Chapter Text
The Dauntless sailed through the night while Elizabeth sat at the end of the commodore’s bed, watching over his restless sleep. She knew she was responsible for the deep knife wound near his left side. The hour was late—or, more likely, early—and the sky was dark as the ship carried them towards Port Royal.
Doctor Talbot, the ship’s surgeon, had cleaned the wound and stitched it up and done what he could to make James comfortable. Talbot predicted the commodore would make a full recovery, but that it would be a long, difficult process. James was badly injured and in need of a proper hospital. Elizabeth clung to the doctor’s optimism while she sat in the dark cabin and tried to ignore the guilt that threatened to gnaw a hole in her chest.
The Dauntless was only on a short voyage to bring additional troops to a nearby outpost, which was why Elizabeth had managed to convince James to let her come along. It had been less than a week since she politely accepted his proposal of marriage, and since then her father had not stopped pestering her about a formal announcement, an engagement dinner, and wedding plans. She practically begged her new fiancé to let her come along with him on the Dauntless, just to escape her father’s badgering.
It wasn’t supposed to be dangerous when they went ashore, but their presence disturbed a band of thieves who were camped near the beach. The thieves didn’t appreciate the presence of the Royal Navy so close to their hideout, and they attempted a surprise, if uncoordinated, attack.
Elizabeth could still feel the commodore’s strong hand on her arm, pulling her away from the assailant, and she could still hear his gasp of surprise and pain as the enemy’s knife stabbed him instead. The marines reacted quickly and shot the attacker before he could do any more harm. The rest of the miscreants quickly retreated, and one of the marines escorted Elizabeth away while the other helped James down the beach to the waiting longboat.
Lieutenant Groves was there, and his eyes widened in horror when he saw the blood on the front of the commodore’s uniform. They quickly boarded the longboat and Groves shouted at the marines to take them back to the Dauntless. James closed his eyes and slumped into the bottom of the boat, holding his hand over the bleeding wound.
Elizabeth watched the deep red blood soaking between his fingers, and she felt her whole body shaking. “How bad is it?” she asked.
“Bad,” James said. His voice was strained with the effort of speaking through the pain. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. “I told you to stay in the boat.”
“I’m sorry. I—”
Groves pushed past her and knelt next to James. He carefully moved the commodore’s hand and took over putting pressure on the wound, using the sleeve of his own coat to soak up the blood. James groaned and closed his eyes again.
“Stay with us,” Groves begged. “We’re almost there.”
James was terribly pale, but he nodded to let the lieutenant know he was still conscious.
Groves turned his head to glare at Elizabeth. “What were you thinking?” he demanded.
“I…” Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t know.”
After what felt like hours, but couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, the longboat reached the Dauntless. Groves shouted for the ship’s surgeon as he and one of the marines helped the commodore onto the ship. James managed to stay upright just long enough to turn command over to Groves before he collapsed on the deck.
The men brought James to his cabin, and Doctor Talbot went in with them. Elizabeth was all but ignored. She could only stand helplessly on the deck while the sailors rushed around, making the ship ready to sail for Port Royal and the fort hospital as quickly as possible. She saw Groves speaking with Lieutenant Gillette, and she saw the look of bewildered shock in Gillette’s eyes when he turned to look over at her.
When the doctor had done as much as he could to treat the wound, Elizabeth volunteered to sit with James through the night. She wanted to feel useful, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.
James stirred, then groaned, drawing Elizabeth’s attention back to the bed. He moved again and drew in a sharp breath. Elizabeth got up and went to his side. “James?” she said, gently.
He cracked his eyes open and looked around until his gaze finally settled on her face.
Elizabeth gave him a small, fleeting smile. “How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve been stabbed.” He closed his eyes with a grimace and shifted his body slightly as if trying to find a more comfortable position.
“Don’t try to move,” Elizabeth said. “Doctor Talbot said not to disturb the sutures."
James winced, then lay still.
“The doctor said it’s a clean wound,” Elizabeth continued, hoping he might appreciate hearing the encouraging report. “He doesn’t think it struck anything vital, and he got the bleeding stopped quickly. It’s bad, like you said, but he expects it will heal all right in the end.”
James just sighed. Elizabeth watched his face for a moment and saw evidence of the pain the wound caused him. She hated to see him suffering so much, especially since she knew the injury could have been avoided if not for her own reckless stubbornness. “James, I’m so sorry. If I’d only listened to you—”
“Not now,” he said, shaking his head slightly.
Elizabeth fell silent and just nodded. She could sense his frustration, and she thought some of it must be directed at her. After all, she had ignored his instructions, and they both knew it, and they both knew that was the reason he was lying here with a deep, painful wound. Elizabeth chewed her bottom lip, wishing there was something she could say to ease the tension. Nothing came to mind, so finally she just asked, “Is there anything I can do?”
James sighed and opened his eyes just enough to look up at her. “Water,” he said. “If you don’t mind.”
Elizabeth forced a smile. “Of course,” she said, hoping she sounded more cheerful than she felt. She brought a cup of water and held it so James could drink from it. He slowly sipped the water, then thanked her with a small nod. Elizabeth set the empty cup aside and returned to her chair next to the bed.
“How long are you going to sit there?” James asked.
“I’m watching over you,” Elizabeth said. “Just to make sure…” She stopped, not sure how to say what she was really thinking, or if she even wanted to say it at all.
He held her gaze for a moment, and she could tell he knew where that sentence was going. “I’ll be fine,” he said, and his eyes fell shut again.
Elizabeth watched him and knew he was not fine. He seemed determined to remain as stoic as ever, but the tension in his face betrayed him. “Of course you will,” she said. “But in the meantime, maybe I should get the doctor.”
James hesitated, and for a moment Elizabeth thought he might refuse, but then he glanced over at her and just nodded.
“I’ll be right back.” Elizabeth put her hand on his arm, briefly, then left the cabin and went out onto the deck, where she could see the thin light of morning just beginning on the horizon. The sailors around the ship worked quietly—too quietly. Elizabeth could sense their anxiety as they tried to coax every bit of speed out of the sails.
Lieutenant Groves spotted her and made his way over. “How is he?”
“It’s hard to say,” Elizabeth replied. She hesitated, looking to Groves for some sort of reassurance, but found only a blank, worried stare on the lieutenant’s face. “I think he’s angry with me.”
“Well, I can’t say I blame him.” Groves’ hard gaze made it clear he wasn’t happy with her, either. Then he softened a bit and let out a small sigh. “He’s awake?”
Elizabeth nodded. “He said he feels like he’s been stabbed.”
Groves smiled slightly and looked towards the cabin for a moment. “Well, he sounds like himself,” he said, meeting Elizabeth’s eyes again. “That’s a good sign.”
“I suppose so,” Elizabeth agreed. “He’s in a lot of pain, though. I told him I would fetch the doctor.”
Groves nodded. “Stay with him. I’ll have someone send Doctor Talbot up.”
Elizabeth nodded, biting her lip to hold back tears as her eyes and throat burned with guilt and shame. Groves left, and Elizabeth went back into the cabin, back to James’ side. For a moment, she just watched him, unsure if he was still hanging onto consciousness or if he’d fallen back into a fitful sleep. She hesitantly touched his arm, and he opened his eyes just enough to see her.
“Doctor Talbot’s on his way,” Elizabeth said.
James closed his eyes and nodded.
“Do you want more water?”
He nodded again.
Elizabeth gave him another drink, then sat down next to the bed to wait at his side until the doctor arrived. She watched him quietly, wondering how long he would have suffered silently if she hadn’t offered to fetch the doctor, until finally she couldn’t stand the tense silence any longer. “I really am sorry,” she told him, again.
“So you said,” he mumbled.
“You’re upset.”
James just sighed and shook his head slightly, then winced and lay still again.
Elizabeth looked over at his hand, resting on top of the blankets. She cautiously reached out and held it in hers. He didn’t give any indication that he noticed the gentle touch, but she held onto his hand anyway. She wished she could go back to the moment on the beach and obey his instruction to wait in the boat, but she knew that wasn’t possible. She could only hope it was possible that he might eventually forgive her.