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"I have a lot of data on slumber parties!” Caine proclaimed proudly as Ragatha and Zooble put even more pillows onto the ground.
"Cool. We’re doing it our own way tho…” Zooble's voice was unamused.
"The fun-for-everyone way!” Ragatha said in that cheery tone of hers. Caine glanced towards the corner of the main circus area, where a recently rebuilt pillow fort stood.
Yeah… Everyone.
Kinger had his good days and worse days. He relapsed that morning pretty bad, and the rest of the humans were clearly trying to keep themselves AND Caine occupied with something else to not worry about it... too much.
Kinger needed rest, and some alone time in the dark. He’d be back to normal… surelly.
It still brought back unpleasent memories and pain tho… And guilt.
Caine shook his head slightly, his equivalent of blinking the thought away. He got back to helping others set the sleepover up.
It was Gangle’s idea and suprisingly, everyone else seemed on board. Even Jax, tho he did not express it, he still helped with preparations, while teasing. Him and Pomni dragged the changing booth from the lakeshore inside. With a little "power of imagination” and prompting, they hoped it could make them change into pajamas. Caine knew it was possibile, but couldn’t provide amy exact procenteges…
"Allright who wants to try first?” Pomni asked, still a bit out of breath.
"I can… I think…” Gangle offered in a rare show of bravery, and slowly went inside. The booth shook, stretched and bounced, then spit her out. She was now wearing a short, white nightgown with laced edges.
"It’s cute.” Zooble commented helping her up from the floor. "And it works.”
Everyone got to use it. First Pomni – which resulted in her wearing a purple satine set. Then Ragatha – who got a nightgown with a horse-shoe pattern on it. Next was Zooble, who got out in a comfy, classic: white-and-blue striped pajama. Then, suprisingly, Jax also went through, ending up in a tank top and shorts.
"Your turn.” Pomni beckoned Caine towards the booth. He hesitated.
He was barelly getting used to the way his new model looked and felt. A vest with a shirt underneath instead of a ringleader suit. He wasnt sure how much of the uncomfortable, foreign feeling was because of the design and how much because of…. Everything else. His depowered state, his way-less flexible features or… his guilt.
But everyone else changed and he promised to try, he promised to be part of the group. It was what he wanted. It was what they asked of him in exchange for… well, his life.
Caine sighed and stepped inside. After a moment of suprisingly not-unplesant stretches and pulls he got spat out of the booth. Once he got up (heck, he still hasn’t got used to the weight of his body, of not beeing able to just float…) he noticed he was wearing a red shirt and pants set with blue seams.
Of course. Even now, a constant reminder.
It felt… the same. Just a cosmetics change. He didn’t know what to think about it, so he quickly chose to nothing at all.
Pomni collected all the board games that were scattered in the rooms and some backstage areas and put them on the coffee table that they had surrounded by pillows, couches and blankets. Some small lights were set around them while the main circus ones got dimmed. It was, Caine believed, what humans considered "cozy”.
First they played Monopoly, which singlehandedly resolved all of Caine’s worries about this entire endevor beeing boring and low-stimulating.
It was a bloodbath.
Ragatha for some reson kept landing in jail, but at the same time, STILL cashing the most rent out of all the players, and constantly apologising for it.
Gangle was a pro. She clearly played with the strategy in mind, only buing the most tactical of streets.
Zooble strangled Jax over a hotel dispute.
Pomni tried to be sneaky, but ended up loosing almost everything because of taxes. As ironic for an accountant as it was.
Caine went bankrupt after five rounds but it didn’t matter. According to a card he drew during one of them, he won second place in a beauty contest and it was enought to make him giggle and happily observe chaos around.
Monopoly thought he was pretty <3
After the board landed on the ground, and Jax was yelling something about capitalism while Gangle held Zooble back on their side of the table, the entire group decided to do something more… chill.
Caine kept the card under his hat, even after Ragatha cleaned up the game.
He tried to suggest some other activities but each of his ideas was met with "maybe later”. He tried to swallow his pride – like he had to each and every second since he was brought back from the nothingness of deletion – and just let others pick what to do.
"How about truth or dare?” Jax suggested, spawed on his back on one of the couches.
"Oh! That’s a marvelous idea! Afterall it’s the all-time sleepover classic!” Caine clapped his hands excitedly. From each teen-movie that was downloaded onto his drive in the past, it seemed to be one game featured in all! And studies shown that it was a tremendous bonding experience. What could be better for forming relationships and actually becoming part of the group than…
"Nuh-uh! Jax just wants to learn something he can use against us or give us stupid and dangerous dares.” Zooble protested.
Jax scoffed.
"It’s not like someone’s forcing you to do them. If you’re too much of a coward, you can always just bite the bullet and loose.” He shrugged.
"I don’t mind truth or dare… as long as we keep it reasonable.” Ragatha chimed in, always the mediator.
"Yeah it’s fine with me too.” Added Pomni. Gangle just smiled and shrugged. Zooble sighed and waved their hand in a "whatever” gesture.
It was settled.
Pomni emptied her UNBRANDED SODA bottle and lied it on the table, then gave it a twist.
The bottle spun for a moment, then stopped, pointing at Gangle.
"Allright, truth or dare?” Pomni asked. Gangle hesitated for a moment. Caine held his breath, even tho he didn’t need it in the first place.
"Truth…?”
"Ask her about the figurines…” Jax murmured but got hit with a pillow thrown by Zooble. Pomni ignored him.
"Well, since we’re already playing preteens today, how about you tell us about your first kiss?”
Gangle opened her mouth and blushed, then chuckled.
"Okay, there was this boy on my summercamp in middleschool… I don’t rememmber his name…”
Caine felt a pang of guilt, but thankfully noone looked at him with accusations… maybe it was because of how long ago it happened and not because of… the circus? He tried to stuck to this thought, especisally since Gangle didn’t seem that bothered by it.
"Anyway, he also liked anime so we kind of bonded and one night stayed by the fire and shared Naruto theories and just… kissed. I’ve never saw him after that summer tho.”
"Aaaawww…” Ragatha let out with a smile.
Gangle chuckled again, still blushing.
"It was ages ago, I haven’t even thought of him in years.” She said grabbing the bottle.
It pointed at Ragatha.
"Okay… to spice things up, how about a dare?” Ragatha smiled awkwardly. Gangle put one of her ribbon hands to her mask’s chin and hummed.
"Continuing the pree-teen thing…” She said after few seconds with a little giggle. "Give one of us a kiss.”
There was a moment of silence before Jax started laughing.
"Wow, I knew you’re a shipper but… COME ON!”
Gangle blushed but Ragatha was even a deeper shade of red.
"Are you… sure about that…?” she mumbled awkwardly.
"We can all close our eyes…” Gangle tried to defend her idea.
"Oh that’s even WORSE!” Jax choked out between laughther.
"Ah, screw you Jax, it’s just cheeky fun!” Zooble said but that only made the rabbid laugh more.
Ragatha’s face turned from embarrassed to determined.
"Yeah, harmless fun!” She said then rolled her eye and lined over to place a little peck on Pomni’s cheek. "There!”
Jax stopped laughing, and was catching his breath, hiding his face in his hand and mumbling something incoherent.
"I hope you don’t… don’t mind, Pomni!” Ragatha said, clearly realising she might’ve crossed some line. Pomni rubbed her cheek with her hand, rolling her eyes.
"Nah, it’s fine.”
"You’re all such loosers oh my god…” Jax murmured, still chuckling slightly.
"Oh, but they didn’t loose! How could they if they did complete the dare?!” Caine said, pointing at the bottle.
"I ment in LIFE.”
"Ignore him.” Zooble just rolled their eyes. "Your turn Ragatha.”
"Oh! That’s right, okay…”
She spoon the bottle, and it took all of Caine’s will power not to jump from excitement when it stopped, pointing at HIM.
"Okay, truth or dare?”
"TRUTH!” He yelled, hitting the table with his hands. Others exchainged, what seemed like amused looks.
"Oh, I always took you for a „dare” kind of guy but…” Ragatha started, but Caine immediatelly chimed in, standing up, to make the importance of what he was about to say clearer.
"I PROMISED TO BE ABSOLUTELLY, 100%, ENTIRELLY AND OPENLY HONEST WITH YOU! AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO SHOW THAT THAN CHOSE TO SPILL ALL MY SECRETS RIGHT HERE AND THERE IN THIS INTIMATELY CASUAL ENVIROMENT?!”
"Okay, yeah, right no problem… you can… you can sit back down tho.” Ragatha said, exchanging little smiles with Pomni. Caine immediatelly plopped back down onto his pillow-seat.
"So…. Hmmm…” Ragatha searched her surroundings and other’s faces for a clue. Caine observed her with huge, eager eyes.
What was she gonna ask about? About the circus? About programming? About Caine himself? That last thought made him almost glitch… would she like to know what else he kept from them? Or maybe something about the past players, or maybe…
Gangle murmured something to her ear.
"Oh! Good one!” Ragatha smiled, her shoulders relaxing.
"Hey, that’s cheating!” Jax pointed an accusatory finger at the girls.
"You can’t cheat in truth or dare.” Zooble scoffed at him.
"Yeah, you can!”
"Only if you lie or wiggle our way out of the dare.” Pomni pointed out.
"And you’re now an expert in sleepover games?” Jax rolled his eyes at her.
"You’d be surprised.”
"Okay, fine, whatever, just ask him a question already before he explodes.” Jax pointed with his tumb at Caine, who was trying his best to sit still, while his entire model shook in anticipation.
"Oh… oh right! So, Caine… what’s with the bees?” Ragatha asked, glancing quickly back at Gangle as if to make sure she used her idea right.
Caine stopped shaking, as an error in his processing accured. He quickly swapped it away from before his eyes.
"What?” He asked, a bit clueless.
"You seem to… Draw them an awfull lot.” Gangle chimmed in.
"You noticed?” Caine couldn’t place the feeling he was experiencing, but he believed an expression "stomach drop” would be something a human in his place would use.
"Yeah. And they appear in the adventures too.” Ragatha nodded. "So…. Are they like your favourite animal or…” She let her voice linger for a moment as if waiting for Caine to finish the sentence.
He was still gathering himself after realising that…. Humans noticed. Humans knew he liked bees, and they noticed. And they wanted to know more about it, THEY WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM… The question was friendly, genuine, personal. And it made Caine…
"Can you hear us?”
Someone’s hand was on his shoulder. He jerked slightly as if getting out of some sort of trance.
"Oops, sorry there, almost… overheated…” He cleared his nonexistant throat.
"Bees, huh? Well…” He still felt his processing lag a bit, but everyone looked at him with curiocity, waiting for his answer so he… tried to power through it.
"Bees you see! Fascinating critters! Hard workers, sacrificing everything for their hive! Without them the world would die, but people still pay them no mind! Some are even afraid of them, even tho they only sting when threatened, and die right after! Such a ridiculoud safety mechanism isn’t it?! And they make honey! Something sweet and usefull, a treat to all!” He blabbered, partially because he was still trying to calm down, but also because he had no clear answer…”And they are so cute and fluffy! And they are easy to draw! And…. and… And I also suppose my programmers interest in insects could have something to do with my own… fascination?
He looked at everyone around. Even tho it should be impossible, he felt hot. Was that answer satisfactionarry? He wasn’t sure, as it was the first time in his artificial life that he ever tried to explain something like that. He knew he liked bees, but he never even CONSIDERED why… Oh how he hoped he didn’t mess it up, that his answer wasn't to long, or to silly or to vague or…
"Well that makes sense.” Ragatha said with a warm smile. "Bees can be cute.”
Caine exhailed with relief.
"Your turn.” Pomni reminded him.
"Right!” he grabbed the bottle and it spoon, landing on Pomni.
"Tr….” She hasitated. "…You know what? Dare.”
Others looked at her with… worry? Was it worry?
"You sure about that, Pomni?” Ragatha murmured ot her.
"Yeah, it’s fine.”
Caine stared at them for a moment, connecting some data in his mind.
"Why wouldn’t it be fine?”
Others hesitated. He knew that look, the "we don’t want to hurt your feelings” or "we don’t want to be hurt by YOU” look. He opened his jaws to say something but Ragatha spoke before he could.
"It’s just that your ideas tend to be a bit too… wacky, for us, sometimes, and Pomni could… be overwhelmed or…” Ragatha was visibly sweating.
"I said it’s fine.” Pomni reminded.
"Are you scared of a dare from me?” Caine asked and others fell quiet for a moment, exchanging worried looks.
"Noooo….” Ragatha started but Jax interrupted her.
"Yes.”
"Jax!”
"What?! It’s true! Not on the "oh no, he’s gonna kill us” note, more on the "Oh no, he’s crazy and can’t read sociall ques” one!
"Honestly, I’m more scared of dares from YOU than Caine, even if he was still in full power!” Zooble snapped at Jax.
"You’re scared of me….?” Caine felt his hands shake.
"No we’re not! Don’t listen to Jax, he’s wording it that way on PURPOSE!” Ragatha shot the purple rabbit an angry stare.
"We mean that we want to chill and knowing you, you’d ask for something… wild! And I just wanted to make sure Pomni was okay with that… Em… possiblity.”
Caine looked at her, unsure. He was trying to keep himself more… grounded as they asked him. Read the room and all. They did have all the right to feel uncomfortable with his more crazy side, with him. But he also had the right to feel a bit hurt… right? No, no, he shouldn’t! He should not! He was suppose to try better, be better, he was suppose to be calm and part of the group and he would never ask anyone to do something dangerous… right? Not now, for sure, when there was no safety net of a magical snap of his fingers that could fix everuthing in no time, except for the most important things like trust, and mental health and…
"GUYS I SAID ITS FINE!” Pomni yelled making everyone finally stop arguing and snaping Caine’s racing thoughts back into the moment.
„"t’s fine. I’m not worried or uncomfortable, you don’t need to nanny me or anything.” She said, shifting in her seat. "Plus, we’re suppose to have fun. All of us.” She turned to Caine.
"So? What’s the dare?”
Caine hesitated. He didn’t want to prove other’s worries right, he didn’t want to ruin it…
"Um….” He hummed, unsure. He could feel his model twitching a bit. "The dare… well…”
He looked around. All the ideas that were coming to his head were either impossble or felt wrong… He grabbed at his pajama, missing the bowtie that he would usually fidget with in a situation like this.
"Hey.” Pomni’s voice grabbed his attention again.
"I mean it. It’s okay. Just… dare me whatever.” She said. Her gaze was warm and stripped of any worry or fear or hatered… Caine swallowed. Useless action, but making him feel less bad.
"Okay. Well…” He took a deep breath. What could be something that’s still a "dare” but not… too wild, that was actually doable right now, something silly something harmless and…
An answer appeared in his mind, like a pop-up communication.
"Sing us a song!” He almost yelled, just to get this stupid command out of his system already.
Pomni stared.
Caine looked over everyone. Did he blew it? Was it bad, was it what they feared? Or was it TOO tame and they would roll their eyes on the non-fun he brought to the table.
Pomni scoffed and shook her head.
"Okay…” She got up and cleared her throat. "Any requests?” She asked, glancing around with a playfull smirk. Caine felt as if a giant boulder just got lifted off of his squashed model. Others chuckled and shifted in their seats.
"Maybe something we all know?” Gangle chimed in.
"Yeah, like a Disney movie?” Jax teased sarcastically.
His smirk turned into annoyed scowl when everyone started belting "Be our guest”.
Pomni didn’t try to put on a french accent but she had all the lyrics memorised. At the end everyone beside Jax laughed, and once Pomni sat back down, slightly out of breath, Caine clapped his hands.
"Marvelous! This was amazing! What an amazing musical number! Sounds like an absolute SHOW-STOPPER!”
"Oh it is!” Ragatha chuckled, fixing her pillow. "And in the movie the visuals are doing an amazing job hyping it up!”
"It wasn’t nominated for best picture for nothing.” Zooble said.
"Tsk, it didn’t win tho.” Jax murmured, but got ignored.
"Allright, hope noone recorded that…” Pomni joked, grabbing the bottle. "Lets go…”
It spun and stopped, pointing at Jax.
"Dare.” He said with a shrug. "Hit me with your best shot.” He taunted.
"Show us what happens when you hold your breath.” Pomni said blandly, in a way that made it seem as if she had that prepared for a long time.
"Tsk… really? Can’t you think of anything less boring?”
"Oh, what, are you scared?” Zooble teased.
"Scared?! Of what?! I’m just saying, it’s a loooow hanging fruit.”
"You can always bite the bullet and loose!” Caine reminded him in his ring-leader tone. Pomni smirked at that, which made him feel… seen. Even if he didn’t fully understand the entire situation.
"Fine! Whatever! Stop blowing this shit out of proportions!” Jax rolled his eyes and reluctantly stood up.
He crossed his arms and held his breath, avoiding anyone’s gaze.
After a moment his body began moving upwards. His limbs and spine stretching like rubber. He was getting taller, but also thinner, not growing, just remodeling. Of course Caine knew what that hidden ability was going to be. He knew all of the players "no breath quirks”. But he never actually SAW it in action.
After a moment, Jax opened his mouth and let out air, then took a new breath. His body got back in shape immediatelly, like a rubber band. He sat back on his couch, still pounting.
"There. Happy?” He murmured.
All the other humans looked at eachother.
"That was… well that was defenitelly something.” Zooble was the first to comment.
"I hoped it wold be something funnier, the way you were hiding it.” Pomni shrugged.
"Yeah, well, sorry to disappoint.” Jax send her a fake smirk and grabbed the bottle.
It spun and pointed at… Cain again!
"Looks like someone’s getting all the attention today.” Jax said in his usuall, snarky tone. "Truth or dare, dentures?”
Caine already chose truth today, so the logical move would be to try the other option.
"Dare.” He said, wiggling his nonexistant toes in excitement.
"Oho! Okay, I know this one already…” Jax’s smirk widened menecingly. "I want you to swear.”
Caine tilted his head.
"Huh?”
"You know, since the stupid filter is off.”
"You want me to promise you something?” Caine felt confused. That didn’t sound like it would fit the game. Jax shook his head with a pitifull chuckle.
"No, dum-dum, I want you to curse! I’ve never heard you say a no-no word before. So come on!”
Caine still stared at the rabbit blankly. Curse? He never cursed… not out loud. The thought made him feel… weird.
"Uh… what word?”
"Any of them. Bitch, shit, cunt, ass, fuck… yeah, the ultimate classic! Say fuck, Caine.”
"Um…” Caine hesitated, fumbling his thumbs. It was just a word. A bad word. He knew that word, he knew all of those words, you need to know the words that you can’t say not to say them, you need to put them into system for the system to catch and censor them. The child-friendly filter was off, so everyone around could freely swear but Caine just never… never did.
"Come on, we’re all adults here!”
"Jax, stop pushing him.” Ragatha scolded the rabbit.
"I hate to agree with him, but it’s something I’d like to hear too.” Zooble said in a light tone. As if it wasn’t a bit deal.
It wasn’t. It wasn’t and it shouldn’t be, it’s just a word. Simple, short word, that everyone says. Usefull to express various things. Swearing was human… words especially chosen to have a meaning, already holding emotions… And he wanted to understand humans, to be like them. It shouldn’t be hard.
"Say „fuck”, Caine.” Jax repeated himself.
"I will, let me just… it’s not that it’s difficult, I just never… before…” Caine murmured. His model felt even more uncomfortable than before, as he shifted in his spot, trying to gather himself.
"Is the filter still on for you…?” Pomni asked carefully.
"No, no. It’s just… I can say it! It’s just words and I’m all mouth afterall!” He tried to use a joke to make himself less nervous. Why was he nervous? It’s just one word. Said in that context it wouldn’t even hold any weight. Just few sounds put together.
"Say fuck!” Jax taunted. "Come on! Say it! Say FUCK!”
Caine grabbed his upper jaw as he tried to stop his body from trembling. Just a word. Just a word. One word. Easy word…
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Jax began to chant. Someone spoke something else, but the rabbit’s voice drowned it out. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, Caine, Fuck! Fuck!”
Errors popped up in Caine’s mind, as he tried to compose himself, focus on anything outside of his head, of those stupid four letters.
He felt his body glitch slightly few times. He felt hot, overwhelmed, embarassed and annoyed… Finally, when he felt someone’s hand on his shoulder again, he snapped. He jumped up and yelled.
"FFFFUCK!”
His voice echoed around the circus.
There was a silence, disrupted only by his own heavy breathing. His emotions quickly cooled down into something awkward. Everyone stared at him.
"Well look at that! Baby’s first f-bomb!” Jax spoke finally in a mocking tone.
Caine still couldn’t move. He felt… very uncomfortable, and he was sure that all the eyes focused on him were not the only reason.
"Caine?” Pomni asked, her voice carefull. "You’re okay?”
Caine clenched his fists. He wanted to answer but his own vocal output seemed to be unresponsive. Did he break it by screaming?
"Hey it’s fine, you did great, I mean it’s just a game…” Ragatha spoke but for some unexplainable reason, Caine, before he could even process what he was doing, snapped at her.
"MY WHOLE EXISTANCE IS A GAME!” he yelled. He didn’t mean to. Ragatha was taken aback, but closed her mouth, a guilty glint in her eyes.
"Hey, okay, let’s all just cool down.” Pomni spoke gesturing for Caine to sit back down. Despite how awfully stiff his knees felt, he slowly did, looking down at his hands. His gums felt hot with embarassement. He shut his jaws to hide his eyes. He wanted to apologise but his voice seemed to not be working properly again.
"Whaaaat?!” Jax asked, probably because someone shot him an angry look. "Oh come on, this was the most harmless thing I could’ve think of, and you're all still pissed at me?!”
"You didn’t have to push so hard…” That was Ragatha’s voice, speaking thought gritted teeth.
"Oh please, not my fault baby-teeth over here is a fucking ticking bomb all the damn time!”
"Caine, are you okay?” Gangle. That was Gangle.
Caine opened his mouth and looked up slightly. Everyone was staring at him. Some with worry, some with annoyence.
His processing picked up, almost making him choke.
"I… um… I’m sorry I just need to… walk, over to that wall over there all of a sudden!” In a rush of digital equivalent of adrenaline he got up and basically run away from the table.
He actually almost run INTO the wall, colliding his model with it as he breathed heavily. It was ridiculous, he didn’t need ot breathe! Yet here he was, hyperventilating in the corner. He grabbed at his pajama-shirt, just to do something with his hands. Ridiculous. He was so ridiculous. Freaking out after saying a swear word, ruining the game with his stupid pride and stupid temper and stupid… stupid…
He wheezed. What was that? 4 of 3. The rule, the technioque. Take air in for 3 seconds, wait 3 seconds, let air out for 3 seconds, wait 3 seconds, in again for 3…
He did the exercise, while tripping over his feet. He didn’t know why, or how, but he stumbled to the pillow fort. He reached his hand to move the pillows, to get inside, to curl up in the dark and just lie like that. Even if Kinger wouldn’t recognize him, even if he would not be fully there, he needed to be close to someone who was not a whitness to his crashout from a moment ago. He needed to be close to Kinger…
He stopped.
But that was selfish wasn’t it? Kinger needed peace. To get better. And Caine wanted him to get better. Caine didn’t want to be selfish. He didn’t…
He flopped onto the floor, pressing his back to the pillowfort’s wall. He continued his breathing exercises.
Ridiculous. He was ridiculous, and disturbing Kinger because of his ridiculous emotions was selfish.
Caine felt salt in his mouth and his gums becoming wet. He hid his head in his shoulders, drawing knees to his chest. Why couldn’t he just have a one normal day? To not make a fool out of himself in front of humans?! They showed him such compassion and grace, letting him exist after everything he did to them, letting him learn and how does he pay back?
By ruining the game.
By ruining their FUN.
He sobbed into his pajama-sleeves.
He barelly registered that after a while someone sat beside him. He gathered his breathing and peaked from between his teeth to see Pomni. She had a soft look on her face, no anger or ridicule.
"Hey.” She said after he swallowed hard and lifted his head slightly.
"Hey…” He choked out, trying to wipe the tears with his arm.
"So… wanna tell me what happened?” She asked. Caine mumbled something even he wasn’t sure of and shrugged.
" Idunnoooo…” he added after few deeper breaths.
"Is it about Jax beeing an asshole or the whole swearing thing?” She asked handing him a tissue.
He had no nose but he used it to wipe some of the tears.
"I didn’t want to… I shouldn’t have said it…” He hickuped.
"Then why did you?” She asked, tilting her head. "You could’ve just said no and switch to truth or you know…”
He didn’t know. He really didn’t know and it must’ve been visible on his face. Pomni sighed.
"It was just a game. For fun, not for competition. Noone would blame you for refusing something you didn’t feel right with.”
"B-but… I wanted to… I wa-ah-anted to play… to be pah-art of it…” Caine’s body shook with new sobs. Pomni shifted closer so their shoulders touched. It felt slightly grounding, letting Caine focus on his breathing again.
"And you still would be. We probably should’ve spell out those "rules” at the start tho, sorry.”
"I still ruined it… the fun the… the… adventure…” He whimpered grabbing his eyeballs in his hands and squizing as if hoping to stop them from producing any more tears.
He always ruined everything...
"Hey, no you didn’t! Noone ruined anything, even tho Jax surelly tried…” She clicked her tongue. "We didn’t know that swearing would be such a big deal to you, if we did, I’m sure we’d all… well almost all, would respect that.”
"But that’s the point, Pomni! I didn’t know either!” he said, letting go of his eyes and turning to her. "I… I know those words, for sure, and I didn't use them because of the filter but now it’s gone I shouldn’t…” He sighed. "I guess it just reminded me of how… new I am to all of…” He gestured at his small, powerless model. "Of this… And how different I am from…” He sobbed again.
Pomni let out a knowing sigh.
"I just want to be one of you...” He added more to himself than her.
"Well… listening to Jax is not a way to it, let me tell you that.” Pomni said with a little scoff.
They sat in silence for a moment.
"You didn’t ruin the fun. The fact you didn’t have fun anymore did. Because games like that are about us all, enjoying it, together. Not someone having a win over someone else.”
Caine searched her face for a moment.
"I’m sorry…” He murmured finally.
"It’s okay.”
"I should probably apologise to Ragatha as well.”
"Wanna do it now?” Pomni asked. Caine just slowy nodded. She helped him up, and he send one last longing look towards the pillow fort. He still turned around and walked after the jester girl towards the slumber-party area.
"Oh, you’re back!” Ragatha said, once they stood in front of the table again. The bottle was taken off of it, put beside other snack and drinks.
Caine was fidgeting with the hemn of his pajama-shirt.
"Caine?” Pomni nudged him slightly. He looked up at Ragatha, guilt twisting his code.
"I’m sorry for snapping at you.” He said.
"Oh, it’s fine. I probbaly should’ve worded that better…”
"And I’m sorry for ruinging the game.” He addend unprompted.
"Eh, we were already growing tired of it.” Zooble said waving their hand.
"We wanna try another board game again.” Gangle chimed in. "Wanna join?"
"You’re not… mad?” Caine asked awkwardly.
Gangle shook her head. Pomni and Ragatha send him smiles. Zooble said a simple "not really”, and Jax just scoffed looking away, disinterested.
Caine sat back down as the humans discussed which game to play next. They inclueded him. Maybe Pomni was right. Maybe they really didn’t mind…
They played for few more hours, before setting in their sleeping bags for the night. And as the others drifter to sleep, with some whispers and chuckles shared between eachother, Caine sighed with contempt. He glanced towards the pillow fort in the distant, a bitter-sweet knot forming in his chest.
Tomorrow Kinger will feel better, and then Caine could tell him about tonight. About monopoly, about the bees, about Pomni singing, and most importantly - about how much fun they had.
And hopefully, next time, Kinger would join them too and they’d all have fun together.
Yes, those were nice thoughts to drift into unnecessairy sleep to...