Chapter Text
"Good Moring Watson," Sherlock says creeping out of the Kitchen with John's phone in his hand "Who is Carrie, she seems to be messaging you quite a lot, and in a panic from the frequent messages of almost 0.4 seconds,"
"JESUS-SHERLOCK- wait, why is CARRIE texting ME?" John asks spilling some of his tea "Oh Christ I spilt my tea,"
"Watson I have no idea who Carrie is, or why she is texting you, I asked you that," Sherlock says still hovering above John.
"Sorry, so Carrie is my Ex, we broke up a year before I went to Ukraine, but that was a rhetorical question mate, and give me my phone I probably should call her if it's urgent" John says standing up and snatching the phone out of Sherlock's hand. Before pressing call John sighed not knowing what to expect "Hey Sherls, can you not try to make any noise, this could be important, okay?"
"I guess, Sherlock says grabbing a tea towel to wipe the reaming tea that John had spilt, clearly eavesdropping on John's conversation with Carrie.
"Hey Carrie, Is everything alright?... sorry?... Carrie, slow down I can't understand what your saying- ah I see, er okay.... are you serious? ...... Why didn't you tell me sooner? Is he okay?...can I er meet him?" John asks, with silent pauses Sherlock assumes that's Carrie answering his questions, but Sherlock is quite interested in this conversation that he has made it very clear that he is eavesdropping, that John has started eyeing him with surprise and annoyance "Ah, I see, er would you send that to er [email protected]?.... yeah, I 'll forward it to Marianna, errr noooo I have no reason to believe..... yeah okay, thanks for letting me know, er bye!" After he clearly hangs up he sighs and collapses onto the couch.
"Watson are you okay what did Carrie need from you?" Sherlock asks curiously as he sits down on the armchair next to the couch.
"Well, I don't know how to put this but er I am a father," John says clearly in denial.
"WHAT!" Marianna says, dropping a stack of papers, most likely taxes or boring paperwork stuff, "Since when, Oh Dios Mijo sorry guys!"
"Since about err... October 5th, 2020- threee, I believeeee" John says wincing at the sudden loud noise of paper falling onto the ground "buttt, Carrie had believed it was her current partners' kid sooo yeah!"
"Okay okay so your child is about... hmmm I don't know? 8 MONTHS OLD! and you had no IDEA THEY EVEN EXISTED?!" Marianna yells standing in the doorway.
"Yeah well it's not really my fault that my Ex, dumped me before they knew they where pregnant, with a child they thought was her other boyfriends child and I was also oh I don't know BLOWN UP so yeah I wonder how I had no idea!" John says sitting up straight rubbing his forehead as Marianna nods in agreement.
"Watson, this Carrie woman has E-mailed you court orders for.. Child custody, of "James Evans" and according to this the proceedings will take place on March 27th.. and Carol Watson has volunteered to take care of him for the ca-" Sherlock says almost immediately getting cut off by John,
"Yes of course Carol wants to watch over her new grandkid! of course, oh sorry Sherls, continue," John says huffing.
"Yes well before I was rudely interrupted, Carol will watch over James for the case, er it is at 10 am, and I believe that's all!" Sherlock says after giving John a glare.
"Well Marianna, guess you'll be helping me find a lawyer!" John says getting up off the couch to sit down in the kitchen.
"Of course John, let me pick up the sheets of paper I dropped earlier first!" She says rolling her eyes.
"I'll help Mrs Hudson!" Sherlock says running over to help her.
"Sherlock, its MARIANNA, not Mrs Hudson, she worked for a company called Huds-" John whines
"Not now Watson you have a lawyer to find!" Sherlock exclaims clearly ignoring whatever John had just said with John sighing in the background.
After around four hours of looking for Firms and Solicitors, John, still in his Pyjamas had resorted to going through discord messages and message Stammo and Nadia to tell them what happened and looking through Reddit to see if anyone had any similar experiences to what he was going through and trying to clean up some of Sherlock’s many loose papers to make room for a crib and what not, if he even got custody of James, which was quite a nice name to be fair, he most likey would only get weekends. “Hey Mari! Where do you think a cheep place to get baby things?” John asks rubbing his shoulders, from picking up paper that seemed to be way to heavy for him.
“I would say Naturalmat Nursery Showroom! It’s quite close! But not so much cheap , you’d probably need at least a hundred pounds if you want to by any sort of furniture,’ Marianna replies .
“See I don’t think we should even fight over Custody, James deserves a good life and I don’t even have a Job to provide for him let alone us!” John sighs sinking back into the couch.
“Oh John don’t even say That, any kid would be lucky to have a dad like yo-” Marianna says pouting before being interrupted by a quite loud, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, Please stick to the rivers and lakes that your used to- I know that you’re gonna-”
“ JESUAS CHRIST!” John yells jumping from the couch.
“Watson, I have no idea why your scared of your own, annoying, ringtone, but I believe your mother is calling you!” Sherlock, who John swore was in his room playing the violin, sates.
“Yeah, yeah okay I’ll answer!” John says answering the phone “Hi mum what’s wrong?.... ahh I see, yep only found out this morning… look mum I don’t know If I even want to fight over Custody , James deserves a good life and I don’t even have a Job to provide for him, and we are barley at home, and look, I trust Wiggins with a dog but not with a literal child, hell he is one…… Oh mum you don’t have to…. No, I don’t bloody care if you get 300 pounds from the government, yeah, yeah I get what you’re saying, okay fine! Okay well it looks like I’m going to John Lewis, when will you tra- of course you did alright thanks by Mum, Yep I’ll tell Sherlock and Marianna you said hi!” John says hanging up the phone, “Okay, I need to get some proper trousers on and a shirt and I will see you in about 20 minutes!”
“Okay Watson be careful with not stepping in dog shit on the way there, we have no money for new shoes, as of now!” Sherlock yells over his shoulder as he puts a nicotine patch on his arm.
“Ahah, thanks Sherlock, Marianna could you put Sherlock’s childish science set away and throw out his drugs as well please!” John says closing the door.