Chapter Text
But love's a drug, can't cut it out
Though I knew, I still chose it
There were so many stars
No, it was only you who didn't know
And since we chose the path, I'll face it
And even if you blame me, I won't fake it
We were bound to break, we had to stop
♡ 2016 ♡
On the horizon, the sunset painted the sky in shades of orange, pink, and purple. Namjoon's arms wrapped around Jungkook's waist from behind, and his eyes watched the side of Jungkook's face as if it was a real work of art.
"I've never seen anything prettier," Jungkook sighed, shiny eyes fixed on the sky.
"Me neither," Namjoon replied with a smile, still looking at him.
Jungkook turned around and caught Namjoon staring. His cheeks burned and he gave Namjoon the cutest smile, making his eyes squint. "You're a sap."
"I'm just yours," Namjoon countered, brushing their noses together, placing a kiss on Jungkook's cheek.
Jungkook giggled. "Grab the camera, I want to take a picture of the sunset."
Namjoon released him to retrieve the camera from his backpack. He had given it to Jungkook for his birthday a couple of weeks prior, and Jungkook kept taking it everywhere he went.
Namjoon handed it to him and Jungkook brought it to his eye, snapping a picture of Namjoon without any warning.
"Hey! That wasn't fair," Namjoon protested, trying to cover the camera's lens.
Jungkook giggled and stepped away to be able to snap another picture of Namjoon's frowning face. "You're so cute when you pout, alpha," he teased, walking backwards with the camera still aimed at Namjoon.
Namjoon followed him, slowly at first, but when he started to quicken his pace, Jungkook turned around and ran, holding the camera tightly against his chest and laughing as the alpha followed him towards the trees and away from the river.
"Jungkook-ah," Namjoon screamed between laughs.
"Slow alpha," Jungkook mocked, a bit breathless, but still picking up his pace.
They reached the bicycle path, and it became even easier to run, but Namjoon was still struggling under the weight of the huge backpack he was carrying with all the trinkets and snacks Jungkook packed for their date.
Jungkook slowed down a little, a huge grin on his face as he turned to take a shaky picture of Namjoon running towards him.
"What is slowing you down, big boy? Is it your huge muscles?" Jungkook teased. "Or is your huge d—"
Their bodies collided and Jungkook burst out laughing, Namjoon's hand on his back the only thing stopping him from falling to the ground. They stumbled together, and Namjoon kissed Jungkook's face all over, nipping at his cheek as he giggled.
Namjoon couldn't stop himself from laughing either.
"You're a fucking menace," he said, holding Jungkook's cheek with one hand. "I love you so fucking much," Namjoon said, reaching for Jungkook's lips.
But, oddly, Jungkook's mouth was completely unresponsive against his. Opening his eyes slowly with a confused frown on his face, Namjoon found Jungkook staring back at him, wide-eyed and astonished.
That was when Namjoon realized it was the first time he had ever said that to him, despite the thousands of times he had thought it over the six months they were together. His own eyes widened, and he was about to say something—probably something stupid, like I'm sorry—when Jungkook's lips crashed against his, and Namjoon felt the sweet spurts of his caramel scent wrapping around him like a happy cloud.
"I love you," Jungkook said, breaking their kiss for a brief moment. Then, in a succession of kisses, he said it again, and again, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
They were both smiling so much against each other's lips that it was almost impossible to keep kissing, but they did it anyway, until their lips went numb from the cold, the sun having long set above them.
"I love you," Namjoon repeated, brushing their noses together.
Jungkook opened his eyes and giggled at how funny it was looking at each other from this close. Namjoon laughed too, kissing the tip of his nose and the top of his cheeks.
Then, Jungkook took a step back, raising the camera to his eyes once more and capturing the exact moment Namjoon opened a big, dimpled smile.
"I won!" Jungkook said.
No, I think I did, Namjoon thought, unable to stop smiling.
Dropping the camera to look around, Jungkook pouted. Only then he seemed to realize that the sky was completely dark, and the only lights were coming from the lampposts and the moon. "I didn't take a picture of the sunset," he whined.
Namjoon pulled Jungkook back into his arms and kissed his pout. "It's okay, baby. We can come back here anytime you want."
Jungkook seemed to ponder for a moment. "Tomorrow?"
"Yep," Namjoon nodded.
"And the day after tomorrow?"
He hummed, nodding again.
"And the one after that?" Jungkook smiled, scrunching his nose and his eyes adorably.
Namjoon chuckled. "Everyday, if you want, baby. Forever."
"Deal." Jungkook pecked his lips.
"Deal," Namjoon agreed, wondering how he got so lucky.
♡ July 2027 ♡
The sudden slam of the door woke Jimin up from his slumber. Even sleepy, he felt immediately that something wasn't right. Sniffing the air, he caught a familiar but distressed scent. Almonds and caramel. The harshness of it sent chills down his spine.
With his heart beating faster, Jimin shook Taehyung, but didn't wait for the man to be fully awake before rushing towards the door to meet the source of the burnt smell.
And there he found Jungkook, dripping from head to toe on their carpet, shivering from the cold, and failing to hide the silent sobs shaking his shoulders.
"Jungkook-ah." Jimin ran towards him, pulling the man easily into his arms. "What happened, puppy?" he asked, softly.
Jungkook didn't answer. He just buried his face in Jimin's neck, looking for comfort.
Then, Taehyung's worried smell hit the foyer a few seconds before the man joined their hug, sandwiching Jungkook between the two of them. "Shh, Kookie, it's okay," he murmured, kissing Jungkook's nape softly. "It's all going to be okay."
Jungkook shook his head, nose accidentally brushing against Jimin's scent gland and releasing even more of his soothing pheromones. Jungkook's body relaxed a little in their arms, and it became clear that he needed to calm down before he could tell them what happened.
Taehyung petted Jungkook's hair for a moment, then moved his head enough to expose his scent gland. It looked puffed and red, like Jungkook had been scratching at it. Taehyung brushed his lips against the sensitive skin, and Jungkook's scent sweetened a little, so he gave it quick, small licks to try and soothe the ache he must be feeling.
It took a while of being held and scented, but Jungkook's sobs eventually subsided, and his body finally started to relax into their arms.
Taehyung hummed, pleased, "You're safe now, pup."
"Why don't you take a shower and come into the nest with us?" Jimin asked, pulling Jungkook's head from his neck, much to the omega's chagrin. "C'mon, you can use some of Taehyungie's clothes."
The bargain worked, because soon the three of them were dry and comfortable in the nest. They let him lay in the middle, like they usually did when they invited Jungkook over. He liked being fussed over, even though he would never admit it. In no time, Jungkook's scent got closer to baseline, except for the caramel note thar stayed present, and that both Jimin and Taehyung knew the exact meaning of.
"Can you talk now, Kook?" Taehyung asked, brushing the man's bangs away from his eyes.
Jungkook nodded, but still didn't start talking right away.
"Did something upset you?" Jimin prompted.
Jungkook gave them another nod, not really looking like he was going to elaborate, so Jimin raised an eyebrow at him with a pointed look.
Defeated, Jungkook huffed, "Fine… I just had an awful day." He pouted cutely and both Jimin and Taehyung had to fight the urge to coo at him. "For starters, my first student of the day bailed on me last minute. I was so mad that I had crossed half the city for nothing, especially since my bike is getting fixed and I had to take the bus all the way there and there was no way I could go back home and still make it in time for the next class. So, I had to wait in a park, but it was just too hot, you know? I kept sweating through my clothes and it was so annoying."
Jimin reached for Jungkook's hand and squeezed it. "It sounds very upsetting, pup. It's okay that you were annoyed."
Jungkook whined softly. "I know right? And on top of that my shirt felt so prickly even though it's one of my favorites. I used to like that fabric!" He rubbed his face, getting upset again just thinking about it. "Then, when it was time to go home, rain started pouring out of nowhere and I realized I forgot to bring my umbrella even though I always carry it with me. I was already dripping when I caught the bus, and I didn't even realize it was the wrong one."
Jungkook exhaled loudly.
"Once I finally noticed it, I was closer to here than I was to home, so I just decided to get down at the closest stop and walk the rest of seven damn blocks."
"I'm glad that you ended up here, Kook," Taehyung said, rustling Jungkook's hair lightly.
Then, Jungkook's big doe eyes widened in horror, as if he suddenly realized he did something terrible. "Is it really okay that I came here? Did I disturb hyungs' night?"
Jimin's peach scent soured fast at the question. "Don’t you ever say that again." He poked Jungkook's ribs, making the man whine and push him away.
"You're always welcome here, Kook," Taehyung said, ruffling Jungkook’s hair. "We've said it a thousand times, haven't we?"
"That's right. You kept a key for a reason, it doesn't matter that you're not living here anymore, we're your support system." Jimin finalized it with another poke.
Jungkook batted his hand away and made a sound that was somewhere between a chuckle and a whine.
"I know, I just feel so paranoid and sensitive for no reason," he complained. "I'm sorry I made a mess when I got here."
Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a quick but meaningful glance.
"Ah, there must be a reason though, don't you think?" Jimin said, feigning nonchalance.
But Taehyung was a fan of a more direct approach. "It's July already, don't you think you could be in pre—" He cut his sentence short when Jungkook's scent dipped into distress again. He sighed and looked at Jimin, begging for help.
"Kook, you know it's better if you don't ignore it," Jimin tried to reason.
Jungkook, however, didn't want to know that. He flipped to lie on his tummy and hid his face in the pillow.
"You could suppress it, pup. There's still time," Jimin suggested, not for the first time.
"I can't," Jungkook's voice was muffled by the pillow. I don't want to, he didn't say.
"Then hyungs will take care of you. We can get the week off from work…" Taehyung tried, only to be interrupted again by a loud grunt.
Jungkook turned towards him, with sad eyes, and sighed. "We should quit this talk, hyung.”
Jungkook wondered how many times more they could have the same conversation, pretending they didn't know where it'd lead to.
"I know I shouldn't, but I will always want him. There's nothing I can do about it.”
Saying it out loud made him anxious, upset, and confused, but it was the objective truth. When Jungkook's heat came, his resolve, along with all the walls he built to protect himself, fell to the ground. For three days, he allowed himself to be weak, giving in to the longing he pushed away all year long.
Because when Jungkook's heat came, there was only one person his body craved for. And that, perhaps, would never cease to be true, no matter how complicated things got between them, and despite it being Jungkook the one to leave afterwards, every single time.
♡ 2023 ♡
It was a dark and quiet night in September.
There were no stars in Seoul's sky as Jungkook drove across the city at four o'clock. His bitter scent and dried tears betrayed the stabbing ache in his chest. His phone sat on the passenger seat, unperturbed.
Deafening silence followed him all the way to the front of the building he often went to, both in darker and brighter times. He let himself into the garage, then sent a text to warn his friends he was riding up the elevator. He didn't really expect either of them to be up when he got inside, but there was light coming from the kitchen, and when Jungkook entered, he found Taehyung turning on the kettle.
"Tea?" he asked, getting two mugs from the cabinet.
"Yeah," Jungkook croaked out.
"Chamomile?"
Jungkook hummed in agreement, then took a seat on the small table in the corner.
Neither of them talked until each had a mug of hot tea in their hands. Taehyung sipped on his, but Jungkook just stared at the clear liquid, expression blank.
"What was it this time?" Taehyung asked, not unkindly.
Jungkook flinched anyway. "Just the usual," he breathed out, trying to even out his distressed smell, but likely failing.
He hated talking about how broken his relationship was. There had been a time when he only had good things to say about his husband, but that time was long forgotten, buried by time and resentment.
Taehyung hummed in agreement, but didn't press for details, too familiar with the routine of their fights. Except that night was different from the others.
Jungkook knew, even before anything was set in stone, that it was over this time. There were no phone calls, no text messages. He checked about a million times from the moment he got to his friends' apartment to the moment he fell asleep in the corner of their nest, then again when he woke up alone at noon.
The only message he received was Jimin's, saying he would be home for lunch. Jungkook knew it was only to offer him company, because Jimin usually ate at work, but he wasn't one to deny kindness from his friends at moments like these.
The half an hour it took for Jimin to arrive was spent sulking, looking at the screen, and hoping. For what? He questioned himself. They went through this so many times. I'm sorry. I'll be better. Please, come back. But a lie told a hundred times doesn't become the truth, and it was about time they both understood that.
Their love had changed. It was no longer the young, stupid love they felt in their early twenties, nor was it the tender, careful love they shared as they grew older. What was left of it was the echo of a light that had long burned out. And what a strange kind of pain it was to watch something you cherish so much become distorted, ugly, with no resemblance to what it once was.
Maybe it was for the better to have ended it before they hated each other. Jungkook couldn't bear the idea of ever hating Namjoon. He didn't think he could survive that.
When Jimin got home and hopped on the couch to hug him tight, Jungkook finally broke down—all the tears he held back since leaving his apartment came back full force. He sobbed through the entirety of Jimin's lunch break, but Jimin told him not to bother. One text message about family issues, and his afternoon and evening students were dismissed. Not long after, Taehyung arrived with a bag of fried chicken, Jimin took the soju bottles from the fridge, and they washed all the bad feelings away with food, alcohol and laughter.
Just for that moment, Jungkook allowed himself to forget. Then, after the food was gone, he told them everything. All the ugly feelings, and all the complicated ones. That was when he voiced it out loud for the first time, something he had been thinking about for a while.
Divorce.
A word he never expected to be related to them at all.
He should've called Namjoon right after that, but he didn't. Instead, he called his mother, who picked up the phone almost right away, as if she had been waiting for him to call.
Even through the phone, her voice was calming and kind. When he told her a simplified version of what happened, she assured him things would be okay, and asked if he wanted to come back to Busan for a while, just until everything was sorted out. Jungkook promised to visit soon and they ended the call at that.
After showering and putting on an old t-shirt and sweatpants, he found Taehyung and Jimin already lying together, scrolling through their phones with their legs intertwined. As soon as they heard Jungkook enter the room, they parted enough for him to fit in the middle.
Just like the previous night, their calming scents lulled Jungkook to sleep despite his racing thoughts.
He woke up the next day to a few new notifications on kakaotalk and ignored how his heart skipped a beat at the possibility of any of it being from Namjoon, because he knew they wouldn't be. And he didn't want them to be. Couldn't want it.
When he opened the app, though, it felt like the air was punched out of his lungs.
jin-hyung:
> hey kook
> are you not coming today too? i asked about you yesterday and yoongi said not to bother you but he should know just how much i adore bothering you
> so
> this is me bothering you
> if anything's wrong you can talk to your favorite hyung
> or to me if you'd prefer :p
hobi-hyung:
> good morning 😁💞✨️
> just landed back in seoul, see you later today at the company?
yoongi-hyung:
> take your time if you need a break
> don't worry about the others, i'll keep their curiosity at bay
> tell me if they bother you
> or if you want me to punch Namjoon in the face
There were instant tears in his eyes.
Jungkook couldn't deal with any of them at that moment. He couldn't even start thinking about the company without feeling sick. He couldn't have them knowing about his decision without talking to Namjoon first, but he didn't know when he would have the courage to do that.
So, Jungkook left them on read, and kept skipping work, day after day, until a week had passed. Still, no sign from Namjoon. Not a hint of how he was feeling about all of this.
Jungkook didn't know what he was waiting for. Maybe he wanted to be convinced that he got it wrong somehow, that what they had wasn't unsalvageable. But how long could he keep living like that? Always hoping, always waiting for things to get better.
On the seventh day, Jungkook went back home.
It was the middle of the day, so he didn't expect to find Namjoon there, but as soon as he opened the door, Jungkook knew he was home.
Jungkook had never smelled apricot so sour, but he guessed his own scent wasn't faring much better.
It didn't take long for Namjoon to notice he was there. The bedroom door burst open, and a new wave of bitterness entered the living room. Jungkook scrunched his nose, looking away. The glimpse he had of Namjoon made his heart hurt.
"Kook-ah." Namjoon's voice was rough, like he hadn't used it in a while.
Jungkook felt small, shoulders turned inwards, like he wanted to shrink and disappear. "I'm here to get my things," he mumbled, still not looking towards Namjoon.
He heard a loud intake of breath, but Namjoon didn't say anything. Jungkook could smell the pain going through both of them, though. He'd be lying if he said that leaving Namjoon wasn't the hardest thing he had ever done, and the one thing he never thought he'd do.
They didn't talk about it.
Namjoon said he would leave for an hour, and Jungkook would be free to gather his belongings. Before the end of the hour, Jungkook was already driving back to Jimin and Taehyung's place with half his life packed away in the trunk of his car.
It was mid-November when the divorce process was finalized, less than two months after their separation. No dispute, just bureaucracy. They were still young, no kids, and only a few assets to their names. Namjoon's lawyer proposed an even split for the money in their joint savings account, and a quarter of stocks from Namjoon's company—half of what the alpha himself owned. Jungkook would also keep the car, the one they saved for together.
It was, all in all, an outstanding offer, and Jungkook's lawyer made sure to tell him so. Way above what the law demanded to be given to an omega without pups—which was close to nothing. Generous, was the word he used. There was a hint of judgment in his voice, as if saying: why would you leave such a good alpha?
The next day, Jungkook got the money transferred to his new bank account and sent an e-mail to Big Hit, formally announcing his intention to let go of his active positions in the company—which spanned from vocal instructor to pretty much anything that needed to be done outside of Namjoon and Yoongi's domain. He got a polite answer back, with a referral letter that Jungkook scoffed at.
It was hard to let the company go, too.
Half a decade of dreaming was put into those walls, along with every drop of their blood, sweat and tears. Jungkook made friends there, brothers. He made promises that he was no longer going to keep.
But Jungkook wondered, then, if that dream was ever his, or if he was just so in love that he agreed to dedicate all his youth to raising this company from the ground up because it was his dream. Jungkook loved working there, and he loved what they built, but it was never his priority like it was Namjoon's. Maybe that was where it all went wrong.
As soon as it was all settled, Jungkook traveled to Busan like he promised, and accepted all of his mother's fussing, as well as his father's quiet comfort. He had to argue his way back to Seoul after two weeks, lying that he had a job lined up.
Once he was back, he sold the car and bought a bike. Taehyung teased him, saying he was having a mid-life crisis way too soon. But the truth was that Jungkook had always wanted one, and the extra money would come in handy if he wanted to move out of his friends' house soon. Of course Jimin and Taehyung were against the idea, but it didn't matter. Jungkook felt like he needed to put his life back together, and that included being responsible for his own life, and stop cock-blocking his friends.
"As if!" Jimin protested when Jungkook told him that. "We've been doing it in my studio. The mirrors make it extra sexy."
He winked at his mate and pulled him into a kiss. Jungkook groaned, covering his red face.
"Hyungs, I don't wanna know that! Plus, that's why I'm leaving. You should be able to… do it… in your nest."
Taehyung snickered. "You're talking like a virgin, but you won't fool us, you know. We've seen all the marks on your neck after your heats."
Jimin hit him discreetly, scowling at his careless words. Jungkook's almond scent gained a burnt note, and his expression fell a little bit.
"Shit. I'm sorry—" Taehyung tried, but Jungkook shook his head, forcing a smile as well as he could.
"It's alright. It's all part of moving on, right? We can't avoid the topic forever."
In the end, they had accepted that Jungkook was moving out and helped him find a place to rent. They also sat in his new kitchen and helped him send his resumé to a dozen music schools, as well as announcing his private lessons on social media.
For the first few days, all Jungkook got was one call from someone who complained about the class being too expensive and hung up before Jungkook could even think of a way to respond. To say he was frustrated was an understatement.
Then, one day, Jungkook woke up to dozens of texts and e-mail notifications, all of them from people interested in his classes. He almost dropped his phone and fumbled to video call his friends, in complete disbelief.
Jimin picked up with his face all puffed up from sleep. A moment later, Taehyung appeared next to him, scrunching his eyes at the screen.
"Kook?" he asked, voice deep and soft.
Jungkook told them the news as he walked towards the kitchen to reheat something for breakfast.
"Oh, Kookie," Jimin beamed. "I knew you'd get a lot of students."
"Yes, you're the best!" Taehyung agreed.
Jungkook beamed at the praise. Putting the call on speaker and resting the phone against the counter, he moved around the kitchen with a big smile on his face, buzzing with energy he hadn’t felt recently.
Then, Taehyung added, "I even considered taking classes with you, but Jimin said I shouldn't use my friend privilege to get free classes while you were unemployed."
Jungkook heard the moment he received a slap from Jimin and let out a little ouch, and giggled.
"Did you answer anyone yet?" Jimin asked.
Jungkook shook his head. "I'm so nervous, I have no idea what to say."
"Just read them to us and we'll help you," Taehyung suggested.
Jungkook turned off the stove and put his pan away to pick up his phone, where he clicked on one of the e-mails he received.
He read out loud, "Hello, Jeon-seonsaengnim. I have a young daughter who loves music, and you seem to be the perfect teacher for her. She's very talented and very excited to learn from someone who has taught idols. She dreams of debuting in a company one day…" Jungkook stopped reading, his heart skipping a beat. "Wait… I didn't put where I worked on my public resumé… And I don't think my name was ever publicized while working… there." He frowned.
His friends didn't answer and suddenly their camera was only catching the ceiling, but Jungkook could still hear little sounds like they were whispering to each other and moving around. Then, he heard Jimin say, "Oh… I figured…"
"What?'" Jungkook asked anxiously, biting the inside of his bottom lip.
He received a new notification from Instagram. He hadn't opened the app since the previous night, but he had received several messages there too. The latest notification, however, was Jimin's, from less than a minute ago.
It was a story that looked like the poster Jungkook had uploaded the previous day, but upon clicking on it, he realized it was a repost by another account—Big Hit's account—with the caption, "If you're looking for a competent teacher with incredible sensibility towards students, Jungkook is offering private classes now. Our long partnership in Big Hit only gave us good things to talk about his talent and commitment."
It hit him like a bucket of cold water.
"Hey, before you get mad," Taehyung said, a little panicked, "I bet it was Yoongi-hyungnim who wrote this. I'm sure he just wanted to help."
Jungkook took a deep breath. Keep calm, he told himself.
It could've been Yoongi. Even though he wasn't the most active when handling Big Hit's account among the two owners, he had a soft spot for Jungkook, and the messages he left him almost daily since the separation was proof of that. Messages that Jungkook still didn't have the guts to answer.
"Okay… It could've been Yoongi," he conceded. "So, this is a good thing, right?"
Both Jimin and Taehyung assured him it was a great thing, but he couldn't help but feel like it was wrong to use Big Hit as a stepping stone into his new life.
You worked just as hard for it, the reasonable part of his mind reminded him.
Okay, I got this.
He ended the call and sent Yoongi a thank you message. It didn't take long for the answer to come.
yoongi-hyung:
> it's no biggie
> :]
Jungkook chuckled fondly, trying to keep the aching in his heart at bay. He’d been trying to avoid thinking about how much he missed Yoongi and the others. Since the first day Jungkook skipped work, they never stopped trying to reach out, but each notification cut through him like a knife. Eventually, he archived every conversation, and muted everyone and everything that had to do with Namjoon on social media. Looking at their pictures on his feed felt like peeking through the windows of a life he no longer fit into, and Jungkook just couldn't handle the emotions that flooded him every time.
Besides, Yoongi was Namjoon's friend first. His best friend, at that. Wouldn't it be too selfish of Jungkook to want support from him, when Namjoon needed his support, too? He deserved to have space to process everything, and people to count on without the burden of Jungkook's feelings on top of that. If that meant Jungkook would need to back off from some of his dearest friends, then it was just one more awful thing among this endless nightmare.
Just like Jimin and Taehyung stayed with him, it felt natural for Yoongi, Hoseok, and Seokjin to stay by Namjoon's side.
But, right then, looking at Yoongi's adorable text even after everything, Jungkook wondered if he made the right decision. Because yes, Yoongi was Namjoon’s best friend for fifteen years, but he was also Jungkook's friend for seven, and it had to count for something.
Jungkook thought of all the times Yoongi invited him into his studio to record demos, even though Namjoon had told him the trainees felt intimidated by Jungkook's voice and he should avoid it. Yoongi never listened to him, and later, when Namjoon heard the demos with Jungkook's voice, he would shake his head with one of his cheeky smiles and look at Jungkook fondly, saying, "You should really debut, jagiya." To which Jungkook shook his head and responded, "I like helping them."
The talk about Jungkook debuting was a popular one since they started scouting for talent and no one felt quite right. Yoongi was a fierce believer that they didn't even need other trainees with Jungkook on their roster—that was, until he saw Jung Hoseok.
Scouting him was like catching lightning in a bottle. The beta was a national-winner dancer, charismatic, and had a beautiful voice. When one of Yoongi's contacts from the underground rap scene told him they should take a look at some street dancers for the company, Hoseok had stood out immediately. And, out of all the trainees, he seemed to like rapping the most. When they all gathered to listen to hiphop and freestyle, Hoseok shined the brightest. It didn't take long for him to be in the studio with Namjoon and Yoongi, learning straight from them, practicing together, messing with his own beats and tunes under their guidance. A dozen songs came out of those sessions throughout that first year, and they started gaining traction on Soundcloud before he even debuted.
It was clear to them that Hoseok was one of a kind, and they proposed for him to debut solo, which he agreed to quickly.
Jungkook remembered fondly how, on the night before Hoseok's first stage, he found the trainee dancing in the small practice room, sweating through his clothes and repeating the choreography over and over again. Jungkook stayed there, watching him for a long time since he had nothing else to do other than wait for Namjoon to go home.
By then, Jungkook had already graduated, and had moved out of the dorm straight into Namjoon and Yoongi's shared apartment. His parents weren't very happy about it, but he was in love and he thought there was nothing else in life for him. Teaching music was the passion of his life, and he got to do that with the love of his life by his side, what else could he ask for?
So, even though some of those nights were long, and often Jungkook ended up falling asleep on the couch at Namjoon's studio, he felt happy.
And then, some nights, he got to hang out with Hoseok, too, which was a delight on its own. Because Jungkook had danced for a while as a teen, he always looked at Hoseok with a shine in his eyes, impressed by his skills and stylish movements.
When Hoseok noticed Jungkook watching him practice for his first stage, he jumped in surprise, bowing quickly and greeting him with a polite, "Jungkook-nim."
Jungkook scrunched his nose in delight. "You should go to the dorm and rest, Hoseok-ssi, it's going to be a long day tomorrow."
"I was just going to run it a few more times," Hoseok tried to argue.
Jungkook felt a warm feeling in his chest and, letting his admiration seep through his eyes, he said, "Your performance looks flawless to me, J-Hope."
Hoseok's eyes lit up at the compliment, his heart-shaped smile aimed back at Jungkook. "Thank you, Jungkook-nim."
In that moment, Hoseok was their silver lining, the first spark of hope that they could really make it, and that their dream wasn't as insane as it seemed. After Hope World's successful debut, they attracted investors for the first time, and things slowly started to change.
Jungkook and Hoseok grew closer after that too. After seeing Jungkook so interested in his dancing for a while, Hoseok asked if he wanted to learn the choreography to one of his songs, using the excuse that teaching helped him learn better. It was a fun experience to learn from him, and after years of partnership, Jungkook thought he'd like to call Hoseok a good friend of his.
Their second stroke of luck for their company came in the form of Kim Seokjin, around two years later. Namjoon only informed Jungkook of the arrival of the new trainee the day before. It felt very sudden, since they weren't holding auditions, but all Namjoon said was that he was a good vocalist, and could be the centerpiece for the idol group they had been wanting to form for a while.
Jungkook was eager to welcome him, but for the most part of the next morning, Jungkook was busy running errands for the company. By the time he arrived at there, just shy of lunch time, it had been a few hours since Seokjin's arrival.
Jungkook made his way through the halls, looking for Namjoon to finally be introduced to the new trainee, but in every corner he turned, there were people whispering to each other. Nosy as he was, Jungkook passed through them without raising attention, and listened to every word, catching right away that Seokjin was the target of all the gossip.
New meat was always likely to attract attention, but it unsettled Jungkook when he stopped by the lunch room and heard more closely what they were saying. "I bet he's nothing but a pretty face," an alpha staff member snickered. Then, a bolder trainee asked, "Which of the CEO's do you think he's fucking?" to which another answered, "I don't know, is he a beta or an omega?"
Jungkook thanked the gods for the company's mandatory scent-block policy, or else he'd be stinking up the entire building with how livid he was at the insinuation that his mate would do something like that, as if they were that kind of company.
Jungkook power-walked the rest of the way to Namjoon's studio, knocking on the door impatiently despite knowing the code.
When the door opened, Jungkook knew right away that the man in front of him was Kim Seokjin. Tracing the broad line of his shoulders with his eyes then looking up at his delicate face, Jungkook understood immediately why people were confused about his designation. And, fuck it, the man really was very handsome.
With a dazzling smile, Seokjin greeted him with a light bow, "Jeon Jungkook. I'm Kim Seokjin, it's nice to meet you."
Jungkook repeated the gesture, too stunned to speak.
Seokjin chuckled, his eyes crinkling. "Oh, he's every bit as adorable as you described him, Namjoon-ah."
"Baby?" came Namjoon's voice from inside the studio. Seokjin moved away from the door and revealed Namjoon, who was already walking towards him. Jungkook yelped when the alpha pulled him in by the waist and rubbed his nose against his scent gland, the one bearing his bite mark. "Why didn't you let yourself in? I thought it was a staff member."
Jungkook was surprised by the sudden affection, but he couldn't help but melt into it. If his scent were to break through the blockers, he'd have the entire room smelling like dessert.
"I am a staff member," he joked, half-heartedly. Namjoon nipped lightly at his mark and Jungkook chuckled, leaning into him more.
A cough interrupted them, reminding Jungkook that they weren't alone.
"Yah, have you ended your dominance display yet, Namjoon-ah? I was looking forward to meeting Jungkook, you know?" Seokjin complained.
Attention suddenly drawn to how informally Seokjin was talking to Namjoon, Jungkook's uneasiness from earlier creeped back in.
Pushing Namjoon slightly to the side, Jungkook took another good look at Seokjin with his eyes narrowed. Namjoon, unwilling to detach from Jungkook, wrapped an arm around his waist from behind and rested his chin on Jungkook's shoulder.
Seokjin rolled his eyes, seemingly at Namjoon. "Well, I guess I can work with that." Then, looking at Jungkook, he said, "I heard a lot about you. Only good things, of course."
His smile, while handsome, was pissing Jungkook off.
"Glad to meet you, Seokjin-ssi. I'm sorry I wasn't here to welcome you. Have you known each other for long?" Jungkook tried to keep his tone polite and neutral, but judging by the weird look Seokjin gave him, he probably failed.
"Baby, do you remember when I told you one of our friends from school had become an actor and ran off with the circus?" Namjoon said.
Jungkook searched his mind for such information, but before he could locate it, Seokjin protested, exasperated, "It was a theater crew, not the goddamn circus, I told you that a thousand times."
Jungkook could hear Namjoon holding back a laugh, and he felt the corner of his own lips turning up against his will. Seokjin's ears were red, though out of embarrassment or frustration, Jungkook wasn't sure.
"Yeah, that," Namjoon agreed, dismissively. "Jin and I hadn't talked in years, but he kept in touch with Yoongi from time to time. When he said he was coming back to Seoul, Yoongi asked if he didn't want to give music a try."
At that, Jungkook frowned. "Can you even sing?"
Seokjin scoffed. "I'm an actor! Of course I can sing. I can do pretty much everything I put my mind to."
"I was just showing him some of your demos, baby," Namjoon said, pressing a kiss to Jungkook's cheek. "I wanted him to try Awake, I think it'd fit his tone."
And when Jungkook asked for a demonstration, he could immediately understand why Namjoon chose that song. There was a color to Seokjin's voice that was beautifully unique. It was the first time in a while that Jungkook felt this kind of thrill listening to someone sing, like he was before a gemstone waiting to be polished.
Seokjin, however, lost every bit of his bravado as soon as he stopped singing. He avoided Jungkook's eyes and muttered, humbly, "I know I still have a lot to improve."
Jungkook clicked his tongue at that. "Confidence looked better on you, Seokjin-ssi."
Seokjin's cheeks reddened, and looking completely bashful, he said, "Thank you, Jungkook-ah. You can call me hyung if you want."
Namjoon grumbled and squeezed Jungkook's waist tighter. "Know your limits."
Seokjin rolled his eyes for the second time that day, the shy display evaporating in an instant. "Is he like this with every alpha that comes near you? That's toxic behavior."
Jungkook frowned for a moment before it dawned on him. He started giggling, turning to look at Namjoon with mirth on his face. "Yeobo, you're so silly." He held Namjoon's face in his hands and squeezed. "And to think I came all the way here fuming because I was jealous."
"Wait, what?!" Namjoon and Seokjin said in unison.
Jungkook's mouth twisted in distaste at the memory. But he didn't want to say everything he heard in front of Seokjin, so he chose to tell them a light version, then tell Namjoon the details—with names attatched—later.
"They were going around saying the new trainee was a hot beta, I guess I got a little worried."
"Baby," Namjoon muttered, brushing his lips on Jungkook's cheek. "You know there's no one as hot as you."
"Sounds fake." Jungkook pouted.
"It's not." Namjoon kissed the pout.
"Alright, this is my cue to go." Seokjin clapped, getting his bag from the couch. "Gosh, how do you guys get any work done around here?" he muttered loud enough for them to hear.
Jungkook snorted and pecked Namjoon's lips again.
After that, to Namjoon's mild annoyance, Seokjin and Jungkook became very close. Most of the time, they were bickering, especially when Jungkook demanded to be called seonsaengnim during vocal lessons, and Seokjin very purposefully refused to.
Seokjin proved to be everything their younger trainees rarely ever were: mature, clever, charming and dutifully hardworking. Yoongi seemed over the moon with his presence, and they were often in his studio working on tracks. They were sure he was ready to make a solo debut, instead of the group they were picturing, and following the growing success Hoseok had been gaining in the rap scene both in Korea and abroad, a ballad singer like him could mean reaching a whole new audience.
There was only one problem with that plan. Kim Seokjin didn't want to debut.
Every time the conversation entered that topic, Seokjin kept insisting that he still needed to improve, and for three years, Jungkook waited, reassuring him of how ready he was at every chance he got. By the middle of 2022, Namjoon had worked on an entire album concept for him, but Seokjin insisted that it fit the girl group they were training better.
When Seokjin finally admitted what was wrong—that he didn't think he was as good of a vocalist as other company's idols—Jungkook, who was known for being quiet and not speaking his mind very often, went completely ballistic. He said that Seokjin's self-sabotage was infuriating. It weighed on Jungkook as his vocal instructor that he couldn't even get his student to trust his judgment.
Seokjin listened in silence as Jungkook gave him a piece of his mind. Then, the next day, they discussed it calmly, and Seokjin ended up agreeing to start working on his debut album.
Before Jungkook left the company, they were still listening through their files and inspiration playlists, trying to find the artistic direction Seokjin wanted to take. Then, about three weeks after Jungkook messaged Yoongi about Big Hit's post, his first single came out.
seokjin-hyung:
> Check out Abyss by Jin on Melon!
Jungkook was stunned when he received the message. He had tears in his eyes as he pressed play, both because of the touching lyrics and the fact that he wasn't there for Seokjin like he wanted to be, like he thought he would be when he pushed Seokjin to believe in himself.
Jungkook didn't even know what to say—how to answer Seokjin's text. But he played the song, over and over again. He read the lyrics, and opened the details to see the credits, only to find both Namjoon and Seokjin as the songwriters. Jungkook's smile was a sad but proud thing.
Then, his eyes got caught on the release date. December 4th. Blinking fast a few times, he pushed his notification bar to check the date. It was December 5th. One day after Seokjin's birthday, and he hadn't remembered it.
He felt a pang of guilt in his chest.
jungkook:
> hyung
> that was a beautiful song
> i'm so proud of you
> and happy late birthday
> i'm sorry
It was hours later when his phone buzzed with an answer.
jin-hyung:
> let's meet. same place as always?
Could it be this easy? Just hopping back into their old habits, like nothing had changed between them? It felt hard to believe.
jungkook:
> tomorrow at 7?
jin-hyung:
> see you there.
Their usual place was the hot pot parlor behind the company's building. Jungkook went there straight from his last class, arriving only a few minutes late. When he entered, his eyes immediately found the familiar faces sitting in the furthest corner and making way too much noise.
Warmth blooming in his chest, Jungkook smiled, scrunching his nose as he strided towards his friends.
"Hoseok-hyung, I didn't know you'd come."
Hoseok got up to hug him and Jungkook squeezed him as tight as he could.
"Wow, Jungkookie, always so strong." Hoseok laughed, patting him on the back.
"Yah, I'm here too, you know?" Seokjin complained, getting up to get his own hug.
Jungkook threw himself against him so strongly that they almost fell back. "Hyung," he breathed out. "Life is not annoying enough without you."
Seokjin chuckled and messed up Jungkook's hair. "I missed you too, kiddo."
Taking their seats, with Hoseok and Seokjin side by side and Jungkook in front of them, they placed their orders and looked at each other in silence for a moment until Jungkook spoke up. "Hobi-hyung, you just finished your tour, right?"
Hoseok's smile was big and bright as always. "Yeah, the encore was a bit over a month ago." The fact that Hoseok had texted him once he was back in Korea and he hadn't answered was kindly ignored.
The bunny smile came back to Jungkook's face. "I saw the videos from Brazil, the crowd was insane."
Hoseok nodded enthusiastically, "The energy was on another level."
"I'm happy for you, hyung. And now with Seokjin's single being a success, it looks like things are finally taking off."
At that, Seokjin's smile vanished, and Hoseok looked at him nervously.
"Yeah, they will," Seokjin agreed with a frown. "Which is precisely why I don't understand why you chose now to bail on us."
Jungkook's heart skipped a beat. "It's not as simple as that, hyung, and you know it," he muttered, lowering his gaze.
"I told you to be gentle with him," Hoseok whisper-yelled at Seokjin.
"You said you'd be by my side, remember that, Kook?" Seokjin said, tone less sharp.
Jungkook could hear the sadness in it, and it made him burn in shame.
"When I said I was scared to debut alone, that I thought a group suited me best, you said I wouldn't be alone because you'd be with me behind the scenes."
That felt like a punch to the stomach. "Hyung… I know… I know I broke my promise, but you're not alone. You have Hobi, and Yoongi, and—" He tensed, taking a deep breath. "You're not alone. You don't need me."
Seokjin's lips were sealed tight, his eyebrows deepening even more at Jungkook's words. Hoseok put a hand on Seokjin's shoulder and squeezed in comfort. "Kook," he said, turning to Jungkook with a serious look on his face. "What do you even mean we don't need you? It was never about needing." Hoseok shook his head. "We miss you because we love you. It's been hard for the company, for sure, you were the best in everything you did. But it hurts much more to not have you around to pester us, to not know how you're feeling."
Jungkook chuckled wetly, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He quickly wiped them away. "I'm sorry, hyungs. I never wanted to leave all of you behind. It's just that…" Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip, his legs bouncing under the table as he tried to put his messy thoughts into words. "Everything just hurt so much… I couldn't bear the idea of talking to you guys, and learning that things had changed between us, or even between you and him, because of me."
Hoseok's eyes softened, and he took Jungkook's hand from across the table, giving him a large, heart-shaped smile. "Nothing has changed, Kook-ah." Then, thinking better, he added, "Well, aside from the inevitable things. But we love both of you just the same. We've been with Namjoon-ah as much as possible, and we want to offer you the same support."
Jungkook's heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. His stomach turned in a weird way, and his scent, though tampered by the fading blockers he put on that morning, was giving them mixed signals, equal parts burnt and sweet.
"I'd be glad to have you back in my life," Jungkook mumbled. "Both of you," he added, looking directly at Seokjin, who had been staring at the table for a while. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you debut, hyung. I never want to lose a moment like that again." Feeling a little bit braver, he hooked his heel on Seokjin's leg in front of him. "I saw your performance online. You did really well. I didn't know you could play the piano like that."
Seokjin sniffled and scrunched his nose, trying to hold back tears himself. Then, a moment later, he chuckled and shook his head. "It was Yoongie who taught me. We were working on it for a while, but it was meant to be a surprise for everyone else. Aside from Hoba, of course."
"It was beautiful, hyung. I legit cried while watching it," Jungkook said, emphatically.
Seokjin stopped a smile from taking over his face. "Thank you, Kook-ah."
"If you think Joon—hm, if you think he wouldn't mind, then I'd still like to have you in my life."
"Of course he won't mind. And you don't have to worry about him at all, whatever happens between us, it's between us," Seokjin said, giving Jungkook one of his kind smiles, one he hadn't seen in a while and missed so much.
"Okay." Jungkook nodded. "I appreciate that."
"Your well-being comes first, always," Hoseok said with a soft smile of his own.
"And you could ask Yoongi-hyung if he'd like to come next time," Jungkook added.
Seokjin barked a laugh, throwing his head back. "Oh, if he wants to come, you say?"
Hoseok laughed too, shaking his head like Jungkook had said the funniest joke. "He'll be very pleased if you personally invited him, pup. Then we can all hang out next time."
It was a promise they all made sure to keep. Jungkook stopped questioning whether he could allow himself to have that—have them, despite their stories being connected through Namjoon—and their friendship bloomed once again, through scattered meetings and text messages mostly answered. Back to how things once were, or almost.