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Growing up at the Anakt Garden was always more preferable for Sua. She has Mizi there. A bright, beautiful and cheerful girl around her age. Whenever they weren’t practicing to sing, the two girls tended to get lost somewhere far away from everyone. Usually, to make flower crowns for each other.
Sua knew, she loved Mizi since the beginning or perhaps it was fascination at first, but it sure blossomed into love fast.
Regretfully, Sua wasn’t the only one who admired Mizi that way. Practically every boy at the garden was crushing on Mizi. Each day, there was another boy disturbing the two girls, to get Mizi’s attention. Sua tended to hide her own displeasure, whenever another boy confessed his love for Mizi in front of her.
She made sure to observe each attribute, that a boy had to offer, to compare herself with them afterwards. Her obsession grew, the older they got and after more and more guys had the guts to confess their feelings to Mizi.
Fortunately, Mizi always rejected their confessions plainly. Though, Sua wasn’t exactly sure of the exact reason just yet. Whenever, she asked the pink haired girl about it, she only got a laugh in response back, before being dragged somewhere far away to pick flowers for a new flower crown.
At one point, Mizi almost fell off a cliff. That scared Sua off as she desperately was holding onto Mizi’s hand to save her from falling, while crying in fear. Purple eyes looked desperately into green eyes, after realising that living a life without the other girl, didn’t have any value.
After this incident, they grew even closer than ever. Sua confessed her feelings for Mizi, in fear that she may never have another chance again. The girls started dating soon after that. They shared sweet kisses, held hands with passion and shared a lot of late night conversation and laughter.
It was nice, until it wasn’t.
Mizi was the embodiment of perfection. Sua on the other hand is only good in their shared classes. She couldn’t feel good enough with herself, no matter what. Never satisfied with anything and deep down, she believed that Mizi was too good for her too. As if she didn’t deserve her entirely.
No matter what, whenever she looks in the mirror, she could only observe all her flaws.
Sua knew that Mizi loves her, and she knows it's crazy to think like that but she couldn’t help it. It was like a human standing besides a deity. An unreachable gap, never to be reached by Sua.
The announcement of who is going to perform against each other was released recently. The very first round is going to be between her and Mizi.
They both already decided on the song and were now deciding who is going to sing which part.
Sua decided to give Mizi a lot of her own lines to reassure Mizi’s certain win . After all, she couldn’t live in a world without Mizi.
Watching the past rounds gave her comfort. The bullets seemed to always take out the loser immediately. The fear of death never disappeared, but it never outweighed the possibility of a life without Mizi.
Somehow, a gut feeling told her that Mizi probably knew about her sacrificing plan already. Maybe she was too scared to voice it out, maybe she respects Sua’s decision or maybe she didn’t care enough. It wouldn’t matter soon anyways.
Now, it was the night before their round and they were laying in their shared bed together. Mizi was playing with Sua’s short hair in silence for quite a while. The energy was off. Knowing that one of them will die tomorrow. Knowing that Sua will die tomorrow. Sua has already prepared a farewell gift and letter for Mizi. She knows it was selfish to leave Mizi alone with all the pain and grief, but she wasn’t ready to experience this emotions and hardships herself.
“I love you, Sua.”
Mizi whispered quietly before kissing her forehead. It was tender.
Like a farewell kiss.
Sua smiled at her. It didn’t matter that Mizi may already know the truth. She didn’t want Mizi’s last memories of her being plastered with sorrow and pain.
“I love you too, my universe.” Sua took Mizi’s hand up, to kiss her knuckles gently. She wasn’t sure if she should continue to say anything else. Still, Sua didn’t want their last night to be spent in silence.
She stood up and offered her hand to the green eyed woman to get her up too. They had still some time left and what better thing could they do, than go to the garden, to craft some flower crowns one last time for each other and sharing a few last kisses.