Chapter Text
Loki stared at the ceiling in slight shock. He had been thoroughly pummeled by the Midgardian berserker. Against his will, a long, keening whine of pain escaped him.
“Puny god,” the beast muttered, then lumbered off somewhere, presumably to go smash more of the Chitauri.
Loki didn't try to move. Everything hurt.
Time passed. He wasn't sure how long it had been when suddenly he felt an immense pressure in his mind, and he couldn't help but cry out as the connection between him and The Other was violently severed. He gasped as involuntary tears pooled in his eyes at the sheer amount of pain.
He blinked them away before they could fall. He was no coward; he was not weak.
The Midgardians must have succeeded in closing the portal and stopping his little invasion. As the leader of said invasion, he should have been furious, but in truth he felt such utter relief that he wanted to let out a whoop and start dancing around the room. Of course, his numerous broken bones would probably prevent such a thing, but he could imagine it.
For the first time during the entire invasion, he was alone in his own head. There was no sickly voice whispering in the back of his mind, promising unspeakable horrors if he failed. He grinned.
He knew he was not truly free, however. He never would be. That thought darkened his mood considerably.
Well, that was where Phase Two of his master plan came in. It was time to surrender, and then Thor would take him back home. On Asgard, he would be safe from the Mad Titan and the Black Order.
Or he would simply be executed. Either outcome was acceptable to him.
A short while later, he looked up to see the six Avengers looming over him menacingly. The archer had his bow pulled back, ready to attack if he tried anything.
He almost scoffed. As if he could do anything in his condition.
“If it's all the same to you, I think I'll have that drink now,” he quipped. He may have been “defeated,” but he still had some of his pride. He would surrender with dignity.
Besides, this was all going according to plan.
He permitted them to chain his wrists without putting up a fight. It was a tad demeaning, but he had endured worse. He allowed himself the amusement of taunting them a little—it was just a bit of fun. Still, when Thor slapped the gag on him and muttered for him to “shut up,” Loki couldn't help but feel annoyed.
After a few minutes of walking and a brief run-in with some SHIELD agents, they finally arrived at the place in New York that Thor would take Loki home from.
"What's gonna happen to him?" one of the Avengers asked out of the blue, even though Thor had already told them.
"He and the Tesseract will be brought back to Asgard," Thor repeated, a bit confused at the obvious question. Loki shifted in his bonds. It almost seemed like he had exhaled in relief at the confirmation of the news, but that was an utterly ridiculous thought.
"Okay, well we kinda already knew that," Tony replied. The Avengers had agreed easily enough when Thor told them that Loki would face justice on Asgard, content to let the magical alien space wizards sort out their own problems. Besides, it wasn’t like they had the technology to contain him on Earth. "I meant what's gonna happen to him there?" he clarified, mainly out of curiosity.
Thor paused, his face scrunching up in contemplation. "I had not thought about it," he admitted.
Loki rolled his eyes.
"I suppose he will be... executed."
The Avengers seemed a tad bit uncomfortable at Thor's words, aside for Clint and Natasha, who seemed to understand that sometimes this was necessary. It wasn't like they hadn't killed before—all of them had fought people, and knew "it was them or me.” But somehow it felt different when the guy was defenseless and not, well, actively trying to murder them anymore.
Loki didn't seem surprised, however. Quite the contrary in fact. He seemed to accept his fate rather easily, simply nodding at Thor's statement, as if this was something he had expected to happen all along.
"My friends," Thor pleaded after a brief moment of silence. "Will you grant me one request?"
Tony's eyebrows raised. "Depends on what it is, Point Break."
"Will you... watch my brother for a while? I must speak with my father alone about Loki's fate."
All the Avengers' jaws collectively fell open, even the super spies'.
"Are you insane?!" Tony demanded.
"No way!" Clint exclaimed.
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Thor," Steve said regretfully.
"I don't think the Other Guy would like that very much... and neither would I," Bruce admitted.
"Thor, he killed almost a hundred people. He killed Coulson. Maybe we should just... let him get what's coming to him," Natasha said.
Thor was stunned at the Midgardians' words. His face fell. "I... see. You are right. I am sorry, my friends, I suppose I was simply blinded by my affection for my brother."
Speaking of... Thor looked to see how Loki had reacted to the news.
It was not what any of them had expected. Loki had gone deathly pale (even more so than usual) and his eyes were wide with fear.
"Brother?" Thor asked. Then his voice softened. "Do not worry, Loki. I will not let Father execute you."
But Loki only shook his head. He tried to say something, but he had apparently forgotten about the gag, as all that came out was a muffled mmph. His face scrunched up in annoyance.
Thor realized that Loki was attempting to speak, so he removed the gag without hesitation. In all honesty it had been a decision made in the heat of anger and afterwards he had felt bad about muzzling his brother like a dog. He was grateful for the excuse to take it off.
Loki's voice was smaller than Thor had heard in centuries. "Brother, please bring me back to Asgard," he practically pleaded.
Thor's eyebrows shot up in surprise and confusion. Loki had called him brother. And he... wanted to go back home to Asgard? Even when he knew what awaited him there? Why?
He was not alone in his bewilderment. The other Avengers looked similarly surprised, having expected Loki to say the exact opposite, although they suspected a trick of some kind.
"I cannot," Thor stated evenly. "Do not worry, brother, I am sure we will figure something out with the mortals. Perhaps Jane will—"
"No, you don't understand," Loki gasped, looking absolutely terrified. It was such a jarring shift from what they had come to expect from the would-be conqueror that the Avengers weren't sure how to react. "You must take me to Asgard!"
Thor frowned. "But, brother, they will execute you!"
"Let them! I don't care!"
Thor's face twisted in pain. "What are you saying?"
"You heard me!" he snapped. "I care not what happens to me there. Just take me back, you oaf!"
"No."
Loki's breath caught. He felt dizzy and black spots danced at the corner of his vision. His legs buckled underneath him, and he fell to his knees on the rough ground. The sudden movement sent the Avengers reaching for their weapons, but he made no attempt to rise.
Loki looked up at his brother. Terrified green eyes met surprised and concerned blue ones. This can’t be happening. His plan... the Titan... Trust Thor to mess everything up!
If you fail, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you.
He will make you long for something as sweet as pain.
Loki had definitely failed him (and on purpose, no less, something the Titan would doubtless discover after sifting through his mind). He needed to convince Thor to bring him to Asgard, the one place where he might be safe from Th... from the Mad Titan.
So he did the only thing he could do in this situation. Pride utterly forgotten, he begged.
"Please, brother, if you truly love me as you claim, if the past one-thousand years has meant anything at all to you… you will take me back to Asgard."
Thor looked confused and conflicted. "But—why?"
"Does it matter?" he asked weakly. He realized he was still groveling on the dirt in front of Thor, but made no move to get up. His body ached and his mind raced; he honestly didn't think he could stand again if he tried.
"Of course it matters! Loki, you were dead, and—"
"I AM BEGGING YOU!" he screamed, voice raw and more vulnerable than Thor had ever heard it. Thor and the rest of the Avengers gaped in shock.
Loki breathed deeply after his outburst, not breaking eye contact despite the angry tears blurring his vision. Thor looked away first and Loki hung his head.
"I am sorry, brother," Thor murmured. "I cannot bear to watch you die again."
I will die again either way, Thor. If you do this for me, at least it will be quick and painless.
This wasn't going to work. He had to change tactics.
Thor refused to bring him to Asgard because he did not wish to see Loki executed. Okay, he could work with that. All he had to do was make his brother want to kill him.
He faltered. There was a simple solution, but he had never... not since...
It was his only hope. That or petty insults, but he had hurled enough of those at the thunderer already that a few more would hardly make a difference. Stamping out his revulsion, Loki concentrated and tugged at the small thread of magic that kept his shapeshifting magic in place.
Blue spread outward from the tips of Loki's fingers, radiating towards the rest of his body. He was suddenly much more aware of the temperature, even though it was not hot out by Midgardian standards.
Shifting to his true appearance didn't feel wrong. In fact, it felt so right, and that was what scared him more than anything else.
The mortals were watching with a mix of fascination and suspicion. He did not care about their reactions, however. He cared only about Thor's.
Loki glanced up, expecting to see a murderous expression on Thor's face. He assumed his parents had told him the truth about his “brother’s” heritage, but he was sure actually seeing it with his own eyes would still be quite a shock.
Thor despised the Frost Giants. If anything would make him fly into a rage, this would be it. As it was, Thor simply looked shocked.
Loki squeezed his eyes shut and tensed, bracing himself for the blow...
It never came. Loki opened his eyes.
Thor was still staring at him, his expression a mixture of awe and guilt.
"Well?" Loki asked roughly, voice exhausted. He made no attempt to hide it. "Aren't you going to kill me?"
Thor's eyes widened considerably. "What? Of course not!"
Loki summoned every single ounce of hatred he bore for his brother, his father, his mother, Asgard, the Jotnar, the Mad Titan and his children, and himself. He channeled the rage and fear and pain into one single glare that was so terrifyingly withering that Thor actually stumbled back a step.
"You once vowed to kill them all," he began, voice deceptively calm. "Well, I'm here, Thor!" he screamed. "Slay the monster! Slaughter the beast who tricked his way into the royal family, the spawn of the Jotun king who lied and cheated and wormed his way into your heart!" he gasped for breath. "Kill me!"
Thor was crying, he realized. Thor didn't cry. Thor never cried.
"Brother..." Thor whispered.
"I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER!" his throat already felt raw from screaming, but that was something he had grown accustomed to over the past year.
Thor was still crying. Loki didn't understand.
"Why won't you hate me? Why won't you get angry?" he asked, genuinely confused. "I tried to kill you. More than once! I am the one who let the Frost Giants in during your coronation! And I attacked your precious Midgard. I am the monster that parents tell their children about at night." He was ranting, he realized belatedly. Cold tears rolled down his blue face. "Look at me. LOOK AT ME! What do you see?"
"I see my brother," Thor declared.
Loki's breath hitched. It wasn't fair. The one time he actually wanted Thor to be angry at him, to attack him, to hate him, he wouldn't. It wasn't fair!
"We are not brothers! We were never brothers! It was all a lie! You fool, don't you get it? Our entire lives were built on a lie! Aren't you angry that you were deceived? That a monster walked among you this whole time, undiscovered? Who knew what I could have been planning!"
"I care not about your heritage, Loki. You are my brother! You were but a babe when Father found you! You are and will always be my little brother. This changes nothing."
"I committed treason, Thor, I let the Jotunns into Asgard to ruin your coronation!" he raved. "I was jealous, so I wanted to ruin your big day! And then I tricked you into going to Jotunheim so you would be banished and I could steal the throne!"
"That's not the true reason why," Thor declared firmly. Loki shut up, red eyes going wide.
"I wasn't ready to be king. You helped Father realize that, you helped me realize it. You didn't do it out of jealousy, you did it out of loyalty to Asgard."
"Lies," he muttered, but his heart wasn't in it.
"Going to Jotunheim was my foolish decision, no matter your clever manipulations. You had no idea we would ever get that far. You didn't know I would be banished. And you told me yourself that you never wanted the throne!"
"That's not true! I... I changed my mind—er, I lied. It was all a lie. I wanted the throne, I was jealous of you, so I sabotaged your coronation and tried to kill you while you were on Midgard."
Thor simply shook his head, dismissing Loki's words. "Before my coronation, you said something to me. You told me to never doubt that you loved me. You were not lying about that, were you?"
"Of—of course I was! I'm a monster, Thor, plain and simple. Put me out of my misery already!"
“You’re not a monster, Loki,” Thor stated firmly.
“I’m a Frost Giant! They’re all savage beasts, and I’m one of them! You said you would kill them all. Whatever happened to that?!” Loki demanded, practically foaming at the mouth with rage.
“I no longer believe that,” Thor said simply, ashamed of his past words and actions.
“What is this newfound love for the Frost Giants?” Loki sneered in disgust.
“My time on Midgard taught me much, Loki. And… you are a Jotun, so surely they cannot all be bad.”
For a moment Loki was speechless. He recovered quickly and was about to reply, but Thor continued speaking.
"Your actions did not come from a place of jealousy," Thor stated. "I realize that now. I should have realized it sooner. I have failed you, brother, and I am so, so sorry. What happened to us? When did we become like this?"
"We were always like this," Loki reminded him, a twinge of sadness in his voice. "You were just too blind to see it."
"No, I refuse to believe that!" Thor exclaimed.
"You can refuse to believe it all you want. It changes nothing about the truth."
"Remember that time when we were around four-hundred years of age?" Thor began. "I had insulted your magic, and you wished to prove me wrong, so you turned into a snake, because you knew I loved snakes, and then when I went to pick up the snake to admire it, you turned back into yourself and said 'Bleagh, it's me!' and then you stabbed me."
Loki couldn't help the fond smile that momentarily slipped on his face at the memory. But it was gone as soon as it came, and the bitter rage was back. "The beast was showing his monstrous tendencies even from a young age, I see," he countered.
"What? No!" Thor exclaimed. "’Twas merely a jest!"
"Was it?" Loki questioned with raised eyebrows. "Or was it Laufey’s son trying to assassinate the prince of the enemy realm?"
"We were but children! You're not making any sense." Thor blinked. "Which is strange for you."
Loki rolled his red eyes.
"What about the time I first took you flying on Mjölnir?" Thor asked, holding up said hammer for emphasis. "You were so nervous, but I promised you'd be safe. We flew over the forest and you were laughing the entire time. We returned home afterwards and ate supper together."
Loki frowned, his mind cloudy. "I remember no such thing." He blinked. "Wait, I do. But that wasn't what occurred." His eyes narrowed. "As I recall, you took me flying without my consent, and I was screaming the entire time, not laughing. When we landed, you dropped me, and I broke my arm."
Thor looked bewildered. "That did not happen at all!"
"That is how I remember it," Loki insisted, although he seemed oddly unsure.
A beat passed. "I still don't understand why you won't kill me," Loki admitted, an uncharacteristically honest expression on his face. "You seemed to have no qualms about it when we fought on the Bifrost."
"What are you talking about?" Thor's eyes were full of confusion and horror.
"Whatever do you mean? You know what happened," Loki glared.
"Brother... I am sorry that I had to shatter the Bifrost like that. It was the only thing I could think of to stop you. But I never meant for us to fall! You are right, I was blinded by my rage, and refused to see reason. I never bothered to ask why you were attacking me, or what had happened to cause you such pain... I only found out the truth afterwards. I have failed you as a brother. I am sorry."
Loki's brows knit together in consternation. "Yes, that's all well and good, but that was not what I was referring to."
Thor looked perplexed. "What, then?"
Loki stared blankly at Thor as if he was the dumbest creature in the entire universe. "I am talking about when you grabbed me by the neck and threw me over the edge of the Bifrost, you idiot!" he hissed.
Thor looked absolutely horrified. His mouth opened and half-closed several times, an odd choking sound coming from him.
"Loki, that wasn't what happened," he corrected gently, after a moment.
"Wasn't it?" Loki snapped back, averting his gaze. He wanted to rub at his neck, the memory of the pain still fresh on his mind, but then he remembered his arms were chained together.
"Loki, you... we were hanging off the edge of the Bifrost—Father caught us before we could fall. I was holding onto Gungnir, which you were also grabbing onto. Father had caught me by the leg. We were dangling over the abyss. You said something to him—I couldn't hear what it was. Then, he said something back, and you... you..." Thor seemed to be struggling to hold it together. He took a deep breath. "You let go," he finished, voice breaking. "You let go and fell into the void. We thought you dead, Loki."
Loki's mind was spinning. "That's not—I don't—" Somehow, what Thor had told him sounded true, but that was impossible. Unless... the Mad Titan had...
The Mad Titan. How could he have forgotten? He had been so lost in the task of convincing his brother to kill him, that he had fallen into merely arguing with him instead. This wouldn't do.
"That matters not!" Loki insisted, attempting to get them back on track. It was starting to feel unbearably warm out; he should probably shift back into his false Aesir skin soon. Not yet, though. He only needed a little more time to convince Thor.
"Loki," Thor said, voice gravely serious. "What happened to you during the year you were missing? Where were you? We mourned you! Why didn't you come back to us?"
Loki saw red. Thor was seriously blaming him for not returning home... after everything?
Stop! This is good for your plan, you want him to blame you, a voice in his mind hissed, but he silenced it.
"Don't you think I would have if I could?" he demanded rhetorically. "A better question to ask would be why did you not come for me. No, it was easier for you to think me dead! Poor little Loki who went mad in his last hours and attempted to kill all the Frost Giants. I heard he even attacked his brother!" Loki mocked. "Yes, it was easier to believe that I was dead, because then you would not have to face the truth—that your ‘precious little brother’ was not who you thought he was!”
“I would have given anything to have you back!” Thor roared. “We all would have! Heimdall searched endlessly for you. Every day Mother spent hours sobbing in your empty room! Father became more distant than ever, and I could hear him weeping when he thought he was alone!”
Loki looked stunned at Thor’s admission. For a moment it seemed like he was about to cry, but then a venomous glare overtook his features.
“And what about you, Thor?” he demanded. “You claim you love me. Where were you during all this?”
“For months my friends and I grieved for you!” Thor bellowed. “When we heard the news, that you had been spotted on Midgard, we were so relieved. Father sent me here as soon as he could gather enough dark energy to do so.”
By the time Thor had found him on Midgard, it was far too late. “You weren’t there,” Loki spat. “You weren’t there when I needed you. You abandoned me. You say you mourned me? No, you mourned for the shadow you thought I was. You never truly cared about me at all!”
“Of course I did! What do you take me for, Loki?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
"Loki," Thor pleaded. "Tell me. Why did you attack Midgard?"
Who controls the would-be king? The memory of Thor's words echoed in his mind.
"I wanted a throne," he stated simply. "My father had one, my adoptive father had one, you had one... I wanted one too."
Thor shook his head. "That cannot be the actual reason."
"I'm telling the truth, Thor," Loki lied. "Besides, these little Midgardians with their petty squabbles need someone like me to guide them. There would be peace and prosperity under my rule! It worked for Odin, so why wouldn't it work for me?"
Thor frowned deeply. "That doesn't... no, that doesn't add up."
Loki raised an eyebrow. "How so, Thor? Do enlighten me."
"Your plan... Loki, I mean no offense, but your plan was utterly abysmal," Thor declared. Loki looked a little shocked at his words. "When you and I fought side by side with our friends, you always came up with the best of plans. They always worked perfectly—well, most of the time," he admitted with a small grin that Loki had to stop himself from returning. "And the times where they didn't, that was because me or one of our friends had deviated from it."
"What are you trying to say? Get to the point already," Loki snapped, still shocked that Thor had actually acknowledged his skills for once. That had to be the first time he had done so in a long time.
"What I am saying is that, Loki, if you truly wanted to take over Midgard, you would do so cleverly and secretly, and by the time anyone realized what you were up to, it would already be too late to stop you."
Loki shook his head. "Fool. I had to defeat the Avengers publically, in order to cement myself as ruler. A cowardly victory from the shadows would not have worked."
"You have never been one to care for that sort of thing," Thor pointed out.
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do," Loki hissed. "I've changed, Thor."
"So have I," Thor declared.
It was starting to get too hot. He would have to change back soon.
This was obviously not going to work—his brother was still foolishly clinging to sentiment, believing that their past actually meant something. He had to try another approach. Before he could, however, Thor spoke up.
"Answer me this, Loki. Did you, or did you not, lose to us on purpose?"
"Of course not!" Loki let out a laugh, but Thor thought it sounded a little nervous. "What kind of fool would sabotage their own invasion? Are you quite sure I'm the mad one here, Thor?"
"You are not crazy, Loki," Thor insisted.
"Aren't I?" Loki replied with a grin.
Thor shook his head. "Stop attempting to change the subject! Loki, please, talk to me. Why did you attempt to invade Midgard?"
Loki didn't reply.
"Brother..."
Loki looked up to meet his brother's eyes, which were full of grief.
Fine. He could play into this.
He tugged his glamor back into place, his blue skin receding to leave the lie in its place. How he wished it was the opposite, that the blue was the lie and his Aesir skin was the truth. But there was nothing he could do to change the circumstances of his birth.
"What do you want from me, Thor?" he muttered.
"The truth," he insisted.
Loki didn't bother trying to hide his scoff, or his eye-roll. "You're asking me of all people to tell the truth? Have you forgotten who you're talking to?"
"So you admit that your previous statements were lies," Thor concluded.
Loki's eyes widened. "Wha—no, that's not—I didn't mean—you—I..."
Thor sank down on the ground to sit beside his brother. He grinned. "Where's your silver tongue now, brother?"
Loki sighed deeply. "That wasn't what I meant and you know it," he insisted.
“Whatever you say, brother,” Thor said with a smile.
And, for only a moment, it felt just like old times.
This was perfect for his new strategy.
"Brother," he murmured hesitantly. "Can I… have a hug?"
Thor’s face softened. "Of course, Loki."
Thor shuffled forward and wrapped his arms around Loki’s body. He frowned; his brother was thinner than he remembered.
Loki sighed and melted into the hug. It was merely a trick, an attempt to make Thor trust him by convincing him that he was the brother he remembered him as…
But... it felt nice.
Tears sprang to his eyes. He had missed this. He had missed Thor.
He knew what he would have to do as soon as he was able. But now the task felt even more difficult.
Loki’s shoulders started to tremble. Thor blinked as he felt a wetness on his neck.
“Loki?” he questioned. “Brother?” He started to pull back in order to push Loki away and examine him.
Loki only buried his face further into his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t look at me,” he muttered, voice raw and choked with tears.
Thor obliged with a small nod. He gripped Loki tighter with one arm, and freed the other to begin running it through his brother’s hair.
It was a tangled, greasy mess. Thor frowned; Loki had always taken care to make himself look presentable.
Then again, he had just been thrashed by the Hulk. Thor could give him a break.
As Thor ran his fingers through his hair, Loki was reminded of many centuries ago, when this kind of thing was commonplace between them. Thor’s soothing actions thus had the opposite effect and only made him cry harder. He had missed his family, his home, his life so much.
But he would never be able to return to it.
He wanted to scream, to rage, to kill the Titan who had taken everything from him. But he could not. All he could do was bide his time until the opportunity arose for escape.
The Titan’s not the one who ruined everything, you know. It was you.
Shut up.
As they both relaxed, a rare moment of peace descended on the two brothers. Until...
“What just happened?!”
Ah, right. How could I forget? We have an audience.
Loki growled, turning to face them with a heated glare. How dare those weak, pathetic, foolish, utterly incompetent mortals interrupt the one moment of happiness he had had this entire past year?!
The Avengers ignored his anger, however, in favor of staring in complete bewilderment at the pair of brothers.
Loki almost laughed. They looked so stupid staring at the two of them like that.
“What?” he sneered. Thor frowned at him.
“Brother, be nice...”
Loki huffed. “They started it.”
The five mortals were still busy trying to pick their jaws up off the floor. That had been... a lot to take in.
Loki was about to make another snide comment, but he yawned instead. He hadn’t had an actual full night’s rest in... well, an entire year, actually. It had been part of how the Black Order had controlled him, always keeping him not quite rested and not quite fed so he was never strong enough to fully replenish his magic or attempt escape. Cowards.
Plus, the battle had utterly exhausted him. He didn’t really want to fall asleep here, on the dirty ground in New York, surrounded by his enemies, but...
It was warm and comfortable in Thor’s arms. He trusted his big brother to keep him safe.
Loki allowed his eyes to drift shut with a soft sigh, and almost immediately fell into a deep slumber.