Work Text:
🥰 Lily & Jane 🥰
Jane: i'm sorry baby
Jane: i want to trust your team, but i don't even know them
Jane: i wish there was a way i could get to know them, like without being shane hollander
Lily: it's okay i understand malysh
Lily: you want to feel safe before we tell the team
Lily: i have an idea, you might not like
Jane: what is it?
Lily: you join the wags
Lily: you can be my girlfriend, my jane
Lily: get to know the team through their wives and girlfriends
Lily: they are very nice
Jane: you don't think they'd be suspicious?
Lily: team already guesses i have secret partner
Lily: this way you start to feel safe around them
Lily: and maybe soon we tell them who you really are
Jane: i feel like they'll know i'm a man right away
Jane: but i like the idea
Lily: i'll send your number to cassie. she will love you
Lily: they will all love you
Lily: even if you are terrible at girl talk
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cassie: GIRLSSSSSS YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS
Brynn: what is it!!!
Lisa: ???
Cassie: ILYA ROZANOV HAS A WAG
Cassie: I'M ADDING HER NOW
Cassie has added Jane to the chat
Cassie: WELCOME TO THE OTTAWA CENTAURS WAG CHAT BEAUTIFUL JANE
Cassie: WE'RE SO EXCITED TO MEET YOU
Cait: jesus cass you're gonna scare her off 😭
Selena: hi jane!! i'm selena, i'm Nick Chouinard's gf 🤗
Cait: i'm cait! i'm dykstra's wife
Cassie: i'm bood's wife!
Brynn: brynn! i'm dating boyle
Lisa: i'm wyatt's wife! so good to meet you jane
Jane: wow, hi everyone! nice to meet you all
Cait: so good to meet you too!! we didn't even know roz was dating anyone
Lisa: how long have you been with roz!! and why has he been hiding you
Jane: we've been together for a few years now
Cait: wait, years?? you weren't like.. exclusive right
Jane: LOL
Jane: i know ilya was a slut haha
Jane: we were casual at first
Jane: but serious since 2017
Lisa: holy shit!!!
Lisa: wait how long were you casual?
Jane: a loooong time
Cait: like how long?
Jane: like, since before his first MLH season
Lisa: WHAT
Cassie: holy shit
Selena: wait, you were casual for … 8 years???
Jane: ish
Lisa: damn girl
Lisa: how'd you lock him down??
Brynn: i bet she's great at head
Cait: i swear y'all are gonna scare her off
Cait: jane don't run! we can be normal i promise!
Jane: i am good at head :)
Jane: and not running away
Brynn: CALLED IT!!!
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cait: fuck the metros, but…
Cait: Hollander's totally on my hall pass list
Lisa: FINALLY SOMEONE'S SAYING IT
Lisa: that man could GET it
Lisa: like it'd be great if he could stop shooting past wyatt lmao
Lisa: but…. smash
Cassie: he's soooo hot
Cassie: idk tho i feel like he'd be boring in bed
Jane: he's not boring in bed!!!
Cassie: lol jane why does it sound like you've fucked him haha
Jane: i mean i guess i have lol
Cassie: JANE?????!
Cait: JANE!!
Lisa: oh my god was it good? i bet he has ENDURANCE
Selena: jane!!! was it good!!!
Jane: shit i should not have said anything
Jane: uh just a joke guys sorry!
Lisa: … why do i not believe you actually
Cassie: yeah no jane has definitely fucked hollander
Cassie: how is it possible to be a terrible liar via text
Selena: jane honey you know the wag chat is sacred right? we won't tell a soul
Selena: even our partners
Jane: can we forget i said anything?
🥰 Lily & Jane 🥰
Jane: i've made a mistake
Lily: what happened?
Jane: i joked to the wags that i fucked "hollander"
Lily: HAHAHA yes you have though
Jane: lol i know i thought it was funny but then i remembered they don't know what the fuck i'm talking about
Jane: i tried to backtrack but now they don't believe me that it was a joke
Lily: nooo don't backtrack, they'll understand soon enough
Lily: for now they can just be impressed by how many sexy hockey players you fuck
Jane: ugh
Jane: fine lol
ottaWAGSSSSS
Jane: can we forget i said anything?
Cait: no, sorry, lmao
Cait: live a little girl!!
Cait: obviously you're with rozanov now but we wanna hear all your dirty goss that's what we're here for
Cait: and you get all of ours too ❤️
Jane: ..ok that's really sweet actually
Jane: fine!
Jane: but this stays in the wag chat
Lisa: YESSSSS JANE WE LOVE YOU
Lisa: so…. how was hollander 🥵
Jane: haha not bad i guess
Lisa: NOT BAD???
Jane: not as good as with Ilya!
Cait: i guess that checks out roz is like a sex god right
Jane: haha yeah
Lisa: yeah he's hot as fuck
Lisa: not as hot as hollander but
Lisa: who is??
Jane: ilya is definitely hotter
Selena: sorry girl but you're wrong, roz might fuck better but hollander's definitely hottest in the league
Cait: ^
Cassie: ^^
Lisa: ^^^
Lisa: wait important question
Lisa: does roz know you've fucked hollander?
Jane: oh yeah definitely haha
Cassie: IS HE PISSED???
Jane: he doesn't mind, he knows he's better
Cassie: KLJKJREKWNFSD
Cassie: jane ilysm
Cassie: this is the best gossip we've ever gotten in this wag chat i hope you know
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cassie: janeeeeee
Jane: casssssss
Cassie: ok i know that wag chat is sacred. and it will continue to be. and if you say no i promise i will listen to you.
Cassie: but PLEASEEE can i tell zane about you and hollander
Cassie: you said roz already knows
Cassie: this is just so juicy zane would die and i want to see his face
Jane: lol fine as long as they keep it to the team. ilya thinks this is funny
Cassie: YESSS he's gonna lose his shit thanks jane you rock
Centaurs Unofficial GC
Bood: cap is it true that your gf has slept with hollander????????
Boyle: WHAT
Bood: cait just told me omg
Nicky: who IS this girl
LaPointe: CAPPPPPPP
Bood: she's also apparently a metro's fan
LaPointe: cap?!!
Young: dude what the fuck
Roz: jane is very beautiful, everyone thinks so
Roz: of course second best hockey player in the league wants jane too
Bood: SO IT'S TRUE
Roz: yes, my jane fucks hollander sometimes, no big deal
Roz: she lives in montreal, i can not always be there to please her
Dyk: waaaaait a second
Dyk: this wasn't like a one time thing?
Dyk: she is still fucking hollander?
Dyk: like, this is ongoing?
Dyk: i thought you were exclusive?
Roz: yes, jane and i are exclusive, she is just also allowed to fuck hollander
Young: are you serious?
Roz: relax, no big deal
Roz: let jane take care of herself
Roz: do not judge
Bood: oh cassie's gonna freak
LaPointe: not judging! just uh. ???
LaPointe: don't you and Hollander hate each other? but you're fine with him fucking your girl?
Roz: hollander is a friend!! we have a charity
Bood: dude omg did you and hollander meet thru jane and start a charity
Roz: hahaha
Roz: kind of!
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cassie: [screenshots of Centaurs Unofficial GC]
Cassie: jane???!!!!
Jane: i'm going to fucking kill him jesus christ
Jane: 😭😭 it's not what it sounds like!
Lisa: please don't kill our captain we need him
Lisa: but seriously – you're not fucking with roz, right? like this is genuinely okay with him that you're sleeping with his rival?
Lisa: i know roz comes off tough but i think he's a sweetheart inside and i don't want him to get hurt
Jane: lisa i promise, everything is fine, i'm not going to hurt ilya
Jane: i love him
Jane: i am committed to him
Jane: the hollander thing is not what you think
Cait: what is it then???
Jane: i'll tell you guys some day, promise
Jane: for now, just trust me?
Jane: ilya and i are good, and i'm very loyal to him, and he knows that
Lisa: if you say so!!!
Lisa: we do love you jane
Lisa: this is just kind of crazy
Lisa: but if you and roz both say it's good, then i'll back off
Jane: thank you ❤️
TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT: Post-Game Media, Montreal Metros vs. Toronto Guardians
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: Mr. Hollander, could you comment on the rumors that Ilya Rozanov's girlfriend is sleeping with you?
[Shane Hollander's head jerks back slightly; his face reddens.]
Shane Hollander: Sorry, how does that relate to the game we just played?
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: Sir, if you could just comment, your fans are wondering if this is a new way of getting in your rival's head. And, with your game against the Centaurs next week, if this conflict off the ice will impact your game.
Shane Hollander: If anyone has any questions about the game we just played against Toronto, I'd be happy to answer. Otherwise, no comment.
TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT: Post-Game Media, Ottawa Centaurs vs. Philadelphia Fighters
James Brody, SportsBuzz: Mr. Rozanov, could you comment on the rumors that your girlfriend is sleeping with your rival, Shane Hollander?
[Ilya Rozanov's brow furrows, then he bursts into laughter.]
Ilya Rozanov: Tell me you asked Hollander this question too.
James Brody, SportsBuzz: Yes, we did.
Ilya Rozanov: And what did he say?
James Brody, SportsBuzz: He said no comment.
[Ilya Rozanov's grin turns into a smirk, eyes bright.]
Ilya Rozanov: I will comment. My girl is… special. So beautiful. She is mine, yes, but I am not always near.
James Brody, SportsBuzz: So you're confirming that she sleeps with Hollander when you're away?
Ilya Rozanov: Yes, she lives in Montreal. She has needs, and when I am not near, Hollander helps her meet them. Okay, any hockey questions?
Hayden + Shane
Hayden: hey buddy
Hayden: uh
Hayden: what the fuck?
Hayden: wait, is it lily? is that why you're so fucking secretive about her?? does she live in montreal now?
Hayden: have you been fucking rozanov's girl for years?????
Hayden: SHANE
Shane: swear jar x3
🥰 Lily & Jane 🥰
Jane: i'm gonna die
Lily: noooo you're too sexy
Jane: i'm gonna kill you
Jane: you're making this worse
Lily: sorry, malysh
Lily: i am just leaning in
Lily: it is funny
Lily: funnier when they know the truth
Jane: it was a fucking masturbation joke
Jane: it will NOT be funnier when they know the truth
Jane: this is mortifying
Lily: do not be embarrassed my love
Jane: i can't just turn it off
Lily: what if you pretend?
Jane: pretend i'm not embarrassed?
Lily: yes my love
Lily: lean in with me
Lily: it will be funny
Jane: i can't just lean in it'll look so bad
Jane: i'm predictable, it's why i have sponsors
Lily: 🙄😒 rude
Lily: i have sponsors too
Jane: but that's your thing!!! the chaos suits you
Lily: it suits you too
Lily: i am just the only one who sees it right now
Jane: …
Jane: i'll try.
Centaurs Unofficial GC
Roz: ok whose big mouth told the fucking press about jane
Roz: only people who know are you and wags
Bood: dude i'm so sorry, it might be my fault, we were out after the game a few weeks ago talking about it and someone might have overheard
Dyk: seriously, so sorry captain
Dyk: i think it must have been us, the wags are way better at secrets tbh
Young: is jane okay?
Roz: jane is fucking embarrassed
Roz: hollander wants to kill me
Bood: hollander looked pisssedddd in that interview
Bood: i still can't believe he's banging your girl
Bood: he seems way too nice
Roz: hollander is very boring
Roz: except hockey and sex
LaPointe: okay i have SO many questions
LaPointe: also, sorry cap
LaPointe: we let you down
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cait: @jane are you okay??
Cassie: jane i'm gonna kill zane for you
Cassie: i can't believe those fucking guys
Selena: seriously
Selena: this never should have left the wag chat
Selena: they don't deserve good gossip
Cassie: never again
Cassie: this is all my fault
Brynn: @jane are you doing alright honey?
Brynn: i know we were all kinda shook at your like love triangle thing but we love you and support you and it can't be easy having everyone talking about your relationships like this
Jane: cass, it's not your fault
Jane: ilya told me what happened
Jane: can i tell you guys something? but like, it needs to stay here.
Lisa: anything
Lisa: and for real, nothing ever leaves the wag chat anymore
Jane: i know, i trust you all
Jane: definitely do NOT tell your fuckass men about this one jesus christ
Jane: at least not yet
Jane: so, my name isn't jane
Jane: it's… shane
Lisa: oh
Lisa: my
Lisa: god
Lisa: SHANE HOLLANDER???????
Jane: yeah
Jane: sorry
Cassie: oh my god don't be sorry
Cassie: uh sorry we were thirsting over you
Jane: haha it's okay
Jane: i just
Jane: my team would be awful if they knew
Jane: and ilya says the centaurs are better and he wanted to tell them
Jane: so we thought me joining the wags would be a way to like build trust and maybe tell you guys about us
Lisa: oh my god and they instead blabbed about jane to the world
Jane: kind of yeah
Jane: so like, not great
Jane: but it also feels weird to have people think i'm like, moving in on roz's girl?
Jane: i AM roz's girl
Jane: idk!!!
Cait: aww ❤️
Cait: you're roz's girl!!!!
Jane: ilya is saying to lean into it
Cassie: you definitely should omg
Cait: what would that mean?
Cassie: okay so shane is so polished and so canadian that the jane love triangle mess is likely to fuck with his image and sponsorships and stuff. but if he like, leans into the chaos, makes jokes about it like rozanov already is, then people will find it entertaining instead of weird
Cassie: maybe?
Cait: damn cass you should be a media consultant or something
Cassie: @jane hire me
Jane: that's pretty much what ilya said too. like this all comes back to my stupid joke in the wag chat
Jane: but i think you guys are right and i need to lean in otherwise it's just going to get worse
Jane: going to pretend i'm not terrified about it
Cassie: you got this jane!!
Cassie: should we call you shane now
Jane: i like being jane here :)
Lisa: okay so when you said you've fucked shane hollander…
Lisa: that it wasn't as good as rozanov…
Jane: we don't have to spell it out 😭
Jane: don't pretend you don't touch yourself when Wyatt's away!!
Lisa: …fair
TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT: Post-Game Media, Montreal Metros vs. Boston Raiders
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: This question is for either of you. Mr. Rozanov has confirmed that his girlfriend is seeing both of you. How does that impact your game on the ice?
[Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander exchange a glance. Rozanov raises his eyebrows, and Hollander reluctantly nods. Rozanov grins.]
Shane Hollander: It doesn't impact our play at all. We're always competitive, and Rozanov's girlfriend has nothing to do with that.
Ilya Rozanov: She is a Metros fan, eugh. But I am her favorite player. So for game like today, she roots for the Metros, but she will come home with me.
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: Mr. Hollander, any hard feelings there?
[Hollander looks at the ceiling for a moment, seeming to gather composure.]
Shane Hollander: No hard feelings. She's Rozanov's girl, not mine. When they're in the same city, she'll always be with him.
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: But when they're not?
Ilya Rozanov: When they are not, she gets Hollander.
Sherry Fox, SportsBuzz: And you're okay with that?
[Rozanov smirks. A staff member motions to cut the interview, but Rozanov speaks anyway.]
Ilya Rozanov: I encourage it. Sometimes I tell Hollander what she needs, how to give it to her.
[Hollander puts his face in his hands. Rozanov nudges him with an elbow, and Hollander looks back up. They both burst into laughter. The staff member cuts off any more questions.]
ottaWAGSSSSS
Cassie: janeeeeee you did so good!!!
Cassie: i was dying laughing
Lisa: seriously jane that was hilarious
Lisa: "sometimes i tell hollander what she needs, how to give it to her"
Lisa: anything to share, sweet jane?
Jane: haha thanks guys
Jane: ilya is a fucking menace 😂
Jane: that was so embarrassing
Jane: but also kinda fun
Cait: fuck yeahhhh!!!!
Cassie: you're gonna be just as much of a menace by the time roz is done with you lol
Jane: hopefully never
Selena: ??
Jane: hopefully he is never done with me :)
Brynn: 😭😭😭
Brynn: i love love
Selena: fuck that was cute
SportsBuzz ✅ @sportsbuzz
Ilya Rozanov's girlfriend is a Metros fan… and other fun revelations in the Rozanov-Hollander-MysteryGirl love triangle [link]
→ Cliff Marlow ✅ @marlowcli
IS THIS WHY YOU WERE SO SECRETIVE ABOUT JANE??? @Rozanov81
→ Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
🤐🤫 not polite to kiss and tell
→ jennifer @centaurzzz
roz's gf name reveal!!! hi jane!!! you're an icon!!
→ bryce @hockeyenthusiast78
why are two hockey players dating the same girl? hollander can't find his own?
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
i just know jane has GAME what do you mean you're fucking rozanov AND hollander????
→ go centaurs! @forthewind1
right?!! like, save some for the rest of us jeez 😭
→ Cassie Boodram @cassboods
oh jane is HOT, can confirm
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
!!!! mrs bood please share a pic of herrr
→ Cassie Boodram @cassboods
can't. you'd die tho
Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
Please, stop asking for pictures of Jane. Yes, she is very beautiful. But she is not for you. Only me. And sometimes @shanehollanderhockey
→ Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
she likes me better though
→ Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
🙄 we get it
→ bryce @hockeyenthusiast78
@shanehollanderhockey you seriously can't find your own girl?
→ Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
who says i don't have my own girl?
→ shelby @hollanderlover
WAKE UP BABE NEW LORE JUST DROPPED
→ Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
hollander's gf is very attractive. not as pretty as my jane, but no one can be
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
@Rozanov81 important question: do you also fuck hollander's girlfriend, like he fucks yours?
→ Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
sometimes 😏🥵😜
jennifer @centaurzzz
okay so this is not a love triangle, it is an hourglass?
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
how do we know jane and hollander's girl aren't also fucking?
→ hollanov is real @hollan000v
or rozanov/hollander??
→ jennifer @centaurzzz
i want to call you crazy but this is already pretty wild. i wouldn't be surprised tbh
→ JJ Boiziau ✅ @jayjayz
oh my god @haydenpike is the question mark fucking lily
→ shelby @hollanderlover
hollander's gf name mentioned!!!
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
this has to be an extension of their rivalry right? fucking each other's girls???
Hayden + Shane
Hayden: [screenshot of hourglass tweet from @centaurzzz]
Hayden: okay so the question mark, that's lily right?
Hayden: right??
Centaurs Unofficial GC
Bood: @roz do jane and lily fuck too?
Bood: cassie won't tell me anything anymore but i know she knows something
Roz: LOL
Roz: yes, jane and lily fuck so much
Roz: very hot
Dyk: but you said you were exclusive, except for hollander?
Dyk: just bc it's a girl doesn't mean it doesn't count
Dyk: trust me on that
Dyk: it COUNTS
Roz: fine, jane and i are exclusive except for hollander and lily
Roz: relax, is fine
LaPointe: knowing that you're also fucking his gf makes so much more sense
LaPointe: like, of course you're competitive off the ice too lmao
Roz: very competitive off the ice 🥵🥵🥵
Bood: okay now
Bood: don't get mad at me for asking
Bood: because i think this is a very reasonable question, all things considered
Bood: do you and hollander… also fuck??
🥰 Lily & Jane 🥰
Lily: [screenshot]
Lily: do i tell them?
Jane: ykw. yeah, sure, fuck it
Centaurs Unofficial GC
Bood: do you and hollander… also fuck??
Roz: yes of course
Dyk: WFJSDKLFJF
Young: oh my god???
LaPointe: HOLY shIT
Roz: if you are homophobic i will kill you
LaPointe: no oh my god
LaPointe: just shocked
Young: love is love!!! what pointy said, just shook
Bood: okay so you and hollander
Roz: yes
Bood: and you and jane
Roz: yes
Bood: and you and lily
Roz: yes
Roz: and me and hollander and jane
Roz: and me and hollander and lily
Roz: and me and jane and lily
Roz: and jane and lily
Roz: and hollander and jane
Roz: and hollander and lily
Roz: and hollander and jane and lily
Roz: and me and hollander and jane and lily
Bood: holy fucking shit
Bood: okay but if we just knew this from the start it makes way more sense
Roz: HAHA does it
Bood: yeah! of course you're in a weird foursome orgy
Bood: makes more sense than you willingly letting hollander fuck your girl while you're away
Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
some clarifications from me and my partners
→ jennifer @centaurzzz
IT'S A SQUARE. A SQUARE.
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
hooooly shit
→ hollanov is real @hollan000v
okay so… ilya rozanov is confirming that he is in a foursome that INCLUDES shane hollander… i - ????
→ Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
okay, that's enough ilya
Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
The foursome. Yes, all four of us are in this picture.
I love my partner. ❤️
→ Ilya Rozanov ✅ @Rozanov81
i love you jane 💘💘💘
→ Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderhockey
love you, lily 🥰🥰🥰
jennifer @centaurzzz
new diagram just dropped!!!!! AHHHHH
→shelby @hollanderlover
no bc the diagram is really just a line 😭 my heart
→jennifer @centaurzzz
nooo respect the square of love
hollanov is real @hollan000v
god loves me and me specifically 🙏
→ hannah banannah @cennycennies
they're so cute im gonna cry 🥺😭
→ Cassie Boodram @cassboods
told y'all jane was hot!!!!