Chapter Text
Vogel Im Käfig – Hiroyuki Sawano
The inner wealth of people is
Like colourful light, shining through coloured glass
The pleasant everyday life is
Like a warm candlelight
The very wide, green earth
The rich, beautiful water
The magnificent nature still cares for its children
Hopefully we'll be able to understand it someday
We are walking to the other side of the horizon
Hopefully we'll be able to understand it someday
We are walking firmly
Every living thing dies someday
Whether we're ready to die or not
That day will surely come
Is this the angel that flew down from the dawning sky?
Is this the devil that crawled out of the crevice in the earth?
Tears, anger, pity, cruelty
Peace, chaos, faith, betrayal,
We will fight against our fate
We must not resign ourselves to our fate
With sadness and decision in our hearts
We show the will to move on
No one shall be willfully deprived of their life
Ymir Fritz has lived a short, cruel life full of pain and suffering. She knows this. And the existence she has had in the Paths since her premature death has not been much kinder.
With love and devotion she watches over her subjects, the descendants of her very own daughters Maria, Rose, and Sina.
Endlessly, day in and day out, she builds the bodies of the titan shifters, crafting both their human and their titan forms out of sand with the innocent hands of a little girl making sandcastles and the gentle heart of a mother. No burden is ever too great to bear, no task too troublesome. Not when it comes to her people, just like how it was with her husband and her daughters. She obtained her powers and survived for as long as she did for a reason, after all. She is their protector, and she will not fail them.
But even if she wants to serve them with all her heart and soul, that does not mean her mind and body do not get tired.
The Paths are beautiful with their always starry sky and bright shining lights, a place beyond time and space, a realm of endless possibility where past, present, and future are happening simultaneously. But they are also a prison. Ymir can never leave, forever shackled by her duty, a slave to her love. All she can do is watch.
And watch, she does.
Over the two thousand years of her existence, there have been many people she developed a particular interest in, for one reason or another. People whose lives she has observed more closely, whose fates she has suffered more personally than those of most others.
While all Eldians are the offspring from one of her daughter's lines, only some of them have kept the family name Fritz or can actually directly trace their lineage back to Ymir's beloved husband. Currently, there are only two such people left. The first is a man named Zeke Jaeger, who believes his very blood makes him a sinner, and that it is his responsibility to fix how the world treats Eldians through submitting to the oppression his people are subjected to once and for all. The second is a young woman across the ocean from Zeke, Historia Reiss, who attempts to find freedom for herself and live a life she can be proud of in her own way.
Ymir's heart aches for the both of them, for she is afraid neither will succeed. The only constant in this world is misery, and no one is ever truly free. All you can do is hold your loved ones close and try to alleviate their suffering.
This was the lesson another one of Ymir's charges had to learn the hard way. The young girl had been picked up from the streets by some desperate Marleyan Eldians, was given a name far too big for her and forced to play a role she had never asked for. This Ymir was cursed just as much as her namesake, punished for things done to her without her consent, and then left to wander aimlessly for decades until she found her salvation.
Ymir Fritz had taken her due time building this Ymir's human body anew, and it had allowed her to marvel at the beauty of the Paths for a while. Ymir had wanted happiness for this new Ymir, feeling almost as if it was a second chance for herself, but it was not to be. This Ymir too sacrificed herself for the greater good, and now Ymir is forever asleep in the Paths with her.
With those three in mind, it is quite obvious that Eldians are often special to the point that the extraordinary becomes the norm, and yet there is one young man who intrigues Ymir more than anyone ever has—the one currently holding the Attack as well as the Founding Titan, despite the fact that he lacks royal blood, Zeke's younger half-brother from within the walls of Paradis.
His tenacious spirit has helped him withstand every challenge life has thrown at him, the battles he has fought have just served to sharpen all his edges enough to cut and draw blood. But it has also set him up for an impossible quest.
Eren Jaeger is a wild bird in a cage, desperately trying to break down the bars and find his freedom, only to learn that his wings were clipped anyways. She pities him just as much as she is eagerly awaiting his next move.
Most of the time when she watches Eren, it is through the eyes of the woman who holds the keys to both of their fates.
Watching an Ackerman is as easy as anyone, but predicting them is much harder. Their bloodline is immune to the titan's curse, meaning they can neither be turned nor manipulated by the Founder. This has made Ymir wary of the family as a whole, but Mikasa Ackerman is special.
A lady, a soldier, an orphan, a lover – Mikasa has a profoundness to her that Ymir admires, and a deep devotion towards her beloved that Ymir identifies with. They both would do whatever it takes to protect those they hold dear, even if they end up hurting themselves in the process. Mikasa as well understands the necessity of sacrifice.
Ymir feels there is a certain kinship between the two of them, a connection, even if Mikasa is mostly unaware of it.
Mostly, because she is beginning to suspect that Mikasa's flaring headaches might be caused by her spying through Mikasa's eyes, whether simply the frequentness of the actions is at fault or if maybe the Ackerman blood tries to resist her, Ymir cannot say. At any rate, she does feel guilty over it, Ymir never wants to cause pain, but she still can't bring herself to stop.
What Eren and Mikasa share reminds Ymir all too much of herself and King Fritz; a man fit to reshape the world and a woman who loves him enough to stand by his side, a special woman who can serve and protect him. A love that defines and destroys.
They are death and despair, as well as the following promise of the dawn of rebirth. Different as day and night, but complementary as the sun and the moon. The truest meeting of an unstoppable force and an immovable object.
Ymir has been waiting for something, or someone, for two millennia, and perhaps they are finally ready. Her wait might just be over.
Right now, they are all watching, waiting just like her to see the final puzzle pieces settle in their places and start the end of this story.
Eren, Mikasa, and their allies are seated in the midst of their enemies in an assembly hall in Marley, breaths bated as a man begins to speak.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this new organization advocates for the Subjects of Ymir living as refugees around the globe!” His voice is deep and powerful, ringing through the room like church bells.
“These desperate people are not responsible for the crimes of the Eldian Empire, but rather its tragic victims. The living legacy of its efforts to corrupt all the peoples of the world with Eldian blood!” he goes on, still loud and convinced of his own words, his audience captivated.
“The taint of Eldia is all but cleansed from the earth. There's only one corner where it continues to fester: the island of Paradis, where the empire's most loyal subjects fled in the wake of Marley's victory a hundred years ago.”
The previously held hope is now visibly leaving the hearts of her people, the chance for peace talks becoming frightingly small. Only one person appears unaffected, because he held no notions of a positive outcome in the first place. At this point, hope is as foreign a concept to Eren as it is to Ymir.
“It is the island devils alone who pose a true threat to humanity!” With those closing words from the speaker, the hall erupts in cheers, the people from beyond the walls apparently elated at the prospect of spilling the blood of an enemy who has left them alone and done them no harm in a century.
Some of the present Eldians look shocked, or upset, others simply angry. Mikasa, ever alert, whips around just in time to see Eren leave the room without looking back or a single word goodbye.
Ymir knows the most likely outcome for Eren now is that he will go through with the Rumbling, his innate desire for freedom has already driven him to do it in a thousand different timelines, and it will surely win out in this one as well. But there is no telling what Mikasa will do. If she makes the right choice, then Ymir might finally get to rest, but the wrong course of action could doom them all.
Eren believes that the path ahead of him is set in stone, that he has no other choice, even if only because he willed it to be so. He is a slave to his own idea of what he thinks freedom should be. Ymir knows the truth of the Paths is that there are infinite endings, but she is yet to find one that promises both freedom and happiness. So, just like how he is most likely to do the Rumbling, she is most likely to aid and abet him, waiting for someone else to make the right decisions. Everyone is a slave to something.
Eren Jaeger, however, as of now unbeknownst to both Ymir Fritz and himself, will do his damndest to finally achieve the impossible and change the fate's design.
The only reason why Eren is able to spot it at all is because he’s already looking at his feet while walking. Regardless, it's too late.
There was a beautiful, blue butterfly sitting in the grass. Eren accidentally trampled it.
He immediately reels his foot back, but there is no saving the creature anymore. Its wings are broken, the little legs all bent out of shape. The butterfly is still twitching, but Eren knows it won't survive. And even if it did, it would never be able to fly again, so what kind of life would that be, anyways?
Therefore, Eren tells himself it is out of mercy when he steps on the butterfly again.
Twisting his feet and turning around so he can step onto the pavement below, Eren makes the mistake of looking back at the footprint he left behind where a living being was just seconds ago.
It's ironic, foreboding, but not funny. No, he can't find humor in it in the slightest. He tries not to think about too much, but it keeps creeping up on him.
He will soon use the Rumbling to flatten the earth and create a clean slate for the world, a fresh start. Freedom.
It's all been predetermined because Eren has predetermined it. He knows he acquired his memories of the future because his future self sent them to him. Eren Kruger could talk to his father about Armin and Mikasa because Eren sent memories of them to him, too. The Attack Titan has always strived for freedom because he, its last holder, has been spreading the need for it across two thousand years to all his predecessors.
In a way, even if it isn't happening yet, he has already started it all. That's how it's supposed to be.
As he walks away, Eren looks up from the Marleyan cobblestone streets to the tall buildings on one side of him and the river on the other. He watches all those people pass him by without sparing him a single glance, unaware that he will be their killer. So many lives are about to be cut short, so many lights extinguished before their time.
The hatred of the entire world will soon be upon him, or rather, the hatred of the survivors. He will be their common enemy, the devil they defeated after finally burying the two thousand year old hatchet. His friends will be the heroes of this war, Mikasa the savior of humanity. He hopes it might bring permanent peace to the new world.
Still, he will not act as if that is his main goal. Eren is not some noble martyr, come to make the ultimate sacrifice. He is a selfish man who wants his freedom, and has decided that he will accept discarding people and stepping over their corpses to obtain it.
Eren has never hesitated to take away the freedom of those who first tried taking away his. He will not hesitate now either.
As a young boy he was often bored, staring at those gigantic walls that caged him in like cattle, Eren used to imagine what the world beyond must look like. And when Armin showed him that book, spinning tales of marvelous landscapes he could hardly picture and adventures he didn't think could be had, Eren understood for the first time how well and truly restricted he was, and even to this day still is.
Because now they have seen the ocean, crossed it, even, and all that Armin described once upon a time is there in theory. The tracks of sand, fields of ice, rocks that take days to climb, and water that burns just waiting for two brave, young men to come and explore them. But what would be the point, when mankind has been living there all those years, and the same corruption and violence Eren has always known on Paradis is already awaiting him at this promised utopia to spoil it?
It is this bone-deep disappointment that ultimately pushed Eren to decide to follow the path he saw in his memories of the future.
He understands the consequences—the global ramifications of such mass destruction, the death and pain, the irreparable damage to his soul. And still, he will not hesitate to do it when the time comes, this he promised himself.
If the Rumbling is the key to freedom, then Eren will unlock that door and step through into the light of a new era.
He has decided to take this as proof that his sanity is still intact. He has not convinced himself that he is some sort of righteous avenger, or a tragic hero. He understands the utter wrongness of what he plans to do.
Sometimes, though, Eren wonders what that says of him.
When does a man become a monster? Where is the line between doing something good, something bad, or something wrong but for the right reasons? Who decides what can and can't be forgiven?
Eren won't be his own judge, he will simply do what needs to be done and not allow himself to look back. The price of freedom is high, but he was always willing to pay it.
Rounding a corner, the hotel Eren has been staying at for the past two weeks finally comes into view.
He has some time to kill before he needs to deploy himself into one of Marley's many wars, fight with and for the enemy for a short while, before cutting off his own leg and gouging out his own eye so he will be sent back with the first batch of returning veterans, and eventually end up in the same hospital where his brother and grandfather are.
So he needed a place to stay, and this cheap, rundown hotel at the outskirts of the city is just perfect. It's far from the densely populated centre, where Kiyomi Azumabito had been staying with them in the lap of luxury, meaning it was far enough to hide him for the few days it took his friends to leave the country after he walked out of the conference and away from them. And it accommodates for Eren's limited resources by being so close to the Eldian internment zone that, provided you are unlucky enough to have your window on the fourth floor or above facing in the wrong direction, you might be able to look past the walls and see those filthy descendants of devils harmlessly going about their daily lives. You obviously wouldn't want that.
This also means very few people outside of Eren are staying here. All in all, a win-win.
“Sir!”
Just as Eren is about to step over the threshold and go inside, he is approached by a boy of all but nine or ten.
“Sir, may I interest you in the newest Johanna Hayes pamphlet?”
“Um, I'm sorry, what?” Eren asks, dumbfounded both because he has no idea what that kid is talking about and because of the fact that he is talking to him in the first place.
The boy stares at him incredulously for a second. “You don't know who Johanna Hayes is?”
“No?”
“But I thought for sure you had to be Marleyan,” he says, and Eren watches the boy’s gaze go to his left arm where the armband identifying him as Eldian would be. Where it will be, once Eren lives in Liberio, in his time between fighting their war and starting one against them.
“I'm a, uh, tourist,” Eren says lamely.
“Well then you really do need one.” The boy opens the leather bag he has slung over his shoulder, and produces what seems to be a small, paper booklet of a few dozen pages from within. “She's a very famous author here.”
Eren is about to decline until he sees the bold, black print on the cover.
“CHARACTERISTICS OF THE COMMON ELDIAN”
Now, his interest is piqued after all. He starts digging around in his pockets for some spare change, but the boy interrupts him by speaking again.
“It's for free.”
He simply takes the pamphlet from the boy’s hand and bids him goodbye, uncaring whether it's always free of charge or if this kid just thinks Eren is so lost and helpless that he wouldn't make him pay for it.
Finally entering his hotel, Eren opens the pamphlet somewhere in the middle and begins reading at random.
… and nobody would ever be foolish enough to trust an Eldian, for we all know of their centuries long reign of bloodshed and terror. Yet, many people make the mistake of underestimating the common Eldian, thinking him wicked, but lazy.
This can be fatal, as the common Eldian possesses an astounding level of endurance, both mental and physical. While this is exactly what makes the Eldian so resistant to pain and useful when it comes to manual labour, it is also what makes him dangerous as an enemy; the common Eldian never forgets a slight, real or imagined, and will work tirelessly for their opponents downfall, laying low and striking just when the time is right.
The righteous man could never predict such levels of spite and malice, therefore…
Annoyed, Eren walks through the corridors and up the many stairs leading to his room, flipping open another page towards the end of the pamphlet.
… it is becoming increasingly more apparent in today's political climate that Eldians are not just a Marleyan problem. Thus, the governments of this world's civilized countries should all take the advice given by Marley's Committee of Protection and Control, and decree the coupling of a person of pure, strong breed and a dirty-blooded Eldian to be illegal, as it already is in our motherland.
To merely shun these people and force them out of society, but let them live as they wish, will never successfully quench the common Eldian's aforementioned disgusting urges. Furthermore, …
Eren is absolutely loath to learn one more thing this Hayes woman seems to believe. He crumbles the paper in his fist, and throws it carelessly over his shoulder.
These vile, hateful people, Eren despises them so much. Knowing that not everyone is innocent and a lot of them do think like this eases his conscience. At least they will get what they deserve.
Still fuming, he opens his door, kicks off his shoes, and throws himself face first on the squeaky, uncomfortable bed.
It's only around somewhen in the afternoon, not even remotely late enough to try to go to sleep, and it's not like Eren sleeps very well these days, anyways. But he has nothing to do, and lying in wait like this is hard for someone as restless as him.
Turning around, he eyes the bottle of Marleyan whiskey on his nightstand. Eren had bought it a couple of days ago, hoping it would make him sleep better, or at least help pass all this goddamn time. But his tolerance for alcohol seems to be high, and drinking just gets him in a sour mood.
That last night with his friends, that was fun, possibly the most fun he's had in years, so that's where Eren got the idea to try medicating this way.
He remembers the laughter, the warmth, the soft, golden light surrounding them, the utter chaos of the whole thing. He remembers watching his friends, and feeling so grateful that they were allowed this moment together. All of them drinking to their heart's content, but not out of bitterness, just to enjoy themselves with a bunch of strangers who had kindly shared what they had in their little refugee camp. Strangers they would never see again because Eren will soon kill them.
He should've known trying to recreate that feeling would just make him reminiscent of times he can't afford to cling to.
He doesn't want to think about that kid, Ramzi, his name was, and how he saved him despite the fact that his death is already guaranteed. He doesn't want to think about his breakdown in front of him, either. There's just no point in grieving for the living, or agonizing over events that haven't actually happened yet.
And likewise, there's no point in getting hung up over the road not taken.
When he asked Mikasa to define their relationship, he already knew what she would answer. As beautiful of a dream it was that they might run away together, he always knew it was impossible.
So maybe Eren had wanted her to say that she loves him, maybe he had wanted to kiss her, take her hand, and just go. But then what, living together for four years before his time runs out and he dies? Selfishly abandoning their friends and their home in the time of need just for that?
Would a love that is doomed to end in tragedy one way or another be worth all that?
Could they even properly love each other under those circumstances, when they would not be free?
The ugly truth is that Eren knows he loves her, and he believes she loves him, too, but he also knows they won't be together in this life.
He loves her, but freeing them all through the Rumbling is paramount.
She won't understand. He knows that his leaving must have hurt her, that she'll be heartbroken and furious when she learns what he intends to do, and that it's cruel of him to do it all anyways, but Eren firmly believes it's necessary.
He already has the plan to have a final conversation with everyone he holds dear in the Paths where he can apologize and say his goodbyes. There, he will give Mikasa those four years, as a parting gift of sorts. They will be happy, even if the happiness is fake, and she will surely draw the strength to do what needs to be done from wherever all the endless strength in her comes from, and kill him.
He will die by her blade after experiencing true freedom for a few precious moments, and she will go on to live a long, happy life.
Eren will tell her, in their cabin in the Paths, to throw away her scarf, forget about him, and be free. He is certain she will find the strength to do that, too.
And if that thought absolutely shatters his heart, then it's best if he ignores that.
Eren extends his arm, reaches for the bottle, unscrews the cap in a quick motion, and starts chugging. He barely even registers the burn of the amber liquid in his throat.
Unbidden, he recalls how Levi had lectured them the morning after their drunken escapade, just a few hours before that damned conference. Their captain had called them all irresponsible idiots, ranting for what seemed like hours about how alcohol lowers inhibitions, was therefore dangerous and not something soldiers should indulge in, especially not when undercover in enemy territory.
Darkly, he wonders what Levi would have to say to him now.
Abruptly opening his eyes, Eren can't remember when he fell asleep. All he knows is that it was definitely dark at some point, but now there's a faint light coming in through the window, the room still half covered in shadows but promising a day of sunshine.
He had dreamt about Mikasa, as he so often does.
In his dream, he had felt her gentle fingertips softly run down the bridge of his nose, over his lips, and then trace along the line of his jaw until she reached his neck. That was when she wrapped both her hands around his throat and squeezed, loving devotion in her gray eyes turning into fierce determination as she tried to kill him.
Eren feels a sudden chill run down his spine, and, needing something to distract himself with, gets up to open his window to let the fresh morning breeze in.
He must admit that the view is quite nice, no clouds in sight, the scarlet sky just a few shades too beautiful to be blood, the already bustling city below, and the vast ocean in the distance providing a sparkling underline to the whole spiel.
For that alone the hotel should've charged him double, but alas, there's the internment zone next door.
Just as Eren is about to turn back around, a solitary white bird on the horizon catches his eye. It's flying towards the open water, and he knows there's only one thing in that direction: the island of Paradis.
Eren smashes the window closed again, and draws the curtains.