Chapter Text
— I love you !
The words had come out louder than he would have liked, but strangely, Nakamura felt no embarrassment, no shame, he even realized he wasn't afraid.
The end of the year was approaching, and he had thought about this moment for days, weeks, entire months, because he had come to realize he could no longer bear it. Loving Hirose in silence, uncertainty, shame, and pain. Compared to the beginning of the year, he and Hirose had grown incredibly close, to the point where Nakamura no longer automatically looked away when he caught Hirose giving him that intense gaze, full of admiration and affection. But this closeness felt like a kind of inevitability to Nakamura. He knew it, he was aware that the more he and Hirose became friends, confidants, and protectors of one another, the more his feelings would grow, to the point of suffocating him and making this love, once so innocent, unbearable to carry. So he had decided to risk losing everything.
He had decided to ruin it all. He had decided to tell him he loved him. He had accepted that he would be rejected, and that Hirose would walk away without ever looking back. That even if they ended up in the same class next year, Hirose would never speak to him again, would forget him, and that once grown, he would marry a very beautiful woman who would give him very beautiful children. Nakamura would suffer greatly from it, but so be it. He would already be free of one thing: his secret feelings for Hirose.
— ...Huh?
Nakamura had decided to make his confession in an empty classroom, ugly, smelling faintly of sweat. He hadn't found anywhere more romantic; already stressed by his drastic decision, he had panicked when Hirose asked where they were going. So he had ended up bringing him here, because he had no idea either.
Cheeks burning, Nakamura hadn't dared lift his head, his eyes fixed on the shoes he had carefully cleaned that morning, but from the tone of Hirose's voice, he could tell he seemed... confused.
— I, uh...
A long silence followed Nakamura's hesitation. He didn't know whether to keep talking or shut up and wait, but after a moment's thought, he decided to press on. He was already done for anyway, he might as well go all the way.
— I love you, Aiki. Not... Not just as a friend.
The boy took a deep breath and raised his head, his eyes locking directly onto Hirose's, who was looking at him surprised and lost. But above all — he was blushing, eyes wide open.
— Will you be my boyfriend?
Nakamura managed to slip in a small, hesitant smile as he braced for the rejection he had so thoroughly imagined. He hadn't even dared picture the opposite scenario — because what? What would he do if Hirose said yes? He was absolutely not ready for that.
Now it was Hirose's turn to speak, but nothing came. Not a single word rushing through his mind could carry the right message. So he stared at Nakamura, mouth agape. It was only when he saw his trembling lip and the confidence of his posture beginning to falter that he truly understood what his friend had just confessed to him.
Nakamura felt his stomach drop in the face of Hirose's silence. He hadn't said a single word yet, but Nakamura wouldn't have waited this long if the answer were yes, would he? He had expected this, had prepared himself so thoroughly for it, and yet nothing could have truly prepared him for this kind of pain.
— Alright, he said, so quietly he almost thought he'd said nothing at all. I, uh... I understand.
Nakamura wanted to apologize too, but couldn't find the strength. He fell silent and gathered himself to leave without looking back, tears welling in his eyes.
— No, Nakamura, wait! I — Me too!
The words had come out louder than he would have liked, but Hirose didn't care. Fear and disbelief had left him speechless, so his body had moved on its own, for his entire being. He caught Nakamura just as he was about to walk out and turned him around to face him. Only then did he see the tears streaming down his cheeks, flushed red with disappointment and the feeling of rejection.
— Huh? Aik—
So Hirose kissed him. Openly. Passionately. Without ever looking away from Nakamura, who let out a small gasp of surprise, finding support against the closed door to keep himself from collapsing pathetically.
Hirose held his face in both hands, a touch so gentle it contrasted with his almost fierce kiss, a whole that Nakamura had been dreaming of for nearly a year.
It hadn't lasted very long, just a few seconds, and yet Nakamura had felt it like hours. When Hirose finally freed his lips, he smiled at him awkwardly, wiping the last of his tears away with his thumb.
— Forgive me, Okuto, he said in the softest voice he had ever heard. Me too. I love you too.
Nakamura could have fainted, but he stayed conscious, eyes wide open, red, a slow trickle from his nose, lips swollen, and cheeks burning. He might have thought it was a dream, if and only if Hirose hadn't leaned in to steal one more small kiss.
Oh my God.
Aiki Hirose was now his boyfriend.