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Obviously, it wasn’t a totally new, only-while-stoned kind of thought. Many, many opportunities to think that thought, give herself a full lecture about the stupidity of that thought, and file that thought away in the Do Not Open While Inebriated Fireproof Safe of Stupid Emotion Thoughts had occurred, and many shitty interactions in the intervening months had done a good job convincing her to just leave the safe door closed shut for good.
But in the aftermath of Ava's surprise thirtieth and possibly somehow indirectly instigated by Jenny Reagan of all people, Ava's having some kind of thoughts again. About friendship. About other things. About Deborah Vance.