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Gasping Hairy tumbles out of Bumbledore’s pensieve. He takes out his flask of infinite Felix Felicis and takes a big gulp. «Fuck you, old man! And fuck the dungeon bat too!»
This could have gone horrible. His bad thoughts were already taking over. But Felix Felices solves everything. Like always.
Hairy looks around himself, not really looking, then he skips over to Bumbledore's desk. He fiddles with an ornament, and there, a hidden compartment opens. In there lies … a full, never-ending bag of lemon drops. Harry grabs them and skips out of the office. A small sheet of paper falls out of the bag and sails to the floor.
‘Experiment 777, unsuccessful.’
Hairy hops down the moving stairs, as if it were still a normal day at Hogwarts and not as if Death Eaters were casting curses left and right. But if you looked at him, you would think this was his everyday life. On the third floor he meets up with Hermione and Ron.
«Hey.» He grins at them and thrusts the bag of lemon drops at them. «Take this.» He sticks his hand in and takes a handful and stuffs it into his pocket. "Bye-bye," and there he goes on his way.
«Hairy wait! Where do you have it from! Did you break into Bumbledore’s office? And took these from him? What if you get expelled, Hairy?! What will you do? Die?!» While Hermione rants, Ron sticks his hand into the bag and takes out a full hand of lemon drops and puts it in his pocket. «Hermione, Hairy wouldn’t give us these for fun; let's find out what this is about.» He takes out his hand. «Ewww, Hermione, hair.» He flails his hand around. He loses his balance. «Ahhhhh» and tumbles down the stairs, taking down death. Eaters with him. A wall stops them. He raises his hand. «I’m fine.»
Hairy roams around the dark forest. Searching for Vol-de-mort.
«I have bested you. And now I am unstoppable! HahahaHahaha – How was that?» Vol-de-mort turns around to his followers.
«Wonderful, my Lord.» » «You were impeccable!» «Perfect, perfect» they clap.
From the other side of the clearing, a clapping Hairy comes out of the forest. «Nice villainous speech, but really? Practising? So embarrassing.»
Vol-de-mort cheeks turn purple out of shame: «Attack him!»
The Death Eaters start throwing curses.
Out of nowhere music starts to play, and Harry starts his dance of masterful dodging. He pulls out the lemon drops and starts to throw them around, as if they were a dance prop. The sight was something to behold. And while he danced, the lemon drops find their way into the Death Eaters' mouths and get swallowed.
At the castle Ron and Hermione caught the Death Eaters that tumbled down the stairs with Ron. «It is a good thing we were bored while hunting Horcruxes; otherwise we wouldn’t have had time to make this wonderful rope out of your hair, Hermione.»
«But what about the lemon drops. What should we do?»
Ron wants to take one out of his pocket, but halfway he drops it. Fumbling, he tries to catch it, but it lands in the Death Eater's mouth, who swallows it. Before their eyes the Death Eater turns into a baby. First it looks innocently around, but then it starts to wail, scared by its surroundings. Ron and Hermione look at each other with big eyes.
Then Ron shrugs. «That solves the problem.»
Hermione nods. «Sure, let’s hand out the lemon drops.»
Back at the clearing, the Death Eaters start to turn into babies and children of different ages, starting to cry and wail out of fear. In the end, only Hairy and Vol-de-mort are left standing. Vol-de-mort had horror in his eyes. What did this child do to his minions? The outcome is not what he expected. But they were ordinary, so he prepares his godly self to fight this disaster of a teenager. But as he tries to cast a curse, a lemon drop pops into his mouth. A bright light flashes. And then Vol-de-mort is no more. Hairy halts his dancing and walks over. On the ground, where Vol-de-mort stood, there was only some white fluid left.
«Ewwww, I hope this isn’t what I think it is.»
At the castle, students hurl lemon drops from the towers down to the courtyard. It doesn’t take long, and the courtyard is no more filled with Death Eaters but with children and babies, crying and wailing.
Hairy found his way back to the castle. He feels something dark creeping up on his thoughts. Felix Felicies is needed, but before he can take a shot, the Weasley family sees him and envelops him in a crushing group hug.
Panic rises in Hairy. «Guys, guys, let me go. Guys, people stop!»
The dark thoughts take over. The group hug gets more and more crushing, and then there is no Hairy any more. His luck ran out, and so did his life.
While the students are celebrating and Madame Pomfrey looks after the injured, Mcgonoggel returns back to her office. There she finds the mess Hairy made leaving. On the ground, she finds a note with Bumbledores handwriting.
Experiment 777, unsuccessful.
Tried to develop a poison, turning people to their most good state, and dosed these lemon drops with them (by accident). Tried it on Snape; there were no changes, so it failed. I’m going to try once more.
Mcgonoggel shakes her head.
Epilogue
On an isolated island, in the middle of the ocean, was a big, black tower. From far away it seemed menacing, but as one gets closer, one sees colour on the black tower. Right on the ground, there you could see it. A lot of colours! They make interesting images. If one gets even closer, one starts to hear laughter and voices. Not of adults. Children's voices. When one gets to the front, the entrance, above it is written:
«Chosen One’s Orphanage»
A bit farther right stood a monument:
«In remembrance of our Hero – Hairy J. Potter, the Chosen One.
The end of the second wizarding war of Vol-de-mort was brought to us by our Hero. Through him there were nearly no casualties, and even our enemies, Death Eaters, got a second chance. This second chance starts here. Let's grow, be kind and live happily in peace.
This institute was once built as a prison guarded by horrible creatures, Dementors. But as a reformation, we did our best to give the orphaned children that were left behind at the battle in Hogwarts a new and wonderful home, with the best possibilities for their care.
This reformation was not only done for the building but for the Dementors as well. Through the invention of the ‹For the greater good Pill› named after the inventor, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Bumbledore, it was possible to change the creatures. Since then they have become the perfect caretakers, educating our children of tomorrow in kindness.
-Rufus Scrimgrowl, Minister of United Kingdom »