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When The Saints Go Marching In

Summary:

Nick, Coach, Rochelle, and Ellis never could have anticipated the Green Flu hitting Savannah. They never could have anticipated CEDA leaving them for dead on the rooftop of a burning building. And they certainly couldn't have anticipated the weird sights they'd encounter on the long, bloody road to New Orleans.

A Left 4 Dead 2 Wiki Warrior fic.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Nick - I

Chapter Text

Nick should've known better than to stick around Savannah for one more day.

He'd already been cutting it closer than he preferred. Word tended to spread fast when a new face in town started hitting hot streaks. From the way the other players at the table last night had been looking at him, it was obvious that they'd started to suspect something was up. If he kept pushing it, there was a good chance his new associates would start asking for their money back.

There was a reason Nick didn't go to Atlantic City these days. In his line of work, earning a reputation was not a good thing.

But he'd gotten greedy. The money was good. Too good. Every time he walked onto one of those riverboats, he walked out with a boatload of cash for his troubles. The locals were practically begging him to sweep the tables clean. If they couldn't figure out when someone was counting cards, or performing a bit of sleight-of-hand, then they didn't deserve to get mad when they lost their shirts.

It didn't matter at the time. Just one more game, and he'd have had the money to leave. Not to settle down, god no, but enough to get him somewhere where his reputation hadn't caught up with him yet. Maybe Tampa, or Houston. A city where the drinks were cold, the women were beautiful, and the mob didn't want to drag him into an unlit alley.

Then some blood-covered monster broke down the door of his motel room at ass-o'clock in the morning, and everything kept going downhill from there.

All the money he'd been piling up? Long gone by now. He'd barely had time to throw on his suit before he had to run for his life. It might've been better if it had been the mob trying to shake him down. Now he was out twenty thousand dollars, all stuck in some zombie-filled shithole in the middle of the 'burbs.

Then again, 'zombie-filled shithole' could describe most of Savannah at that moment. It looked like the entire city was falling apart around him: cars were crashing on almost every street, crowds of people and zombies were running around everywhere, and pillars of black smoke filled the sky. Everything looked like a goddamn warzone.

Nick had heard rumors about what was going on in New England. Everyone had. Some scary new disease hitting New York and Philly, quarantines being ordered, CEDA moving around to help out. It hadn't seemed that important at the time, and the few tidbits he picked up from the news made it sound like it was starting to be brought under control.

Well, that definitely wasn't the case now. So much for a quick, quiet exit.

Even then, he'd still thought he had a chance. Dozens of helicopters were flying overhead every minute, hovering around like vultures. Some of them had been blasting out directions over loudspeakers, telling whoever was left where the closest evac centers were and to run like hell to them before they were overrun. Not all of the directions were helpful. Most of the sites were either too far away or in parts of town he had no idea how to get to.

The Vannah had seemed like his best bet. Just a few blocks away from where he'd been hiding. Located in a part of town that wasn't completely overrun by the freakshow, just mostly. It was a more pricey hotel than he usually stayed the night in, but it wasn't like he was planning on checking in for long.

Nick should've known it was a terrible idea when he saw that part of the building was already on fire. But by then, there was already a mob of freaks approaching from the highway, and he could still hear a helicopter on the roof. All he needed was for his luck to hold out one last time. The rest of the building could burn down afterwards, for all he cared, as long as his ass was safe and sound on the ride out.

ding!

[6-18: Fire Extinguisher - Hand-held cylindrical fire suppression devices, commonly found in both military and civilian facilities as a means to extinguish or control small fires. Several fire extinguishers have been left on the rooftop of the Vannah, fully charged and filled with a more powerful suppressant than common models.]

[4-10:
Soldier Uniform - Common apparel utilized by Pre-War United States Armed Forces personnel, colored in a universal camouflage pattern. One of these uniforms has been left behind on the rooftop of the Vannah, in decent, but not great, condition.]

[3-15:
Quickshooter - An antique top-break Smith & Wesson Model 3 revolver, chambered to fire a .44 cartridge. A fully-loaded and fully-functional version of this revolver has been left behind at the Vannah evacuation site, along with a small stockpile of ammunition.]

Instead, he found himself climbing all the way to the goddamn roof just to be met with the sight of the last flight out of Savannah leaving him behind.

"HEY, COME BACK, THERE'S STILL PEOPLE HERE!"

Well, him and the three other schmucks who'd climbed all those steps with him.

"COME ON, MAN! COME BACK…ah, shit. Goddamn whirlybird left without us," one of them groaned. Some hick with a yellow shirt and blue coveralls, young and way too goddamn loud to be shouting right next to Nick's ear. Nick took the opportunity to take a step away while the kid was moping. He didn't need tinnitus on top of a zombie apocalypse.

…wait, did he seriously call the helicopter a whirlybird? Who the hell-

"Oh, shit, this is not happening. Did they seriously just leave us behind?" Another person spoke up. A girl this time, about his age, dressed in jeans and some sort of pink band t-shirt. Not a bad looker, but Nick was aware enough to recognize that this situation was the worst possible time to try his luck.

"Looks like it. Son of a bitch," the last person spoke up. The guy was tall, old, and looked like he'd enjoyed a few more cheeseburgers than was probably healthy. With how much the guy had complained about climbing all those stairs, Nick was surprised he'd made it all the way up to the roof.

Just the sort of people Nick wanted to get stuck with in a zombie apocalypse. Shit.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, something close by took the opportunity to blow up at that moment, making the ground shake under his shoes. Looking towards the edge of the rooftop, it was obvious that the smoke was getting a lot thicker than it had been fifteen minutes ago. Those fires on the lower levels were still spreading. The longer they stayed here, the more likely they'd burn to a crisp.

Nick glanced around the rooftop, looking for…hell, he didn't know. A radio? A flare gun? A regular gun, either for the zombies or for himself?

As it turned out, there were some guns right next to the door, lying on a folding table someone had set up. One of them was a semi-auto with some sort of attachment at the end of the barrel. A flashlight, if he had to guess. The other one was a revolver that looked like a museum piece, covered in scratched brass paneling. It looked like it would fall apart if he touched it.

There were also a few other supplies left lying around. A crowbar, a fire axe, some medkits, and even a few fire extinguishers. It was definitely too late to keep the building from burning down, but hey, maybe they'd be useful for clearing a path downstairs. Someone had also left some army clothes lying in a pile, but Nick ignored those. They clearly hadn't done the army any good.

CEDA must've been storing supplies here for the evacuees before they gave up on the Vannah. It didn't make up for leaving him behind, but at least it gave him a fighting chance.

Nick walked quickly towards the table, snatching up the pistol before anyone else could grab it for themselves. A quick check of the magazine showed that it was still loaded. The metal was cold, heavy, and comforting in his hand. Exactly the sort of thing he needed in a time like this.

"Alright, the helicopter's gone and the building's still on fire. Anybody got a plan B?" Nick asked, looking at the others. "Because I don't think yelling after the chopper will make the pilot turn around."

The girl and the kid didn't look that confident. Instead, it was the old guy who spoke up, still looking towards where the helicopter had gone. "I might. There's a mall not too far from here. Heard they turned it into another evac center. I'll bet that chopper's headin' there."

"Oh, yeah, Liberty Mall, right?" The kid spoke, perking up again. "Yeah, I know what you're talkin' about. Maybe we can catch another whirlybird down there."

"It's not a-" Nick cut himself off, gritting his teeth. This wasn't the time to argue about stupid nicknames for vehicles. "You know what, good enough for me. Any of you guys have weapons on you? Because I'm guessing we'll run into stragglers on the way down."

The girl shook her head. "I wasn't really planning on getting caught in a situation like this. How about you, fancy man? Have some extra guns to spare?" She asked, looking at the pistol in Nick's hand with a raised eyebrow.

In response, Nick pointed back towards the table. "First come, first serve, sweetheart. Now hurry up, grab a weapon and let's get moving before this building burns down."

The kid was the first one to move, snatching up the revolver with a disturbing amount of cheer. "Aw, man, this looks like one of them guns in those Wild West movies! Man, that reminds me of the time my buddy Keith went out to Texas for one of them reenactment things. Tried gettin' into a showdown using prop revolvers with some of the actors, only it turns out one of the people he was talkin' to was actually a wanted murderer-"

"Not the time for this, boy," the old man interrupted, moving to pick up one of the fire extinguishers. As he did so, he sighed, shaking his head. "Climbed all the way up here, and now we're climbin' all the way back down. Lord, what a day."

If nothing else, Nick could agree with that. And Nick had the distinct feeling it was going to get worse before it got better.



It did get worse. Almost immediately, in fact.

For some reason, the main stairwell of the Vannah didn't connect to the rooftop. Instead, a smaller set of stairs had been installed to allow access on the other end of the building's top floor. That floor had seemed clear when he had been trying to climb to the top of the Vannah. No soldiers, no CEDA, no cops, and no other hopeful evacuees besides the three already next to him.

Nick had figured that the people on that floor had probably already been evacuated. Hell, they were right beneath the landing spot for the helicopter. Why would anyone bother sticking around when they had an express exit from Savannah?

Either CEDA had screwed up their jobs even more than he'd thought, or some zombies from the lower levels must've heard the chopper's rotors. Those were the only reasons Nick could think of for how the entire goddamn floor was filled with the infected only a few minutes after they'd passed through that area.

"Great. Just who I wanted to see," Nick grumbled.

Nick was no stranger to his mouth getting him into trouble. As one of the zombies turned towards him, growling, he realized this was probably another one of those times. With no better options, Nick stuck to the same formula he usually used for those occasions, raising his pistol and pulling the trigger.

Nick had to give the others a little bit of credit: they only hesitated for a moment before they joined in. Most people in their situation probably would've shit their pants or tried running back to the rooftop. Instead, they picked up their weapons and stood their ground.

The old man's fire extinguisher was plenty useful at cracking open heads, and the girl was surprisingly handy with a fire ax. Nick was pretty sure the kid wasn't even bothering to aim with his revolver, but with how tight the hallway was, it didn't matter all that much.

As scary as these things were, at least they weren't bulletproof. Lead tore through them exactly the same as it went through normal people. Nick could work with that.

Well, as long as he had ammo, at least. After that, things got tricky.

It didn't take long for them to clear the initial pack of infected. By the time the dust settled, about a dozen bodies had piled up on the floor in various states of dismemberment. None of them had died, so all in all, it had gone better than he'd expected.

Unfortunately, his gun was also now feeling a lot lighter than he'd have preferred. There hadn't been any spare mags on the roof, just the extra bullets by the revolver, and he doubted they took the same caliber.

"Shit, I'm starting to run low. Any of you guys see more guns lying around?" Nick asked, glancing around. All of the blood dripping across the walls and floor made it hard to tell if there was anything useful lying around, but it never hurt to check.

The old man shook his head. "Not seein' anything in the hall. Maybe we can check the rooms for supplies. Looks like some sorta meeting room up on the right."

…Nick didn't want to stay in this building any longer than he had to. Then again, if the infected had already made it to the top floor of the building, odds were good that the lower levels were also crawling with them. Hopefully they'd be fine, as long as they didn't waste too much time.

ding!

[7-13: M60 - A belt-fed light machine gun, commonly used by American and allied forces since the Vietnam War. One of these machine guns has been left behind in the Vannah, fully-loaded and with an additional belt of ammunition sitting next to it.]

[10-15:
Northern Helm - An engraved iron helmet, previously worn by a stalwart northern warrior. This helmet has been placed in the Vannah, enhanced with Titanite to offer superior protection against physical attacks.]

Someone else had already broken open the double doors of the conference room, leaving a few pieces of cheap wood scattered across the walls. As he stepped inside, Nick was met with a fantastic view of Savannah dying outside the room's massive windows. Still plenty of dark columns of smoke, but not nearly as many helicopters flying around.

It looked like CEDA had been using this room as some sort of command center. Giant maps of Savannah and the rest of the country had been piled onto the giant wooden table in the middle of the room, along with piles of other documents. From the way everything was scattered, it looked like the room's last occupants had left in a hurry.

The map didn't provide much good news. Dozens of cities had been circled and crossed out by a thick red marker. New York, Washington, Fairfield, Pittsburg, Richmond, Charlotte, Atlanta, Louisville…practically everything east of the Mississippi had been coated in red ink. They'd even taken the time to cross out Savannah before they left. As far as Nick could tell, CEDA had given up on almost every single city on the map.

"Jesus. The reports said things were bad, but they didn't say it'd gotten this far…" the girl muttered.

The old man turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "You've read reports about this stuff?"

"Yeah. I'm part of a news channel from up in Cleveland. TRS TV," the girl nodded. "CEDA sent us some files about what was going on. Common symptoms, what areas were under lockdown, that sort of thing. I got sent down here to run a story on the evacuations."

"And your opinion on how they're doing so far?" Nick asked.

The girl shook her head. "I'm not impressed. Then again, with how fast this outbreak happened, I guess it could be worse."

Suddenly, the kid leaned forwards, pointing at the map. "Hold up, now. Looks like there's one city that's still holdin' out. I bet that's where the whirlybirds are headin'."

Nick followed where the kid was pointing, noticing the single city that hadn't been crossed out. New Orleans. Nick hadn't been there before, but he'd heard plenty about the place. Riverboats, casinos, and plenty of other alternative business opportunities to get involved with. The weather was shit, but compared to zombies, that was probably the lesser evil. If that was where the evac choppers were heading, he wouldn't have any complaints.

…unlike with the kid using that goddamn stupid word again. "Stop calling it a whirlybird, would you? It's a helicopter. Helicopter."

In response, the kid scoffed, looking away. "Whatever you say, fancy suit."

Christ. Maybe joining up with these three was a mistake after all. Then again, if everything went according to plan, they'd board the next chopper at the mall and never see each other again afterwards. All he had to do was hold out until then.

ding!

[11-20: Uumuu - The Infected guardian of the Teacher's Archives, utilizing powerful bolts of electricity to attack intruders. Due to the power of the roll, the empowered version of Uumuu has emerged from the Pantheon of Hallownest, granting it enhanced defense, more powerful lightning attacks, and the ability to summon Oomas to overwhelm the survivors.]

Nick shook his head. "We're wasting time. Anyone see anything useful here? Because I can see the fire spreading from here."

Suddenly, the old man's face shifted into excitement. "Oh, I do. In fact, I think we've just got ourselves some real goddamn firepower." He moved quickly over towards a chair in the corner of the room, where-

…well, hot damn. Now that looked like some serious firepower. Most of the guns Nick was familiar with were pistols and pump-action shotguns, but if he wasn't mistaken, someone had left an actual machine gun behind during the evacuation. They'd even been nice enough to leave behind a second belt of ammo.

Shit, if CEDA left more firepower like that behind in the hotel, then they actually had a chance of making it to the mall without becoming zombie chow. It didn't make up for the military leaving him behind in a burning building, but it was a decent start.

The girl looked concerned at the sight of the machine gun for some reason. "You sure you know how to shoot that thing, big guy?"

In response, the big guy just laughed. "Nah, I ain't never used somethin' like this before. But I say there ain't no time like the present to learn."

A big gun for a big guy. Might as well be a match made in heaven. Between him and the Sundance Kid, they had a decent amount of guns to work with.

Unfortunately, that was also the most impressive thing in the room. No extra guns, no extra ammo. Just a few meds that were scattered around, and a baseball bat with blood still on the barrel. Still useful, but nothing that would tear through zombie hordes.

There was also, for some reason, a metal helmet sitting on top of one of those document piles. It looked pretty out of place, all engraved and fancy and shit. Maybe someone had left part of their Halloween costume behind on the way to the evac chopper. Or maybe the former owner had been one of the shamblers they'd already crossed paths with. Either way, it clearly hadn't done them any good, and Nick doubted it'd be any more useful to him.

Reluctantly, Nick grabbed the bat. It wouldn't be the first time he'd used them to crack some skulls-

"Holy shit!" the kid shouted, pointing towards the window. "What the hell is that thing?!"

What the hell was the kid worried about, Godzilla? Nick turned around, gripping his baseball bat with both hands. It took more willpower than he cared to admit to keep his grip on it when he saw what was outside.

Okay, that was not a normal zombie. Hell, it didn't look like it had ever been human.

Instead, it looked like a giant, angry jellyfish, easily larger than him and with a few dozen mean-looking tentacles. Worse still, it was somehow flying right outside the goddamn balcony, hovering a few hundred feet above ground level like it belonged there. And then there were the bolts of lightning passing between the tentacles, because god hated Savannah.

It didn't look very happy to see them, either. It twisted around, angling some of its lightning-covered tentacles towards the room, and Nick knew then and there that it was time to leave. "Screw it, run!"

White, blinding light filled the meeting room as Nick sprinted into the hallway. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the table burst apart in a spray of wooden splinters and burning paper. Part of him felt annoyed at yet another room of the hotel catching on fire, but the rest of him was focused on moving his ass away from whatever the hell that monster was.

He probably would have kept running if the hallway in front of him didn't suddenly burst into flames as well. God, he hated this city. Couldn't things work out for once?

Nick took the moment to catch his breath, glancing back behind him. He didn't think that thing was small enough to crawl into the hallway, but he didn't expect to be attacked by magical wildlife today either. Thankfully, the only ones he saw approaching were the others from the evac site.

The girl kept glancing back and forth between the fire and the other end of the hall, breathing heavily. "...that thing wasn't in any of the reports CEDA gave us. They mentioned mutations, a few things worse than regular zombies, but nothing anywhere close to that bad."

Well, wasn't that just great news. "You're telling me there's a chance we'll run into more surprises like that?"

The old guy shouldered past him, fire extinguisher back in his hands. "Not like we've got much of a choice. C'mon, fancy suit, I thought you wanted to get out of this place?"

Was 'fancy suit' just going to be his nickname from now on? It wasn't the worst thing he'd been called before, but that name was already getting old.

Still, they had a point. Either they got electrocuted by a giant floating jellyfish, or they fried along with the rest of the Vannah. Neither of those options was good, but at least there was a chance they could outrun the angry mutated sealife of Georgia.

God, he couldn't wait until he was out of this city. Hopefully things would start getting back to normal after that.