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The Great Papyrus awoke in his bed at one in the morning with a gasp. Stars Above, what a dream. The dream was just himself and Mettaton, his Favorite Robot Celebrity. They had done...things. Papyrus wasn’t sure how to describe them - he had never been good with descriptions, and he had NEVER done the things he’d done in this dream. The sounds, the sights, the sensations - oh, the things he heard and saw and felt in that dream were BEYOND amazing.
He lay in a daze remembering the events of the dream, staring at the pulsating, swirling orange light show on the ceiling above him. In the swirling patterns he could see the Android’s visage, gazing at him with the same desire as he had in the dream…
He could hear the Words the Android uttered at him in his dream all over again...
“...we are Mates…”
Papyrus relaxed as he thought the Words, holding his hands over his paradoxically pounding SOUL. Those glorious, Sacred Words that sent him into a sort of ecstasy.
“HHRMMM...MATES…”
Then he snapped fully awake as the swirly orange light shifted with him. His MAGIC had been activated. There was also a tingly pressure and strange dampness in his pelvic area. He looked downward…
“SON OF A BICICLETTE …”
He sat up in the bed, wiped the half-dried streak of drool from his face, swung his legs over the side, wiggled his phalanges, and stood up. Might as well start his day - no use going back to sleep now, he was painfully awake.
He went into the bathroom across the hall with a change of clothing to take a shower. He looked in the mirror. His eyes were tired, his mandible had some dried saliva stuck to it still, his lounge pants had an orange stain, and...ugh. He had never felt like this. This feeling hurt his SOUL.
He felt...weak. Unworthy.
He knew he had no reason to feel that way - he knew it wasn’t his fault that his SOUL had chosen someone so...unattainable. It’s just what happened. He had no control over it - no Skeleton Monster had control over who their SOUL chose as their Mate.
Papyrus removed his pajama pants - he had slept shirtless that night due to the heat - and spared the bathroom mirror another glance. Before this moment, he had never once paid his body any mind. It was just that - his body. Papyrus was considerably more confident with his physique than his brother - and with good reason, as he was the more conventionally attractive of the two of them, being 6-foot-7 and athletic with a strong jawline.
As the warm water dripped across Papyrus’ bare bones, his glowing orange erection was horribly noticeable. It was uncomfortable. How was he going to get rid of THAT by 7:30…?
He changed into his day clothes. His ever-present Red Scarf was being used as a belt, tied at his right side. He never went anywhere without it, and no one but he and a select few trusted friends knew why.
He removed the humiliatingly soiled bedding, grimacing with despair at the seemingly all-too-obvious orange semen stain like it was a terrible, rage-inducingly gross pun - well, this whole situation MUST be some sort of cruel joke, because really - placed it in his blue hamper with the race car and bone stickers on it, and carried it down the stairs and into the utility room for washing, stomping all the way.
He decided to go outside into the backyard for some fresh air while they were being washed - sweat and sperm do NOT smell like a thousand rose bushes.
He sat in the swinging bench on the deck - which the entire family all helped to build - looking out toward the garden. A garden full of furze, cacti, marigolds, periwinkles, magnolias, hibiscuses, camellias, elder flowers, and pink roses - the favorite flowers of everyone in their family. There would be more added to the garden eventually. Sans has been wanting lantanas lately - supposedly so he could call them Carlos. Mettaton laughed at that for some reason - Stars, he has a beautiful laugh. He asked why it was so funny, but Sans just started humming the theme song to that telenovela he got obsessed with - something Espinado, he said he had recordings in case Papyrus or Toriel ever wanted to watch.
Papyrus reached into his pocket for his phone. He decided to call instead of text. It would hopefully get Sans’ attention quicker than a text.
The phone rang a record TWO TIMES before Sans picked it up.
“sup bro.”
“SANS I, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. SOMETHING URGENT.”
“that’s nice, pap. later.”
“NO, NO, PLEASE, DON’T HANG UP, SANS! THIS IS SERIOUS!”
There was a pause on the other end.
“how serious? life and death or burnt spaghetti?”
Papyrus paused himself, not really sure how Sans would take this.
“ON WHAT REGISTER WOULD ‘I KNOW WHO MY MATE IS’ BE?”
Sans once again paused. Papyrus could hear the low hum of Sans’ magic through the receiver. It dimmed considerably after Sans released a sigh on the other end.
“mid-high. how long since ya figured it out?”
The clock on Papyrus’ phone said it was around quarter after three.
“AROUND TWO HOURS.”
“how did you find out?”
“IN A DREAM.”
“how did you handle the immediate aftermath of said dream, from the time you woke up to now? in detail.”
Papyrus was VERY hesitant to tell Sans the details - he was hesitant to even REMEMBER them. But remember them he must. This feeling was never going to go away. Sans understood that feeling, and knowing that made it easier to consider telling him. Papyrus took a few deep breaths to calm himself down before beginning
“I WOKE UP AFTERWARD WITH AN...AN ERECTION, AND I...I’D HAD A...WET DREAM, I THINK IT’S CALLED...I-I CHANGED OUT OF MY CLOTHES AND TOOK A SHOWER...AND THEN I PUT THE CLOTHES AND BEDDING IN THE WASHING MACHINE...AND THEN I WENT TO THE BACKYARD FOR SOME FRESH AIR AND NOW HERE I AM. IN THE BACKYARD. ON THE PHONE. TALKING TO YOU.”
Sans said nothing.
“okay then. you seem to be handling it okay on your own. we’ll talk more about it when tori, frisk and i get back from switzerland.”
“OH, SWITZERLAND? I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN SWAZILAND! I HAD TO LOOK UP WHERE THE HECK THAT WAS AND I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO TAKE PICTURES OF AN ELEPHANT…” Papyrus said with slight dismay
“i’ll send you some pics of tori petting a chamois and frisk trying to ski.”
“OKAY. SEE YOU IN TWO DAYS, SANS.”
“see ya then, bro.”
And then they hung up.
Papyrus decided to go ahead and call Undyne to see if she and Alphys were ready to go on their bi-weekly jog. The fact that it was four in the morning would probably cause a problem.
♥♥♥
Two Days Later....
♥♥♥
Half past nine in the evening. Papyrus was sitting on the couch reading a mystery novel - one that one of the ladies in the PTA had offered, by someone named Tony Hillerman, called The Blessing Way.
He heard the door unlock. Sans and Toriel were home with Frisk. He recognized their Magic - Sans’ slow, calm yet immensely powerful Magic; Toriel’s warm, maternal yet also immensely powerful Magic; Frisk’s surprisingly there Magic, sturdy and consistent, wanting to reach out and be a part of his Magic, the world’s latent Magic.
“OH, HELLO BROTHER, MISS TORIEL, TINY HUMAN -” he started in his normal loud, confident tenor.
The combined hushing of Sans and Toriel while gesturing toward the sleeping Frisk in Toriel’s arms shut him up instantly.
“SORRY,” he whispered loudly.
“tori, howzabout you take the kid up to their room and head on up yourself? i needa talk to pap for a bit, kay?”
Toriel smiled warmly yet tiredly. “Alright then. Good night Sans, good night Papyrus. I’ll see you two in the morning.”
“g’night, tori.”
“GOODNIGHT, MISS TORIEL!”
And with that Toriel headed up the stairs to carry Frisk and herself to bed. The brothers moved to the den, sat on the sofa, and waited for a while to start their conversation.
By the time the first of them spoke it was nearly midnight.
“HAVE YOU TOLD HER YET?” Papyrus asked.
“have i told who what?” Sans asked, feigning ignorance with a blank smile. He was very good at feigning ignorance. That’s why people were always so shocked when he mentioned his Ph.D.s so casually.
But Papyrus can usually see right through it. He knew how insanely perceptive Sans was when it came to people - it was one of the things Papyrus admired most about Sans, actually. But the feigning ignorance thing was not just annoying, it was even hurtful sometimes. Like now for instance.
“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS I AM TALKING ABOUT, SANS. AND IT HURTS ME THAT YOU ARE AVOIDING IT. AND I KNOW IT HURTS YOU TOO. WHY, SANS?”
Sans’ eyelights dimmed - not switched off, simply dimmed. When he was serious, but not angry, he didn’t let his eyelights shut off completely. This also occurred when her was excessively tired in order to conserve Magical energy - even though he rarely expended even the smallest amount.
“papyrus. i have my reasons,” Sans said, clearly wanting this topic to end. “and this isn’t about me. who are they?”
“WHO ARE WHO SANS?”
“your mate. who are they?”
“YOU TELL ME WHY YOU HAVEN’T TOLD TORIEL ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER YET, AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO MY MATE IS.”
Wow. Papyrus was clearly Serious about this. Sans was certain he almost heard anger in his younger brother’s voice. This...this was making him uncomfortable. Papyrus didn’t really push people who didn’t want to be pushed unless he felt there was good reason. And even then he wasn’t this out of character about it.
Sans had played this little game many times with many people in many timelines. Try to say something only tangentially related to the topic - eventually the focus will shift and the previous, uncomfortable topic will be buried underneath a bunch of malarkey. You just needed Patience - which Sans had in spades.
“y’know, tori’s really good at negotiating. she’s good at phrasing things in ways that people’ll understand and so wanna get involved. she’s good with words - but then again, ya gotta be in order to make a good pun. y’know, she said the best german-english christmas pun ever during the last meeting - she said we’d all go back for christmas, a french guy - he was a jerk - said ‘Why?’ and tori, oh man tori said -”
“Sans, why must you always attempt to change the topic when it is in your best interest not to?!”
Sans was shocked. His brother was actually angry - hell, his right eye socket was glowing Orange a bit. An Angry Papyrus was difficult to acquire, but once acquired, it took a lot to get him back to a Normal Papyrus. But thankfully, at this particular moment in time, Papyrus was not at full anger capacity - Sans doubted Papyrus could even really be angry sometimes, but seeing him like this got rid of those doubts fast.
Sans knew he’d messed up then. He got a heavy, dull pain in his SOUL that he knew wouldn’t even go away when Papyrus was back to normal. Arguments Papyrus did that to him, made him feel like he’d failed as a brother, as a guardian, even making him desire...nonexistence during the aftermath one of the worst ones - thank the stars above that those days were past. The feelings of guilt and worthlessness would not go away for a long, long time.
Sans sighed shakily, closing in on himself, covering his skull with his jacket hood as he often did when he needed comfort and he felt that no one cared.
He managed to choke out his intended statement not much later. “i don’t deserve someone like her, pap. she’s classy, she’s beautiful, she’s kind and she’s funny and she’s fun to be around a-and she’s smart and she - she’s been through so much pap, and yet she got back up and kept doing what she loves despite everything, while i -”
Sans chuckled bitterly - or was it a sob? His eyelights shut off - or had they been off the whole time?
“ya know how i am. lazy, irresponsible, never serious when it counts, the kid died like, a billion times back in the underground under my watch - i mean, i don’t even know why she lets us stay here after all the shit i’ve done -”
And here he broke down. He felt worthless enough - but knowing that his SOUL-chosen Mate was the ex-Queen of All Monsters AND being hypercritical of his own flaws made him want to…
Papyrus knew that he and Sans were actually in similar situation in that regard, being in love with someone so high above them on the social spectrum. But until now he hadn’t understood just how serious this was to Sans - Papyrus was never certain of other people's’ feelings.
That’s when Papyrus realized that Sans thought that he was angry with him. And Papyrus KNEW how Sans got when he thought Papyrus was angry with him.
Papyrus held Sans, rubbing his scapula with a bit of green MAGIC in an attempt to calm him down.
“SANS...I’M NOT ANGRY AT YOU, REALLY I’M NOT.”
Sans kept sobbing.
“I’M JUST FRUSTRATED, BUT...I UNDERSTAND YOU A LITTLE BIT BETTER NOW.”
Sans kept sobbing.
“SANS…” Papyrus had to inhale pretty deeply to prepare himself. But Sans had opened up to him, and Sans doesn’t do that often, even with him. “M-METTATON IS MY...M-MATE…”
He was still not prepared to say it outright. The reality of it came crashing down once and for all - how utterly and completely hopeless his love was. How did Sans live with this? No, Sans wasn’t hopeless - clearly Toriel held a certain fondness for Sans. It was he, Papyrus, who was hopeless in this endeavor.
Papyrus hadn’t realized that he had started crying until it Sans put his arms around him in a hug. The two Skeleton Brothers simply sat in place, crying and holding and comforting each other. Times like this were rarely if ever seen by anyone, even those closest to them. There were some things about the Skeleton Brothers - nay, the Gaster Brothers - that they only felt right sharing between themselves. Sure, they bickered often - but they’re siblings. Siblings may argue, but they will always be there for each other when it counts.
By the time both brothers had stopped crying it was after midnight - 12:38, to be precise. Their skeletal faces were streaked with shimmery, half-dried, dimly glowing tears - the Orange of Papyrus’, and the Cyan of Sans’. They had calmed down enough to speak a bit.
“SANS…”
“yeah bro?”
“I...I’VE BEEN THINKING LATELY...ABOUT THINGS...LIKE...WOULD...WOULD DAD BE PROUD OF ME…?”
Sans looked incredulous.
“bro. i know for a fact that dad is nothing but proud of you. and so am i.”
Sans sighed.
“there are times when i wonder if i screwed up at some point along the way after...after the accident, but...heh...i guess i did one thing right…”
Papyrus was torn. He wanted Sans to know that what had happened to their father was in no way his fault. But he also knew that it was no use sometimes. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.
“SANS. I MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN DAD AS WELL AS YOU DID, BUT I’M SURE THAT HE WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF YOU AS WELL. AFTER ALL, YOU RAISED ME ALL ON YOUR OWN, AND I TURNED OUT COMPLETELY FINE!”
“heh. can’t argue with ya there, pap.”
They sat for a few moments in the silence of the summer night.
“in the town~ where i was born~ lived a man~ who sailed to sea~ and he told~ us of his life~ in the land~ of submarines~”
“SO WE SAILED~ UP TO THE SUN~ TILL WE FOUND~ THE SEA OF GREEN~ AND WE LIVED~ BENEATH THE WAVES~ IN OUR YELLOW~ SUBMARINE~”
“We All Live In A Yellow Submarine~ Yellow Submarine~ Yellow Submarine~ We All Live In A Yellow Submarine~ Yellow Submarine~ Yellow Submarine~”
And so the Gaster Brothers whiled away the remainder of the wee morning hours with Yellow Submarine and small talk of their Mates.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to either, a viscous, shadowy figure sat with them on that couch, watching them with pride and pain.
His boys had grown so well...