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Lohen officially joined the knights of favonius around thirteen or so; he had aspired to be a part of the knights, given he was just an expedition prep he was still happy to be in this position. He got bored easily, he hated it as much as anyone else he thought, his chronic boredom didn’t help. He mostly got his excitement from exploring off duty, he loved fighting, he loved the thrill of doing anything violent that would cause himself or others pain as much as other people hated it he didn’t care much. He was helping out with some preparations for a five month expedition, he was over packing weapons. He would pick one up and admire it before putting it into the crate. He decided to take a break and look around the prep-site, he saw a tall blonde man talking to some person he couldn’t name even if he tried. The blonde man intrigued him, who was he… Lohen knew he was someone important but who was he. Lohen thought for a moment and then it clicked— that was Varka, the grandmaster of the knights. Lohen felt his heart jump, he admired from afar until he decided to just go back to work still thinking about the man. Later on when Lohen was finally wrapping up—
“Hey there! I don’t think I’ve seen you around, what’s your name, little guy?” Varka asked, his voice booming.
Lohen froze for a moment then glanced up at the man towering over him, he was in awe. Varka was so much— so much more close up, his scars were more visible and he was staggering over him like a tower.
“Uhm— it’s Lohen, Sir.” Lohen spoke calmly.
“Lohen, ey? You seem quite young to be working for the knight of favonius.” Varka commented almost absentmindedly.
“I’m fifteen, sir, and I was an adventurer before joining at thirteen.” Lohen explained to Varka.
“Damn kid, you're fifteen? You must be real strong, even preparing for expeditions is a big job. Keep up the good work and you’ll take my job soon enough.” He laughed boastfully at the end of that.
“You are the grandmaster… right?” Lohen asked his tone almost like a child who’s amazed by something.
“Yup! That’s me! Grandmaster of the knights of Favonius, Varka.” He sounded so proud of himself, well deserved of course.
Lohen's heart was racing— I mean he had to assume Varka was well over eighteen, right? There’s no way someone becomes grandmaster at fifteen or anything like that, Plus with his build and voice it made it easier to deduce that. Still even so Lohen felt what others would call “love” despite their assumed age gap, in fact that made Lohen feel more of that thrill he longed for.
“And how old are you again, Grandmaster?” Lohen questioned, trying to confirm his hypothesis he made in his mind.
“Please call me Varka.” He held his hand up shaking his head at the formal title, “and I’m twenty five, why do you ask?” He tilted his head.
“Just curious, is all.” Lohen replied instantaneously.
Lohen could feel his heart thrumming against his chest, twenty five? Varka was a whole ten years older than him. Lohen nearly groaned thinking about it, he managed to keep quiet though.
“Well, I guess I’ll leave you so you can get back to working—“ Varka was cut off by Lohen grabbing his arm.
“Don’t leave— not yet, I can work and talk!” Lohen managed to keep the panic he felt bottled up, just barely sounding friendly enough to make it seem like admiration.
“Ah… well alright then, I’ll stay.” Varka gave in.
Lohen had to hold himself back from smiling ear to ear, he turned to get back to work to hide the blush he knew was coming. A while passed of them talking back and fourth, Varka was a seemingly easy person to talk to. Meanwhile, Lohen being the teenager he was, he had assumed Varka felt something towards him as well, but then again he was an adult and Lohen was still merely fifteen. He still had to try, but if it didn’t work he wouldn’t know what he’d do. He's skilled in making poisons so maybe he could— no… no he wouldn’t.
“Say uhm… Varka?” Lohen began.
“Yeah? What’s up?” Varka replied, his voice still happy and carefree.
“Whats your opinion on… on younger people?” Lohen asked.
“Like what eighteen year olds? Nineteen? I mean I guess I don’t mind it—“ Lohen but Varka off.
“No, like my age.” Lohen said, staring at Varka expectantly.
“… Pardon?” Varka asked, his voice losing some of that same go lucky tone he had before.
“You know, like my age.” Lohen repeated.
“Kid I— I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but I’m afraid I can’t do anything with you. You’re not legal, in fact you’re three years from.” Varka spoke reasonably, it annoyed Lohen.
“Please! I promise I—“ Varka held his hand up, stopping Lohen.
“No, Lohen. You’re fifteen, I’m twenty five.” Varka continued, “it’s wrong and I could get in trouble for even considering doing anything with you, it’s not right, Lohen.” He reinforced it.
“…” Lohen was silent for a moment, “alright, I understand. I’m sorry.” Lohen apologized.
“It’s fine, kid. Just don’t expect anything from me, Kay?” Varka had his normal cheery tone again, like nothing happened.
Lohen nodded and finished up his job, he hated it, he hated that Varka didn’t want him. He was perfect right? I mean sure he had some flaws but still, it’s not like he was threatening him or anything. They talked a bit more, awkwardness was there but Varka ignored it, Lohen tried to.
“Well, I’m afraid I’ve gotta head off now, Lohen.” Varka sighed out. “I’ll see you ‘round.” He said as he waved bye.
“Bye!” Lohen said simply, he didn’t say anything else.
Lohen spent the rest of the day exploring and fighting slimes and hilichurls, his mind was still stuck on Varka. No matter what he did or what he tried to think about Varka always came back, he was annoyed by it but another feeling stirred in his gut. He ended up returning home after a day of being bored despite doing what he normally enjoyed, he went up to his room after getting himself some water and some random snack to munch on to maybe avoid thinking about Varka. Once he was up in his room he shut the door and set his water and snack down to change into more comfortable clothes, he changed into a sweatshirt and some baggy shorts. He sat down on his bed and grabbed his food and munched on it for a minute, the room silent other than the sound of his chewing. He finished what he had grabbed and took a long drink of water, he sat there in silence. After a moment of simply sitting there his thoughts once more drifted to Varka, he felt that same heat in his lower abdomen from before.
“Stupid…” he mumbled.
He groaned annoyed as he fell back onto his bed laying down covering his eyes with his arm, he let out a long sigh.
“It doesn’t matter that I’m fifteen.. age doesn’t matter, I'm plenty mature… right?” He hated this feeling, the feeling in his chest and the one near his pelvic area.
He groaned again, god he was talking to himself. He lifted his arms and covered his eyes with his hands, letting out another sigh. Varka.. why was Lohen so whipped for him? Lohen never even knew he found men attractive until now, well… Now that he thought about it he never really saw the appeal in women much either, there was that one girl though, but even she was more masculine. He glanced down towards his crotch and saw a bulge being formed, was that the heated feeling he felt? he sat back up and reached down, rubbing the bulge through his clothing.
“Hnngh…” he whined out.
He unbuttoned his shorts and tossed them off unbotheredly, his boxers followed soon after. His cock stood at attention, throbbing and already leaking pre-cum. Varka would never know, right? How would he figure out Lohen jerked off to him, he shouldn’t have any way to find out. Lohen wrapped his fingers around the base of his member, groaning at the feeling.
“Agh…” he breathed out, “V-Varka…”
He moved his hand up and down a few times, pumping his cock just enough to get stimulation. He whimpered at each motion, something was missing though. He reached over to a neatly placed box on his nightstand and unlocked it, it was filled with razors, knives, lighters etc. He grabbed a precision knife he had in there and held it to his thigh, he groaned his hand still moving up and down on his cock, he pressed the knife to his thigh and cut blood swelling instantly.
“Ah!” He moaned out desperately.
He cut again, it went down to Styro pretty easily and god did he enjoy it. It made his heart race and his cheeks flush, he felt his abdomen tighten he was already so close just what the two cuts he did.
“H-hah—“ he panted out, biting his lip.
He cut another, it didn’t go as deep as the others nor as deep as he wanted but it was just enough to make him cum. He whined out as his cock throbbed and as he spelt over his bed, legs and floor area. The cuts stung as they continued to bleed, he sat there panting for a few minutes before grabbing a towel and cleaned up his blood then his cum. He grabbed another box filled with medical supplies and wrapped his thigh up, he hissed as the bandages touched the cuts.
“Fuck…” he groaned.
He got dressed and plopped back down onto his bed, he soon fell asleep. He woke up hours later, he peaked out his window and realized that it was sunset. He rubbed his eyes and stretched then dressed in something presentable, he then headed out. He walked around Mondstadt for a while then found himself peaking into the Angel’s Share windows, he saw Varka already two bottles in on dandelion wine and already ordering another, clearly drunk. Lohen watched from the window for a while, admiring the man. The way he drank his wine, the way his fingers wrapped around the glass, the way his hair fell back when he chugged it. Lohen was obsessed, he finally had something that cured his boredom, he finally found something that he could make his and his alone. An hour passed and Varka was finally done, four full bottles of wine could knock a normal man unconscious for a day, not Varka though, that only made Lohen become more obsessive. Varka paid for his drinks and stumbled out of the bar, the other patrons saying bye while he walked out. He immediately felt someone watching him, he whipped his head around but found no one so he just blamed it on him being paranoid or drunk. Lohen was on one of the rooftops watching him from afar, he only ducked under when Varka looked in his direction to stay unseen. Once Varka stopped looking around and started walking, Lohen silently followed him, hiding behind trees and buildings when Varka looked around still suspicious. That was until Varka returned to his home, Lohen watching as he unlocked the door and slipped inside. Lohen jumped down after five minutes, just to be safe. He then walked over to a window and tested to see if it was unlocked, it was in fact unlocked, he smiled from way to ear and opened it slowly then climbed inside. Varka’s house was neat, it matched what Lohen expected his house to look like. He heard water running from what he assumed to be Varka’s room and silently snuck into the room, hiding in his closet. Varka was in his bathroom washing up some, his movements still slow, Lohen deduced he was still at least a little drunk. Once Varka was done he stumbled back into his bedroom and began to undress to relax, Lohen nearly screamed as he did. Lohen covered his mouth from inside the closet to keep quiet, his face heating up with blush. Once Varka was completely naked Lohen noted that he was already brick hard, Lohen could feel his own excitement growing at the sight. Varka flopped down on his bed letting out a breathy sigh, stretching his arms out then resting his head in his arms. Lohen admired his body as he palmed his erection, letting out the quietest whimpers he could trying to stay quiet so Varka wouldn’t hear. Varka just laid there for a while, Lohen began to think he was sleeping. So… Lohen snuck out of the closet and approached him, hovering over him on the bed. Lohen was so tempted to touch Varka, touch his chest, his legs, his cock.. Lohen was stuck in dream land until Varka suddenly grabbed him by the throat— Lohen felt panic fill his body, his heart dropping.
“Why the hell are you in my house?” Varka’s voice was low, dangerous even. Though, Lohen still picked up on the drunken slurring in his voice.
“I-I—“ Lohen couldn’t get out a proper answer.
Varka didn’t say much else, though he definitely noticed Lohen’s bulge. Varka in his mind knew it was wrong, a part of him wanted it though, a part of him that was enhanced by his drunken mind wanted Lohen.
“You’re a creep.” Varka mumbled. “A stupid little creep.” He sloppily kissed Lohen’s neck.
Lohen still couldn’t respond, he was still in star struck shock. Varka then grabbed Lohen with ease and pulled him into his lap despite his drunken state of mind. Varka’s own cock hardened now, Lohen made a flustered and shocked whimper as he was brought onto the man’s lap, he felt Varka’s erection pressing up against his ass and back.
“I give in, kid. You get me.” Varka said his speech slurred slightly as he kissed Lohen, his movements slowed and clumsy.
“Mm—“ Lohen let out a muffled whimper into the sudden kiss.
Lohen celebrated in his mind, given he knew Varka was drunk and his thoughts probably were unfiltered, but still Lohen was so stoked about it. Varka grabbed the back of his head, deepening the kiss as he grabbed the boy's waist and pulled him closer roughly. Varka slipped his tongue into his mouth, Lohen didn’t struggle against Varka much, it’s not like he wanted to. Varka broke away with a ragged gasp, his chest heaving as he stared down at Lohen with blown pupils and flushed cheeks. The alcohol on his breath mingled with the heat between them, and Lohen found himself staring up at the man, dazed and breathless, lips swollen and wet.
"Fuck," Varka muttered, his grip still firm on the back of Lohen's head, fingers tangled in his hair. "You're too pretty for your own good, you know that?"
Lohen's face burned hotter, his heart hammering against his ribs. He could still feel Varka's hardness pressing insistently against him, and the realization that he caused that he had this effect on this man sent a dizzying rush of arousal straight to his own groin.
"I—" Lohen started, but Varka wasn't waiting for an answer.
With a grunt of effort, Varka shifted beneath him, one hand leaving Lohen's waist to grip the back of his neck, pulling him down until their chests pressed together—bare skin against fabric, hot and overwhelming. Lohen's breath hitched as Varka dragged his mouth along his jaw, teeth grazing the tendon there with just enough pressure to make him whimper, before sinking into the juncture of his neck and shoulder with a hunger that bordered on feral. The bite sent a jolt straight through Lohen's core, his hips jerking involuntarily, but Varka wasn't done. With a rough tug at Lohen's hair, Varka guided him lower, maneuvering him down his body until Lohen was kneeling between his spread thighs, face level with Varka's naked arousal thick and so so close, close enough that Lohen could feel the heat radiating off him. Varka leaned back against the hewdbo, his chest heaving, and looked down at Lohen with blown pupils and a wicked, drunken smirk. He kept one hand tangled in Lohen's hair, the other wrapping around his own length, giving himself a slow stroke that had him groaning.
"Touch me," Varka commanded, his voice rough and slurred as he grabbed Lohen's hand and brought it down. "C'mon, kid. You wanted this, right? Wanted me?"
Lohen's fingers wrapped around Varka's length tentatively, marveling at the heat and weight of him. He gave an experimental stroke, and Varka's head fell back with a guttural moan that went straight to Lohen's core.
"Shit— yeah. Just like that." Varka's hips bucked upward, thrusting into Lohen's grip. "Tighter. Don't be gentle, I won't break."
Emboldened by the praise and the desperate need in Varka's voice, Lohen tightened his grip, finding a rhythm as he pumped his hand along Varka's shaft. The skin was velvety soft over steel, and the way Varka writhed beneath him, muttering curses and breathless praises, made Lohen feel powerful in a way he never had before.
"Fuck, your hands are perfect," Varka groaned, his own hands roaming greedily over Lohen's body grabbing at his waist, his thighs, slipping under his shirt to touch bare skin. "Get up. Wanna see you."
Lohen reluctantly released his grip, standing on shaky legs as Varka's hungry eyes raked over him. The older man reached out, jerking Lohen closer by the belt loops, and made quick work of his zipper, shoving his pants and underwear down in one rough motion.
"Gorgeous," Varka breathed, wrapping a hand around Lohen's own aching length, making him cry out at the sudden contact. "Look at you. Fucking desperate for it."
"Varka—" Lohen whimpered, his knees weak as Varka stroked him with a firm, practiced grip. The contrast of the rough calluses against his sensitive skin had him trembling, his hips jerking involuntarily into the touch.
"Turn around," Varka ordered, his voice dropping an octave, thick with command even through his drunken haze. "Wanna feel you. Wanna be inside you, kid. You got me so fucking worked up."
Lohen's breath left him in a rush at the words, arousal and anticipation coiling tight in his belly. He turned, bracing his hands against the wall as he heard Varka rummaging for something, oil, lotion, whatever he could find. And then those rough hands were on him again, spreading him open, preparing him with hurried, eager fingers that had him gasping and pushing back against the intrusion.
"Easy, easy," Varka murmured, though his own patience was clearly fraying. "God, you're tight. Can't wait—"
The press of Varka's cock against his entrance had Lohen tensing for a moment, but then Varka was pushing forward, sinking into him with a slow, steady pressure that burned so perfectly Lohen saw stars. He cried out, his forehead falling against the wall as Varka bottomed out, filling him completely.
"Fuck, fuck," Varka chanted, his forehead pressed against Lohen's shoulder, his breath hot and ragged against his skin. "You feel incredible. So fucking good, kid. So good for me."
And then Varka started to move, slow, rolling thrusts at first that quickly gained speed and desperation as his inhibitions dissolved completely in the alcohol and heat. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, punctuated by Varka's grunts and Lohen's broken moans, the rough friction of Varka's cock dragging against his walls sending sparks of pleasure shooting up his spine.
"Touch yourself," Varka panted, his grip on Lohen's hips bruising as he pulled him back to meet each thrust. "Wanna feel you come around me. Wanna hear you."
Lohen obeyed, his hand flying to his own neglected arousal, stroking himself in time with Varka's movements. The dual sensations were overwhelming, Varka's thick length pounding into him, the rough grip on his hips, the filthy praises falling from the older man's lips in slurred, desperate gasps.
"That's it. That's it, Lohen. Fuck— gonna—" Varka's rhythm faltered, his thrusts becoming erratic and deep as he chased his own release. "Come for me. Come on my cock, you beautiful little creep."
The words tipped Lohen over the edge. With a strangled cry, he spilled over his own fingers, his body tightening around Varka as wave after wave of pleasure crashed through him. The sensation of Lohen clenching around him dragged Varka down too, and with a final, deep thrust and a guttural groan, he came undone, spilling himself inside Lohen with shuddering breaths and trembling hands.
They stayed like that for a moment, pressed together, panting, sweat-slicked and spent. Varka's knees finally buckled and he slumped back onto the seat, taking Lohen with him. They collapsed in a tangle of limbs, Varka's arms wrapping loosely around Lohen's waist as he pressed lazy, sloppy kisses to his neck.
"You're trouble," Varka mumbled, his voice heavy with exhaustion and alcohol. "Dangerous fucking trouble."
Lohen smiled, his head spinning, his body aching in the best possible way.
“Worth it," he whispered back, still panting. Lohen smiled, his head spinning, his body
Aching.
Varka fell asleep soon after, exhaustion taking over. Lohen lingered in the afterglow only a little while longer, curled against Varka’s broad chest in the rumpled sheets of Varka’s bed. When the bigger man’s breathing evened out into sleep, Lohen carefully extracted himself from the tangle of limbs. He moved quietly through the unfamiliar bedroom, gathering his scattered clothes from the floor, and dressed in the dark. That same night, he slipped out of Varka’s house without waking him, pulling the front door shut softly behind him. The walk home was long and cool, every step sending a pleasant ache through his body and reminding him of the marks Varka had left behind.
Three days passed, on a late Thursday evening a knock sounded at Lohen’s front door.
He opened it to find Varka standing there, looking unusually tense and uncertain, hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Hey,” Varka said quietly. “Can I come in? I… I need to talk to you about Saturday night.”
Lohen stepped aside and let him in. They settled in the living room, but Varka remained standing, restless.
“I’ve been replaying it in my head for days,” Varka started, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was too rough. Too drunk. I shouldn’t have let things get so intense, especially not like that in my own bed when you barely knew the place. And you’re still fifteen, I took advantage of you and I just… I’m sorry, Lohen. If I pushed too far or made you feel trapped—”
“You didn’t,” Lohen interrupted gently, moving closer. “I wanted it. Every second.”
Varka exhaled shakily, still holding himself back. “Doesn’t make it right. I don’t want to be someone who takes advantage of someone so young I mean you’re still—“
Lohen’s response was physical. He stepped right into Varka’s space, pushed him down onto the couch, and climbed into his lap, straddling those thick thighs. Before Varka could protest again, Lohen cupped his face and kissed him, coaxing him to stay quiet. He rocked his hips deliberately, letting Varka feel how much he wanted this.
“Lohen… wait,” Varka murmured against his mouth, hands settling on Lohen’s hips but not pulling him closer. The reluctance was clear in his voice.
“Stop apologizing,” Lohen whispered, kissing him again, tongue sliding teasingly along Varka’s lower lip. “I’m not fragile. I want you. I want this again.”
He kept kissing and grinding until Varka’s resistance finally cracked with a low, defeated groan. Only then did Lohen take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Once there, Varka was still careful, almost painfully so. He undressed Lohen slowly, kissing every new inch of skin like an apology. When they were both naked, he laid Lohen down on the bed and settled between his thighs, holding most of his weight on his elbows so their bodies barely touched.
“We don’t have to do this,” Varka said softly, eyes dark with conflict. “We can stop, Lohen.”
“I don’t want to stop,” Lohen replied. “I want you and I want this.”
He reached for the folding knife Varka still carried, flicked it open, and drew a shallow, clean line just below his own collarbone. Blood welled up immediately, vivid against his skin.
“Taste me.” Varka’s breath hitched, but he didn’t pull away when Lohen guided his head down. “Please, Varka, I need you to.” Lohen pleaded.
Varka hesitated for a heartbeat, then licked the fresh cut with aching gentleness, tongue slow and reverent. Lohen moaned at the sting and the wet heat. Encouraged, he made another shallow cut on his chest, then one across Varka’s pectoral. Varka licked that one too, movements tender, almost worshipful, even as their bodies pressed together and he finally slid inside Lohen. Slow, deep, and controlled. He stayed gentle the entire time. His thrusts were measured and loving, one hand cradling Lohen’s head while the other soothed over the bleeding lines. Blood smeared warmly between them with every roll of their hips, but Varka never got rough. He kissed and licked every cut, murmuring soft praises and quiet apologies against Lohen’s skin. Lohen came first, clenching hard around him with a broken cry as another small cut on his thigh reopened. The fresh sting blended perfectly with pleasure. Only then did Varka allow himself to finish, burying himself deep with a low, shuddering groan. Afterward, Varka pulled Lohen into his arms, holding him close and pressing gentle kisses to every mark they’d made.
“I’m still sorry,” he whispered into Lohen’s hair.
Lohen smiled, sleepy and content against his chest, his thigh still bleeding and throbbing from the cut
“Don’t be. This is exactly what I want. You’re all mine now anyways, all mine forever and ever.” Lohen whispered to Varka possessively.
“I could get into so much trouble… fuck..” Varka Mumbled to himself.
“Shh, I won’t tell unless you do.” Lohen reassured
“Still… I shouldn’t have done this.. you’re fifteen, Lohen, I’m twenty five.” Varka once again brought up.
“You weren’t worried about that when you were drunk, were you?” Lohen mentioned.
“I.. I don’t think so.” Varka admitted, guilty still.
“Exactly, so lay down let me clean you up and then we can sleep, okay?” Lohen stated.
“Okay.. fine.” Varka gave in easily, mostly out of guilt but he admitted it’d be nice to let someone take care of him for once.
Lohen kissed his neck once then got up and grabbed a towel, cleaning himself up from the blood and Varka’s cum. He then moved back to Varka and cleaned him up as well, making sure he was clean before he nuzzled back into him. They laid there cuddling for a while, Varka having a mental dilemma about this— about their relationship, what they’ve done together.. Meanwhile, Lohen was just happy about this, about finally having what he had been obsessing over. They both soon fell asleep in each other's arms, both of them comforted by the feeling despite any feeling of discomfort either of them had.