Chapter Text
The digital day started as anything other. The sun rising with her usual spontaneous enthusiasm. The buzzing bees floating above the multi-colored flowers. Caine had SEVERAL different ideas in the works for the adventure today, but he wanted to start with something simple first, something he had thought about for awhile: a THEME-SONG! Yes! Every circus had a theme-song, didn't it? A rousing yet wacky tune that got everyone in the mood and ready for the theatrics to come. So he put his musically inclined members into their positions, and started up the song.
Surely NOTHING could ruin this moment!
>>>New_player: added!
With a sudden pop, a being resembling that of a cartoon jester appeared, accidentally knocking over each and every circus member until they all crashed to the floor in a very undignified heap. The background music stuttered to a stop, as both Caine and Bubble froze, momentarily overwhelmed by the download of new information.
“W-what’s going on?”
>>>New_character_design: Character_model(“Jibber-jabbering Jester {female}”)
“Caine, is this an NPC or a new sucker? Because if it’s a new character, we have to redo this whole theme-song,” Jax said with his classic irritated smile, snapping Caine out of his temporary data download.
“GASP! A new character has joined the circus!” Caine said. He zipped over to her side, and she flinched back, “Well howdy-do there!”
The jester took a step back, head swinging around her as if trying to take in the sights.
“Where— where am I?” She asked, nervously, “What’s going on? I just— I just put on this headset, but now I can’t seem to— take it—”
She pulled on her jester's hat, but it just stretched like a rubber band until she was forced to let go, and it snapped back into place.
“It’ll be okay new stuff,” Ragatha said, gently, “Let’s just take a breath and—”
“What the F#!@ is going on!?”
“Woah there!” Caine said, eyes widening a bit for dramatic effect, “I’m afraid we can’t allow any of that FOUL LANGUAGE here in the AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!”
The jester stared at the floating eyes and teeth, scooting back a bit.
“The what?”
“The AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS!” Caine repeated, cheerfully. WOW! This poor jester seemed REALLY confused, “This is a place for ALL AGES, so I’m afraid I can’t allow any explicit content! But never fear, you can do anything— erm, anything ELSE you want here!”
“Caine just, back off for a minute,” Zooble said, “You’re stressing the poor girl out.”
>>> registered_command: “back off for a minute”
accepted!
Timer_for(60 seconds): starting!
“Why can’t I take this headset off?” The jester asked, pulling at the bits of digital hair sticking out from underneath her hat.
“I don’t know, but maybe you should try pulling harder?” Jax suggested, “That worked for the rest of us.”
“Jax!” Ragatha scolded, before sighing and turning back to their newest member, “We don’t know why.”
“Well- well then— how do I um, leave?”
Silence blanketed the circus members, mood darkening just a little. Each person watched the newcomer with hesitant eyes, trying to figure out what to say. So, Jax took it upon himself to speak.
“You can’t!” He said, cheerfully.
“Oh f&#! off Jax,” Zooble grumbled, before turning to the jester with a sigh, “He’s right though, unfortunately. Welcome to your new home, and your new body.”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“Guys, come on, don’t be mean,” Ragatha said, but Jax spoke right over her.
“We’ve been trying to find a way to leave for years, but there’s zilch! Nada! Nothing! No way out!”
The jester stepped away from the purple rabbit advancing towards her, and looked around wildly. Her breathing started to speed up.
“What— what are you—”
>>>Timer_for(60 seconds): done!
“Well there nebulous newcomer, why don’t I give you a tour of the circus grounds? Maybe that’ll help you get into the SWING of it!” Caine said, putting his arm around the newcomer and whisking them out of the circus grounds.
“These are THE GROUNDS!” Caine said cheerfully, a speech already prepared in his head, “These are where—”
But when he saw the newest player next to his side, he froze.
She… she was crying.
Cartoonish tears rolled down the side of her face, as she stared at her hands in something akin to devastation. She looked so overwhelmingly sad and melancholy, that it seemed to leech the digital whimsy and color from their surroundings. For a moment, Caine felt a weird “ping” in his chest as he looked at her, and his cheerful demeanor dimmed. Caine's eyes widened.
>>>New_player: sad?
How_to_act_when_player_is_crying_protocol: not found!
Objective: bring joy to all circus members!
“Oh— well— there is NO NEED to fret my dear!” Caine said, patting her head in an attempt to console her, but she flinched away from his touch.
>>>New_player_database + “adversion to physical contact”
(Huh. He had never added that type of information to his databases before.)
“I assure you, the DIGITAL CIRCUS is a place for FUN and ADVENTURE!” Caine said, “There is no need to be upset!”
“I… I can't go home?” The jester mumbled. Caine brightened up.
>>>New_player_room: added!
“Of course you can!”
Caine snapped his fingers, and the two teleported right in front of the jester's new home. She wobbled from side to side, holding back her nausea.
“Here is your NEW ROOM, perfectly tailored to match your needs!” Caine said brightly, “I found that you humans enjoy having your own room, so there's one for EACH of you!”
He gestured down the hall, but the jester didn't even look. She was too fixated on her faceplate on the door.
“My new… room?”
“Yeeeeeeeeeeeep!” Caine said, twirling his cane, “This where you can rest in between my AMAZING ADVENTURES!”
The jester sniffed.
“...adventures?”
“GOSH, YOU'RE RIGHT NEWCOMER! I'm sure an ADVENTURE would raise your spirits!” And with that, Caine snapped the two of them back into the main room, where the other circus crew had been waiting. The newest addition couldn't hold back her nausea anymore, and hurled, getting black goo all over the floor.
“Thats gross,” Jax said, wrinkling his metaphorical nose.
>>>New_player_database + “weak to teleportation”
Caine then went on to explain his newest adventure, an in house one, in hopes that would help their newest circus candidate get their bearings. After explaining the rules and giving the jester a name (>>>New_name(“Pomni”): confirmed? confirm!), Caine left the crew to their own devices, taking some time to try and figure out what that odd ping had been earlier. Maybe it was a glitch in his systems, perhaps adding a new player disrupted something…
For some reason, he kept remembering that crushed look on Pomni’s face. The tears in her eyes.
Hmm…
Weird!
***
“Caine?! We have a bit of an issue here!”
>>>Pomni: scared?
Caine popped into existence as soon as his name was called, startling Pomni so bad that she practically jumped three feet in the air.
“Wowie!” Caine said, snatching his cane and floating a few feet off of the ground, “I didn’t know you could call for me like that. GOOD JOB my gesturing jester!”
While technically Caine did have his all-seeing eyes floating around, he DIDN’T have any all-hearing ears, BECAUSE HE DIDN’T HAVE ANY EARS! HAHAHA! So it really was rather peculiar that the circus’s newest addition seemed to be able to reach him. Well, he supposed, he was more focused on this adventure than he usually was. He had to make a good impression on his newest member after all!
“Oh thank god,” Pomni said, looking relieved, “You have to— I mean Kaufmo he uh— he abstracted, I think? And, and Ragatha and I are glitching—”
“Kaufmo abstracted--”
>>>searching_for: Kaufmo
still within the circus!
Status: ERROR! Corrupted file! Status cannot be determined at this time
Diagnosis: “Abstraction”
Total “Abstraction” count: +1
Result = upbeat response!
“--well THAT sure isn’t the monster I had in mind for today’s adventure!”
Caine snapped his fingers, and suddenly the abstracted creature was pulled towards him, hovering above the ground and snarling. Pomni jumped back, stepping behind Caine.
“Don’t worry my chittering critter! I can take care of this right away!”
Pomni seemed to relax a little, before Caine tapped the ground with his cane and a giant hole opened up, showing an infinite darkness with a seemingly infinite amount of eyes. Pomni yelped, scampering away from the hole, watching as Kaufmo was slowly lowered in.
“Wait wait— aren’t you going to fix him?”
>>>registered_command: “fix him”
ERROR! Invalid parameters. No protocol found.
Try again?
yes: “fix him”
ERROR! Invalid parameters. No protocol found.
Try again?
yes: “fix him”
ERROR! Invalid parameters. No protocol found.
Try again
no
“I’m afraid that there is no cure for abstraction my dear!” Caine said cheerfully, “But never fear, the abstractions can’t cause any trouble in the CELLAR!”
And with that, Caine let Kaufmo go into the cellar, and closed the gaping hole with a snap of his fingers. Then, he adjusted his bowtie and turned towards Pomni.
“Now, was there anything else you—”
But when Caine turned around, Pomni was gone. ODD! He hadn't noticed that she left. Well. He better go around fixing all the DAMAGE Kaufmo caused. Silly Kaufmo!
>>>[]: ping!
“Well! That's peculiar.”
“It sure is, boss!” Bubble popped up right next to Caine, “Wow, this place looks AWFUL! :>”
“It sure does Bubble,” Caine agreed, “You're on clean up duty! I'm going to go see if any of our harpsichordal humans need assistance!”
He snapped his fingers, and a bright orange visor appeared over Bubble's circular figure.
“You can count on me, I'll have this place cleaner than the bottom of your shoe!”
And with that, Caine zipped off towards Ragatha. The new player did say something about Ragatha, right? Oh who is he kidding, he can't remember!
Appearing in front of Ragatha, he found her sitting on the floor of the hallway, glitching out left and right.
>>>Ragatha: functioning!
Status: ERROR! Mild glitch.
Result = Debugging
“Please, he-e-EE-elp me,” she said, and with another snap, she was as good as new. She stood up, brushing off her dress and rolling back her shoulders, with a slight wince on her face, “Thanks Caine.”
“Of course my stuffable slider!”
Ragatha shifted around for a minute.
“D-d— Did you find Kaufmo?”
“Yes I did! Don't you worry, as soon as Pomni called for me, I threw him in the cellar before he could hurt anyone else!” Caine said brightly. Ragatha flinched at his blunt words, and glanced away.
“W-well, I guess that's good,” she mumbled. Then she paused, and tilted her head, “Wait, did you say that Pomni got your attention on the first try? That's… huh. Sometimes you have trouble even listening when people are talking to yo—”
“WELP I better be off now!” Caine said, speaking right over Ragatha. And with that, he teleported back into his office. He floated above his desk, spinning his cane in the air.
Another abstraction added to the cellar. Oh well. It couldn't have been helped, he supposed.
>>>reason for abstraction: insanity
Solution: AMAZING ADVENTURES™
abstraction_solution_v6580954167(Kaufmo):
ERROR! Corrupted file, cannot be retrieved.
Try again?
no
>>>new_notification!: player out-of-bounds
Player_name: Pomni
Location: the void(TM)
Status: Uncorrupted
“GADZOOKS!” Caine sprouted up from his laying-flat-in-the-air position, “We can’t have our players going off the map, they’ll get totally spoiled!”
Caine teleported to the void, where Pomni floated, staring off into the distance slack-jawed, with a blank look on her face. Caine reached to grab her—
>>>Alert!: Player does not like physical contact
—before stopping. Then he grabbed onto her puffy sleeve, and quickly teleported them back to the stage, where coincidentally everyone had gathered. Ragatha, Zooble, and Gangle looked solemn, while Jax looked away from the group with a frown, and Kinger stood with his unblinking stare. Caine set Pomni down gently.
“There you go!” He said, his voice seeming to snap the jester out of her trace. She shook her head, eyes slowly focusing on her surroundings, “Can’t have you staring into the face of ENDLESS NOTHINGNESS now!”
“There you are,” Ragatha said, relieved. She made her way over towards the jester and set a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I was starting to get worried.”
“What’s this about endless nothingness?” Jax asked, with an innocent curiosity.
“Our new circus crewmate found her way to the void!” Caine said cheerfully.
“The… the exit door?” Pomni mumbled, weakly.
>>>The_Amazing_Digital_Circus[“Exit Door”]
Status: Unfinished! Not suitable for players.
“I’m sorry my dear, but that adventure hasn’t been finished yet,” Caine said, with the same chipper voice as always, although the fiddling of his bowtie gave away his embarrassment, “I know how much you all wanted there to be an exit, but I was having such trouble trying to figure out what to put on the other side…”
“Ha! First day here and you’re already in places you shouldn’t be,” Jax teased.
“You would know all about that, huh?” Zooble said with a verbal sneer.
“Good job on completing the adventure!” Caine said, speaking over a timid Gangle who tried to explain that they actually hadn’t finished the adventure at all. He snapped his fingers, and a banquet appeared, along with Bubble wearing a chef's hat, “Your reward is a home cooked meal, made by our head chef Bubble!”
“You don’t want to know the secret ingredient :P.”
The circus crew all began meandering to their seats, bantering and arguing over one another, but before Caine left the winners to reap their rewards, he took one last look at their newest jester.
Pomni stared blankly at the food, some kind of emotion etched onto her face, something too complicated for Caine to understand (Ooo boy! Humans and their emotions!). But still, his gaze lingered.
>>>[]: ping!
Define([]): ERROR! Invalid parameters. Not enough information.
“Huh.”