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The Only Thing They're Good For

Summary:

I like the idea of Villain Siffrin but haven't seen it done where he's actually competent (Well it's debatable if he is or not) and isn't pretending to be a savior.

Chptr one rewrite happened

Chapter 1

Notes:

This chapter was rewritten because I felt like I could do better

Chapter Text

Siffrin, no middle name, no last name, sits down on a fallen tree in a thick forest near the city of Jouvante, uncloaked, around him forty or so Sadness remain dormant, awaiting Siffrin's next commands. It was odd being so close to these things; they used to hunt them for coin after all. Siffrin looked down at their lightless mask. It was smooth and featureless, with eight studs, four on each side, with the top two being in the four-pointed shape of a star. When they originally chose them, they could not say why other than that it felt right. Of course, they know why now, thanks to the King, the miserable old blinder. Siffrin would never understand his fascination with this country; the people are welcoming, sure, but that can be a foolish policy. Just look at Siffrin, for example. No one in their right mind would want a rogue assassin in their country. They could see their reflection in the mask's surface… they’ve certainly looked better, that's for sure. Their long hair that reached their shoulders, the ends being dyed lightless, was a mess due to a lack of care, and they had bags under their eyes due to a lack of sleep they hadn’t had the time for. Not that they could sleep even if they had the time. Turns out using wish craft to stop yourself from completely collapsing is bad for your health! Who could have thought?

 

Welp, no time like the present, they think to themself. Siffrin holds the mask to their face, and with a surge of binding craft, it became stuck to their face; it would be impossible for anyone save Siffrin themself to remove it now. They could see perfectly fine through the mask; they could barely even feel it. Once they had even walked into town, not realizing they had it on! 

 

Siffrin stood up and cleared their throat. The sadness could be easily ordered around, but these instructions are pushing it when it comes to their cognitive abilities.

 

“We are going to attack a nearby city known as Jouvante,” they announced to the sadness. The masks deepened their voice as they spoke; it's supposed to make their voice indistinguishable from others in the Guild, as well as more intimidating. They had kept the mask after they left the Guild; it was useful in their line of work.

 

The Sadness turned their attention toward him as he continued, “The goal isn’t to take over the city; we don’t have enough Sadness for that. The goal is to scare and cripple the local Defender forces so that they don’t help the blessed housemaiden.” The Jouvante Defenders' captain has a reputation for being a coward, so with luck, the attack will make him refuse to give up any of his forces to help usurp the King. 

 

“However, casualties of any kind are unacceptable. You are only permitted to freeze targets. If you can’t freeze others, then restrain them until a sadness that can does” The sadness makes a sound that sounds almost… disappointed? Good, it means the point got across. 



Siffrin points at a sadness that looks a bit like a spikey balloon, an anxiety, "you're going to break down the gates”.

 


 

Siffrin took in the morning air as they walked the road to Jouvante. It was a nice day, not too cold, not too hot, with not one cloud in the sky. To be telling the truth, Siffrin felt a bit exposed walking out in the open with their hat and cloak in their bag. That and the fact that being surrounded by a small army of Sadness is certain to get quite the reaction out of people. The Sadness in question are also extremely unruly, toppling over each other as they follow Siffrin at this rate, it won't be too long until-

 

“SADNESS,” someone screamed, causing a chain reaction of even more people panicking and running towards the city. Ah well, they made it closer to Jouvante with no one seeing them than they expected to be honest. Siffrin breaks out into a jog; they would run, but they get the feeling that the sadness wouldn't be able to keep up. As they approached the city walls (why did a city in Vaugaurde have walls?), the gates began to close just as they made it. 

 

Good thing they came prepared. “Anxiety-” Siffrin didn’t even finish saying its name before it rushed to the gate and detonated. The sadness roared as they ran through the gates into the city.

 

Not yet

 

“Halt,” Siffrin ordered, and the sadness stopped halfway through the gates.

 

Siffrin Lesurly walked forward, sadness stepping aside to clear the way, and it didn’t take long until he stood before a squad of twenty or so Defenders. None of them wore any kind of uniform; the only way to tell that they were Defenders was a small badge that they wore on their chest. As Siffrin stepped forward, they gasped, not every day that you see someone leading monsters.

 

Showtime “Hello Jouvante!” Siffrin began spreading their arms, “I’m so glad all of you could make it here today!” 

 

One of the defenders began to prepare a craft, but an older defender who stood before the rest held an arm in front of them, “Hold your fire,” he said, looking at the defenders behind him before looking back at Siffrin. “What are your demands?” 

 

Demands? They hadn’t thought of that. “The evacuation of all of Jouvante’s citizens,” they say cheerfully.

 

“We are not capable of doing that.” Oh well, it was worth a shot.

 

Siffrin takes a step forward. “Well, in that case~” they’ll have to do this the fun way. 

 

The old Defender says something, but Siffrin isn’t listening… He looks like a rock type.

 

Siffrin shoots a hand forward in the paper symbol [Tear you apart]