Work Text:
[Shayden’s beards]
Pike: Hey did one of yours leave a pair of glasses at mine? Arthur says they make his head hurt so they’re not his
Shane: Fuck, yeah, that’s Elena’s
Shane: Can you post them? Those were already the spare.
Pike: Aren’t we getting together like next week?
Shane: She’s gonna be away on a camp thing with school.
Jackie: I’ll post them tomorrow Shane
Shane: Thank you jackie
Ilya: thank you jackie
Pike: Thank you love of my life, light of my darkness
Ilya: gross
Pike: You’re exactly this gross about Shane stfu
Ilya: but it is sexier when I do it
Jackie: We’re still meeting up for that lunch when we come though, right?
Shane: Why do you think we encouraged her to go on the camp? Cal will be at my parents.
Jackie: Awesome, See you then.
—
[Family 🏒]
Shane: @Yuna What was the group that you said your friend Anna was in?
Yuna: Children’s Aid Society
Shane: Thanks
Yuna: 👀 Shane Hollander you can’t just say ‘thanks’ and leave
Yuna: Shane
Yuna: Shane I am not above coming to the rink and yelling at practice
Ilya: Shane is currently stopping Cal try to eat whole bar of chocolate that he stole from Haasy
Yuna: Ilya why do you need to know my connection with the Children’s Aid Society??
Ilya: For Game Changers Camp
Ilya: Wait… did you think we were going to try and borrow another child?
Yuna: Ilya you mention that you want to pit your kids against the Pikes at hockey often enough I start thinking you’re angling for a full three line hockey squad.
Shane: no
Shane: Ilya, you need to stop referring to fostering as ‘borrowing a child’
Shane: And I do not want to move house, we don’t have enough bedrooms for a whole hocey team.
Shane: hockey*
Yuna: You’d tell me if you were thinking of having another kid, right?
Shane: The bureaucratic nightmare that was adopting Cal and Elena wasn’t enough?
Yuna: Sounds to me like bedroom constraints are your only concern here
Shane: They are not my only concern we got lucky that Cal and Elena came together so we only had to do it once
Ilya: two for one children
Yuna: Fine, but I’ll be watching.
—
[Shane Hollander-Rozanov 😍]
Ilya: Do you think she suspects?
Shane: This is the most insane thing we’ve done since we decided to try and keep our relationship secret for ten years, I’d be more worried if she didn’t suspect
Ilya: She will definitely murder us
Shane: It’s not like we can get much further through the process without involving my parents
Shane: I just kinda like that it’s just us at the moment
Ilya: And Pike
Shane: yes, and Hayden
Shane: He’s being helpful don’t fall back into bad habits
—
[Shayden’s beards]
Jane: We’re here, just waiting on Anna
Jackie: Awesome, just dropping off the kids with Yuna
Jackie: ETA, uh, thirty minutes?
Shane: See you soon!
—
6 months later
Instagram post from @Shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Our family is growing! The @IrinaFoundation is partnering this year with @CASO_SAEO to offer places in our camps available to everyone that wants to play, with a new collection of bursaries. #HockeyIsForEveryone #YouCanPlay
Instagram post from @IlyaRozanov81
At last my dream of having a whole hockey team wearing Hollander-Rozanov has come true. We’re ready to defeat the Pikes next time they play. (new prospect not pictured to maintain tactical advantage)
→ @YunaHollanderMgt Couldn’t be happier but that’s still not a whole team?
→ → @IlyaRozanov81 Shane, Thing 1, and I are the forwards. Thing 2 and Smallest Child are Defence. Anya in goal.
→ → → @HPike90 Ilya are you seriously suggesting that your dog is going to play goaltender?
→ → → @IlyaRosanov81 Still better than Montreal Goaltender
→ @JackieAnnePike Congrats to your whole family!
→ → @ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer Thank you both so much for being our references!
→ → → @IlyaRozanov81 Yes who knew that it is more hassle to borrow a child than take one for keeps
→ → → → @ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer ILYA NO
→ → → → @YunaHollanderMgt Ilya, no
→ → → → @HPike90 Dude…