Chapter Text
Derek left a letter for Avery. He said, in very simple words, that it wasn't Avery's fault he died. But that's not what Avery was concerned about at the moment.
If he were to gave him the chance, he would've died with him. He would've defeated The King in Yellow anyway, but Avery could've been there, or so he thought. Avery knew he would die as soon as he said what he was "planning". He wasn't suicidal, so he wanted to be alive. Thing is, he only wanted to be alive with him. He wanted to stay and die if he had to, with him. Avery was willing to die for and with Derek. If Derek said, "Avery, you need to die before you see him, then I'll die too when we collapse", he would've killed himself gladly.
And now, Derek's dead and Avery is still here. It was January 1st, now it is December 31, 5 years later. Avery doesn't know what to do. People say that death gets less hurtful overtime, but he still feels the same way he felt as soon as Derek punched him out of the platform.
He remembers so well, 'cause he got tricked. If they were playing a normal game, that would've been the most funny thing, they would've died laughing at Avery's innocence and naiveness. But it was Derek's life on the line.
That's so him. And Avery, now, can't even say he has ever been mad at him for doing that.
He misses him.
He wishes relentlessly that they could've played together in another situation. That would've been so fun. And he would've loved that. He would've loved them together. He would've loved him.
Or rather, he would've showed him that he loves him.
Avery has a knife pointing at his own throat. It's New Years Eve. He can hear how everyone outside starts shouting with excitement because there's 10 seconds left. As he listens to everyone else, he decides he can't live a 6th year with the pain of his death. Nor a 7th. (six seven haha sorry)
"10!", he can't bring himself to care about life.
"9!", he feels awful.
"8!", he wishes he could die.
"7!", will anyone believe him if he tries to say why he wants to die?
"6!", only Derek would understand it.
"5!", of course he would. Fuck.
"4!", I miss him, he thinks
"3!" I wish he was alive, he thinks.
"2!" I wish I wasn't, he thinks.
"One-!"
And right before he tucks the knife to his throat, he gets a message. More specifically, an email. From an account nobody knows. Except…
¡Except…!
He threw the knife to the other side of the room, getting immediately excited over something that might not be anything at all. But as he opens it, his heart dropped. Completely.
Avery couldn't believe his eyes.
The email was from him. The real him. The email Avery already knew and the one he sent tons of things waiting him to answer, even if it was a "i don't want to be friends anyway. its over so leave me alone". He would've get a different kind of depression, but it wouldn't be as bad as this one.
The email said, "I'm alive and well now. Check your window, Avery".
As soon as he finished reading that simple sentence, he stood up to check if Derek would be there.
And he was. Holy shit, he was.
"I found you. You're pretty easy to find, you know?"
"Derek!? Holy shit! How are you alive!? No, what took you so long?!"
"Sorry, I started convulsing after what happened. I was in a coma for a while, then in a psychiatric hospital, but I'm fairly okay now. I still have chronic headaches but, do you see me dead?"
"How were you able to survive? What the hell?! What did you eat as a kid?!"
"You won't believe this but I actually kind of liked eating dirt as a kid." said Derek, and chuckled nicely. Was Avery mesmerised? Very much so.
"Wait, don't go anywhere, I'm coming down!" Avery shouted. Derek was able to see how he started jumping with excitement as he tried to put on some shoes. In the end, he gave up and came out without any.
Derek smiled at him. "You are gonna catch a cold and hurt your feet this way. What am I gonna do with you?"
Avery, still not quite believing his eyes, grabbed Derek's cheeks and started playing with his face, making sure he was real.
"Whawt arwe ywou dwoing?" said Derek, not being able to talk properly while Avery struck his face. (sorry that looks terrible written)
"I-I can't believe it. Can you prove to me?… That you are real?" Avery said. After all, the trauma got to him. He started feeling observed and tricked everywhere by anyone. He sort of lost that naiveness what kept him well before.
"Hm, what can I say?"
"I don't know. Tell me something only you would know." Avery requested.
"Well, you know I got infinite knowledge, right?"
"Yeah."
"I know what you were about to do. In your apartment."
Avery freezed. Obviously, he didn't told anybody. Only a person with infinite knowledge would know that.
Derek's smile faded a few phrases ago. He looked at Avery with a hurt look on his face. "I don't judge you at all," he said, "I tried killing myself too, a few times. It was really weird. I knew that I wouldn't be able to, but I still tried and injured myself in the attempts. No matter how much I know about the future, I can't really go against it, I can't not commit the mistakes I know I will make. I knew we would meet today. I knew that you felt this way but couldn't do anything about it. Partially because I was in confinement in the psychiatric hospital, but well. It's like everything went against us meeting until today. That, the destiny going against what I wanted to do, was my reason to try and die. I would've come as soon as I woke up from the coma. Do you… believe me?"
Avery stood there in silence for a few seconds. "You know I do. Why are you asking things you know?"
"I like… hearing you say you do."
Avery blushed and brought his hands to his face. "I shouldn't have lost hope in you. I realise now just how stupid it was to wait only 5 years. I should've waited 500 until I decided to kill myself. What if you arrived a little bit later? I would be dead and I know that in my soul form I would regret it because I would've lose the opportunity to meet with you!"
"Don't beat yourself up, Avery. That didn't happen, and we're here now, aren't we?" said Derek, moving Avery's hands and holding them.
"… I missed you. So much." cried Avery. "You are… Fuck, you just… I-I missed you so much. I'm sorry. Derek… I lov-"
"I love you more. Avery, I love you more." interrupted Derek. Avery stood there, again, shocked.
"I wanted to say it first! I love you, I looooove you! I even love you more!" said Avery, as he tried to stop crying, which he couldn't help at all.
"Sorry, but I love you more."
"Why, eh? Why do you think that? How can you know that?"
"Some things need to be shown rather than said. And I will show you why with just some time. Will you allow me to try?"
"Yes. God, yes. But I will show you I love you more with everything I have within my heart and soul." responded Avery, jumping for a hug, which didn't bother Derek at all.
"Oh, so poetic." joked Derek as he wrapped his arms around Avery with all the strength he can possibly put in a tender hug.
After receiving a few weird looks by little kids that happened to wander around going back to their homes after celebrating New Years Eve, they decided to go back to Avery's apartment.
It was not quite organised, but it had a charm to it. Everything was colourful, the clothes, the decorations, the bed, everything.
"You have a very unique apartment, Avery." whispered Derek, feeling sort of shy being inside it while Avery showed him around. Derek could see his back neck, his arms moving while pointing things he liked about his own apartment, you could tell he was trying to fill the gaps of silence that weren't really awkward for Derek.
"Do you hate it?" responded Avery.
"Oh, no. Not at all. I think it's beautiful. It resembles you. That's what I meant."
Avery turned around, his curly hair moved around as if it had its own life, and his brown eyes looked directly towards Derek's black eyes, which seemed to make them both a little bit nervous.
"W-What are you looking at? Do I have something on my face?" said Derek as he chuckled nicely while scratching his head.
"Do you tend to say cute things to everyone?" asked Avery.
"No, I don't talk with anyone at all."
"So it's with me, and only me?"
"Well, of course."
Avery turned his whole body to face Derek, placed his hands in both of his cheeks and dragged his face towards his own, without really bringing their faces together.
"Derek, are you cool with me- No, is it okay if I- No, can I k-k-k-kiss- No, sorry, wait, this is the most nervous I have ever been in my life. Derek, would you want to kiss me if I hypothetically said that I wanted to kiss y-"
Derek leaned just a little bit forward to reach Avery's lips with his own. Stayed there for a few seconds, not really moving, so the kiss wasn't too much for a tender first kiss.
After those seconds, he separated "Yeah. I am cool, it is okay, you can and, just hypothetically speaking, I would want to kiss you if you said you wanted to kiss me." he said.
"Do you like making fun of me?" said Avery with a slight smile, trying to act mad, when he (clearly) wasn't.
"Yeah, but it's because you've been acting all cute."
Avery leaned in for another kiss, then Derek for another, and another, and another, and another, until they both lost count of who leaned in for the most kisses.
But, Avery was the one who stopped the chain. "Hey, wait. Uh, would you like to stay, just for tonight?" he asked. "That is, of course, if you have nowhere to be!"
"Ugh, Avery," Derek complained as he rested on Avery's shoulder, "Of course I would like to stay."
"G-Great! Then, should we-"
"Yes, let's head over to the bed, you don't have an extra bed or mattress for me. Yes, we can sleep together in your bed. No, I'm not uncomfortable with that. Yes, we can cuddle, I would actually love that. No, I won't leave in the morning. Actually, can I stay the whole week? Or the whole month? I know I can, I know you want me to." said Derek with rushed words.
"How do you know- Oh. Yeah. Hehe." Avery grabbed Derek's hand and ran with him just a few meters to get to the bedroom.
They wrapped each other in the blankets naturally and felt each others heartbeat resonating within the bed and pillows. They kept kissing as if they won't see each other tomorrow again. I mean, it's understandable. They talked about the supposed month that was about to be ahead of them. Saying cute things during the process of what they thought what would happen.
"I would like to make breakfast and coffee for you every morning."
"I would like to cuddle every day with you like this."
"I would like to comfort you if you have a bad day at work"
"I would like to give you a goodbye kiss every time I leave the house without you."
"I want every night to be like tonight."
"I want to wake up to your face in the morning, or in the night."
"I want to be your favourite part of the day."
"I want to give you 'welcome home' kisses."
"I want to cook delicious lunches and dinners for you."
"I want to go to cafeterias on days in which you don't feel like making breakfast."
"I want to go to the movies and discuss the movie in the night."
"I want to go to restaurants and karaokes so I can see you being funny."
"I want to go to bars so we can go back home laughing over anything and everything."
"I want to drunk make-out with you."
"I want to make out with you."
"I want to kiss you everywhere you allow me to."
"I want to kiss all your moles and freckles."
"I want to count 'em and keep that number as my lucky number."
"I want to buy you gifts."
"I want to spend everything that I can spend on you. My time, my money, my life."
"I want the neighbours to look at us and say 'aren't they suspiciously good friends?'"
"I want to tell everyone that you are my boyfriend."
"Am I your boyfriend?"
"Yes! Absolutely."
"Nice. Well, I want to, uhhhh, I'm running out of ideas I can say."
"Oh, well, I just want to be with you."
"Okay, maybe you won this time."
"Yes!"
"But I promise you, I will show you I love you more."