Chapter Text
Beans sat in the passenger seat, his tongue out, watching the cars go by like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Ilya glanced over, a small smile pulling at his mouth as he reached out to pet him, his other hand loose on the steering wheel.
It was Christmas break, and they were finally on their way to Shane’s cottage for the first time. Just the thought of it made something in Ilya’s chest feel lighter.
Since they’d made things official two months earlier, Ilya had only seen Shane in person twice. Once in Boston three weeks after the night of his injury, and once in Montreal a few weeks later. Both times had only been a couple of hours… not enough.
It was never enough.
This time, they would have two days.
Two full days where no one was rushing out the door with flights to catch or teammates to get back to. It wasn’t long… but for them, it was.
Ilya exhaled slowly, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel and listening to Beans panting beside him. The poor little guy refused to nap in the car, too excited he was going to miss out on something.
Ilya had fostered Beans for the two weeks he was off with his shoulder injury, but somewhere along the way it had stopped feeling temporary. Bringing Beans back to the shelter hadn’t felt like an option anymore, so he decided to officially adopt him.
He had found a good place for Beans to stay in Boston for when he was on the road. It was a hotel for dogs that had a private section for the reactive dogs who didn't get along with others very well. Ilya had toured it first to make sure it was up to his standards, and was happy to find that it was clean and safe with people who knew what they were doing.
They would also send him a ton of updates and photos everyday which made it easier for him to handle being away for longer stretches. Beans seemed happy there and he loved the staff... but this would be their first Christmas together, so Ilya couldn’t bear to leave him behind.
It only took about two minutes of researching flying with a dog for him to decide that there was no chance that was going to be the way they travelled. He wasn’t putting Beans back into a crate to sit in some loud cargo-hold area all alone and scared. No way.
So, he decided to make the seven hour drive instead, it was worth it.
Shane however… had not been thrilled about it.
Ilya smiled faintly to himself at the memory.
The lecture had been long. Very detailed. Slow down in the snow, don’t rush, take breaks, don’t be stupid. Shane had already called twice to check in, like Ilya was one bad turn away from ending up in a ditch somewhere.
The last call had been two hours ago which meant Shane was probably worried again by now, likely pacing around his living room. Ilya chuckled as he pulled off into a small gas station.
He put the car in park and clipped Beans leash on, bringing him out to stretch his legs and go to the bathroom. He pulled out his phone and lifted it to snap a quick photo of himself with Beans in the background.
Lily
[Image]
Not dead
The response came immediately.
Jane
Good.
How much longer till you are here?
Lily
One hour, could make it in 45 if you let me drive my way? 😏
Jane
If you end up crashing and dying on your way here I will kill you
Lily
Can’t kill me if I’m already dead 😘
Jane
I’ll find a way.
One hour.
If you’re any earlier, I’ll kill you myself.
Ilya huffed out a quiet laugh, shaking his head.
“Very threatening,” he murmured, sliding his phone back into his pocket.
He got Beans settled back into the passenger seat then headed inside, grabbing a snickers bar and an energy drink before making his way back out. A few minutes later, he was back on the road.
As the time wore down on the GPS, Ilya's chest started to feel tight with anticipation. They texted throughout the day pretty much everyday and talked on the phone frequently, but he hadn’t seen Shane in person in weeks.
The last 10 minutes felt like an eternity.
When he finally pulled into the driveway, he spotted him immediately. Shane was already outside, standing on the doorstep, his hands tucked into his sleeves against the cold. Ilya parked, barely remembering to cut the engine before reaching for the door. Beans was also already alert, his tail thumping against the seat.
“Ready to see Shane?” Ilya asked him, popping the door open.
Beans bolted out the second he had space, sprinting straight for Shane, whining softly as he jumped up at him. Shane laughed, bending down immediately, his hands moving to scratch behind his ears.
“Hey, buddy,” he said softly.
Ilya felt his heart flutter watching it, his whole world was right there on the doorstep.
Shane looked up and their eyes met. He stood back up, arms already opening as Ilya walked towards him. Ilya pulled him in without hesitation, one hand sliding to the back of his neck as he leaned in and kissed him.
Finally.
Shane let out a small moan against his mouth, hands gripping into his jacket, pulling him closer. Ilya deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue inside and moving slowly, taking his time, like he had something to make up for.
Like two months of not enough could be fixed in one moment.
It couldn’t… but he tried anyway.
When they finally pulled apart, Shane stayed close, their faces still inches apart.
“Hi,” Shane said softly.
Ilya smiled, brushing his thumb along his jaw.
“Hi.”
Shane’s body finally relaxed the second he and Ilya embraced, like something in his chest just… unclenched.
It had been a long few weeks without him. Too long. Every time they saw each other it felt like he was catching his breath, only to lose it again a few hours later.
He pressed closer without thinking, his arms tightening around Ilya’s jacket, just desperate to feel him.
They were better now.
They’d figured things out, said the things they needed to say and put the labels on each other that Shane had always wanted.
... but it still wasn’t easy.
The distance alone was enough to make things complicated, but it wasn’t just that. They both carried things with them. Shane knew he did, and he knew Ilya did too.
Shane worried, constantly, that he wasn’t showing his love enough. That he wasn’t saying the right things or doing enough to make Ilya feel secure. It sat in the back of his mind, quiet but persistent, and some nights it kept him awake longer than he’d like to admit.
He tried to make up for it when they were together, sometimes maybe too much.
And Ilya…
Shane had noticed the way he never let him leave a room without a kiss. The way he always reached for him, always pulled him back in for one more second, like letting him walk away might mean something would break again.
Vegas still lingered between them, even if they didn’t talk about it.
Shane also noticed how sometimes Ilya would go quiet, like something heavy was on his mind, but he never wanted to talk about it. Shane never pressed too hard.
Things weren't perfect, but they were trying. That was what mattered.
“I have to go get all my bags,” Ilya said, pulling back slightly.
Shane blinked, his eyebrows pulling together. “... all? How many bags did you bring?”
Ilya just smirked, giving a small shrug as he turned and started back toward the car. Shane followed to help. The trunk popped open, and there were... so many bags.
Shane let out a laugh, shaking his head. “Ilya… you know you’re only here for two days, right?”
“I know,” Ilya said, already reaching in. “But I had to bring all of Bean’s essentials.”
He grabbed a large bag and lifted it out. It was stuffed with what looked like about 15 poorly wrapped dog toys.
“And his new Christmas gifts,” Ilya added.
Shane rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop the smile tugging at his mouth. “You’re still spoiling him, I see.”
“Not spoiling,” Ilya corrected. “Taking care of.”
Shane just shook his head, grabbing a couple of the other bags and heading toward the door. Inside, they dropped everything near the entryway.
Then, Shane didn’t even think about it. The second his hands were free, he turned back, grabbing Ilya and pulling him into another kiss.
He just... couldn’t not. He’d missed him too much.
Ilya kissed him back immediately, his hands sliding up his sides, firm and familiar. Shane leaned into it, his breath catching slightly as he felt Ilya’s grip tighten. A soft sound slipped out of him before he could stop it.
Ilya huffed out a quiet laugh against his mouth and pulled back, a small smirk forming on his mouth.
“Aren’t you going to give me a tour?” he teased.
Shane shook his head, already tugging at his sleeve. “How about we start with the bedroom?”
Ilya grinned and smacked his ass lightly as he followed him.
“Wait,” he said, stopping suddenly and glancing back to the bags. “Let me set up Beans’ bed and get him some water first, he's exhausted from the car ride.”
Shane let out a quiet sigh, stepping back as Ilya walked back over and crouched down, rummaging through the bags, pulling out the bed and a few toys.
He watched Ilya walk around the living room, trying to find the perfect spot to put the bed, like the placement mattered more than anything.
Shane had grown to love Beans more than he expected. And the way Ilya took care of him... the way he was so attentive, so soft in a way he didn’t show to anyone else... it did something to Shane’s chest every time.
It was… a lot. In a good way… mostly.
Shane couldn’t help but feel a little jealous sometimes. Beans got to see Ilya all the time yet still seemed to steal his attention. He knew it was irrational of him, but still.
He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms loosely as he waited, a small frown tugging at his lips the longer Ilya took to get everything set up.
Once he was finally satisfied, Ilya stood and walked back over.
“Oh, moya lyubov,” he said, eyes flicking over Shane’s expression. “Look at you. Not jealous of the dog, are you?” He taunted.
Shane’s frown deepened slightly. “What are you calling me?”
Ilya just grinned, taking his hand like it was nothing, like he hadn’t just said something in another language.
Shane didn’t move.
“Tell me what it means,” he said, pulling back slightly. “I told you I want to learn.”
“I am calling you by your name,” Ilya said, completely serious. “Moya lyubov.”
Shane narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms again. “You’re lying.”
Ilya laughed, stepping in again and wrapping an arm around his waist.
“Relax, Hollander,” he said, softer now. “It means my love.”
Shane stilled as his heart fluttered. That... wasn't what he was expecting.
“Oh,” he said quietly, his cheeks flushing. “Say it again?”
Ilya rolled his eyes, but there was no real annoyance there.
“Moya lyubov,” he repeated, slower this time.
Shane echoed it under his breath, watching the way Ilya’s mouth curved.
Shane smiled back... but then something clicked into place. His eyes went a little wide as the realization settled.
Ilya had used that phrase before. Not just once... more than once.
Way before they were anything close to this.
His mind snagged on a specific memory, the night after Club Stereo.
Shane had been locked out of his apartment, sitting outside with no real plan. He remembered the frustration and pain, the way everything had felt so out of control that night.
And then Ilya had shown up. He’d said something in Russian before handing him his jacket.
Shane had been annoyed at the time, assuming it was something cocky and mean. He had heard that phrase before and always thought it was just Ilya being a dick, calling him some dumb name he didn't understand.
Shane let out a huff of laughter now, shaking his head with a grin as the memory replayed with new meaning.
He had been wrong, completely wrong.
Ilya had been standing there, looking at him like that, saying something in a language he didn’t understand…
… and it had been him calling Shane 'my love.'
Shane’s grin widened as he tried to recall the first time he could remember hearing Ilya call him that. He was pretty sure it might have slipped out during one of their hotel hook-ups two years ago.
Ilya frowned, his arms still around him.
“Okay... what is so funny?”
“... gotcha,” Shane said, still smiling.
Ilya tilted his head slightly, his eyebrows raising.
“You’ve called me that before,” Shane said. “Long before we were dating.”
His grin widened.
“You’re such a secret softy.”
For a second, Ilya just stared at him. Then, very briefly, his cheeks flushed.
Shane blinked.
Oh...?
That was new.
“You’re blushing,” Shane said immediately, a little too delighted.
“I am not,” Ilya shot back quickly.
“You are,” Shane pressed, stepping back to look at him properly. “I’ve literally never seen you blush before.”
“I am not blushing,” Ilya repeated, but he was already looking away, his jaw tightening slightly. “Russians do not blush.”
Shane laughed, unable to help it.
“That’s not a thing,” he said. “You’re blushing right now.”
“Hollander, I am not...”
“You are,” Shane cut in, completely amused now. “That’s insane. Secret softy and you blush? This is... this is huge!”
Shane was practically bouncing with joy. He never got to be the one to fluster Ilya, it was always the other way around.
Ilya’s eyes narrowed as he turned back to face him.
“Careful,” he warned, his voice low.
Shane didn’t stop... if anything, that only made it worse. He just grinned wider, already backing up another step.
“What?” he teased. “You gonna deny it again, moya lyubov?” He said, using a mocking tone.
That did it.
Ilya moved to grab him. Shane let out a startled laugh, just narrowly slipping out of his grip as he turned and bolted for the stairs, laughing as he grabbed the railing, taking the steps two at a time.
He barely made it into the bedroom before Ilya caught him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.
Shane stumbled, still laughing, backing up until the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed... and then he was down.
Ilya pushed Shane onto the bed in one smooth motion, climbing over him and pinning his arms down.
“Softy, hm?” he murmured.
Shane laughed, shifting under him, pretending to struggle as Ilya tightened his grip.
He didn’t try very hard, he never did.
“The softest,” Shane taunted, grinning up at him.
Ilya didn’t answer him with words. He leaned in and kissed him, hard. It was deep and passionate as Ilya forced his tongue into his mouth. Shane’s breath caught and his head started to spin.
When Ilya finally pulled back, Shane’s heart was racing and he was already rock hard... but he wanted to keep pushing. He loved being able to get Ilya riled up like this.
“See?” he said, a little breathless with a smirk. “Total softy. You don’t even have a counter argument... all you can do is kiss me.”
The shift was instant.
Ilya’s expression darkened as his hand came up, wrapping around Shane's neck with slight pressure at the sides.
Shane’s pulse jumped under his fingers.
“Keep talking,” Ilya growled. “I want to see how long that attitude lasts.”
Shane didn’t back down, he loved where this was going. He tipped his chin up slightly, meeting his gaze.
“I’m not the one who’s going to fold here,” he said. “You love me too much, have for years. You just got caught red-handed Rozanov.”
A beat.
Shane’s grin turned sharper.
“Little obsessed, honestly.”
He held his breath, watching as Ilya's brow's pulled together, like he was contemplating what to do with him for a moment.
Then... Ilya let go.
Just like that.
The pressure disappeared from Shane’s neck as Ilya pulled back, then slid off the mattress. He smoothed out his shirt like nothing had happened, his expression shifting into something casual.
“You’re right,” Ilya said lightly.
Shane blinked, half-propped up, trying to catch up.
“What?”
Ilya glanced at him, one brow lifting.
“Since I’m such a softy,” he said, tone almost amused, “I think I’d rather go cuddle and watch a movie.”
Shane stared at him.
“…w... what?”
Ilya turned toward the door and walked out.
“Are you coming?” he added over his shoulder, leaving Shane sitting there, flushed, confused, and very much not expecting that.
Ilya knew exactly what Shane was trying to do. He smirked to himself as he stepped out of the room, already knowing how this would play out.
Shane wanted a reaction. Wanted to push and see what he would do.
Ilya could play that game... but better.
It had been weeks. He wanted Shane just as much as Shane wanted him, maybe more. But that didn’t mean he was going to give in that easily. Not when Shane had practically made it into a competition. Ilya refused to give Shane an easy win in anything, ever.
Ilya exhaled slowly through his nose as he walked down the hall, jaw tightening just slightly.
Blushing.
He almost scoffed at the thought. He didn’t blush... Shane did. That was how this worked.
Ilya said something, Shane reacted. Ilya pushed, Shane folded. That was the dynamic. It had always been the dynamic.
And then... Ilya had slipped, and Shane had seen it. Worse... he’d enjoyed it.
The way his whole face lit up, like he’d just uncovered something he wasn’t supposed to have. Like he’d won something.
Ilya’s jaw tightened further.
No.
Absolutely not.
He wasn’t letting that stand.
Not when Shane was already running with it, already pushing and acting like he had the upper hand.
Ilya rolled his shoulders, pushing past the bruise to his ego as he forced his expression back into something neutral.
If Shane wanted to play... fine.
He would remind him how this game usually ended.
He adjusted his own erection as he walked, ignoring the ache, then dropped onto the couch like nothing was wrong. Casual and unbothered like he hadn’t just been caught off guard.
... like he wasn’t about to take the control right back.
A minute later, he heard footsteps.
Shane appeared slowly, hovering just outside the living room, clearly unsure what was happening.
“Um…” Shane started, brows pulled together. “What are you doing?”
Ilya leaned forward, grabbing the remote off the table with an easy grin.
“Watching a movie, like I said," he mused. "Are you coming, or no?”
He watched the hesitation, watched how Shane tried to figure it out. Then, he walked over anyway.
Of course he did.
Ilya patted the cushion beside him, forcing himself to stay relaxed. Shane dropped down next to him, giving him a sideways, suspicious look.
Ilya didn’t acknowledge it, he just pulled him in, wrapping an arm around him and leaning back until they were both settled against the couch.
“Hmm,” Ilya murmured, turning the TV on. “What should we watch, moya lyubov?”
Shane stiffened slightly.
“We’re not… actually watching a movie... are we?”
Ilya tilted his head.
“We are boyfriends,” he said simply. “Boyfriends cuddle and watch movies, no?”
Shane looked up at him, his eyes a little wide and his cheeks flushed. It would have been so easy to give in... but instead, Ilya just smiled casually.
Shane swallowed, something shifting behind his eyes. He was still stubborn... still trying to hold his ground.
“Yeah,” Shane said after a second, lifting his chin slightly. “Whatever you want.”
Ilya watched him shrug slightly, trying to play it cool.
Competitive little brat.
He was still playing, even when it was already obvious how this was going to end.
Ilya huffed quietly to himself and started flipping through options.
“You don’t have Netflix?” he asked.
Shane shook his head against his shoulder. “No. I don’t really watch movies unless I’m flying.”
A small pause.
“Some of us read books instead of needing constant entertainment.”
It came out a little sharper than it needed to... bitchy, even.
Ilya smiled to himself. That was definitely the frustration talking. He let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head slightly.
“Of course you do,” he murmured. “You’re so boring.”
Shane huffed softly, but didn’t argue.
Ilya downloaded the app, then logged in with his information, creating a “Shane” profile.
“There,” he said with a grin.
“Welcome to the real world," he teased. "Maybe you can take a break from reading to watch your little World War documentaries sometime, hm?”
Shane just glanced at the screen. “Thanks,” he said flatly.
Ilya bit back a laugh. He knew all Shane wanted right now was to be pinned down and fucked into the mattress.
“Have you seen this one?” Ilya asked, already pressing play on the movie.
Shane barely glanced at the screen. “No.”
The title flashed up.
50 Shades of Grey.
Ilya settled back into the couch with a grin.
This is going to be fun.
Beans padded over, curling up on the floor in front of them. Ilya reached down to give him a few pats, then pulled Shane closer again.
The movie started... and Ilya waited.
His hand moved slowly along Shane’s back in light, lazy circles. Nothing obvious, just enough to tease.
He felt every reaction and every shift.
The way Shane tried to stay still, like he could outlast it.
Ilya didn’t look at him, he didn’t need to.
45 minutes later and it was the first sex scene of the movie. The girl was being blindfolded and tied to the headboard of the bed with the mans tie.
Ilya felt it immediately... the way Shane’s body tensed slightly, the subtle change in his breathing. The way his cock began to grow hard, pushing against Ilya's leg.
He glanced down briefly.
Shane’s eyes were locked on the screen now, a little too focused. His cheeks had flushed again, the colour spreading slowly up his neck.
Ilya looked back at the TV, but he wasn’t really watching anymore, he was listening.
Tracking the way Shane’s breathing went uneven. The way he shifted again, just slightly, like he couldn’t quite get comfortable.
Perfect.
A few moments later, Shane cracked. He pushed himself up, turning toward Ilya and kissing him without a word.
Ilya let him.
He kissed him back slowly and deliberately, holding back just enough to keep Shane leaning into it and chasing something more. Then... he pulled away again, a quiet chuckle slipping out.
“Pay attention,” he murmured, nodding back towards the TV. “You’re missing it.”
Shane made a frustrated sound, dropping his head back against his chest.
Ilya smirked.
Not much longer.
“Mm,” he added casually, eyes still on the screen. “She’s being very good for him. It’s pretty sexy, no?”
Shane didn’t answer... but his hands did.
They moved, hesitant at first, then more deliberate, sliding along Ilya’s side and up his chest. Ilya could feel the tremble.
Ilya caught Shane's chin with his hand, tilting his face up to look at him.
His pupils were blown wide, his lips parted slightly.
“Something wrong, moya lyubov?” Ilya asked softly.
Shane hesitated.
Ilya could see it... the way he was still trying to hold on, trying not to lose the unspoken game they were playing. Then Shane’s eyes closed as he slowly exhaled.
There it is.
“I can be good,” Shane said quietly.
“Can,” Ilya repeated. “... or will?”
Ilya tugged softly at his jaw, prompting an answer. Shane flushed deeper, opening his eyes to look at him again.
“Will,” he said. “I will.”
A pause.
“I don’t want to play anymore.”
Ilya’s brows lifted.
“Oh?” he said. “But you were very confident earlier.”
Shane swallowed.
“I fold,” he said quickly. “I give in, I surrender. Whatever you want me to say... I’ll say it.”
His voice dropped.
“Please. It’s been so long, I missed you so much.”
The corner of Ilya’s mouth curled up, slow and satisfied.
He had won.
He let the silence stretch, making Shane sit in it for a moment, then...
“Bedroom.”
Shane moved instantly. He scrambled off the couch, his movements rushed. He was already gone before Ilya even stood. Ilya took his time, shutting off the TV, leaning down to pet Beans for a few moments, then finally making his way towards the stairs.
Shane didn’t wait. He practically bolted up the stairs, his heart beating out of his chest.
He was so fucking horny.
Shane had chosen to push Ilya, being a brat on purpose to pull out that wild side of him during sex... but it hadn't gone the way he thought it would.
Shane stripped down to his boxers quickly with trembling hands and sat on the edge of the bed, his cock already throbbing with anticipation.
Of course, Ilya took his time coming up to the bedroom. Shane's thumb tapped against his thigh as he listened to Ilya's footsteps finally coming up the stairs.
Ilya appeared, leaning against the door frame with a sharp smirk on his lips. His dark eyes looked Shane up and down and then he let out a soft laugh.
"Ah, so eager now?" He mused. "I thought you weren't going to be the one to fold, hm?"
Shane felt his cheeks burn, but he didn't care. He’d fold a thousand times if it meant having Ilya’s eyes on him like this. He stood up and crossed the room, pressing his hands to Ilya’s chest and kissing him.
Ilya kissed back, one hand wrapping around Shane's waist, the other resting on his shoulder.
Shane pulled back slightly, keeping their foreheads together.
"Ya tebya lyublyu," he whispered. It was his last ditch effort to try and get what he wanted.
The reaction was instant. Shane could see the way Ilya's breathing hitched as his hand around his waist tightened. His composure was still there, but it was fraying. Shane knew Ilya was probably even hornier than he was.
Ilya pulled back, then pressed the hand resting on Shane's shoulder down. A silent, firm command. Shane didn't hesitate, dropping to his knees immediately. His fingers went straight for the buttons of Ilya’s jeans, but Ilya took a step back.
"Where do you keep your ties?" Ilya asked, his voice low.
Shane blinked up at him. "What?"
"Your ties, Shane," Ilya repeated, his dark eyes still on him. "You liked the movie, no?"
Butterflies erupted in Shane’s stomach. He had been imagining Ilya tying him up like that the whole time he was watching it.
He pointed toward the dresser. "Um... t... top left drawer."
Ilya walked over to where he had directed, sliding the drawer open and letting out a chuckle.
"You're such a freak," Ilya said, shaking his head. "As if these are organized by colour."
He snagged one of Shane's blue silk ties roughly, causing two others to tumble out onto the floor.
"Hey, don't mess that up," Shane snapped.
Ilya was back in front of him in two strides. He hooked a finger under Shane’s chin, forcing his head up. Shane glared, already imagining the work of re-sorting the drawer, but the look in Ilya's eyes silenced him.
"Moya lyubov, don't worry about the ties," Ilya said, his thumb grazing Shane’s lower lip. "You wanted to be good for me, right?"
Shane's glare died instantly. He nodded, his brain turning to static under Ilya’s touch. The frustration bled out of him, replaced the same fuzzy sense of peace he always felt when Ilya took the lead, even if he couldn't quite explain why it happened.
Ilya leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Shane’s forehead. "I'm going to tie this around your eyes now... and you will show me how good you can be."
Shane bit his lip, nodding again as he closed his eyes. He felt the silk slide over his skin, the world going dark as Ilya knotted it behind his head. The loss of sight made everything else feel so much more intense. Shane’s cock throbbed, his boxers dampening as he anticipated what was to come.
He listened to Ilya's footsteps as he circled around him a few times like a predator. Then, he heard the unmistakable sound of denim hitting the floor. Shane’s mouth parted automatically.
"Don't even need to be told," Ilya praised, his voice right above him. "Such a good boy."
Shane’s heart fluttered at the words. He felt the heat of Ilya's body moving closer, and then the slick, heavy weight of him was pressing into Shane's mouth. Shane moaned into the contact, his tongue working against the tip before he tried to push forward, eager to take as much as he could.
Ilya stayed still, a hand lightly resting the back of Shane’s head, letting him work for it. Shane sucked greedily, chasing more, but after a few moments, Ilya pulled away. Shane gasped, leaning forward, only to hear Ilya chuckle.
"Up," Ilya commanded. He helped Shane off the floor, his hands firm on Shane’s arms as he guided him blindly back toward the bed. "Boxers off, on your back."
Shane was quick to obey, kicking his boxers aside and sprawling onto the mattress. Ilya was over him in an instant, crushing their lips together in a deep kiss. Shane gasped when they pulled apart, his breath coming quick and uneven.
Then, Ilya began a slow, torturous journey down his body. He nipped at Shane’s earlobe, then trailed kisses down the side of his neck. When he reached Shane’s chest, he sucked on one nipple before catching the other between his teeth, grazing it just enough to make Shane cry out.
Ilya moved lower, his tongue swirling over Shane’s abs.
"You are so beautiful, moya lyubov," Ilya murmured against his skin.
Shane felt like he was floating. His whole world in this moment was just was Ilya... his touch, his voice, his scent. Ilya moved down to his thighs, kissing the sensitive skin of his inner leg while his fingers brushed lightly just inches from Shane’s aching cock, never quite touching it.
"You were right, you know," Ilya said, pressing another kiss to Shane’s hip. "I have loved you for years."
The confession made Shane’s breath hitch. He was borderline shaking now, the sensory deprivation turning every soft touch into an electric shock.
Ilya pressed another kiss against the inside of his thigh. "And now you are finally mine," he rasped.
Suddenly Shane could feel the heat of Ilya’s breath hovering just above his cock. Shane let out a needy whine and arched his hips off the bed, desperate to force the contact, but Ilya just chuckled.
He caught Shane’s hips and shoved him back down into the sheets. "Stay still," Ilya commanded. "You don't get what you want until I'm ready to give it to you."
Shane's head fell further back into the pillow in frustration. This was torture.
Ilya worked his way back up slowly, still peppering his body with soft kisses until he was back up at Shane's neck.
"Fuck, Ilya... please," Shane rasped, his hands coming up and digging into Ilya’s shoulders. He couldn't take the teasing anymore.
Ilya chuckled again, then Shane felt the mattress shift as Ilya got off the bed. He heard his footsteps go over to the dresser before returning. Then, Shane's hands were being gathered together and tied at the wrists.
“Okay?” Ilya asked quietly.
”Yes,” Shane responded, a little breathless.
Once his arms were secured together, Ilya pushed them up so they were above his head, then kissed him again, hard and possessive.
"I want you to remember this feeling next time you challenge me," he murmured as he pulled back.
"Because next time..."
He reached down and pinched both of Shane’s nipples sharply, causing Shane’s back to arch off the bed, a loud moan tearing from his throat.
"I won't be so nice," Ilya growled.
Suddenly, Shane was being flipped. He felt a pillow shoved under his hips, his face pressed into the mattress. Then he felt the heat of Ilya’s tongue between his cheeks. Shane gasped.
"Th... thank you. Oh, fuck," he whimpered.
Ilya was thorough, working him open with slow, teasing circles before adding a finger.
Then, the pressure vanished for a second. Shane heard Ilya get off the bed, then heard the bedside table drawer open... the one with the lube and the toys he usually kept hidden away.
"Hmm... interesting," Ilya mused.
Shane felt his cheeks flush slightly, but he didn't care.
Ilya came back to the bed and Shane heard the cap to the lube bottle snap open, then felt the pressure of two fingers being pushed inside, slowly scissoring him open. Shane could only let out soft moans, he wished Ilya would move faster.
"Those toys," Ilya said quietly, his fingers curling down and brushing against Shane's prostate. "Do they feel as good as I do?"
"...n ... no," Shane cried out, his head shaking slightly against the pillow. "Nothing is... is as good as you."
Ilya added a third finger and began pressing against his prostate in a relentless rhythm. Shane was whimpering now, writhing around on the bed, dying for more.
He wanted to be good, but the need had become a physical ache at this point. He pulled his arms towards his body, wrangling to try and break free from the tie, desperate to be able to reach around and pull Ilya in.
Ilya caught his wrists, pinning them firmly back to the mattress.
"Ah, ah, ah... you told me you would be good."
Shane let out a strained breath. "I'll do whatever you want. Please... just fuck me already... please."
Ilya let out a satisfied chuckle, then withdrew his fingers, manhandling Shane up onto his knees, his chest still flat against the mattress with his arms pushed out straight, still bound together.
Ilya looked down at the sight of Shane, how he was trembling with need, so ready to take him... so trusting to be in this position... and it made his heart flutter. He loved how exciting things always were when they were together. Ilya would often tease Shane and call him boring, but their sex life was anything but that.
He adjusted Shane’s hips, making sure he was arched just right, then reached for the lube, getting himself ready.
Ilya positioned himself between Shane's legs, the head of his cock grazing Shane’s entrance, teasing him.
"Please," Shane whispered again.
Ilya didn't make him ask again, teasing Shane had been just as torturous for him today. He gripped Shane’s hips and drove into him in one deep motion. He bottomed out, a low moan rumbling out of him from the sensation. He stayed there for a moment, letting them both adjust before he began to move.
He watched Shane’s hands, still bound together, begin to shift, his fingers clawing at the bedsheets. Shane’s breath was heavy, a few whimpers escaping him whenever Ilya hit the right spot.
"I... love you... so... fucking much," Shane moaned between Ilya's thrusts.
Ilya smiled. He had been embarrassed earlier with the exposure of his feelings, Shane figuring out how long and deep he had cared for him, how soft he had truly been all along. Being vulnerable like that was still hard for him. It still felt like he was being exposed, completely at risk of being hurt.
But here, with Shane being so utterly submissive and trusting, the fear vanished. It was the truth, he had loved Shane for years. Through all of the hook-ups, the distance, the arguments and the pain they had inflicted on each other... he had loved him through every single moment.
The depth of it terrified him. There was a constant weight in his chest that if Shane ever walked away... Ilya didn't know how he would ever move on.
He shook the thoughts out of his head, bringing himself back to the present moment.
Then he noticed something... Shane was taking the punishing pace he was giving him with a surprising amount of endurance. Usually by this point, Shane would be a trembling mess, ready to blow... but he was holding on.
Ilya’s eyes narrowed. He reached forward, fisting his hand into Shane’s hair and pulling his head back sharply, forcing his spine to arch until his back was pressed firmly against Ilya’s chest. He didn't stop the relentless rhythm of his hips, the new angle allowing him to hit even deeper.
Shane moaned and leaned his head back.
"Shane," Ilya growled into his ear. "You jerked off this morning, didn’t you?"
Shane let out a soft whimper.
"Yes... I... I wanted... to last," he admitted, his voice trembling slightly.
Ilya let go of his hair and moved his hand, closing it firmly around the front of Shane’s throat as he continued thrusting into him.
"Hm... I don’t know that I like that idea," Ilya murmured. "Maybe I have to teach you a lesson..." he panted between thrusts. "About trying to... control yourself... when you're mine."
What Ilya didn't mention, and had no intention of admitting... was that he had done the exact same thing that morning, desperate to ensure he wouldn't lose his own composure the second he pushed into Shane.
Ilya reached his other hand down, wrapping tightly around Shane’s cock, stroking him in rhythm with his thrusts.
Shane began to unravel immediately.
"Fuck, Ilya... oh my god..." Shane cried out, his body beginning to jerk. "I... I'm sorry... I... oh fuck... I'm gonna..."
Ilya tightened his grip around Shane's neck slightly.
"Go ahead, moya lyubov."
Shane let out a loud cry, his body seizing as he came hard. Ilya didn't let him rest, he released his neck, pushing him back down onto the mattress as he began to thrust into him harder, his hands gripping his hips tightly.
He usually always finished just a few moments after Shane, but he forced himself to hang on, drawing it out today.
Shane began whimpering, completely overstimulated. His legs were shaking as he wiggled around slightly beneath him.
"Oh f... f... fuck, Ilya... please..." Shane gasped.
Ilya wanted to savour the sight of Shane being so completely undone, but listening to those beautiful, desperate noises... he just couldn't hold on any longer. He stilled as he finally hit his own peak, letting out a low growl as he emptied into Shane.
He collapsed onto Shane’s back. After a moment of heavy breathing, he shifted them both, rolling them onto their sides. He pulled out slowly, a soft sigh escaping him. He reached over and untied Shane's hands, then removed the tie around his eyes. Shane immediately squeezed his eyes shut, squinting against the bright light.
"Stay," Ilya murmured.
He climbed out of bed and dimmed the lights, then went over to the bathroom, finding the washcloths and running some warm water over a few. When he returned, Shane was still blissed out, his eyes closed with a faint, dazed grin on his face.
This was the 'subspace' state Ilya had done research on, and he fucking loved seeing Shane like this, being able to be the one to bring him there.
Ilya sat on the edge of the bed and began to clean Shane up with gentle, sweeping motions. Once he was done, he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
He laid back down on the bed, pulling Shane into him and rubbing his hand lightly down his arm.
"So..." Ilya whispered.
Shane opened his eyes, his pupils still slightly dilated as he looked up at Ilya.
"Who won?" Ilya asked with a grin.
"You did," Shane answered quietly, his smile widening just a fraction.
He closed his eyes again as he leaned against Ilya's chest. "You always do."
After laying together for a while, Shane's awareness eventually came back and he groaned about the mess on the bed.
Of course he did.
Ilya huffed out a quiet laugh as Shane climbed out of bed, already moving to pull the sheets off with that focused, slightly annoyed expression he always got when something was out of place.
Shane changed the sheets while Ilya moved over to the dresser, fixing the ties he had knocked loose earlier, putting them back exactly how they’d been.
He took an extra second to straighten one that was slightly off, making sure it sat perfectly. Shane would notice, he always did.
Once the bedroom was back to its typical state, Shane insisted they shower. Ilya didn’t argue.
He followed him into the bathroom and waited as Shane set up two towels and got the water running. The shower ended up taking much longer than it needed to. They kept getting distracted, their hands lingering on each other, mouths finding each other again and again, quiet laughter breaking through when one of them tried to actually focus on washing up.
It felt easy.
By the time they finally stepped out, Ilya noticed Shane was smiling in that unguarded way he slipped into when he forgot to overthink everything. He loved how he was one of the only people who got to see this side of him.
Once they were clothed, Shane moved, brushing past him to head downstairs. Ilya caught his hand, tugging him back slightly.
“You were going to give me a tour,” he said.
Shane's eyes sparkled with excitement. “Oh... right!”
Ilya grinned, knowing how much Shane cared about this kind of thing.
He let Shane lead him around the cottage, their fingers laced together as Shane started directing him around, pointing things out as they went.
The way Shane talked about it... about building it, designing it, every small detail... there was something different in his voice. He was more confident and excited. The same kind of way he talked about hockey.
Ilya figured if hockey hadn't worked out for Shane, he'd probably end up being a real-estate agent or something.
But, he could also tell that this place meant something to him, so Ilya paid attention.
... even when Shane started talking about the well. Explaining the process, and how the water supposedly tasted better here.
Ilya nodded along, letting him ramble, letting him have it. He wanted Shane to have space like this with him, where he would be able to talk about things he cared about without being interrupted or teased... no matter how badly Ilya wanted too.
Ilya watched him, a small smile pulling at his mouth. Shane really was adorable. He loved him more than he even knew what to do with.
Then, his chest tightened... two days. That was all he had here.
Two days before he had to leave and wait another five weeks to see Shane.
He didn’t interrupt right away, he tried to let Shane finish his thought about the silly little well.
Then he stepped in, cutting him off mid-sentence anyway, pulling him into a kiss.
Shane melted into it instantly.
When they pulled apart, Shane blinked at him, a little thrown off. “What was that for?”
Ilya shrugged slightly, his thumb brushing over Shane’s jaw.
“Can I give you your Christmas gift now?” he asked.
Shane laughed. “Ilya, it’s not Christmas yet.”
“I know,” Ilya said. “But I won’t even be here for Christmas, so what does it matter?”
The words settled between them.
Shane’s expression shifted, just slightly.
Ilya clocked it.
Shane would be staying here in Ottawa, going to his parents for Christmas... without him.
He still hadn't come out to them yet.
Ilya didn’t push it.. he wouldn’t. He understood it too well, what it meant to have that conversation, to risk it... to say it out loud and not know how it would land.
He would never be able to do it with his own father, not safely.
Shane’s situation was different though... better.
From everything Shane had told him, his parents would probably be fine. Probably completely open and accepting, honestly. Ilya could see them being shocked about him, but coming around and letting him join them for holidays and random dinners.
But that still didn’t make it easy.
And Ilya could see it... Shane's own internal battle about his identity. How he carried it, quietly... like it sat just under the surface of everything else.
Like being this - being with Ilya - made him less than something he was supposed to be.
And Shane didn’t do less than. He tried to be perfect, always.
Ilya took a deep breath to settle himself. He wasn’t going to push him, not about this. Not when he could see how much it weighed on him. He just wasn't ready yet.
Shane exhaled, then shook his head lightly.
“Okay,” he finally said. “We can do presents.”
Ilya smiled immediately.
“Good,” he murmured, grabbing his hand and tugging him back toward the living area.
He let go of Shane’s hand just long enough to move over to his bags, digging through them until he found what he was looking for.
Shane watched as Ilya disappeared for a second, then came back into the room with two small gift boxes in his hands. They were wrapped… poorly, to be generous, the paper uneven and taped in random places... but Ilya was smiling wide, clearly proud of himself as he walked back over.
Shane huffed out a quiet laugh. “Wow. Beans gets, what, ten gifts and I only get two? Easy to see who your favourite is.”
Ilya’s grin widened immediately. “Aha! I knew you were jealous of him.”
Shane shoved him lightly in the shoulder, shaking his head as they both dropped back onto the couch. Ilya handed him one of the boxes.
Shane hesitated for a second, fingers hovering over the paper. He always hated this part. Opening gifts in front of people made him feel weirdly on edge... like there was a right reaction he was supposed to have and he never quite knew if he was hitting it. Too little and he looked ungrateful, too much and it felt fake.
He pulled the paper off carefully anyway, revealing a box. It was a tripod setup for his phone.
“Oh… this is um…” He glanced up briefly, then back down. “Thank you. This is nice.”
Ilya laughed softly, like he’d expected that reaction. “Is so we can FaceTime easier. I was thinking we could do one every night... when we are home? This way if you’re cleaning or doing dishes... you can still have it set up and talk to me.”
Shane’s chest warmed almost instantly.
That was… actually a really sweet idea.
He looked back up, his expression softening. “Wow, I love it, Ilya. I’d love to do that.”
Ilya leaned in, kissing him briefly before pulling him into a hug.
“And,” he added, voice lower now as he nibbled lightly at Shane’s ear, “it will help with good angles in the bedroom too.”
Shane barked out a laugh, pushing him back. “Of course it’s sexual with you.”
Ilya just shrugged, a grin still tugging at his mouth as he handed over the second box.
Shane shook his head, smiling as he opened it.
Inside was a set of wristbands.
“Oh! This is…” He turned the box slightly, trying to make sense of it.
Before he could finish, Ilya reached over, taking the box from him and opening it properly. He pulled the bands out. They looked like simple sport bands, the kind people used for tracking their steps or heart rate.
Shane frowned slightly. He already had a watch for that.
Ilya grabbed his wrist, sliding one on without hesitation, then put the other on himself.
“They’re for long distance,” he said.
He pressed on his band twice.
Shane felt a soft vibration on his own wrist... two pulses, matching what Ilya had done.
He blinked, looking down, then pressed his.
Across from him, Ilya’s wrist buzzed.
Shane looked back up.
Ilya was already watching him, his expression completely different now - soft and open, something vulnerable sitting in his eyes that Shane didn’t get to see often.
“Wow, I…” Shane swallowed slightly. “I’m speechless. This is amazing, Ilya.”
Ilya’s voice softened. “When we’re apart but thinking of each other… we can press it. So is like we’re there... almost.”
Shane huffed a quiet laugh, trying to keep things light even though he was feeling a bit overcome with emotion. “I hope you’re ready to be annoyed with yours vibrating twenty-four seven then.”
Ilya laughed, pulling him in and pressing a kiss to the top of his head before murmuring, quieter now, “Never annoying. Will help fill the hole in my heart whenever you’re not around.”
Shane felt his cheeks warm instantly.
It was like that sometimes... those moments where Ilya said something so sweet... it would still catch Shane off guard in the best way. It still felt a little unbelievable some days that this was actually real... that Ilya was his.
He hated the distance. Hated that this was all they got... short, stolen stretches of time before they had to go back to being apart again.
Shane shifted, leaning in to kiss him properly this time, then pulled back just enough so their foreheads rested together.
He pressed his wristband three times.
“I love you.”
Ilya’s smile made butterflies swarm in Shane's chest. Ilya pressed his own band three times in return.
“I love you.”
Before anything else could settle, Beans launched himself onto the couch, wedging his way between them, tail thumping wildly.
Ilya laughed, pulling back to make room, his hands immediately moving to pet him. “Oh, you slept all afternoon and now you’re full of energy, are you?”
Shane opened his mouth to say something about the couch, about how Beans definitely wasn’t supposed to be up there... but the words died when he caught the look on Ilya’s face.
It wasn’t worth it.
“Maybe Beans wants to open one of his four hundred gifts?” Shane offered instead.
Ilya’s eyes lit up instantly.
“Oh, yes!”
He slipped off the couch quickly to grab them, leaving Beans behind. Shane reached over, scratching behind his ear as Beans leaned into him.
“You know you’re spoiled rotten by him, right?” Shane murmured.
Beans just stared back at him, tongue hanging out, tail still thumping against the cushion.
Shane chuckled under his breath.
A second later, Ilya came back with an armful of gifts, dropping them onto the floor in a messy pile.
“Okay, Beans,” he said, clapping his hands once. “Merry Christmas!”
Beans bolted off the couch immediately, grabbing the first present and tearing into it, shredding the paper until the toy fell free. He pranced around with it for a second before immediately going for the next one, repeating the process like he was on a mission.
Ilya doubled over laughing, hands on his knees as he watched.
Shane couldn’t help but laugh too. It was chaos, wrapping paper flying everywhere, but it was… kind of perfect.
Ten minutes later, after a decent amount of cleanup, Beans sat in the middle of a pile of new toys, switching between them every few seconds like he couldn’t decide.
Shane and Ilya ended up back on the couch, fingers laced together as they watched him.
“He’s very special, you know,” Ilya said after a moment.
Shane glanced over. “I know.”
Ilya’s gaze stayed on Beans. “You both came back to me on the same day. I don’t know if that would’ve happened without him. He’s my good luck charm.”
Shane huffed a quiet laugh. “Oh, is that so? So I owe this relationship to Beans?”
Ilya shrugged, like it was obvious. “Yes, you do. He’s been there every step of the way. So you better appreciate him.”
Shane shook his head, smiling, but he understood.
He lifted Ilya’s hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles before standing up and heading over to the cupboard. He pulled out a neatly wrapped present, then came back and crouched down.
He whistled softly. “Come here, Beans.”
Beans looked up instantly, abandoning his pile and running over, tail going wild.
“Okay, sit first.”
Beans dropped into a sit, still vibrating with excitement, his tail thumping against the floor.
Shane handed him the gift.
It lasted about two seconds before it was torn open. Beans grabbed the toy and let out a small, excited whine, holding it in his mouth and prancing around proudly.
Shane glanced up.
Ilya was frowning slightly. “He didn’t whine for any of my toys," he said, crossing his arms.
Shane snorted. “Who’s the jealous one now?”
Ilya clicked his tongue, calling Beans over. Beans trotted over happily, showing off his new toy.
Ilya grabbed it lightly, looking at it. “... a stuffed Metros hockey puck? Are you kidding me?”
Shane just shrugged. “He’s gotta know which team to cheer for.”
Ilya’s grin came back instantly. Without warning, he lunged forward, tackling Shane onto the floor.
Shane laughed as they went down, limbs tangling.
“Thank you for getting him that,” Ilya said, a little softer now. “I’m happy to know you actually like him.”
Shane didn’t hesitate. “Of course. I love you, and he’s an extension of you... so I love him too.”
He watched Ilya’s smile grow wider, then suddenly he stood, grabbing Shane's hand and hauling him up with him.
“Come on,” he said, already pulling him back toward the bedroom.
As they laid in bed after, Ilya turned his head to look at Shane.
He smiled at the sight of him, at his messy hair and his beautiful freckles... he loved him so much it almost didn’t feel containable.
Shane glanced over, catching him looking at him. “What are you staring at?”
Ilya let out a soft chuckle. “Nothing. Just admiring you.”
He watched the way Shane’s cheeks flushed instantly, his gaze dropping as he broke eye contact. Ilya felt something in his chest soften even more.
He fucking loved that. Loved that after everything, Shane still got shy with him.
Then Shane shifted, pushing himself up off the bed. He reached for a pair of sweatpants, pulling them on as he spoke.
“I still haven’t given you your gifts.”
Ilya pushed himself upright too, grabbing his own sweats and pulling them on before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Shane gestured for him to follow.
“Come here.”
Ilya walked over, stopping just inside the closet.
There was a space cleared out in one of the corners.
Shane rubbed the back of his neck slightly, shifting his weight. “I um… I made a spot for you. If you want to keep some things here… and um...”
He stepped over to the dresser, pulling open one of the drawers.
“There’s another spot here... I was thinking some of Beans’ stuff could go here.”
Ilya moved closer, glancing into the drawer. He noticed two small gift boxes tucked inside.
“And I also cleared space in the bathroom,” Shane added quickly. “And um… I made room for you at my place in Montreal too... if you want.”
Ilya felt his chest tighten again, but in a different way this time.
It wasn’t just the gesture, it was how Shane said it. Careful... a little unsure. Like he didn’t want to assume too much. It was… painfully endearing.
Ilya stepped in closer, sliding his hands around Shane’s waist and pulling him in.
“Wow,” he murmured. “I love it.”
Shane’s shoulders relaxed a bit, a small smile breaking through.
He reached into the drawer, grabbing the smaller box and handing it over.
Ilya took it, turning it over in his hands. “You will have to teach me how to wrap like this.”
Shane laughed. “Your gifts have… character.”
Ilya shook his head, smiling to himself as he peeled the paper back.
Inside was a small box. He opened it.
Two keys.
Shane shifted slightly beside him. “One for here and one for my Montreal apartment. You can come whenever you want. I... I want them to feel like second homes.”
Ilya stared down at them for a second.
Something about it hit deeper than he expected.
Some days, it still didn’t feel real... that they were actually together. That this wasn’t just temporary hook-ups anymore.
But this… this made it feel real.
He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Shane's forehead. “This is perfect. Thank you, moya lyubov.”
Shane’s smile lingered as he reached for the second box, handing it over.
Ilya opened it, his eyebrows lifting, eyes widening slightly.
“Oh.”
He glanced up at Shane, a slow grin pulling at his mouth.
It was a vibrating butt plug.
Shane’s cheeks flushed instantly, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “It’s, um… kind of a gift for me, but also for you? It’s um… remote controlled,” he said, a little quieter now. “And there’s… an app. So it also works long distance.”
Ilya glanced back down at the box, then up at him again, impressed. He couldn’t believe Shane would have gone out and bought this himself.
“And you waited until after we had sex to give this to me?”
Shane let out a soft laugh, still a little pink. “It’s for long distance. I want to wait so it’s more special.”
Ilya stepped in immediately, pulling him closer again with a low groan. “So your gift is to tease me?”
Shane huffed out a laugh, shoving at his shoulder softly. “I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”
Ilya’s grin only widened, he was very into this idea.
*****
They spent the rest of the evening relaxing, enjoying each others company. They took Beans for a walk, then Shane cooked dinner while Ilya tried to help... but mostly just got in the way. After dinner, they settled onto the couch, Beans stretched out on top of them as they flipped through Netflix.
Ilya had insisted on starting something together, something that could be their show, so after scrolling through a dozen options and arguing over half of them, they landed on 'The Bear.'
They watched a few episodes, Ilya half paying attention, half watching Shane. The way he leaned forward during certain scenes, the way his brow furrowed.
Eventually, Ilya got distracted. His hands started to wander, his mouth following.
The show was abandoned not long after.
They ended up back in the bedroom. Later that night, tangled together under the covers, Ilya pressed himself close... soaking in the simple fact that they didn’t have to rush. That they could just stay like that.
*****
The next morning, Shane’s alarm broke through the quiet.
Ilya groaned, barely cracking his eyes open. “What time is it?”
Shane reached over, shutting it off.
“8:00am.”
Ilya dragged the blanket up over his face. “Hollander,” he mumbled, voice muffled. “Is Christmas break. Why are we waking up at 8:00am?”
Shane laughed softly. “This is sleeping in for me. I’m usually up at 6:00am.”
Ilya shook his head under the blanket.
Of course he was up that early.
He sighed, then pulled the blanket back down, blinking up at Shane. He was already sitting up, looking entirely too awake.
“You’re cute,” Ilya muttered. “But we’re going to have to change this.”
Shane rolled his eyes, already swinging his legs off the bed. “Come on, get ready.”
Ilya groaned again but pushed himself up anyway, dragging himself out of bed to follow him.
The morning moved quickly after that.
Breakfast turned into teasing. Teasing turned into a competitive workout, which turned into Ilya pinning Shane to the gym floor, both of them laughing and breathless.
That turned into the shower... which turned into something else entirely.
By the time they were done, Ilya felt loose and warm... content in a way he didn’t get to feel often.
Shane tossed him a towel, then went to walk out of the bathroom. Ilya grabbed his arm to stop him, giving him a soft kiss first.
Shane smiled at him, then disappeared.
Ilya dried off and got changed, heading downstairs to find Shane in the living room holding out an xbox controller.
“Ready to lose?”
Ilya huffed out a laugh, grabbing it. “Another thing I can beat you at? Perfect.”
Shane smirked, cueing up the game.
They had just started to play when Shane's phone rang.
Ilya’s gaze flicked down to the table where it sat.
Hayden Pike's name flashed across the screen.
The name alone was enough to make something in his chest tighten. After everything that had gone down... the history between Shane and Hayden... it made Ilya feel a bit uneasy about how close they still were.
He didn't trust Hayden, not one bit.
Shane hesitated for a second... like he wanted to answer, but wasn’t sure if he should.
He looked over.
“Can’t it wait?” Ilya said, a little sharper than he meant to.
Shane nodded, letting it go to voicemail, turning back to the game.
His phone buzzed again, a text message.
Shane glanced down, paused the game and picked it up, biting his lip.
Ilya could tell immediately, whatever it was, it was bothering him.
Ilya let out a dramatic sigh. “What?” he asked flatly.
Shane exhaled, already slipping into explanation. “He just… wants to FaceTime quick. To say Merry Christmas... is that okay? It won’t take long.”
Ilya scoffed. “Seriously? Can’t he just text it?”
Shane’s cheeks flushed slightly. “I know, but… the kids. They want to say thank you for the gifts I sent. It won’t be long... I promise.”
Ilya sighed. ”Of course it’s the kids”
He couldn’t say no to that. Still didn’t mean he liked it though.
“Fine,” he muttered, slumping back against the couch.
Shane gave him a quick, grateful look before making the call.
The screen lit up with Pike’s face.
Ilya stayed just out of frame, watching.
“Hey, man! Merry Christmas,” Hayden said.
“Merry Christmas, Hayd,” Shane replied easily. “How are the kids and Jackie?”
There was immediate noise in the background, small voices, all excited and overlapping.
“Dad let me see!”
“I want to talk to Uncle Shane!”
The phone shifted and suddenly a small face filled the screen.
“Merry Christmas Uncle Shane! We miss you!”
Ilya watched how Shane’s whole posture softened. “Merry Christmas buddy!”
The phone got yanked away, a different little face appearing on the screen.
“Thank you for our gifts!”
“You’re welcome!” Shane laughed. “Sorry I can’t be there this year. I hope you’re all being good so Santa comes.”
Another switch, an even younger little girl this time.
“Hi Uncle Shane! Why are you not here this year? Are you coming later?”
Ilya watched Shane’s shoulders drop slightly.
“Merry Christmas, Amber,” he said gently. “No... I’m sorry, I won’t be there today… but I’ll come by in a few days, okay? You can show me all your new gifts.”
Her lip pouted like she was threatening to cry. “But why?”
Shane hesitated. “Oh… well, um...”
Hayden stepped back in, taking the phone.
“Uncle Shane is busy, sweetie,” he said smoothly. “He has a… friend visiting.”
Ilya’s jaw tightened.
Hayden moved away from the kids, lowering his voice. “Sorry, man. Amber’s had a bit of a hard time with it today... but she’ll get over it.”
Shane just nodded.
“Anyways,” Hayden continued, “Thanks for the gifts! They loved them, they’ve been talking about it all morning.”
Ilya watched as Hayden's smile grew wider.
“Amber’s already lined everything up in the living room like you used to do with your stuff.”
Shane smiled slightly. "Awh, that's adorable."
Hayden laughed. "You're still beating me as her favourite person, tough pill for a dad to swallow I tell you."
"Hey, I just show up and spoil her. You actually have to parent." Shane laughed.
Hayden shrugged. "Yeah, that's true. You've always had that effect on people though... such a charmer, even on the kids."
Ilya watched Shane smile at the compliment. His hand balled into a fist as his jealously started to spike.
"Anyways miss you," Hayden continued. "I hope you’re having a good break!”
“I miss you too, man,” Shane said. “We should get together before we go back... maybe Boxing Day?”
Ilya watched Hayden’s face completely light up.
“Yeah, that’d be awesome, I’ll tell Jackie and we can…”
That was it.
Ilya shifted, sliding closer, pushing himself into the frame and cutting Hayden off.
“Hello, Pike.”
Hayden’s expression dropped immediately. “Oh... um… hi. Merry Christmas, Rozanov” he said flatly.
Ilya smiled wider, draping his arm around Shane’s shoulders. “Yes,” he said smoothly, “it is a very Merry Christmas this year.”
Hayden nodded, clearly uncomfortable now. “Okay... well… I’ll see you in a few days, Shane?”
“Yeah, man. See you then,” Shane responded.
“Alright... enjoy the rest of your break!”
“Oh, believe me,” Ilya cut in, leaning in to press a kiss to Shane’s cheek, “we will.”
He winked at the screen, and the call ended.
Shane immediately shoved him off.
“Ilya, what the hell?”
Ilya blinked at him, shrugging. “What?”
“Was that really necessary?”
Ilya scoffed. “Was it really necessary for him to keep talking once the kids were done?”
“Come on, Ilya,” Shane said, frustration clearly creeping in. “He’s my best friend. I’ve spent Christmas Eve at the Pike house every year for the last five years, but I didn’t this year so I could spend time with you.”
Anger flared in Ilya’s chest.
“Oh, so it’s my fault?” he shot back. “Sorry to steal you away from your precious Hayden.”
“What? No...” Shane ran a hand through his hair. “Ilya, I want to spend time with you. I’m just saying I chose to be with you over them. I thought that would make you happy.”
But it didn’t... because Shane saw Hayden every day. And Ilya got… this.
Small windows and short visits that were never enough.
Ilya pushed himself off the couch, his anger bubbling over. “Oh, sorry,” he snapped, “I didn’t realize it was such a hard choice to give up seeing Hayden - who you get to see every fucking day - over seeing your boyfriend you barely get time with.”
Shane blinked at him, completely thrown.
He had no idea what he’d said to make Ilya that angry. He had thought he was reassuring him.
“What?” he said quickly. “Ilya, no… that’s not what I’m saying... I...” He stopped himself and exhaled, taking a second to collect his thoughts.
“It wasn’t a hard choice. I’m sorry, I… I don’t know what I said... but I don’t think it’s coming out right.”
Ilya had already moved away, walking over to where Beans was curled up on his bed. He dropped down beside him, running his hands through his fur, his chest rising and falling quickly.
Shane hesitated for a second, then followed.
He crouched down beside him, resting a hand gently on his shoulder. “Ilya,” he said softly, “I love you. There’s nowhere else I would rather be right now than with you.”
Ilya looked up at him, still frowning.
“Yeah, well... it’s clearly upsetting... and I ruined that poor little girl’s Christmas,” he said.
Shane let out a small huff of a laugh. “Amber? She’ll get over it. I mean… yeah, I do feel bad,” he admitted, “but… my Christmas would be ruined if I wasn’t with you, so.”
He watched Ilya’s expression shift, just slightly, some of the tension easing out of his face.
Shane rubbed at the back of his neck, glancing down for a second before looking back at him. “Maybe next year we could… go over there together?”
Ilya let out a sharp laugh. “Me? At Hayden Pike’s house? No way.”
Shane sighed quietly. He shifted his weight, his voice a little more careful now. “You are important to me. He’s important to me. He and Jackie are the only people in the whole world who know about us, you know. It... would be nice to be able to be open somewhere."
Ilya just shook his head slightly. “Not a good idea. I don't see it ending with anything but fists."
Shane sighed. In the two games Boston and Montreal had played against each other since everything went down, Hayden and Ilya had both played a little extra hard and chippy against each other, the hatred clearly still there.
"You say that now,” Shane tried. “But if you just gave him a chan..."
Ilya cut him off. "I’d rather not spend any more of our short time together talking about Hayden Pike... if that’s okay.”
Shane stopped and just nodded.
“Okay.”
Ilya pushed himself back up, heading toward the couch again. Shane followed a second later, a small feeling of sadness sitting in his chest.
He really did wish they would eventually be able to get along.
*****
The rest of the day went well. It was easy and comfortable again, like the argument hadn’t happened at all. They played video games, took Beans out, made dinner and had sex twice before it was time for bed.
The next morning came too quickly, and it was time for Ilya and Beans to head back to Boston.
Shane helped him load up the car, passing bags over, double checking everything like he always did. Ilya had left a few things behind, some clothes and toiletries, a couple of items in the bathroom, just like Shane had suggested.
A few of Beans’ new toys stayed too, but not the Metros one. Beans had taken a real liking to that one, carrying it around everywhere, which had, hilariously, slightly irritated Ilya.
The car was all packed and there was nothing left to do.
Shane crouched down first, giving Beans a few goodbye pets, scratching behind his ears as he leaned into him.
“Take care of him, okay?” he murmured, smiling a little as Beans just looked up at him, tail wagging.
Then he stood and pulled Ilya in, wrapping his arms around him tightly.
This part always sucked, and this time it was worse.
Five weeks.
The longest they’d been apart yet.
He held on a little longer than usual before they pulled back, only to lean right back in, kissing slow and lingering, like they were trying to make it last.
Shane exhaled against his lips, already starting. “Text me when you get there, and don’t...”
“I know, I know,” Ilya cut in, smiling faintly. “I’ll go slow, don’t worry. Give me your phone.”
Shane pulled it out of his pocket and handed it over.
He watched as Ilya unlocked it, then pulled out his own, tapping through a few things quickly. Shane frowned slightly, trying to follow, but before he could ask, Ilya handed it back.
Ilya had shared their locations with each other.
“There,” he said. “Now you’ll always know where I am. If I end up in a ditch, you’ll be the first to know.”
Shane rolled his eyes, nudging his arm. “Not funny.”
Ilya just smirked a little.
They kissed once more before it was really time for Ilya to go.
“Merry Christmas, moya lyubov,” Ilya said quietly when they pulled back apart.
"Merry Christmas,” Shane responded.
He watched Ilya climb into the car, Beans already settled in the passenger seat.
Shane stood on the porch as the engine started, watching as they pulled out of the driveway, the car getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared completely.
The quiet hit almost immediately.
He stayed there for a second longer before heading back inside, closing the door behind him and letting out a slow breath.
The cottage felt too empty already.
Then, he felt a soft buzz against his wrist... three pulses.
I love you.
Shane’s mouth lifted into a small smile.
He tapped his wrist back three times.
They were making it work.