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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov really, really wants Shane Hollander's asshole. First they got cockblocked by a snowstorm. Then Hollander, certified anxious flower that he is, decided to play hard to get. Ilya has spent almost two years periodically texting his rival, hoping the latter will finally agree to hook up again. Ilya hopes to stumble upon the correct sexting-to-rage-baiting ratio, enough for Hollander to get over whatever mental hurdles he's having.

    And then, as luck would have it, Ilya meets Shane Hollander's ex-girlfriend Jessica. Of course, Ilya is not above playing dirty in order to achieve his goals...

    Chaos ensues, unlikely friendships are forged through general assholery, and jury's still out on who takes the crown as greatest menace of them all.
    ___

    A mostly funny, occasionally wholesome story about friends who have your back, even when they're dicks about it! Told mainly through texts and tweets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,176
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    332
    Kudos:
    1,700
    Bookmarks:
    320
    Hits:
    20,694