Archive of Our Own

@ARandomMetrosFan

You’re ignoring assists and shots on goal. If you actually watch the games, Scott Hunter has the strongest back hand in the league.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

Scott Hunter is ancient. His bones creak when he hits the puck. And his last five games? No goal.

@ARandomMetrosFan

His team won two of those games, asshole. It’s not about being selfish and flashy, it’s about getting the job done.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

Which team did New York lose to yesterday? I forget.

@ARandomMetrosFan

…Montreal.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

At least he didn’t take ten thousand years like Hollander redoing every single line he thought was slightly crooked.

@ARandomMetrosFan

Who is leading the league in goals again?

@PuckLife

You two argue in this comment section literally every week, get a room and make out already.

@ARandomMetrosFan

Gross. We’re just having a polite disagreement over hockey.

@PuckLife

This you? [screenshot of a compilation of @ARandomMetrosFan replies calling @SexyBostonHockeyMachine an asshole.]

@ARandomMetrosFan

Fuck off.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

ARandomMetrosFan can call me an asshole if he wishes, his hockey opinions are better than yours.

@ARandomMetrosFan

Um. Thank you?

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

Did you want to get that room? 😉

@ARandomMetrosFan

Go fuck yourself.

@TheSharpestCrayonBox

Order has been restored to the universe.

@TheIceShipWars

Uh, I high-key think they’re flirting at this point.

@ARandomMetrosFan

Wikipedia says flirting is attempting to increase intimacy and using double entendres. We are doing neither, so this is not flirting.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

🥵 I am now flirting. I have a puck I’d like to put in your net.

@ARandomMetrosFan

What?

@ARandomMetrosFan

It got over a thousand views, asshole, clearly people are interested.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

That was just each of Hayden Pike’s children viewing the video once.

@ARandomMetrosFan

…

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

You laughed. Admit you laughed.

@ARandomMetrosFan

No

@TheIceShipWars

Someone please tell me I’m not the only one shipping these two.

@TheSharpestCrayonBox

They’re literally adorable? Someone needs to make a compilation of their interactions set to music.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

I ship it.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

Feels like the refs took a nap and didn’t call Hollander tripping Rozanov.

@ARandomMetrosFan

Fuck you, that wasn’t tripping. Rozanov fell over his own stick.

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

“Rule 57: Tripping– A player shall not place the stick, knee, foot, arm, hand or elbow in such a manner that causes his opponent to trip or fall.” [video clip of match]

@ARandomMetrosFan

Don’t throw the rulebook at me, I AM the rulebook: “Accidental trips which occur simultaneously with a completed play will not be penalized.”

@SexyBostonHockeyMachine

Funny, then how did Hollander bruise his foot if not from tripping Rozanov?

@ARandomMetrosFan

Wait, how did you know that

@Throwaway81

Is not a measuring spoon contest. Good chefs can measure with eyeballs.

@SecretAnonymousUsername24

Disgusting blasphemy. Recipes are meant to be followed exactly.

@Throwaway81

Yesterday, I make myself a broccoli cheese soup, and I substitute out the broccoli for chicken.

@SecretAnonymousUsername24

THEN IT ISN’T BROCCOLI CHEESE SOUP?

@Throwaway81

I used beef stock instead of chicken. I did not measure the paprika.

@SecretAnonymousUsername24

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

@Throwaway81

I left a review on the recipe. Best broccoli cheese soup ever. Approved by SecretAnonymousUsername24

@SecretAnonymousUsername24

NO IT ISN’T

@CookeryCrockery

Would you two stop running up the comments section and just make out already?

@SecretAnonymousUsername24

Wait. Goddamnit, Lily is that you again?

@Throwaway81

Jane? Oh no. I might have a type.