Chapter Text
Pomni woke up in an empty room. Wait Pomni woke up in an empty room. Jax had left, she supposed she shouldn’t be to surprised. Last night she was able to get Jax to admit he liked her. Which was one more step to getting under the fake persona of nonchalance and cartoon violence. To be fair she sort of cheated, but having him say it out loud was good enough for now.
What was her plan you ask? The answer is absolutely nothing. She had no idea what she was supposed to do, and she didn’t know how to do it right. All she knew was Jax liked her and she needed to prevent anyone else from abstracting. After their fight Pomni could tell he had been losing it, so if this is what kept him grounded then so be it.
The first thing of sense Kinger ever said to her was that the worst thing anyone can feel here, is like they aren’t wanted or loved. Jax had pushed away the rest of the circus members either making them hate him or fear him. But Pomni had seen people like this before. He didn’t do it out of malice, he did it for survival. It was true she didn’t know much about what happened to Ribbit but it clearly affected him.
The moment Jax told her they were never friends every light bulb flicked on and all the dots connected. Jax was afraid of feeling human.
The only way she knew how to conquer fear was by facing it head on. Not that she was very good at that either… if she was being honest she didn’t know if encouraging Jax to be honest with himself would help at all. She hoped it would, because right now it was all she had.
Pomni’s body seemed to not have reset from the night before, her throat was sore. Something about the feeling was nice… she decided not to think too hard about why.
She had the whole day ahead of her so she got dressed, this time finding a sweater in her closet she hadn’t noticed before. It was split down the middle red and blue, with zigzag stripes and diamond shapes across the collar and shoulders. She also found a pair of dark blue plaid pants that came with a yellow belt. She never thought she’d be so thankful for more clothing options. The outfit wasn’t too dissimilar to what she would’ve worn in the real world.
When she left her room she found the whole group, no scratch that, everyone but Jax lingering around the living room. Each of them in slightly different clothes except for Kinger. Ragatha had a yellow dress on. Zooble had a loose T-shirt and black cargo shorts that were covered in chains and spikes. Gangle was wearing a pink hoodie that looked like it had some non-specific animal on the hood. Ragatha and Kinger were playing a card game, as Pomni approached Ragatha’s eyes flicked up to look at her. “Hey guess what Pomni? Caine said he needs an extra day to build this adventure so we just get to chill at home today!”
Pomni heard what she said but she was too focused on what to do with Jax. Could she get him to open up more? Would they end up arguing? Would Jax end up flipping her over his desk and- her simulated knees felt a little wobbly at that thought. Before she remembered she was supposed to respond to Ragatha, Pomni heard her speak, “Do you want me to deal you in?”
“No I’m okay, I’m just going to lay down I have a headache.” She wasn’t sure if headaches were even a thing in the circus but it seemed like an adequate excuse for Ragatha to let her leave.
Pomni beelined for Jax’s door stopping just before she started to knock his door swung open. He still looked decently disheveled, seems like he missed a reset too. He was in a pair of low rise pink sweatpants and a loose dark purple band-tee that was for a band that definitely didn’t exist. Jax smirked down at her with no hesitation, “We have gotta stop meeting like this.” He walked back into his room seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to do before Pomni came to his door.
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Jax woke up in the middle of the night or at least it was still dark when he did. Pomni was nuzzled into his bare chest breathing so softly. Damn it. He felt so good, so warm, so safe, so happy. As the good feelings washed over him he began to cry. Just a few tears fell from his face as he felt anxiety creep into his mind.
He needed to get out of here. The last thing he wanted right now was for Pomni to wake up and see him crying. So despite every comforting feeling coating the crevasses of his brain he ever so slowly moved Pomni off of him. Replacing his body with a pillow which Pomni quickly cuddled up to. Thank god.
He sloppily redressed himself and looked over at Pomni one last time before leaving. The hallway was quiet. Really really quiet. A stark contrast to the day time which even when empty always had some weird circusy music playing. The overhead lights were off and the only lights were the small lamps that sat outside each of their rooms. He strolled casually over to his own room locking himself inside.
He searched through his dresser for some of the more comfortable clothes, Caine had given them some after Jax bugged him about it. Eventually finding a pair of sweats and a baggy tee-shirt. As he laid in his bed he tried to fall asleep. But instead found himself staring at the ceiling.
This was not the plan. None of this was part of the plan. His only motive for befriending Pomni at all was to piss off Ragatha. That was the original plan.
What if he had it all wrong? All this time he thought if he just played into the game, lost himself in the character he’d be safe. But Zooble had gotten plenty close with Gangle lately and it’s not like they’ve abstracted. Yet…
How would he even drop the character he’s become? He felt more and more like he couldn’t remember who he used to be. If he wasn’t “Jax” who was he, just some asshole who couldn’t be honest with himself. Why was Pomni so god damn keen on seeing through it? She got him to say he liked her, but she never said it back. Shit, she wouldn’t just do this to fuck with him right? That would be some wild fucking revenge. She had to think she was helping but hell, she doing anything but.
That’s not fair.
She was helping, Jax had never liked the calm before. Chaos was part of the circus, it was easy to absorb himself in. Chaos kept the memories out, but being held sorta kept the memories out too.
No, you know what fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck her for getting under his skin like this. Fuck her for finding his weak spots. Fuck the fact he couldn’t sleep because all he could think about was how badly he wanted to crawl back to her room and admit every feeling he didn’t even realize he had.
Something about the warm feeling in his chest made him sick. Jax never, never let himself be loved before. Why the hell would he start now?
Because she made it all seem so simple. Pomni was easy to love, she was funny, witty, smart, and everything about her was so damn cute. Jax couldn’t wrap his head around why in the world Pomni would like him, why she would do any of this for him. Maybe she was as desperate as he was for the affection, or maybe she really did see something in him. Something Jax had tried to bury years ago.
As he tossed and turned flitting in and out of sleep. Jax saw the lights from the hall turn on, meaning the night cycle was over. They didn’t really need sleep, it’s not like they could go any more crazy than they all already felt. But Jax wanted the sleep, he wanted to have his brain turn off for a while. So finally when he closed his eyes he drifted off.
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He couldn’t have slept for more than 30 minutes before he woke up again. This time accepting defeat he rolled out of bed. Taking a deep breath before opening his door to be met by none other than the five foot tall Jester herself.
She looked… cute. Her sweater looked comfortable, and she had her hair out of the jester hat instead her hair was half tied up in a ponytail. If her eyes weren’t most of her face she would look almost human, and it made Jax melt in ways that pissed him off.
“We have gotta stop meeting like this.” Jax snickered as he led Pomni into his room. As the door closed neither of them moved, the silence was dense and awkward. “What’d you want Pom-pom?”
“Oh,” Pomni sat on top of the small table near a bookshelf. “I don’t know, Ragatha told me Caine’s working on an adventure for tomorrow so we can just hangout for today.”
“Cool.” Jax rubbed his eyes, fuck he was so tired and his hips felt sore. Did Caine forget to reset them or something? Jax scanned Pomni, he couldn’t see any visible marks on her neck but he wasn’t sure he’d given her any the night before. It took a little while before Jax realized they were both just staring at each other, each sifting through thoughts neither said out loud.
“Could we talk?” Pomni’s hands were shaking, and Jax fought to respond earnestly.
“Sure.” He leaned against his bed frame fighting the urge to grit his teeth.
“I want to make sure you’re okay, I know this has been a weird way of going about it, but I’m serious. After the awards show you looked-“ Jax’s shoulders grew tight and he clenched his hands. “I’m just worried about you, I don’t want you to feel alone.”
Jax could feel his heart in his head. “I’m fine.” When had his leg started bouncing? “I was just being a dick for the fun of it. I didn’t mean for it to get all personal.”
Pomni looked at him hard and bit her lip like she didn’t believe him. “Is there anything I can do?”
His shoulders fell, defeated. “Just, what you’ve been doing is fine. Call me on my shit, but don’t expect me to change overnight.”
“What would I expect you to change?”
Jax sighed walking towards her, “I’m not going to be sweet to you,” his tone was harsh and bitter. “I’m not going to hold your hand or ask you how you’re feeling.” His heart was thudding hard now. “I don’t want you to think this means anything. You haven’t ‘figured me out’, and you won’t because there is nothing for you to find. This happened because you prompted me. So don’t start thinking you’ll be excluded from dealing with my bullshit, in fact you’ll probably get the brunt of it.” He crossed his arms, satisfied with his explanation.
“Okay,” she hesitated, “but you can’t expect me to stop pushing. The only way you’ll get me to back off is if you tell to straight up, and mean it.”
Jax swallowed “Fine.”
Pomni’s eyes flickered as a kind smile grew across her face. “That means you’ll have to deal with it if I do this.” She closed the distance between them and cupped his face in her hand. Such a soft, sweet gesture, Jax wanted to ruin it.
“And you’ll have to deal with it when I do this.” He grabbed her by the waist fast and strong holding her impossibly close.
Her voice got soft and quiet, “And when I do this.” She kissed him tenderly melting into him.
Jax could feel his body aching to fall into it, and screaming at him to kick her off. But he stayed and when she pulled away and pressed their foreheads together he figured out how to fix this gushy mess. “And when I tell you to get on the fucking bed so I can pound you into my damn mattress?”
Jax released her from his hold. She made her way to laying on his bed, stripping her shirt as she did so. Jax did the same as he crawled over her predatorily licking his lips. He had caged her in completely and he watched as she shuddered.
As first he trailed his hands tenderly, tracing his finger down the side of her waist, but then he shifted his head down to her chest and bit. Biting just above where her bra sat, almost hard enough to be uncomfortable. Pomni flinched and squirmed, but just as the sensation came it left. He licked over the bite mark sucking it, earning a sigh from her. Jax continued to leave hickeys all over her chest, eventually removing the rest of her clothes. Teasing and poking and prodding until he had enough, putting his fingers against the opening of her mouth.
“Open.” Pomni’s eyes went wide, she opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out slightly. “Suck.” Jax’s voice was demanding and suggestive. Pomni moaned as she sucked his fingers, letting her eyes close slightly. When Jax was satisfied he removed his hand and started circling her clit. Pomni practically yelped, then grinded back onto his hand moaning desperately. “Ugh, shut up.” Jax flashed a devious smile as he increased the speed of his hand.
Pomni tried to bite her lip and stay quiet but every breath came out like a whine. “Please~” she plead, but she wasn’t really sure what she was asking for.
Jax ignored her and slipped his fingers inside, pumping into her fast and deep. Pomni’s moans picked up in sound again and Jax used his unoccupied hand to cover her mouth. “You’re so fucking loud. Y’know someone could hear you.” Without realizing Pomni clenched around him, “Oh… wow.” Jax slowed down and began an agonizing, teasing pace tracing his finger around her clit. “Do you want someone to hear just how horny you are for me?” Her eyes rolled back and she moaned into his hand. “Anyone could be out there right now, Zooble, Gangle… Ragatha. What would she think if she heard you like this?”
Despite the slow pace Pomni was shaking like she was on the edge but Jax continued to slow, eventually stopping his movement all together. She whimpered and squirmed aching for friction. In response Jax removed the hand covering her mouth and grabbed her hips forcing them still. “Jaxxx, c’mon~” She took fistfuls of the sheets.
“I thought I told you already. I am going to fuck you into this mattress.” The sound that Pomni made after that had Jax questioning why he ever did anything other than this. “Turn over onto your stomach.”
Once she had settled Jax guided her hips up in the air ever so slightly and pulled down his sweats to let his cock out. All the attention he had been giving her almost made him forget just how hard he was, it almost hurt. He lined himself up with her and pushed all the way in. Pomni who now had a pillow to muffle her moans into groaned freely and shuddered.
“Ah, fuck you feel so good.” The warm wetness soothed the aching of his cock and he fucked into her mercilessly. Speeding up and slowing down when he started to feel a little too close. Taking handfuls of her ass, fistfuls of her hair, sucking hickeys into the crook of her neck. “Mm, now that I think of it I wanna hear how good I’m making you feel. Turn your head out.”
Once she did the room began to fill with sharp moans that were in time with their bodies slapping together. Her pussy was clenching on him so tight and he could get so deep inside her from this angle. He could tell he wouldn’t be able to last much longer, it was all just so good. He could also tell that she was close too. “You want me to fill you up again Pom Pom?”
At those words she clenched impossibly tighter on him, “Mmm, please, please, please… plea-“ her voice getting higher and louder. The moment Jax reached around her leg to press against her clit she cried out and it didn’t take long at all before she was cumming on his cock.
Jax was spewing a string of curses, “ah- oh fuck yes, damn you’re so good. Fuck I wanna fuck all my cum into you, you’re so good for me. This pussy is fucking mine-“ He came and his mind went blank, nothing but pleasure and relief.
They took a minute for their heart rates to go down. Jax slowly pulling out, watching as his cum spilled out of her. “God that’s hot.” He gathered up the cum that was dripping from her with his fingers and pressed it back into her.
“Ah-“ Pomni yelped then relaxed again, “fuuck~”
Jax almost condescendingly, patted her ass. “Lemme find something to clean you up.” Jax had to force himself away from her to dig through his drawers for a moment before finding a towel. He carefully wiped her over a few times before tossing the towel into a small trash can near his mirror.
Pomni turned herself over and found her sweater and underwear in the pile of clothes that had found their way to the floor. Jax decided against putting his shirt back on for the time being. Instead he gestured for Pomni to move down the bed so he could climb behind her, leaving her sitting between his legs. She rested her back against his bare chest and he placed his head on her shoulder.
They sat like that for a little while before Pomni broke the silence, “So do you wanna do anything with the rest of the day?”
“Meh, not really.” Jax curled his arms around her waist. “I’m still kinda horny.”
Pomni laughed and lightly elbowed his knee. “We can stay here for a little while longer, but we really should go see the others. They know I’m awake, and that I was looking for you so they’ll probably start to wonder eventually.”
“Why? You wanna give them a show?” Jax spoke all sultry and slick.
“And nope, you’ve lost your cuddling privileges.” Pomni pulled to get out of his grip.
“Nooooo, please. I’ll stop I swear.”
She sighed and relaxed again, “Fine, but you’re on thin ice.”