Work Text:
Seane felt a cold prickle on the back of his neck. Acid welled up in his throat, leaving a foul taste in his mouth. The light from the slowly dying lantern was waning, yet it still made behind his eyes throb.
To mask the taste of anxiety he filled his shot glass and swung back the hard liquor before putting the bottle back under his desk.
There was a comfortable 6 years when Seane didn't feel that oppressive heaviness.
First there was his uncle Father Callaghan, then the trials of war, then there was the next priest in his life… Father Josef.
When Josef stayed in Ishida and the McCulloughs went to Anemoi, he was sure that he had gained the liberty to carve out a new life. Without his late wife, but with freedom.
He had not become someone new in that time, but life no longer had the same weight. He could focus on himself and his work and he had made some very important discoveries in that time as well.
Josef immediately became a distraction…
He had complicated feelings around Josef - He was a man of God. The Lord channeled his will through Josef and Josef promised heaven for following his will.
He liked Josef, he thought he had a certain charm. He couldn't quite describe what charm and he didn't know why he felt the way he did, but Seane felt a certain loyalty…
He had to be loyal.
He felt a metaphorical leash clip to his imaginary collar when Josef and company appeared in Aeraki.
Josef knew every single thing about him, from his sins, to his secrets, to his traumas.
He knew him through confessions, the bodies of their shared victims and through submitting his mind to Josef’s hand.
He didn't like to think about what he may have seen in his head. It hurt to think about it and he hated the fact that anyone besides Felix and Oliver knew the more sensitive and private parts of his life
He could ruin him for his crimes.
He could have him put down viciously.
Father Josef did not shy away from reminding him what power he held when he found out that Seane had not been a model Midonian man. Seane had not come to kneel at his feet the day Josef arrived… Josef came to him with a warm hostility and he told him he ought to start behaving. He at least whispered a praise for already slipping into the young prince’s mind and beginning to scratch away natural mental barriers.
Eventually Josef found out about Pierre… It was only a matter of time. Josef always found out about these sorts of things one way or another.
He didn’t need to search someone's mind, nor force the information out through threats, no, he had seen them.
He saw the kind of smile Pierre gave Seane and saw the kiss that Seane placed on the younger man's knuckles when he did not realize the priest was lurking at the door.
When it happened, Seane felt his stomach drop. No words were exchanged between them but he could feel Josef's gaze bore into him. He did not need to say anything. He knew that he had been betraying Josef's will- God's will by that look alone.
He didn't let Pierre leave at first, standing in the way of his wheelchair until Pierre asked the priest to move.
“God be with you,” Josef muttered before letting Pierre cautiously pass. He was hesitant to reply,
“With you as well.”
The priest gave Seane another look before leaving again without mentioning what he had been there to ask of him in the first place.
Pierre and Seane were never ‘serious’ serious. It wasn't like he wanted to put a ring on the man's finger. Of course not, he didn’t want to put a ring on anyone ever again after his dear Ashley died.
Seane had given Pierre everything he needed, but to Seane money was of no concern. To him it was no different than letting a fling have 20 gold, really. Since Pierre refused to live within the castle and Seane needed him closer for his talent in Aerokinetic breathing therapy, he offered to get the young man out of his relative’s house.
But, no matter Seane’s excuses or downplaying his relationship to Pierre, Father Josef would consider it a serious crime. It was a crime that only he could forgive.
It had been 6 years since Josef last ‘forgave’ him.
6 years since he felt fear.
Seane put his forehead into his hand, resting against his office desk. He shrank with each slow foot step towards him. As the endless seconds passed, he stared at the script on the paper he had been working on but it was blurry and unfocused. He had not written anything in the medical abstract for at least an hour now and his pen laid abandoned across the sheet, leaking a bead of ink.
Father Josef's shadow grew as he entered the office and approached, wrapping over the ceiling before joining Seane’s own as he walked around to the doctor’s side.
His growl broke the silence of the office,
“You never told me...”
Josef put his hand just under the back of Seane’s neck and his other on the arm of his chair. Seane’s shoulders twitched at the touch and he swallowed hard. He did not respond or lift his head, so Josef hissed,
“McCullough, I didn't take you for a liar.”
Seane quickly (too quickly) replied, his voice flat and monotone which was typical for him,
“I did not lie.”
“You cannot deceive God. Are you trying to deceive the Lord, Seane?”
“No, Father.”
“But you have not confessed to lying with another man. You hid this from me, Seane…”
Seane clenched his fist and glanced up just enough to catch Josef’s eye. He could hardly see the whites of his eyes. The bottomless dark blue was practically black in the faint firelight of the dying lantern.
His face did not change, but the light reflecting off the paper let Josef see Seane’s fearful narrow pupils.
“What else is burdening you? Tell me, what else you haven't confessed?”
“Nothing else- I… Father, I didn't see confession as necessary.”
“Not NECESSARY!?”
Josef grabbed Seane by the grown out hair at the back of his neck and slammed his head down against the table with a resounding thud.
Seane made a pained, stifled grunt, then placed both his hands on the desk to push upwards with a struggle. For that resistance, Josef tugged his hair to yank his skull up then banged it back down on the papers. A vein severed in Seane’s nose and his work was smeared red.
The hit forced another strained noise out of the surgeon doctor. The force shook the desk and a couple pencils rolled off. A hand sized glass figure of a horse tipped off a delicate wood pedestal and its ear chipped and separated.
Josef pushed Seane’s head to the side so he was forced to look up again.
Dizzy and pain hammering through his skull, Seane breathed hard and quick as Josef's fingers carded through his hair then wrapped around the crown of his head.
He clenched his eyes shut then forced the rest of his body to still, to show his submission.
While he did not physically fight anymore, he did not let his mind give in when he felt the violation of another mental inducement user trying to enter his psyche.
“You will not speak of your sins, so I must apparently pry them from you. Let me unburden you, Seane… you do not want me to have to force my way in, do you?...”
He brought himself down to Seane's level, using his head as leverage. The crushing weight built into an agonizing ache. It made Seane’s breathing grow harder while he tried to maintain his composure and pride.
Josef put his lip to the doctor's ear, breath hot and humid against the shell.
“You know that you don't want me to have to claw it out of you.”
Mental inducement users often struggled to enter the mind of another person with MI, but Josef was very well practiced and Seane was not a strong mental inducement user. While he was good at what he did for his patients, he would have a hard time resisting such an overwhelming force. After all, he had willingly opened his mind up before. He already let the priest in, he just had to dig up the key to his thoughts instead of tunneling through with pure brute force.
Seane’s held back a hitched breath when Josef raised his voice right against his ear,
“DON'T REGRET THIS, SEANE.”
Seane felt himself go completely limp when his will wavered just enough for old neural pathways to be ripped open.
…
Seane’s expression softened in a subtle way when Pierre placed a glass horse in his hand. It looked almost like his own beast in the stable; white with blue splotches. The splotches were not quite in the right places but it was close enough.
It felt rather frivolous, and often comments were made about its absurdity, but Seane's animals were one of the few things that still cared about beyond medicine. He loved his horse, and he loved the decrepit cat he kept in the infirmary. He loved his lab mice for their collective contributions and treated them well.
Pierre laughed and grinned a dumb smile as he told Seane that when he saw it in the market he thought of him. Pierre's smile spread a contentness through the jaded old doctor.
He said that he thought that Seane could use something to decorate his office; it was awfully plain in there after all. No art hung, or pretty clutter... he needed something.
Seane offered to pay him back so Pierre called him stupid.
“It’s a gift,” he said, “so unless you're planning on *me* paying you back everything you've given me, I'm not going to accept anything in return but your company.”
Seane gave him a single tut before muttering quietly,
“I appreciate it.”
…
Josef was sickened… he was pissed.
“How am I supposed to get you into heaven when you’ve let yourself become this- this- FAGGOT!”
He grabbed the fallen glass horse by the neck and broke it across the edge of the desk. Adjusting the rest left his hand, he held the gift like a dagger.
He raised it, and with wicked power he brought it down through Seane's shirt and into the meat of his back.
Seane shot up from his limp state and belted out a yell. The sudden movement after having his brain raddled made him lightheaded and he felt the world move asynchronously to his body in a sickening vertigo. He tried and failed to reach back to grab it, just gripping at wet fabric in a panic until Josef snatched his wrist and pulled him off of his chair.
He hit the floor and the fall dislodged the glass, the bloodied body of the horse tumbling the floor and cracking.
Seane's eyes watered no matter how hard he tried to keep a level of stoicism. No matter how refined his pain tolerance was, It hurt BAD, like the ragged talon of a warring Nidus. ((harpy))
He felt the pouring blood change direction before his mind and sense of up and down caught up. Josef dragged him upwards by the wrist until he sat on his knees before him at his feet.
Josef could feel a tremble in the tendons of Seane’s arm as the fading lantern gave up. There was now only the light from the small window to see the priest looming over him and reaching for his belt
-
Seane never took it well. He had a sensitive gag reflex and Josef was cruel. Josef laughed when Seane's grip on him weakened and he slumped with his head held up by his grip. He doctor was thankful it was so dark, since then the priest could not see the tears that got forced out of the corners of his eyes and the snot and bubbling drool that dripped from his face.
He felt his consciousness slipping until he was allowed to breathe. He wretched and shivered violently, still held up by his hair.
He was ever thankful that Josef did not last long.
-
On his side, Seane laid on the floor with a worse taste in his mouth now. He was humiliated and thoroughly reminded of his place.
It was difficult to get up but he had to eventually... If he just let himself bleed, he might not go into shock but he would probably get an infection. That was a much worse way to go in his expert opinion.
The cold hardwood floor felt nice on his red hot cheek as he stared at the spittle and phlegm and the shattered horse on the floor. Seane's eyes had grown accustomed to the low level of light by then.
He put his hand beside the broken glass and rested his thumb on its head.
As with any imperfect art, the creature was one of a kind. No two horses had the same pattern. There was no replacing it.
There was no point anyways. Josef would break it again, maybe next time over his head.
He exhaled heavily, sniffed, then closed his eyes hard to brace then slowly rolling onto his stomach.
Seane just had to move. He had to get up and he had to move. He kept repeating it like a mantra- a method that got him through the war when he thought he couldn't take another step in the snow. It was a simple request of himself, keeping his mind from spiraling into dissecting and dreading each painful step.
He slid his knee under himself to hold his weight, then reached across and gripped the seat of the chair with his right hand. Careful not to topple the chair down with his weight, he lifted himself up slowly until he could put his arm down on the desk. He kept weight off of his left arm, not wanting to further irritate the wound still leaking down his back. Seane stayed there swaying until he gained his bearings in the dark. The shadows still felt like they were pirouetting around him, dizziness threatening to cause him to collapse. He just had to hang on until the moment passed… then he could move.
Breathing fully stung, so Seane kept his breaths shallow once he was on his feet and shuffling out.
He thanked the Lord that Felix had elected to not move out of the Castle walls when he married his new wife. Felix was the only person that he trusted to help.
His son Callahan would never make it as a surgeon, he was far too twitchy and the boy felt faint around a lot of blood. Besides, he did not want that boy to see him in such a state. It was pathetic enough that he was probably awake and had probably heard his father get beaten and raped. His other son Jeremias was far too young yet to trust with delicate tasks like wound care.
He would consider Gwen's care, but his daughter was not under the Aeraki roof.
Seane grabbed the medical kit he kept ready for room-calls before quickly walking out of the infirmary. He did not forget to first wipe his wet lips across his sleeve to reclaim an ounce of dignity.
The lanterns of the halls were hard to look at, his eyes sluggish to adjust to the change in lightning again. He slunk through the castle halls, past a very concerned looking guard that tried to stop him when he saw the red staining the doctor's torn back. Seane simply raised his hand to dismiss him when he asked if he was alright. The guard was uncertain, but uncomfortably stayed where he was. He would report it in the morning perhaps, but Seane did not care at the moment. He would simply have to deal with questions and making excuses later.
Maybe he'd just say the guard was seeing things.
-
“Felix… get some pants on.”
Felix’s body was curled towards his wife. Her shoulder propped against his chest and he had his arm over her stomach. Their peaceful, nude slumber was interrupted by the doctor unlocking the door then coming inside and wandering to the end of their bed.
Spooked awake, Diane yelled and yanked the blankets up over herself. Felix reacted instinctively, jumping up to flip around and grab his pistol from beside the bed. He raised it and aimed directly at Seane’s head as a warning, before properly registering who had demanded he dress himself.
“Seane!” Felix shouted, putting his pistol back where he grabbed it from. He made sure his confused and scared wife was alright, before kissing her temple and sliding out of bed.
“What the hell is your problem?... Wait- You have A KEY to my room!?” Felix groaned. Seane and Felix had seen each other in the nude many times before, so it was nothing to either of those war-boys. He was more concerned for Diane who had a bit more modesty around men and he was more concerned over reminding himself to get the lock changed. Felix bent down to take his pants from the floor before sliding them on and giving his cousin a withering look.
His eyes widened though when Seane shifted and the dim bedside lantern illuminated the red staining his white cotton shirt.
“...Seane!- What the devil happened?” Felix got himself up much faster and buckled his pants in a hurry.
He opened the air intake of the lantern to get more light then walked over with it in hand so he could see the extent of the damage. Seane just grunted in response while Felix walked around him and shone the light up to his wound.
Upon seeing the ripped, sanguined clothes, Felix sucked air in through his teeth. The blood leaked down Seane’s shirt and began darkening his pants as it seeped past his belt. He touched Seane's shoulder softly as he asked,
“Were you attacked? Did you tell the guards?...”
“Yes, I was and no I didn't- and…" his mouth twitched into a slightly tigher expression,
"Josef did it. I can’t clean this up by myself, so just help me and I'll leave you and your woman alone.”
Felix nodded slowly, sighing and pinching the shirt to pull it up slightly off of the bloodied wound. Seane gritted his teeth and gripped onto the end of the bed frame. He stared ahead at the sheets, not wanting to look Diane in the eye. It was bad enough that the woman was looking at him with such pity.
He peeled the shirt up until he could assist Seane in taking it off fully. Seane unbuttoned it and Felix lifted it off of him as he asked,
“What did he stab you with?... This is rough.”
Seane muttered quietly, almost intelligible before speaking a bit more clearly,
“That horse Pierre gave me… I think there's glass left in the wound, I feel it when I move.”
Felix glanced at Diane, and Diane looked back at him with a cringing frown. Looking back towards Seane, Felix whispered,,
“He found out?..”
“It was only a matter of time…” Seane would have shrugged if he could have without an immediate surge of pain. Instead, he just gripped the wood harder with his left hand.
Walking around the bed to his dresser, Felix fished out a housecoat to bring over to Diane. He draped it over her shoulders and Seane turned his head to offer an ounce of privacy so she could lower her blanket and slide the housecoat on.
With the housecoat protecting her breasts now and the tension simmering down, Diane squinted at Seane and questioned,
“Did Father Josef really do that..?- Why?”
Felix put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head,
“It's complicated. Josef is not the most merciful of Midonians when it comes to… certain transgressions.”
“Because he’s gay?”
Seane clenched his eyes shut and hissed, “I’m not a fag. “
Felix next led him to the side of the bed and made him sit. He put the lantern back on the bedside table then pulled the med pack closer to himself so he could open it on the bed. He pulled out the rag found within then soaked it with the supplied water and then liquid antiseptic. He cleaned it up as best he could.
Seane tried not to shift or squirm much, remaining stoic past his wrinkled nose and furrowed brows as it stung.
With stubborn indignation, Diane continued,
“You can't just let that happen to you… you need to tell the Crown. The Aeraki wouldn't appreciate their surgeon getting attacked by some crazy priest.”
Seane turned his head towards her and scoffed. She knew nothing about the priest and it showed in that single suggestion. Felix didn't say anything… he just focused on the task in front of him.
Next was tweezers to remove the shards. Felix knew he couldn't get everything but he mostly worried about the larger chunks that would inhibit healing.
“Im serious,” she continued, balling the sheets on her lap in her fists, “I almost don't want Felix to go to those sermons now…”
Seane grunted, speaking from behind gritted teeth, “Felix tell your woman to shut her mouth…”
Felix frowned up at him and then glanced to Diane, shaking his head, “we'll talk about this all later, love."