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Ever since Ryland was a child, he felt like he did not quite fit in.
It started with small things.
He always preferred the silence of his room rather than the chaos of the outside.
When other kids played catch, he observed the nature by himself.
During the night, when other kids were sleeping, he was up looking at the sky, and committing the stars to his memory.
Growing older, not much changed.
He was still quiet. Grew a little awkward, even. Found human contact difficult. Human expectations and judgement too nerve-racking.
And, of course, the words on his forearm.
Kids usually had ones like Lily or John. Perhaps a Hi or How are you? Some even had ones like I love you and I'm glad to be laid to rest by your side.
Ryland's words were different.
He didn't know what they meant. No one did, really.
The symbols meant nothing. His parents had tried to compare them to every alphabet on the planet, even the most obscure ones, but to no result.
Eventually, Ryland accepted that he just did not have a soulmate. It wasn't like he was the first. There were plenty of people whose forearms stayed clean their whole lives.
(At least, that was what he told himself growing up. Growing older sure did put a lot of things into perspective.)
It only solidified the fact that Ryland was very much an outcast.
But he learned to make due.
He became a molecular biologist. A successful one, at that. It wasn't a profession that required much human contact, which fit Ryland just fine.
At least, he was one until he got fired for saying one word too much.
…Or a couple.
Then his life changed drastically, and he became a teacher.
He had never imagined himself in such a position. Ryland Grace, spending five days of the week among little humans?
But in the end, he found that the profession made him feel like he belonged somewhere for the very first time.
Sure, children were difficult. They asked endless questions, and they had little to no filter.
But wasn't that what made them so refreshing?
He did not have to worry about what they thought of him. If a child did not like a teacher, they made sure each member of the faculty knew about that fact the moment they thought of it.
And the questions were fun.
Why is the sky blue? No, really, Mr. Grace, why is it? Shouldn't it be black?
Mr. Grace, why is spring called spring?
Why don't humans have tails if we have the tail bone? I want a tail! Mr. Grace, how do we convince the tails to come back?
Ryland quickly came to the conclusion that he loved teaching. Sure, sometimes the kids asked insensitive questions, like why a friend of theirs did not have a mark, or why Ryland's own was so strange.
But he knew that there was no malice in those questions, unlike the same ones asked by adults.
Children were curious. It was their best quality.
And Ryland wanted to nurture that curiosity. He had seen so many teenagers lose their curiosity while growing up. He did not want that for his kids.
So, any time they asked about the Sun and Astrophage and the Petrova line, Ryland explained. Any time they asked what would happen to Earth, he answered.
He would never lie to them. He would soften the truth, yes, as even Ryland himself often tried to ignore the very real implications of the state of their world, but he would never tell them a lie.
He had thought that day would've been like every other. Sure, the kids got a little riled up. It happend when so much uncertainty was all around them.
Ryland had never imagined that that fateful day would eventually lead to finding the answer to his own all-encompassing curiosity about his soulmark.
What do you mean?
"Doctor Ryland Grace. Middle school teacher, with a doctorate in molecular biology."
"We need your help."
Becoming a major part of the project to save the Earth and their Sun had never been his plan. Being stared at by dozens of officials, scientists and engineers had never been his plan, either.
But his knowledge was useful. He was at least somewhat capable. He could lend his aid.
Ryland could help make the world liveable for his kids, and it was all he needed to accept his newfound position, even as it brought him levels of anxiety he hadn't felt since highschool.
Ryland stared at his mark, rubbing it over and over. For some reason, the act had always brought him comfort. Even as the mark's presence hurt him beyond measure (for if it wasn't there, then he could've at least acted like soulmates weren't something he was remotely interested in), Ryland loved the feeling he would get anytime he'd run his fingers along the words.
Were those even words?
He didn't know. They looked strange. Several straight lines spanning across his forearm, some bearing perpendicular ones on their surface. It sort of resembled the kanji alphabet, but also not quite since the lines had no curves at all.
And whenever he pressed along any of the lines, a most pleasant feeling spread through him, and through his mind. It felt like second nature. And for some reason, it felt melodious. Except they were just lines, and no one else had ever said that they felt the same thing, so Ryland wasn't quite sure where he kept getting that one from.
It just felt right.
His mark always brought him comfort. He had no idea who was on the other side — if there was anybody there at all — but if there was, he hoped that his own mark on them felt just as lovely.
His body tensed up, hearing the door squeak open.
"Three hours have passed."
…No meaningful connections. No family left.
…Soulmark's meaning unknown. Soulmate not found.
…Not even a pet dog.
Ryland took a deep breath, ran his fingers along the lines once more, before standing up.
"…Let's go, then."
The ship was horribly cold.
Or maybe it was just his body. Perhaps it wasn't attuned to deep space just yet.
But he was cold.
The lines on his forearm helped. He wasn't quite sure what they were, but they did.
He didn't want to be there.
He wanted to go home.
…But what was home?
He didn't mean to see them. He had only wished to honour his crewmates whom he hardly remembered.
He hadn't meant to see what was on their forearms.
But Grace did, and there was no going back.
Пусть твои сны будут спокойными, моя любовь.
亲爱的，我们会在星辰之间重逢。
They had to have seen their marks grey out right before being crammed into the ship. Their partners had to have had tears in their eyes while reciting the words with the precision of one who studied them religiously once upon a time.
Grace couldn't help breaking down into tears.
Their funeral was postponed for the next day.
Grace stared at the spaceship. He felt both awe and terror wage war in his heart. He wanted to call for the shields one more time but knew it would've been futile.
His brows furrowed as another object was hurled his way.
Much slower, that time.
"…They think I'm dumb."
Which wasn't that far off. But Grace would never admit that out loud. He had to protect what was left of his dignity.
Free floating in space had to be the most insane thing Grace had ever done. Even without full access to his memories, he was sure that nothing came even close.
While out there, he had reached towards his forearm multiple times only to remember the suit was covering his mark. Once he went back, the first thing he had done was soothe himself with it. It helped to settle him, but just a little. Most of his body and mind was still stuck on the fact that there existed a possibility his connection to the ship could've been severed by something, and Grace would've floated away, forever to drift among the stars.
Thankfully, it hadn't happened. It didn't make his nervousness subside by even a little.
Grace was rather proud of himself for successfully communicating with an alien. Sure, they did most of the work, but Grace understood! If he didn't, it would've been way harder for the both of them.
And as he stood in front of a sentient rock, who had eerily similar lines carved on one of his legs to Grace's own, a most curious feeling overcame him.
Peacefulness like none he had ever felt before.
It took Grace and Rocky quite a while to really understand each other. But once they did — somewhat — and Rocky very politely invited himself onto Grace's ship, the man felt…
He wasn't quite sure how to describe it. It was just that— Every time Grace looked at Rocky, a tingle made itself known in some part of his body; maybe his mind or heart or forearm, but it had the same calming effect as his mark.
He didn't connect the dots for a while.
And it wasn't like Grace was to blame! They had very important things to do, like learning each other's languages, culture and customs, finding out why Tau Ceti wasn't dimming, and saving the stars.
Grace hardly had the time to wonder about his soulmark and its meaning.
That was, of course, until it hit him straight in the face.
It was an ordinary day on the Hail Mary spaceship, featuring a human and an Eridian playing space cards. It had taken Grace quite a while to figure out some way they could play, but eventually he resorted to taping over the numbers just as he had done with the clock in the beginning, and explained the rules to his friend. It was just Uno, but Grace made sure to make it sound very serious and life-altering.
He just thought it would be funny.
It took a while for Rocky to get it, as well as quite a large number of cards thrown into the air, but eventually they managed to play out a round without Rocky quitting halfway through.
The game turned into a sort of tradition. Once after Grace woke up, and once before he went to sleep, the two played a few rounds.
Rocky was contemplating on his hand choices when it happened.
Grace put down his cards, staring at the ceiling with a bored expression. Rocky could take forever while picking his card. It usually worked in his favor, but Grace had never been patient enough for such calculations.
Then, he absentmindedly ran his fingers along his soulmark. He did not hear Rocky's cards fall to the ground, or the faint melodious noise he let out which did not yet have a translation in the system.
Grace just continued the motion, his eyes closing contently. In his mind, the melodious noise replayed on repeat, like always.
Except this time, it seemed rather vivid. Grace frowned, stopping his motion for a moment. When the noise stopped as well, he huffed and continued.
It began again.
Grace opened his eyes, confused. Only to be met with the sight of Rocky's body moving from left to right, almost sleepily, but with his attention focused entirely on Grace.
Another pass of his fingers along the mark, and he heard it in his mind again. His eyes widened, and he froze. At the same time, Rocky slowly came back to himself, but he looked the most docile Grace had ever seen him.
Grace's heart was already threatening to beat out of his chest.
For a couple moments, the two of them just stared at each other.
Then, Rocky spoke.
"How Grace know Rocky ♪♪♪, question?"
Grace blinked. "Uh. Describe it to me?"
Rocky was silent for a second, before letting out the softest melodies Grace had ever heard from him.
"Every Eridian has important Eridian. Not need mate. Adrian important Eridian Adrian mother."
Grace nodded slowly. That sounded like human soulmates.
"We humans also have that. We have soulmates — or important humans — that can be our mates, but don't have to be. We find them by seeing certain words on our forearms."
"Words, question?"
"Yeah. For example, when soulmates meet, their first words to each other can be their soulmarks. Or they can be their last words to each other. Some also have each other's names. There's a few other kinds of soulmarks, but these are the most common."
Rocky processed that, leaning forward with interest.
"Eridian have special song only important Eridian know. Eridian find important Eridian when mind-song sung by other Eridian. Mind-song is ♪♪♪, and important Eridian is ♪♪♪." Grace quickly added the terms into the system, labelling them as soulsong and soulmate.
With the reminder of the soulsong, Grace finally remembered what brought the whole conversation about.
His heart skipped a beat.
"Rocky," he said, his throat dry. He raised his hand to his forearm. "Is this your soulsong?"
And he ran his fingers along the mark again. Immediately, Rocky immitated the sound, already wobbling along to the tune. It perfectly resembled the melody he had been hearing in his mind, heart and mark ever since he first found out about it.
Rocky was his soulmate.
Rocky was his soulmate.
"You're my soulmate," Grace said silently, staring at the alien in utter awe.
He had given up on finding his soulmate. Especially after ending up in space, and forgetting what soulmates even were for a while.
And suddenly, Grace found out that the reason why he couldn't find his soulmate back on Earth was that he had simply been out of reach for his whole life.
The feeling of not fitting in made a whole lot more sense with that little piece of knowledge.
Rocky trilled, a higher version of the soulsong. "Grace Rocky soulmate!"
Grace let out a breath, and then he laughed, and he laughed until he cried, and his shoulders shook, and he couldn't see anything, but it didn't matter because Grace had a soulmate.
He only needed to be sent to space to find him.
Damn you, Stratt. How did she always get her way? There was no way he could regret being shoved into that spaceship now.
He found his soulmate.
"Grace, Grace leak why question?" Rocky rolled closer, practically clambering on top of Grace's lap.
Grace laughed, wiping his eyes. He looked down, and his heart felt so full he was worried it would explode.
"I'm just happy, rock. So happy." He wrapped his arms around Rocky's ball, resisting bursting into tears again. "I've wanted to find you for so, so long."
Rocky trilled yet another version of the soulsong. This time, it sounded even more comforting than the original. Who would've guessed such a short tune could portray so many meanings? Grace wanted to hear them all.
"Rocky happy too. Rocky search for Grace for century and half. Rocky give up soon."
It just made Grace squeeze the ball tighter. The tears fell again, and he couldn't be bothered to swallow them back.
"You don't have to. I'm right here." He whispered, the notion novel to his own ears. To think the search was over. To think there would never again be a night in which sleep could not come, only thoughts about all of his oddities.
And they stayed like that, Rocky trilling their song, for way over Grace's bedtime. Grace attempted to hum it as well, and was met with a whole load of amused notes. (But also Rocky's ball nestling into him like a cat.)
He could deal with a little bit of teasing if he got a nice hug afterwards.
When Grace almost died, Rocky had risked his life to save him.
Grace had stayed by Rocky's side for entirely too long to be healthy. He had things to do. Taumebas to study. Stars to save. But he could only focus on his soulmate, who was dying resting.
He hummed their soulsong every hour of the day, hoping it would help Rocky come back to the realm of the conscious.
He could only think about how he had found his soulmate mere weeks prior, and already lost him.
But when Rocky had finally woken up, and woke Grace up with their song, it felt like everything suddenly clicked into place.
Rocky was okay. His soulmate was alright.
That was all Grace asked for.
Before Operation: Going Fishing, Grace and Rocky had had a talk.
Rocky wanted to give Grace the fuel to go back home.
It would come at the price of Rocky going back to Adrian slower. Yet even more years spent apart from his mate. Grace had refused at first, partly because he didn't want that to happen, and partly because he didn't want to lose his soulmate again. (He thought it was better to die with the knowledge of his soulmate saving their stars, than to go back home while knowing his soulmate was somewhere out there, and Grace would never reach him again.)
But Rocky insisted.
He wanted to save Grace.
"Rocky fix. Soulmate Grace go home."
Lord, why did he have to repeat that one?
Grace was torn; on the one hand, he wanted to go back like nothing else. He wanted to see the beach, and the fog, and his students again.
But that would mean losing Rocky. His soulmate. Forever.
He would be the odd one out again. The one with a mark, but without a soulmate. Or, the one who's soulmate was an alien.
Eventually, Grace agreed. If only because Rocky truly wished for Grace to go home.
And who was Grace to refuse his soulmate's wishes?
"So… This is it." He announced. He did not hide his tears.
Rocky shuffled on the other side of the wall.
"Rocky Grace go home." While normally that sentence was made out of the happiest notes in Rocky's "vocabulary", this once, it sounded painfully solemn.
"Yeah, buddy. We're going home."
He crouched by the wall, placing his hand on it. Immediately, Rocky placed his claw against it.
Grace's lips trembled. "I'll miss you, rock."
"Rocky miss Grace too."
Grace placed his forehead to the wall. Rocky followed.
He took a deep breath, and hummed their soulsong one last time. Rocky joined him, and together, it sounded like a symphony.
Rocky had told Grace that there were hundreds of possible variations to soulsongs.
Grace only knew a couple.
…It wasn't enough.
When they were done, Grace pulled away and stood up. He took a few steps back, and heaved a sigh. "Well. I guess we have to say goodbye, now."
"No understand word."
Grace's throat tightened. "It means… see you later."
"But. Rocky not see Grace later."
"Yeah," Grace let out a laugh. It was closer to a sob. "I know. Silly human expressions."
Rocky moved a claw along his other one. "Eridians use this."
Grace nodded, adding that to his memory, and book about Eridian customs. He thought for a second, before he smiled.
"Then, I have a better goodbye in mind."
The goodbye motion in Eridian basically resembled his movement along his soulmark.
These two things combined created a rather beautiful, yet utterly heartbreaking effect.
Rocky stumbled so hard he nearly fell over.
"Sound. Horrible. Bad bad bad." Grace had a feeling it wasn't a dig on his abilities. Not this time, at least.
Grace nodded, his eyes glazing over again. "Yeah. It does, doesn't it?"
"See you later, Rocky."
"Rocky's ship is the leak. He's looking for a slow, painful death…"
"I cannot leave him."
"You were right. As always."
"I did it for the kids the first time."
"But this time?"
"I'm doing it for my soulmate."
With every bang on the wall, Grace's heart broke into smaller pieces. He couldn't be— There was no way. Rocky had to be alright. He had to be.
Otherwise… What was Grace supposed to do?
Would Rocky's death even show up on his arm? Would the lines disappear?
The thought sounded utterly terrifying. It made him feel nauseous. He would never be able to handle losing his mark. He would rather float in the endless vacuum of space than look at his left arm, unmarked.
Just as he was about to start banging again, he noticed some movement from the corner of his eye.
Rocky.
He was there.
"Grace, question?"
"You are here, question?!"
Rocky stuck to the wall, right alongside Grace, and for just a couple seconds, everything was alright in the world.
"Yes, yes, Rocky, I'm here." He said through tears, his heart soaring. "I'm here, Rocky."
"You save me!"
"Yes!"
Rocky started to aggressively trill their soulsong, and it sounded celebratory, hopeful, and overwhelmingly happy.
Grace hummed along to Rocky's trilling, trying his best to match the pitch. He probably did not succeed, but it was close enough.
Later, they would go into serious mode, and solve the xenonite problem.
But right then and there, the only thing the two of them wanted to do was to listen to their soulmate, and revel in the fact that both of them were alive and together again.
Grace yawned as he slowly woke up. Armando was already there with a glass of coffee. He absentmindedly reached for it, and it was only muscle memory that made it so he wouldn't spill it all over himself.
He had already been scolded by Adrian for doing it around them, once. They were one of the lead researchers for his little habitat, and made sure of his continued survival. Once Adrian had learned that humans easily got burns from even something as simple as a spilled drink, they demanded that Grace be careful, since they didn't want a dead human and a sad Rocky on their hands. Or, claws, more like.
Adrian was awesome. They actually resembled Adrian the Planet in appearance quite faithfully, so Grace felt rather proud of his idea for the planet's name. They were a biologist much like Grace, but more recently focused on Grace's survival. Since he was one of Erid's saviours, as well as Rocky's soulmate.
The Eridians had reacted quite… Understandably, upon the realization that Rocky hadn't come back home alone.
At first, they were confused where Grace had come from; then they were shocked to find out alien life existed; later, they asked him and Rocky a billion questions to make sure Grace did not have ill intentions; and finally, they questioned Rocky about stealing a human and possible interastral consequences.
Very normal concerns, if you asked Grace.
When they found out about their soulmate bond, another investigation was started. Although it was more for research that time, since it wasn't exactly everyday one could question an alien about how his planet's soulmate system worked. Alongside other things.
Once it was all over, Adrian had burst into the conference room Grace and Rocky were being held in, and demanded they be let into their custody. Argument: Adrian missed their mate and wanted him back. It was easily granted, and Grace tagged along as an add-on for the two Eridians.
He had thought that Adrian would've been at least a little weirded out by him being soulmates with their mate, but he was totally wrong.
The moment Rocky mentioned that fact during his storytime of the duo's adventures, Adrian had demanded to hear Grace's soulsong. And once they heard it, they had crashed into Rocky with all the might of a big rock.
"Amaze amaze amaze Rocky! Rocky find soulmate in stars! Amaze amaze amaze!"
Safe to say, Adrian was happy for Rocky, and incredibly excited that his soulmate was an alien. Biologist things, Grace supposed. He got them completely.
He learned that soulmates were a very large part of Eridian life. While on Earth soulmates usually ended up together, and it was uncommon — sometimes even frowned upon — to remain friends, it was the complete opposite on Erid.
Soulmates on Erid were people who an Eridian was expected to have the most intimate bond with. Be it romantic, platonic or familial. In Adrian's case, their mother and them had always been close, as they were each other's only family. They understood each other without words. Or music notes.
Meanwhile, Grace and Rocky both almost died for one another, and saved the stars together. There was no need to expand on that topic. No one in existence shared a bond like them.
Grace found it incredibly fascinating, and preferred it to the human beliefs.
He had never been one for romance, anyway.
All that combined meant that Adrian's and Grace's bond was almost as strong as Grace's and Rocky's. After all, Rocky was one's mate, and another's soulmate. The least they could bond over was their love for Rocky, but being biologists also provided many different conversation topics. To no one's surprise, especially Rocky's, the two ended up becoming best friends (beyond the family bond that bound them together, courtesy of Rocky).
Grace stretched, and took his time getting ready. He still had around twenty minutes.
He spent that time walking along the shore, enjoying the breeze, as well as the fog.
When he finally arrived for his classes, his students had already been there.
He smiled. "Let's get started, you guys."
And Grace went through the motions of a typical class, explaining relativity, asking and answering questions. They were all incredibly interesting, as it was to be expected of baby Eridians (who were all older than him by literal decades, but who was counting?).
Then, a younger student raised their claw. Upon receiving Grace's go ahead, their question burst out with a mix of eager musical notes, and jumping around in their ball.
"Teacher Grace show soulsong, question?"
Grace blinked. The older students scolded the younger with sharp whistles. The student did not back down, their body turned towards Grace with anticipation.
He couldn't help it.
He laughed.
Even light years away from home, Grace's students were still as insensitive as ever. Eridians did not ask each other to sing their soulsong if there was no relation between them. It was considered rude. Adrian had been allowed, since they were Rocky's mate, but the baby Eridian definitely shouldn't have asked that question.
It was good that Grace had become numb to questions like so, over the years. He was more than happy to answer.
"I'll play it to you guys," he whispered, like he was sharing a great secret with the kids. "But you need to promise me something, okay? Don't tell Mr. Rocky or your parents about this. Let's keep this a little secret of ours, yeah?"
The children all agreed. Even the older students lost their previous apprehension, growing just as excited as the rest.
Once they settled down, Grace pulled down his sleeve. And with a smile, he ran his fingers along his soulmark. In his mind, their song dutifully played, while the children listened to the notes Grace was not able to hear with his underdeveloped sense of hearing. When he first found out that for all those years, his body had basically been an instrument human ears could not hear, Grace felt incredibly salty. Such an important feature of his soulmark, and he couldn't even appreciate it fully? But then, Rocky brought up the fact that in his heart and mind, Grace had always been able to hear the song, and it was all that mattered, in the end.
And Grace had to agree.
Although he could not hear the song as Eridians did, his human body still managed to account for that fact, and just changed the direction of the sounds. Instead of external, for Grace, they had become internal.
As usual, the human body worked in mysterious ways. It always adapted, and Grace was immensely happy that it did.
If it hadn't, Grace would've found out about his soulsong only from Rocky's interpretations. And as much as he loved those, it felt special to be able to hear the original in his mind, forever unaltered. Always the same.
By the time Grace came back to the realm of the living, the children had all left. Surprised, Grace looked at the clock, and was shocked to find out it was ten minutes after the end of class. Before Grace could begin to panic, he heard a gentle trill.
"Grace silent until end class. Baby Eridian go home." Rocky explained, rolling over to Grace. "Why silent, question?"
Grace laughed awkwardly. "Ah, you know. Just thinking big thoughts."
"Rocky no understand sentence."
He sighed. "Yeah, no. I don't understand it either." After a moment, Grace pointed at his forearm. "Showed the kids our soulsong. I hope you don't mind?"
Rocky rolled around once or twice, before coming to a stop. "Rocky no mind. Grace tell who Grace want. Allowed. Rocky happy Grace happy about soulsong."
Grace's eyes prickled a little, and gosh, he wasn't about to cry again. What was with Rocky and saying the sweetest things without realising?
"Okay. Thanks, rock."
"Grace welcome."
"Do you want to go bother Adrian with me? I've heard they're designing hypothetical recreations of Earth's flora for the habitat."
Rocky attempted to be the voice of reason, despite the fact he was already rolling in the correct way. "Adrian do important task. Grace ungrateful."
"Me? I'm always grateful, rock."
"Grace joke stupid. Should be graceful, no grateful."
"Eh, close enough."
And they continued bickering the entire way to the other side of the habitat, where a lab had been made for scientists working on Grace's habitat.
And as Rocky collided with Adrian the moment he saw them, Grace smiled to himself.
And he thought, There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now.
If he were to turn back time and have the option of choosing whether to stay on Earth or leave…
He would choose his soulmate every single time.