. After a second he found the tub of protein powder Naruto had asked about and tossed it over without looking.
Naruto caught it automatically, knuckles white as he gripped onto the tub for emotional support. His mind scrambled to focus on the label, the words, anything that wasn’t the boy in front of him. I mean, this was a very normal reaction to seeing your gym buddy naked, it wasn’t like he was gay or something?
He quickly notes the label before putting it down by the bench in front of the lockers and then without even taking a single glance at Suigestu.
“Man, I’ll just meet you at the bar…”
Later that night, Naruto sat hunched over his laptop, the glow of the screen lighting up his room while he searched up what even he would call some dumbass shit. If Shikamaru saw this he would never hear the end of it, the guy would probably sigh and call this whole mental breakdown a “drag” before walking away.
“Am I gay quiz.”
“Is it gay to find your gym buddy hot?”
“How to get over seeing someone’s dick.”
Naruto leaned back in his chair with a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. Every single quiz he took spat out some annoying percentage like 55% to 87%. Every answer he found online seemed to circle back to the same dumb conclusion about “exploring identity” or “possible queerness.” He had even gone as far as asking some random AI bot for advice, typing out the question three different ways, and somehow it had given him the same vague answer every time.
Naruto stared at the screen like it had personally offended him.
He could practically feel himself going insane.
How could he, Naruto fucking Uzumaki, be gay.
So, he decided to do the ultimate test, look at gay porn and see if he got hard. He had quickly locked his bedroom door before getting the website up and then clicking the genre. Originally, he thought he would immediately be repulsed but after a shameful look around his room, he found himself rather interested. His mind raced, logic and panic entwined. He had never questioned this before, never imagined this possibility. The thought felt alien, thrilling, terrifying.
He clicked on a random video, some pale looking dude with dark hair and instantly got hard within the first few seconds. The sudden realisation began to make the room feel colder as he shuddered and quickly shut his laptop, throwing it on the ground and covering himself up.
Fuck.