Chapter Text
Still I want you, but not for your devil side
Not for your haunted life, just for you.
So tell me why I deal with your devil side,
I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you.
Who's gonna save you now, who's gonna save you?
Foxes, Devil side
What is this, if not December turned to spring?
Where are the stations where our journey did begin?
Let my story echo on a thousand years from now.
Love me, love me, love me. Stay beneath my skin.
Elena Belobrova
Prologue
2003 — Twelve Years Earlier
A cable-stayed bridge, long and fragile as a mosquito’s wing, stretched across the river channel. One end reached the city, the other an island park. The damp October night had only just begun to give way to morning. The reflections of the streetlights trembled in the black water below.
Two young women stood by the steel railing of the bridge — a blonde in a sporty jacket zipped to her chin, and a brunette in a black coat. The blonde’s name was Alex Alova. The brunette was Katerina Efremova.
Both were smoking, speaking quietly, yet in the ringing silence every word carried clearly.
Katerina was speaking.
"...Why does it even matter to you now? You never even slept with her. "I have a pretty simple rule, Alya: if you hurt me, I’ll hurt you back. I warned you."
"Rule?!" Alex exhaled a stream of smoke, flicked her cigarette over the railing, and immediately pulled another from the pack. "You only wanted her for your collection. She’s the only thing that actually matters to me. You knew that. You knew perfectly well."
"And did she know?" The brunette gave her a condescending look. "Maybe you should have told her. Then none of this would’ve happened"
"My problem is you. You, Efremova, are my fucking problem now! For fuck’s sake, why?! It was a nightclub, there were a hundred other girls there! You’re the star, aren’t you? All you have to do is beckon and anyone would follow you like the Pied Piper."
"And here we are. What a sad little ending," Katerina said with a smile.
Alex tipped her head back and stared at the steel cables vanishing upward into the dark. Katerina’s smile irritated her.
Leaning against the railing, Katerina shook her head.
"Listen, I didn’t start this. I don’t remember you caring much about my feelings when you were fucking my friends. You could’ve asked first. Katya, are you in love with this one? Or this one? Or that one over there?"
Her bangs kept falling into her eyes, and she brushed them back behind her ear again and again.
"That’s different, and you damn well know it."
"Oh my God. I don’t know — go jump off the bridge or something." Efremova made an inviting gesture toward the railing. "But if you’ve said everything you wanted to say, come on. I’ll drive you home. It’s freezing out here."
Alex kept staring upward in silence, as if seeing something there. Katerina glanced up in the same direction. The bridge cables stretched into the sky, pierced the light at the top of the pylon, then descended again like refracted rays in a physics textbook diagram. A magnificent industrial spectacle.
When no answer came, she shrugged and flicked her cigarette butt out into the darkness.
"If you really want to know, there’s nothing all that special about her. And since you didn’t have the guts to find out yourself—"
Alex burst out laughing and suddenly grabbed the back of her neck so fast Katerina didn’t even have time to pull away. Alex’s fingers twisted into her hair.
"Take your hands off me." Katerina tried to stay calm, though her heart had broken into a gallop.
"Your ego's gotten so fucking big you don't even think about the consequences anymore." Alex butted her forehead hard against Katerina’s. "You’ve gotten used to treating everyone like idiots. You ruined my life, and now you think you can just talk your way out of it?"
Katerina leaned back, trying to put some distance between them, but Alex’s grip was unexpectedly strong.
"Get the fuck off me!"
Instead, Alex leaned toward her as if she were about to kiss her — and bit down hard on her lip.
Katerina jerked away, pressing a gloved hand to her mouth.
"Fuck, Alya!"
Alex watched her with a strange satisfaction.
"You’re bleeding. Right there."
"You’re sick, you know that?"
In response, Alex flashed her a V-sign and headed toward the park.
Katerina fumbled frantically in her pocket for her car keys, but they kept slipping through the slick lining. She yanked off her glove, finally fished them out, and realized her hands were shaking from the adrenaline.
Behind her, running shoes slapped against the pavement — the first jogger of the morning.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here alone this early?... Hey, you okay? Need help?"
"Go fuck yourself!" Efremova barked. "I'm fine. Thanks!"
The jogger tapped a finger against his temple, picked up his pace, and continued across the bridge in the same direction Alex had gone. Katerina let out a breath, turned, and headed for the parking lot.
The car was quiet. She sat for a moment, watching the letter bracelet sway from the rearview mirror, a single letter hanging from each link. She reached under the seat for the first-aid kit, pulled out a wipe and antiseptic, and wiped away the dried blood. In the warmth, her lip began to throb, though it looked better than she had expected.
"Fucking bitch. Sick fucking bitch."
She slid the key into the ignition and drove away, leaving the bridge farther and farther behind.