Chapter Text
“That’s strange.” Katara’s voice broke through the rather comforting silence on the train taking them to where they will be staying in Ba Sing Se. The water felt cold against Sokka’s skin as she examined him for the second time since they had gotten on despite Joo Dee offering to take them to the finest physician after the tour. Though if he was being honest, he trusted his sister a lot more than anyone Joo Dee recommended, that woman gave him the creeps.
“What’s strange? He already said he felt fine.” Toph chimed in, not bothering to hide her annoyance at Katara’s constant fussing. It was understandable when they were crossing the Serpent’s Pass when Sokka was actually sick.
Whether it was the cactus juice or something else he ate on the way there didn’t matter once he started to feel the effects of it. Surviving the Serpent’s Pass was already an impressive feat, but doing it with a fever so high he often felt like he was on cactus juice again was something else entirely. He was fortunate that the birth of baby Hope slowed them down for a few days, just enough for him to get better and not feel on the brink of death anymore.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Sokka agreed and swatted Katara’s hands away, or at least tried to since Katara was just as stubborn about it as he was.
“Well you’re still burning up. You could still be sick. What if it’s worse than just a normal fever?” The older girl tried to reason with them only to get another shove from her brother who was insisting on being “fine”.
“Maybe it’s still going away. If he says he’s fine then I’m sure we have nothing to worry about.” Aang tried to calm the two before an argument could brew between them. He had bigger worries than Sokka’s passing illness, especially since the boy seemed completely fine now. They still had to find Appa and talk to the Earth King and Joo Dee didn’t seem particularly helpful in that regard.
“Or maybe you’re just not good enough to find it.” Sokka couldn’t help himself, he just had to dig where he could. A healthy bit of sibling bickering was needed even during life or death situations. It almost filled him with satisfaction when he got a good bit of cold water in his face and heard his friends giggling around him. Finally some normalcy.
By the time they reached the Middle Ring of the city Katara gave up, deciding it was easier to give his brother the victory than to cause a scene. Sokka turned to watch the outside as they entered into the unfamiliar area while Joo Dee gave a bite size description of the area. The city under them was littered with shops and restaurants no doubt filled with all kinds of goods that got a part of Sokka’s mind excited. He had some money saved up, it wouldn’t hurt to spend a day shopping after they were done with what they came for. They saved the city from Azula’s invasion after all, they deserved a break.
“Wow, look at all those stores.” Sokka pointed to a specific batch, most likely a center, with multiple streets branching out in all directions.
“Don’t you worry about those, there are much finer shops in the Upper Ring.” It was probably Joo Dee’s fifth or sixth attempt to divert their attention from anything they were curious about. It put him on edge and judging by his friends’ reactions, he wasn’t the only one. She was insistent on keeping them on track and in one place.
“While I appreciate your notice of my exquisite taste, fancy shops need fancy money, which we don’t have unless the King plans to pay us for saving the city.” There was humor in Sokka’s tone, humor that wasn’t appreciated by the woman. Not everyone can have a great enough sense of humour to understand him and that smile wasn't an indication of humor. He couldn’t even look at it without a shiver running up his spine.
The silence this time was a lot heavier, though it wasn’t even real silence since Joo Dee kept going on and on about the city and its rich history. But Sokka couldn’t pay attention. Despite how well he hid it, he was worried about his constant high body temperature too. He has had fevers that took their time leaving but never one that left his skin burning even after every other symptom had been gone for days. He felt a pit in his stomach, his mind went to the worst case scenarios. It only took the ride from the Middle to the Upper Ring for his mind to convince him that he must be dying because of some stupid cactus in some stupid desert.
His legs felt like jelly as they walked off the train and were immediately led towards their new home by the woman, not given a single chance to wander around. The house is no doubt beautiful, this entire ring is a display of some of the Earth Kingdom’s most impressive architecture. Too bad they couldn’t enjoy it, all of their minds were too occupied by much more important things. The war, Appa, Sokka’s looming demise. Well, Sokka hoped that the last one made it on the list for anyone else besides himself.
The inside was even better, mostly because Joo Dee had left them once they agreed to stay inside and not go anywhere. The news that they would have to wait almost two months to talk to the Earth King was infuriating but also surprisingly welcome. It gave his mind something else to think about, a plan. He was the plan guy, that’s what he does, so why does it feel so hard to focus right now? Everyone else was exhausted after the events of the past few weeks and having to travel without Appa only added to the ache in their muscles and bones. Sokka on the other hand felt occasional bursts of energy inside him, like some strange being was trying to crawl out of him, like he was possessed or had a parasite in him.
He slid next to Aang, trying not to draw suspicion to his strange behaviour but failing miserably when the younger boy gave him a side glance.
“Sooo” Sokka drew out the word while trying to figure out how to phrase his undoubtedly stupid question. “since you’re the expert on spirit stuff, is it possible to get possessed by some vengeful ghost or something?” He keeps his tone casual as if they were discussing neighbourhood gossip over jasmine tea.
“I don’t think so.” Somehow the second look he earned was even stranger, like the question made Aang wonder if Sokka really was still ill. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Great, so it’s a parasite. That can’t be it either, wouldn’t Katara have noticed? Sokka mulled that thought over before offering his concerned friend an explanation. “I’m probably just nervous about getting the plan to the King. And tired, very tired. Seriously, I feel like my legs have walked enough for a lifetime.”
Aang’s shoulders dropped at ease, similar exhaustion settling on his face. Sokka thought about asking if he was okay too, but it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about Appa at all, not since they left the desert. Sokka wasn’t going to poke that bear. A life with a sister had taught him when to keep poking and teasing and when to drop it.
“It would probably be a good idea to rest.” Katara agreed to the unsaid thought that lingered in the air and bounced back and forth between the four of them just aching to be brought up. She eyed the door warily. “I have a feeling we won’t get much done today.”
“Agreed. You guys rest, I’ll go on a walk.” Sokka said, already heading to the door with a little too much energy in his steps for someone who just complained about how exhausted he felt.
“A walk? Now?” Katara questioned immediately. That lady must’ve set off a lot of alarms for her to be so suspicious of everything.
“Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly after he stopped by the door. “I’m just, you know, still frustrated over everything that happened. I gotta walk it off otherwise I won’t sleep well. Do you want me to not sleep well? What if I get sick again because you refused to let me sleep the way I should?”
A long silence followed. Though Sokka was no mind reader he could see his sister working out if this was just regular Sokka-ness or something deeper. Thank the spirits for her exhaustion making her give up easier if she didn’t see a point in digging deeper. The strong and deep rooted trust in them came in handy more than Sokka thought it would over the years. It was welcome, even if he knew he would have to pay it back when it was Katara’s turn to lie.
Speaking off, Toph's slight change in expression didn’t go unnoticed by Sokka. The other two didn’t see it, their backs turned to the sitting girl who had her hand pressed against the floor and certainly caught Sokka’s lie beyond what was just hesitancy to open up. For someone who was locked away by her parents like sacred treasure she was awfully observant when it came to human behaviour.
The outside air was cold as the sun began to set. It didn’t bother him much, not since he became a human furnace. It felt like he could cross the South Pole without needing a coat, though that was a great exaggeration, even the hottest of firebenders needed protection from the cold. For a second he thought about what it must be like for firebenders, how lucky they were that they could stay this warm all year round. But that thought quickly slipped, he didn’t want to think about those tyrannical maniacs while trying to take a calming walk.
The ground was solid under his feet, it felt strangely calming how unmoving it was for him despite being in a city full of earthbenders. His legs carried him with fluid motions like water controlled by powerful hands. He barely even paid attention to his surroundings, but he doubted he would get lost when all the buildings around him were obnoxiously recognisable and unique to one another.
Eventually he stopped in front of what seemed like a general goods store of basic necessities, or whatever the rich considered “basic” and "necessities". It wasn’t food it seemed like, Sokka could kill for something carby or fried right around now. Even the unfried avatar shaped dough would be welcomed by his stomach.
He was right about the prices, a fancy shop meant a fancy salary was needed. Looking wouldn’t hurt, nothing seemed particularly interesting anyways. It was all either boring decor or sickeningly decorated and crafted items. He liked the look of luxury, but some aspects of the Upper Ring went too far. Perhaps it was the lingering thoughts of the Lower Ring and the separated society within the city that made him look at the Upper Ring and its luxuries in a strange way. It’s nothing like home, like his tribe.
“Hey kid.” The shopkeeper suddenly spoke up after Sokka zoned out in the middle of an aisle full of finely crafted cutlery for who knows how long. “You must be new around here. Where are your parents?”
The man seemed friendly despite coming across a new face. To be fair, Sokka didn’t look so threatening, especially without his boomerang which he left back at their new home exactly for this reason. He'd be uneasy if someone entered their home with weapons on them. Some peoe here already have him a weird feeling, no need to get on the wrong side of the rest of them.
The man was probably around his father’s age. He didn’t look like how Sokka imagined the nobles of the Earth Kingdom, but it was fair to assume that shops would be operated by those born in the lower rings who worked their way up. Sokka could appreciate the hustle even if it seemed unfair the amount of effort it must've taken for a stable job.
“Well actually, I’m here with the Avatar.” Sokka’s gaze snapped up, his usual charm activating like a deeply imbedded reflex. “You must’ve heard, we stopped the invasion from the Fire Nation and we’re here to talk to the King about the war.”
The man visibly flinched at the words “invasion” and “war”. Weird, but Sokka can’t blame him, war was difficult. He knew that all too well too. But then the man’s expression hardened, eyes stone cold and lips pressed into a thin line.
“You’d do better not talking so loudly about something so foolish. Now go home, we’re closed.” The man’s voice dropped an octave lower in a way that sent alarms blaring in Sokka’s head, it even made him forget about his potential possession or brain eating parasite.
He could swear the sign outside indicated the store was open, but something in him told him he should go back to his friends and add this to the rest of Ba Sing Se’s oddities. He hurried out of the store and heard the door lock click behind him. He b-lined back towards their temporary home. Finally, a good mystery, he thought to himself.
He felt eyes on him, those guards seemed to be everywhere and always staring at him and his friends. The feeling of being watched didn’t disappear even after he closed the door behind him. His breathing was rapid, he hadn’t even realised how much he picked up his speed once he caught the gaze of a pair of men.
“Geez, what happened to you? Your heart is racing like you were chased by a saber tooth moose lion.” Toph laughs, entertained by her own observation and for once, Sokka wished he found her dry humor funny too.
“Very funny Toph, this is serious.” Sokka tried, and failed though shallow breaths, to sound serious. “Joo Dee wasn’t the only one weird about the war. I just got kicked out of a store for just mentioning it. Something is going on.”
“Or” Toph continued, pausing for dramatic effect. “He kicked you out because you were too broke to actually buy anything.”
“This is serious! My detective senses are going off.” Sokka tapped his chin as he thought. “We have to come up with something, soon. We have guards watching us everywhere we go.”
“Maybe we could go out tomorrow and try to find some information about them but it’s too late to do anything today.” Katara said, trying to rub sleep out of her eyes.
Right, sleep. They were all going to sleep just before he left. Sokka had almost forgotten how tired he was supposed to be. Not that it mattered now, his energy surge could easily be chalked up to being stalked by strange guards and a seemingly deluded city that fears the mention of war because of something other than the usual reasons.
He could barely sleep, even after the sudden energy had exited his system the events of today kept him up. He knew he wasn’t the only one, he heard every time Aang tossed and turned. It was both comforting and worrying to know he wasn’t the only one kept up by all of their worries with a new one added to their list.
Luckily for them, the morning came with good news. A party for the King’s pet bear.
“A pet bear? That’s a terrible name for a pet.” Sokka stated with disbelief before stuffing another piece of their delicious breakfast into his mouth.
“I think it’s just a bear, Sokka.” Katara responded without taking her eyes off the notice.
“This is great, we could sneak in and talk to the King.” Aang added excitedly.
“Not so fast twinkle toes.”Toph held up a hand. “Katara and I could make it in but you and Sokka would not convince anyone that you’re noble.”
“What? We can act noble.” Sokka reacted with, in his opinion, an appropriate amount of offense at her statement. He turned to Aang. “We can act very fancy.”
“I agree, very fancy.” The boys agree in a theatrical voice of pretend nobility.
“Katara and I will blend in and find a way to let you in too.” Toph’s tone leaves no room for argument. As much as it bothered Sokka to not be the plan guy after all that thinking yesterday, he had to admit that was pretty solid. Finally reaching the exhaustion he should’ve felt last night made him surprisingly agreeable to most things.
“Actually, I think it’d be better if Sokka sat this one out.” Katara spoke up again, finally putting the paper down and sitting back down with the rest.
“What? Why?” Sokka’s voice rose in volume. Like he said, most things.
“You’re still sick, I think.” She sounded less sure in the statement but not her suspicion of something being wrong. “Besides, we might need a distraction back here. You said they have guards watching us, someone has to get their attention if something goes wrong.”
Sokka’s expression curled into an unsatisfied pout. He appreciated the worry but the timing couldn’t be worse. Besides, he was half convinced Katara didn't actually think they needed a distraction, something in his gut told him it was just an excuse and a poor one at that.
“Katara, this is important. I can’t just stay back and watch you do all the work!” Not to mention that he was the one who insisted on getting information about the day of the black sun back in the library. Not to sound full of himself but a little acknowledgment from the King himself would feel good.
“No offense Sokka, but you don’t look like you’re in the best shape.” Aang pointed at all the crumbs Sokka dropped all over his lap due to his sluggish movements. His lack of sleep last night didn’t help with his efforts to convince his friends that he was alright and no longer feverish. Or possessed. Or with a parasite.
They weren’t wrong, his entire body ached to stay back and lay in bed all day, even if his brain knew that eventually another burst of energy would try to escape this tired vessel.
“Fine, I will cause a distraction.” Sokka grumbled. “But if you mess up, don't come crying to me about how much you needed my expert strategic knowledge.”
Aang gave him one of his usual smiles that did little to ease his feeling of uselessness while Katara just rolled her eyes at his brother’s dramatics.
The entire day felt like he was just waiting. Waiting for his friends to leave, for him to feel strange again, and for some idea of a good distraction to spark in his head. He could always improvise, those guards already looked on edge, it would be easy to piss them off with anything.
Left alone, Sokka watched the Moon as if she held any answers. He still missed Yue sometimes. Even after all the time that passed, even after seeing Suki again, the Moon remained a constant reminder of his failure to protect someone he loved. It was even worse when she was faintly visible during the day behind the swimming clouds. She was inescapable, always there, her memory hung between a sweet collection and a painful burden on his shoulders.
He glanced around occasionally when he felt eyes on him, but he never saw anyone around. If they’re watching him now there’s no doubt they’re watching his sister and friends too.
He didn’t know if he should feel lucky or burdened that whatever possessed him decided that was the perfect moment to try to wiggle out from under his warm, no, hot skin. It felt like his palms were boiling in the cool evening air. It almost reminds of the air at home, it’s as close as he’ll get to sitting in the arctic cold with his hands held out towards the fire for warmth.
One of those nights Katara complained to him about her bending and the lack of opportunities. It was long before they found Aang. Back then she had trouble with any move she tried out. She had no one to teach her, to show her how to do it, all she had was a non-bender brother with two functional ears that would listen to her complain on and on about all the “bender energy” she couldn’t let out. There was probably a better name for it but it’s not like they knew anything about it back then.
She described a similar feeling to what he felt. Power shooting through her like lightning, flooding her like a high tide barely held back by a weak dam. Everyone has chi, but it was admittedly a lot easier for benders to release the pent up energy stuck under their muscles and deep in their bones.
Sokka never heard a non-bender talk about it, no one was ever eager to fight. Damn, he needed a hobby, badly.
He grabbed his boomerang and walked back to the small yard behind their temporary home. Those eyes again, he doesn’t even have to do anything to cause a distraction, they watched him anyway. The city was quiet so it seemed safe to assume nothing went wrong for his friends. Hopefully.
He threw his boomerang a few times, each throw harsher with more force behind them than the one before. Everything frustrated him, anger was practically in his blood. He probably couldn’t live without it. Their plan, the city’s strange citizens, Appa’s disappearance and Aang’s anger, and now his uselessness due to whatever illness Katara was convinced he had, and his newly found insomnia.
“It’s unfair.” Sokka mumbled to himself and partially to his furry friend who settled onto a low branch of the tree next to him. “I’m fine. I did so much for our plan and they just left me here just because I was a little tired.”
He threw his boomerang one more time, putting his entire stance in the swing. The weapon cuts into a different tree a bit further down, stuck where it landed. An annoyed groan left him while he walked across the yard to retrieve his beloved inanimate companion.
Sokka grabbed onto the handle and pulled, but the weapon didn’t even budge. He pulled, and pulled, and pulled some more, but his efforts bore no fruit. Fucking great, he grumbled to himself.
Not having any benders around to help, he changed his stance, one leg behind the other, solid like ground beneath him and the tree in front of him. He grabbed the handle again with his dominant hand and put the other against the tree as an anchor. He took a deep breath, he watched his friends channel their energy into bending many times before, he thought perhaps he could try the same but with raw strength instead.
He pulled again, not tugging like before but rather concentrating on keeping a solid form and forcing the energy into his hands. His palms got warmer and warmer against the rough tree and the familiar handle from his effort. His eyes squeezed shut and he gritted his teeth together. The wood quietly cracked where the boomerang had cut it, slowly letting up its strong hold.
His palm that rested against the wood kept getting warmer and warmer until it felt blazing hot and he yanked his hand back. He opened his eyes to look at his red aching palm. The boomerang was out, pulled out when he staggered back because of the pain in his other hand. He stared down at it, or rather the reflection of warm light that showered it. He heard Momo screech and fly away from where he was resting.
Sokka turned his gaze back to the tree, his eyes wide once met with the fire in front of him. He stared at the fire crawling up higher and higher on the tree. It felt familiar, something similar to what he felt simmering inside his body, his bones, joints, even his skin pulled towards the tantalizing warmth. Yet it was just as terrifying as it always has been, a silent killer shining in the dark night.
Questions ran through his mind, messy and scrambled. Had he done this? It couldn’t be, he wasn't a bender, but his hand ached from the effort. For once he felt pressure ease off him. The thing, the being that has been trying to escape his body for weeks was gone. It left through his hand and consumed the tree in front of him. It felt alive, like him. Same energy, same heartbeat, same life force.
He couldn’t dwell on it for too long. Panic set in quickly after the horrible realisation that he did this. He was a bender, the worst of all of them.
The sound of nearby civilians panicking broke him out of his thoughts. Somehow he didn’t think to stay and act dumb like he didn’t know what happened. His mind was too preoccupied by what he had done and the mere fact that he had done it.
His mind turned blank as he ran as fast as he could, staying in the shadows and away from the gathering crowd to go unnoticed. The cold air bit into his skin at this pace, a welcome feeling to contrast the warmth from before.
His feet carried him all the way to the wall separating the Upper and Middle Ring of Ba Sing Se. He must've ran a lot, his feet hurt and his joints ached. His gaze snapped to a small hole in the giant wall, an oversight in an otherwise perfect city. Without thinking it through and climbed through the hole to the other side. He wanted to be alone, alone with his thoughts and under the watch of the Moon and the Moon only.
He pushed through the tight passage which left his clothes dirty with debris and torn on his right side. The cold air tickled his warm skin in a rather unpleasant way unlike it did before. He quickly dusted himself off before he kept walking and forced a normal pace on himself to not draw too much attention to himself.
It was dark outside but not too late so the Middle Ring, or at least this side of it, still felt alive. Restaurants, bars, and even some shops were still open and filled with people. The streets were lit and the air was filled with laughter and light chatter. They felt ages away from Sokka, if he tried to reach out they would probably float further away from him.
He didn’t stop until he reached a passage between the Middle and Lower Ring. It was a lot easier to cross between those two on foot than it was to leave the Upper Ring. He walked across, wanting to leave the suffocating air of the busy Middle Ring. It was probably approaching the time when people would start drinking anyways, the worst time of night.
Sokka kept slowing down until he came to a halt, unable to keep going once the adrenaline had faded. Next to him stood a small tea shop, still open thanks to a miracle, but it was more likely due to the difficult economy of the Lower Ring forcing people to work overtime. But Sokka didn’t want to think about something so depressing right now.
Pao Family Tea House. It sounded nice, peaceful, and the small building looked charming and inviting.
Sokka dug into his pocket. He always kept a few coins with him, just in case, he told himself. His throat felt dry from all the running and panicking he went through. Suddenly tea sounded good, like life’s elixir. Cold tea, nothing hot, he would even settle for room temperature water, anything to calm his racing heart.
He made up his mind and pushed through the door.