Chapter Text
September
“I need to go.”
“Noo!”
“Five minutes, Char, or I’m gonna miss it.”
Charlie pouted. “You can run fast, I’ve seen you.”
He felt him sigh, his arms around him, the two of them entwined in an embrace beneath the departure board at King’s Cross station. Commuters stood all around them, staring up at the boards, talking on their phones, eating food from paper bags or else staring mindlessly into space.
Charlie buried his face into Nick’s shoulder and inhaled. He wanted to hold onto him for as long as he could, until the very last second.
Up until the last hour or so, he had been looking forward to going back to uni. Only now he remembered how it felt to say goodbye to Nick at a station like this—and how incredible their summer had been. Once again, they were going from seeing each other every day to seeing each other two to three times a month.
It was doable. They had done it all last year. They still messaged every day, still FaceTimed when they woke up and before they went to sleep. But it wasn’t the same as being able to kiss him awake every morning, or hold his hand as they walked through life together. It wasn’t the same as the gentle, casual brushes of touch they would share without even noticing—until they were miles apart.
“The train at Platform 0 is the 13:36 service to Leeds…”
They drifted towards the barrier together. When Charlie could go no further, he handed Nick the carrier bag. “Here’s your snacks,” he said. “Is your ticket ready? Where’s your phone? Your charger’s in the inside pocket. If you can’t—”
Nick cut him off with a kiss. Charlie leaned into it with a sigh, swaying on his tiptoes to savour every last drop.
“Ugh! I don’t want to leave you!” Nick groaned. “What do we need an education for anyway?”
“I know right,” Charlie murmured, kiss-drunk. “And who put London and Leeds so far away from each other?”
Nick hummed softly, and leaned to rest his forehead against Charlie’s, his eyes closed. Charlie followed suit. For about three seconds before another announcement broke their embrace for good.
“Shit. I’m gonna miss it.” Nick pressed a kiss to Charlie’s forehead, then turned towards the barrier.
“What a shame that would be…”
Charlie sighed. He watched Nick walk off down the platform, waving and waving until he got to the train door where he turned to blow him a kiss. A man with a massive suitcase scoffed at him, and Nick hurriedly dodged out of his way. Charlie giggled as Nick apologised profusely.
“You are a dork!” Charlie yelled, laughing. “I love you!”
“I love you, too!”
Charlie waved, grinning, a traitorous tear in his eye. Then Nick stepped onto the train and disappeared from view. Charlie stood there by the barrier until the train had pulled out of the station. Then he turned back to the city he now felt so alone in.
But London had become his home last year, and this year he knew he would slip right back into things much easier than he had before. This was familiar now—as opposed to terrifyingly brand new.
He put on his headphones, set some music playing, and headed for the tube. Last year he’d been able to walk from King’s Cross to his halls of residence, but now he lived in Zone 2. He and the Bakerloo Line were going to get very well acquainted this year.
As soon as he took a seat on the train, his phone beeped in his pocket.
NICK (13:46): I miss you!
CHARLIE (13:46): it’s been less than 5 mins you sap
NICK (13:47): Are you on the tube?
CHARLIE (13:47): yep
NICK (13:47): Don’t miss your stop!
CHARLIE (14:48): yes, thank you, nicholas, don’t think that’ll be a problem today 🙁
About two weeks ago, he and Nick had made their very first journey to Charlie’s new home near Kilburn Park. They’d gotten so distracted by each other, they made it all the way to Wembley before they noticed.
As he changed trains, Charlie feared he was smiling to himself just a tad too much. The days they had spent getting things sorted in his new student house with Nick and his new housemates had been some of the best he’d had in a long while. He was finally officially out of halls and into somewhere he and his friends had chosen themselves. He was going to live with people he liked.
And he was happy that Nick, too, had found a similar set up in Leeds. Charlie had gone along to help him move in a few weeks ago—but if he were honest, Nick had been much more help than Charlie had been. There had been a lot of carrying things, and it was difficult not to get distracted when Nick was so… competent.
Nick had done about three months of Psychology at Leeds his first year at uni before promptly having a breakdown and threatening to drop out. He had been miserable, hated his course, didn’t feel smart enough, didn’t make any decent friends—and all of that had made Charlie miss him ten times more. The worry had been constant and helpless. The only good thing Nick had found that first year had been the rugby team. Nick had been worried he wouldn’t be able to continue with it, once he re-applied and got onto the correct course, but he tried out again, and—of course—was accepted, as Charlie told him he would.
Now, Nick was in his second year of his early years teaching degree and thriving. And it didn’t hurt that this put them both at the same stage in their university careers. They would graduate at the same time. They would be free to start the rest of their lives at the same time.
Charlie got off the tube at Kilburn Park and walked to Victoria Road. Number forty-nine was his.
The terraced house wasn’t fancy or anything that aesthetically pleasing. It was tall and narrow. The view out the front was an equally unremarkable small block of flats. His bedroom was on the second floor. Another perk of being out halls for good was the double bed—even if he’d had to shove it right into the corner to be able to use his desk.
It was only a twelve minute tube ride to uni.
It was perfect.
He had been glad he’d had Nick to help move all his luggage inside since there was a flight of steep steps leading up to the front door. He and his housemates had already predicted the inevitability of someone falling up or down them while drunk at some point in their future.
He took the key from his pocket, but found the door unlocked. He poked his head inside. “Hello? Anyone home?”
“Charlie!”
Lena and Robin burst up from the kitchen table as Charlie entered. They threw their arms around him, and the three of them began to jump in a circle together like idiots. Lena pressed a series of excited kisses to Charlie’s face, then to Robin’s for good measure, who squirmed away. “Blergh, Lena, you already got me before!”
She shrugged. “I’m just so happy the three of us are finally all here—together! We are gonna have the best year!”
Robin groaned and rolled their eyes but Charlie knew they were secretly as giddy, too.
“How was your holiday?” Charlie asked Lena as they settled around the kitchen table. “Oh my god, you’re glowing.” She was very tanned.
“Incredible, thanks for asking.”
Charlie had only made one true friend in halls last year, and that had been Lena. She studied psychology, and the two of them had been the only queers in the entire eight-person flat. The other six had been much rowdier than either of them. They liked to party, too, but they also liked to sleep.
“A holiday with your parents? Incredible?” Robin snorted.
“Um, I wasn’t going to turn down a free trip to Rome. And besides, me and my sister basically never saw our parents the entire time.”
Robin shook their head. “Couldn’t fathom such a thing…”
“You’re just mad I wasn’t allowed to invite you.”
“Ugh! You’re so right,” said Robin. “My parents go to the same villa in Bournemouth every single year. Take pity on me, their only child.”
Charlie and Lena met Robin at their very first LGBTQ+ Network meeting last year. They studied theatre, and yet had ended up in halls with half the football team and a couple of very straight business students. Charlie and Robin had bonded over witnessing the mess that had been Lena falling hard and fast for the gorgeous vice principal of the Network, Frankie. While Lena was a hopeless romantic, Robin catered to a string of flings and situationships Charlie could never hope to keep straight in his head.
There was a knock on the door, and Lena sprung up from her chair again. “Ooh! That’ll be Ellis! It’s open!” She went out into the hall while Charlie and Robin groaned. “We need this man, okay!”
All three of them had been tentatively trying to be optimistic, not to mention friendly and hospitable, when it came to their fourth and final housemate.
Charlie and Robin exchanged a look, sighed, then got up to follow Lena, only to be chivied away. “Let’s not all hound him at once. You’ll scare him off.”
Back in the kitchen, Robin sat back down, looking apprehensive, while Charlie put the kettle on. They listened to Lena chatter away as she came back down the hall to join them again, a large, sandy-haired man in tow, a massive hiking rucksack over his broad shoulders. He stood in the doorway, clearly nervous and extra awkward as he towered over all of them.
“Hey.”
Charlie had only met Ellis in person once, and that had been about two months ago. They had needed a fourth income to make living there feasible. Ellis kind of reminded Charlie of Nick—if Nick were straight, played football, looked less good with scruff and was much, much more boring.
Charlie poured everyone a cup of tea, while Lena grabbed the sticky note she’d stuck to the fridge and handed it to Ellis. “This is all our numbers, just in case.”
“Thanks,” said Ellis. “I’ll send you all mine.” He scanned the names. “Um… who’s Nick?”
Charlie blinked.
“Oh,” said Lena. “That’s Charlie’s boyfriend.”
There was an awkward pause, and Charlie’s stomach dropped involuntarily.
Ellis frowned. “Why do I need his number?”
“Just pretend Nick is our fifth housemate,” said Robin with a laugh. “He’ll be here very often so it’s for the best.”
The guy didn’t look thrilled at this, but as he accepted the tea Charlie offered him, then disappeared down the stairs to his room, Charlie suspected this whole thing might be pretty intimidating for him, too. The three of them had known each other a year already, were best friends and pretty queer. And other than knowing Robin vaguely through a friend, he had nothing in common with any of them.
That was why they’d given him the basement room. It wasn’t really the basement but there was a wall directly across his bedroom window, blocking out most of the light. There was a little lounge area outside his room that none of them expected to use that much, so Ellis basically had two entire rooms and ultimate access to the garden—a tiny stretch of straggly grass with one and a half plastic chairs tangled in the weeds—for all his sports bro needs.
Charlie was about to take a sip of his tea when his phone beeped indicating a FaceTime call. He grinned, and clicked it through. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Nick smiled at him from his train seat. “Did you make it home safe?”
“I did. Everyone’s here—say hi!”
He turned the phone so Nick could see Lena and Robin.
“Hi, Nick!” they chorused—slightly less enthusiastically than Charlie thought was warranted.
“Okay, we’re going to take this into the bedroom. See you later!”
He hurried from the table, taking his tea with him.
“Ugh! I’m so single,” Lena whined.
Charlie jogged up the two flights of stairs, chattering away to Nick all the while. He dropped his bag by his desk, shut the door, then flopped onto his freshly made bed. “Are you nearly there?”
“Half an hour to go,” said Nick. “I sent you everyone’s numbers.”
“Thank you! I’ll send you Ellis’ when I’ve got it—he already knows you’re basically our fifth housemate.”
“Char, I’ve already had Will try and add you to the chore schedule.”
“I hope you told him no.”
“Darling, give me more credit than that. When you’re here, you need to be hanging out with me, not tidying up after a bunch of gross rugby lads.”
Charlie made a face. “I’d only do that for exactly one gross rugby lad.”
“Hey!”
“Now I think of it, I hope our new sports bro housemate isn’t going to stink up the place too badly. He does have his own bathroom at least.”
“Uh oh. He’s there, then?”
“Yep. Just got here.”
Nick hummed, frowning. “Are you sure Lena vetted him? Is she sure he’s not a massive dickhead who’s going to murder you all in your sleep?”
“Don’t be prejudiced against straight football lads.”
“He plays football? Gross.”
Charlie shrugged. “He seems kind of shy, and baffled to be in a house full of queers, so…”
He caught Nick’s eye through the screen and the two of them got stuck. That look in Nick’s gaze… Charlie rarely managed to catch a glimpse of it—he was normally too distracted by him—but there it was. The look Nick often got on his face when he was looking at Charlie. The one their friends back home teased him endlessly about.
“I miss you.”
“I want to cuddle you so badly right now.”
They both pouted helplessly.
Charlie let out a groan. “Wah!” he cried, rolling over on his bed. “This never gets any easier!”
The next morning, Charlie woke late. After a quick check in with Nick, he ate breakfast with Lena and Robin, then the three of them headed together towards uni on the Bakerloo line.
The main UCL campus was buzzing. Introduction week had well and truly started. Their plan was to spend the morning signing up for all the clubs and societies they were interested in. And their first port of call was, of course, the LGBTQ+ Network.
Anji, the head officer greeted them fleetingly, rushed off their feet already it seemed.
“Hey, Frankie,” said Charlie as they approached the table. “Is Anji okay?”
“They’re fine.” Frankie handed him a pride flag gift bag. “The stupid 3d Printing Society set their stall up between us and the Trans* Network, and it’s ruined the flow Anji envisioned. I honestly think they’re more annoyed than us. There’s only about five people in that society and no one new has been able to find them.”
“They could just print themselves a new stall,” said Robin. “Somewhere else.” They took their gift bag with a grin.
“Exactly,” Frankie laughed. “Hey, Lena. How was your holiday?”
She tried to hand Lena a bag, but Lena had gone all gooey and red in the face. Normally, Lena was a highly intelligent and functioning individual, but all that fell away whenever she came face to face with Frankie.
“Err…” Her eyes got very wide. Charlie hoped she wouldn’t self combust.
Frankie tried valiantly to hand her the gift bag one last time, but Lena couldn’t seem to see anything but her.
“I’ll take that,” said Robin, and plucked it from Frankie’s hand. “Thanks. Come along, Lena, there’s a good disaster.” They slung an arm around her and guided her away from the stall.
Charlie patted her shoulder. “It’s alright, you didn’t embarrass yourself too badly.”
“Do you think she noticed I cut my hair?”
“Um…” Robin glanced at Charlie. “Yeah… definitely.”
“She’s so beautiful. And kind. And funny. And she was so chill about the 3d people even when Anji was stressed.” Lena blinked out of her pink-tinted gaze. Her face fell and she groaned. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassing!”
Charlie gave her a quick hug. “Aw, you’re not, I promise. You’re just… a little bit hopeless.”
They drew apart again, and Charlie turned to find Robin had disappeared. A moment later, he spotted them again. They had crossed the courtyard and was now chatting up some hot, tall person with bright blue hair.
“It’s working already,” Lena whined. “How is it already working for them and not me? Am I unlikable? Is it because I’m smart? Am I unapproachable? Intimidating?”
Charlie remembered the bright hue of Lena’s face when she’d been confronted with Frankie and tried not to laugh. “Um, I think maybe you’re just too aware of your own existence.”
“Oh. How do I stop doing that?”
Charlie shrugged. “Who knows.”
“Ugh! You’re no help, Mr I-Found-the-Love-of-My-Life-at-Fifteen.”
“I was fourteen.”
“Not the point! God!”
“I’m sure we can find someone here who’ll date you,” said Charlie. “Look, there’s a whole table of lesbians over there.”
For several moments, he and Lena watched the group from afar.
Charlie gulped. Even he was intimidated.
Lena’s gaze drifted back to the welcome desk. Frankie was now chatting happily with a nervous looking group of freshers, her nose ring glinting in the sun, the spiky quiff of her hair a topic of admiration between the students.
“That’s not the problem,” said Charlie quietly. “You just want her.”
“Yeah. I do.”
Charlie so wanted Lena and Frankie to be possible. They were entire opposites aesthetically—Frankie was short and punk, while Lena was taller and preppy. The two of them together would have been adorable if nothing else. But Frankie was a year older, and had an immensely scary group of biker friends so far removed from Charlie and Lena’s vibe it was hard to get her alone.
“Oh my god, guys!” Robin jogged back over, a celebratory grin on their face. “That girl with the blue hair said you’re cute!”
Lena froze, stunned.
“Really?” Charlie nudged her. “That’s good, right?”
“Yeah,” said Robin. “Right before she gave me her number. I’m seeing her tonight. I’m willing to share if we keep the details confidential. I’m not sure I want to know what—”
Charlie shot them a look. “Robin, shut up.”
“Right, sorry.” They sighed. “Monogamy must be so exhausting.”
“It’s not,” said Charlie, at the same time as Lena said, “It so is.”
Robin draped an arm around each of them. “Come on you two. Let’s go and get slushies. They’re handing them out for free and they’re rainbow coloured!”
Probably due to the fact they were free, the queue for slushies was almost the entire length of the courtyard.
“Charlie! Lena! Robin! Hey, guys!”
They approached the end of the queue to find Kai, Charlie’s friend from his Classics course, and Jacob, Kai’s boyfriend, waving at them. And then suddenly, Kai was trying to hug all three of them at once. “Hi, guys. I’ve missed you.”
“Oh my god have you heard the rumour?” Kai asked, speaking a mile a minute as was his way.
Charlie smiled. “No.”
“They’re saying that Henry Maddox is teaching one of the Classics modules this year.”
Every single other thing in Charlie’s brain vanished at once. The queue moved along without him, and his friends had to push him along.
“What?” Jacob scoffed. “Not you as well. Who is this guy?”
“Babe, I told you!” Kai exclaimed. “I showed you! Henry Maddox is only the hottest, sexiest, smartest and all round best classicist and homosexual combo that ever graced Instagram with his presence.”
“He’s like the Pedro Pascal of the Classics world,” Charlie explained to Lena and Robin, who looked equally perplexed.
“He’s like Madonna but male and gay,” said Kai.
“He’s like… like—Jonathan Bailey,” said Charlie. “You like him, right, Robin?”
“Of course.”
“Imagine if Jonathan Bailey suddenly decided to run a theatre workshop here.”
“I would die.” Robin’s mouth dropped wide. “Oh my god.”
“Thank you!” Kai waved his hands. “We are not long for this world, Charlie Spring.”
Jacob rolled his eyes. “It’s just a rumour. You don’t even know if it’s true.”
But Charlie couldn’t help it, his mind raced at the mere idea. “Imagine!”
He almost squealed.
Kai actually did let out a squeal as they tottered further towards the slushy stand.
Jacob continued to shake his head in fond exasperation. “And there’s two of them,” he sighed. “Just don’t go leaving me for your professor, please, I can’t handle that sort of heartbreak. Even if it would be very scandalous and slightly cool.”
Kai skipped back to his boyfriend’s side to press a lingering kiss to his mouth. “Don’t worry, babe. If it comes to that, I’m down for a threesome.” He took Jacob’s hand, then turned to Charlie. “Or a foursome, if you wanna join.”
Charlie snorted. “It’d have to be five.”
“Wow,” Lena laughed. “That bed is getting crowded.”
The remaining people in front of them moved away and they stepped up to the stand.
“Did I hear you talking about Henry Maddox?” asked the trans guy working the machine. It was Ashkan, one of their fellow Classics students. “Is it true he’s teaching here this year?”
Charlie and Kai shrugged, giggling.
“That’s the rumour,” said Charlie.
Ashkan raised a dark eyebrow and smirked. “If it’s true, are you two gonna keep it in your pants?”
“I dunno.” Kai grinned. “Our boyfriends had better keep a close eye on us, that’s all I’m saying.”
Jacob tightened his arm around Kai’s shoulders as the others laughed.
“I was only joking,” said Charlie. “It was a joke.”
Ashkan softened. “I know. So was I. Enjoy your rainbow slush of dreams. Hope it makes you gayer.”
They thanked him, then carried their cups back across the courtyard together. Frankie was still busy at the table. The 3d Printing Society seemed to have only lost members.
Charlie sipped his drink. The overly sugary mystery fruit flavour helped clear some of the dark clouds which had begun to gather in his head. “I don’t want that fivesome,” he said.
His friends turn to blink at him, confused.
“Charlie,” Kai groaned. “That was a joke, too, right? Like I’d ever cheat on this one here.” He smacked a kiss to Jacob’s cheek. Jacob beamed. “Like you’d ever want more than your precious Nick.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Kai knows that,” said Lena. “You know how he gets.”
“Yeah,” said Jacob. “Don’t listen to this idiot.”
“I’m sorry,” said Kai. “If I took it too far.”
Charlie exhaled, shook his head, drank some more slushy. “Don’t worry about it. I knew you were joking, and so was I until… I dunno. I didn’t think it was, but maybe even joking about being with someone who isn’t Nick is kind of… too far for me, I suppose.”
He knew his friends hadn’t meant to upset him. For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even know why he had got so upset. He made jokes like that all the time. The others were constantly teasing him about his rather unusual-for-his-age committed relationship, but he knew they respected Nick and Charlie, loved them both. Sometimes he suspected they were secretly jealous—Lena not so secretly. Kai and Jacob had been together almost a year, but he’d heard the way they fought sometimes. He and Nick had never spoken to each other like that.
“Want to come with us to get some food?” asked Jacob.
“Okay, yes!” Robin exclaimed. “I want that!”
Lena went to follow along, but turned when Charlie didn’t do the same.
“I think I’m gonna… I was gonna sign up for running, so I’ll, um, see you later?”
“You sure?”
“Mmhm.”
“Okay.” She gave him that look, the one which reminded him of Tori. “Bye, then.”
He watched his friends walk away, Kai and Jacob hand in hand. That horrible yearning for Nick—to see him, to talk to him, to be held by him—struck him as hard as it only did during those first few days of their separations. Seeing happy couples like that, especially happy gay couples, well… it made him miss him even more, that was all.
Charlie headed around the building, past more stalls and booths and tables, ducking between students carrying brightly coloured bags and wearing free sunglasses with the UCL logo printed on the sides. He loved his university. He was studying his favourite subject in one of the best cities in the world. Nick loved Leeds and his life there. Neither of those things were less important than their relationship.
Equal. Charlie would settle for equal.
He found the running club booth beside a rather raucous rugby booth, which made him feel a little better. He didn’t have to do any of that anymore.
He greeted Simon, the leader of the running club, paid the admission fee, then told him he’d be at Regent’s Park on Wednesday for their first meet. He’d only joined the club half way through last year, when he realised he missed running. The scheduled runs had really helped him get into a routine—even if his first few had been embarrassingly difficult after six months away and quite an eventful freshers week.
On the way back, he eyed the Music Society booth, but considered a lunch break was in order, even if he had shrugged off his friends. He could always sign up for music tomorrow. He grabbed a Meal Deal from the nearest Tesco Express, then found a quiet spot near the Wilkins building to eat. The Wilkins building was the main building of UCL, and it was surrounded by courtyards and little niches to sit in.
As was usual for meal times, he propped his phone against his water bottle and FaceTimed Nick.
“Hi! I was just about to call you!” Nick was outside, too. There was a rainbow lanyard around his neck, and a patch of glitter across his eyebrow. “Is your tongue red?”
“I dunno, is it?” Charlie stuck out his tongue.
“It is!” Nick laughed.
“They were handing out free rainbow slush at the LGBTQ+ Network, but it was kind of horrible.”
“I just came from mine!”
“No way! I never would have guessed.” Charlie opened his sandwich. “Did you know you have a glitter-eyebrow?”
“Yep. Definitely. We also got free condoms.”
“Nice!”
“I will warn you, they are cherry flavoured.”
Charlie made a face. “You can have them ones then. In your mouth, I mean. Where are you?”
Nick sat back more comfortably on his bench and looked around. “I’m sitting on the edge of the park with a Meal Deal and a tea from Costa. Have a bag of free pride stuff. It’s overcast as always. There’s some sort of yoga pilates class happening over there, and Gethin and Will are currently trying to see how much bread a pigeon will eat at once. Where are you?”
“By the Wilkins building, in a corner. I can’t see a single other person but you—just how I like it.”
“Where are the others?”
“They went to get some lunch, but I needed some peace and quiet. And I wanted to talk to you, so…” He sighed. “And I just signed up for running club with rainbow slushy tongue and I didn’t even realise, so that’s great.”
“Rugby doesn’t start until tomorrow.”
“I’m excited for you!”
“Me too!”
They fell into comfortable, cosy quiet as they ate.
“Are you still worried about your placement?” Charlie asked when they were done.
“I mean, yeah,” said Nick. “I’m just nervous.”
“Do you know when you’ll know yet?”
“Not yet.”
“You’ll be great, wherever you end up. They’ll love you and you’ll be so great.”
“You’re biased.”
“I know, but still, you’re lovely, kids love you.”
“It’s not the kids I’m worried about. They’re not the ones employing me and judging me.”
“I wish I could give you a hug.”
“I wish I had someone to try out these condoms with.”
Charlie choked on his water, and then they were both giggling.
It was only when they were re-settling, phones in hand, that Charlie remembered…
“You know Kai?”
“The alternate universe you? Yes.”
“Pfft! Please, he’s way too cheerful.”
“What about him?”
“He said there’s a rumour that Henry Maddox is teaching one of the Classics modules this year.”
“What?!”
“It’s just a rumour, but yeah.”
“Oh my god, Charlie, that would be so cool! You’ve loved him since you were like, twelve!”
Charlie grinned. “I don’t want to get my hopes up, but getting to be taught by one of my all time biggest heroes, that’d be… incredible.”
*
The next morning, Charlie had every intention of venturing out to sign up for the Music Society, but one thing had led to another over FaceTime the night before, and neither Nick nor Charlie had gotten much sleep. They had talked and talked well into the early hours of the morning and by midday, Charlie was still in bed. Once he did wake up, and once he’d extracted his phone from his bed covers, he got thoroughly distracted by the very hot rugby selfie Nick had sent him. After some further alone time, he tapped out a thorough description of his enjoyment to Nick as an extra special treat for when he was done with rugby.
He finally made it downstairs to find a stranger standing in the kitchen.
She was even shorter than Frankie, her poppy red hair in loose plaits, cat printed pyjama shorts just peaking out from beneath the oversized t-shirt she wore. She was standing by the counter, apparently making a sandwich.
Charlie watched cautiously from the doorway. “Um, hi?”
The girl turned with a smile. “Morning!”
“Morning.” Charlie braved a step further into his own kitchen, clutching his phone. “Um…”
“Oh, sorry!” Flustered, the girl giggled, then held out her hand. It was sticky with mayonnaise. “Oh, shit, whoops.” She wiped it on her pyjama shorts. “I’m Maria.”
Charlie shook her mayonnaise-free hand. “Charlie.”
“Nice to meet you, Charlie. I used some of the bread. I hope that’s okay. And the lettuce, and other stuff.”
“Th-that’s fine.”
The door creaked behind him, and then Ellis appeared. Fully ignoring Charlie’s presence, he swept an arm around Maria and kissed her. She handed half her sandwich to him.
“You are an angel,” he said, heart-eyes aglow.
The pair sat down together at the table, their chairs as close together as possible.
Ooh.
“Ellis,” said Charlie, amused. “Is this your girlfriend?”
Maria looked up. “Sorry! Did I not say that? Wow, you must think I’m such a creep, breaking into your kitchen and robbing your sandwich supplies.”
“Well, I knew there must be some reasonable explanation,” said Charlie. “But I have to admit, I was a little confused.”
“All of which could have been avoided if you’d just told your housemates you had a girlfriend, sweetheart.” Ellis blushed. “Are you ashamed of me?”
“No! How could I ever—?!”
Maria smacked a kiss to his cheek, then ruffled his hair. “I’m just teasing.”
Charlie made himself a sandwich, then sat down with them to eat while he made a start on job hunting. He tried to ignore their lovey-dovey chatter but it was actually kind of nice.
“Sorry if we’re being too much,” said Maria as she and Ellis washed their plates.
“You weren’t,” said Charlie. “You remind me of me and my boyfriend, actually.”
“Oh, does he live here, too?”
“No. He goes to Leeds.”
“Oh shit,” said Ellis. “That’s far.”
“How long have you been together?” asked Maria.
“Four and a half years.”
Ellis and Maria stared.
“Well done, mate,” said Ellis. “That’s some commitment.”
Maria clapped her hands together. “Can I see a picture?”
And Charlie couldn’t pretend he wasn’t always delighted to have an excuse to show off his boyfriend. He extracted his phone again, and Maria skipped over to look, Ellis following slightly less enthusiastically. Charlie clicked onto his photos—but before he could swipe away, both Maria and Ellis got a full view of the extra special photo Charlie had so enjoyed that morning.
“Oh my goodness!” Maria gasped.
Charlie sighed, his cheeks bright red. But the damage had been done, they had seen. He held the phone out for them both to see better.
“He plays rugby?”
“Mmhm.”
“Yeah, uh huh,” said Maria. “I get it. That sweaty look—and those shorts!”
Charlie grinned. “I know.”
“He’s fit,” said Ellis. “Even if he is a rugger.”
The phone beeped in Maria’s hand. “Ooh, you got a text!” She handed it back to Charlie.
It was from the coffee shop he’d applied to. Thanks for applying, we’ll get back to you shortly to arrange an interview.
With that new worry burning a hole in his pocket, Charlie headed to Regent’s Park for his first running club meet the following day. It had been a twice weekly fixture in his life last year, and one he looked forward to. He didn’t know anyone very intimately, but Naseem and Kyra waved to him as he arrived, and he of course knew Simon, the leader. There seemed to be a lot of new people, which was nice, and he got chatting to a couple of very young looking fresher girls, who were nervous to join the Music Society, too.
“I was going to sign up for that tomorrow, actually,” said Charlie. “I wanted to last year but I chickened out. I went to a few of their concerts and they’re really good.”
“Would you mind meeting us somewhere so we can all go together?”
“Sure.”
They exchanged numbers. But the next day, when they made it to the correct building, it turned out both girls were classically trained violinists. Both of them got accepted easily into all the ensembles they auditioned for. Charlie, on the other hand, was only interested in Concert Band, which meant he only had to pay seven pounds and he didn’t have to audition.
After a hasty lunch, he made his way to his favourite reading spot, hoping to claim it again this year. It had been a remarkable stroke of luck when one of the older Classics students had told him about Senate House and its library. It wasn’t technically a UCL library, but UCL students were permitted to sign up for free access. The building itself was huge, and kind of intimidating, if he was honest. But up in the lift, he was taken to a wide series of art deco rooms—one of which was filled with plush leather sofas, perfect for lounging in while studying.
Charlie did use the sofas sometimes, but he much preferred to head straight past them, between the bookshelves, to a desk right in the far corner where Charlie could tuck himself away for hours, undisturbed. He had never arrived to find someone else in his spot, and today was no different. He set his things down, shrugged off his jacket and got comfy. The books around him were beyond his knowledge, and thus he was not easily distracted by them. He’d been itching to dip into his new reading material. Of course, he’d had a quick look when he’d first received them, and of course he’d read the Iliad cover to cover many times already. But now he could curl up in his corner and read for hours, the soft light of the lamps and the dark wooden panelling creating the cosy sort of ambience perfect for romanticising his work. What better subject to romanticise, than Ancient Greek?
The rest of introduction week continued with nothing left to do besides get a head start on reading. While trying to forget his looming job interview. By the morning of, Charlie had shoved it so thoroughly to the back of his mind he had managed to convince himself it wasn’t happening at all. He was going to make his way to Baker Street after the Classics Society meeting, that was all.
The Classics Society met on Fridays in the Classics common room in Gordon House, the building where the Greek and Latin departments shared their offices. They were a pretty popular society, even with people outside the course—mostly history and literature students, but some others, too. As much as Charlie loved music and running, this and the LGBTQ+ Network were where his heart truly lay.
He walked towards Gordon House, his phone to his ear.
“Bye for a while, then,” Nick was saying fondly. “You always get lost in the Latin and I don’t hear from you for ages. Remember me, Char, amongst the Latin and the Greek and the smart people.”
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you more than Achilles loved Patroclus.”
“Asdfghjkl…”
He could practically hear Nick smirk. He knew he could turn Charlie to jelly whenever he talked like that.
Charlie entered the common room with the sappiest of sappy expressions still on his face. Kai waved from a sofa on the far side, and Charlie hurried through the chattering crowd to join him. He slung off his backpack and tucked it between his feet.
“How’s Nick?”
Charlie had forgotten how easily his friends could tell when he’d just come from talking to Nick. “He’s great. He said he loved me more than Achilles loved Patroclus.”
“Awwww!” Kai cooed.
Someone nearby scoffed. Neither of them needed to turn around to know it was Samantha. She wore her dark hair in a knot on top of her head, and owned a wardrobe committed to a grey-scale colour scheme. Beware any fool who called her Sam or Sammy.
Charlie and Kai raised their eyebrows, but before they could ask what her problem was, she flounced into the chair beside them. “Don’t you just hate it when people’s only reference to classic literature is the Song of Achilles? A book written in 2011.”
Kai opened his mouth to retort, but Charlie held out a hand.
“Okay, firstly,” he said. “Your tone indicates that you think anyone who doesn’t know about the classics is dumb, which is untrue, narrow minded and rude. Secondly, we should all be thankful the Song of Achilles exists so that hundreds of years of ignorant, spiteful prejudice could be cast aside to show that queer love has existed for the whole of human history, and open an accessible doorway for all the non-classically inclined to take an interest. And thirdly, you might want to think about accusing my boyfriend of being dumb before I knock you out. He’s one of the smartest people I know, and also the sweetest. How many of you—?” Several others had turned to listen. “—have successfully got your significant other to take an interest in the Classics so far as to read an entire book?”
There was a general murmur of “that’s fair” and “he has a point.”
“Jacob loves Percy Jackson,” said Kai.
Samantha opened her mouth. Then closed it again. “I didn’t mean…”
She trailed off, and Charlie rolled his eyes. He tried to exchange a look with Kai—but Kai was too busy staring at the door. So was everyone else.
Samantha turned.
Charlie looked up.
Kai made a squeaky little noise in the back of his throat.
Maybe it had been Charlie who had made the noise.
The man’s hair didn’t have a strand out of place. The scruff across his jaw accented the sharpness of his features perfectly. His dark brown eyes twinkled from behind his glasses as he pushed them up with his forefinger, his gaze fixed on Charlie.
Charlie’s insides immediately turned into a gooey mess.
“That was very well argued,” said Henry Maddox. “I personally love the Song of Achilles. In fact, all of Madeline Miller’s work is excellent. Have you read Circe?”
“Mmhm,” Charlie squeaked.
“Good, good. It’s definitely important for us in the modern day to look at the classics from several lenses—from today, from then, and from as many moments of history in between as possible.”
“We can work out what has changed and what has stayed the same,” Charlie heard himself say. “The classics can help us make sense of the world, even now. I… I’m always surprised when I find something that speaks directly to me, even though it was written over a thousand years ago.”
He swallowed. Ducked his head. What the hell was he doing? The common room had fallen silent upon Henry Maddox’s entry. Charlie had been speaking in front of the entire society. And Henry fucking Maddox was smiling.
“What’s your name?”
“Charlie Spring. We… we met once. At a book signing in Canterbury about three years ago. You signed my copy of 10 Things I Hate About Plato.” Jesus, what the hell was he doing? “I don’t expect you to remember, you probably get loads of people saying that to you.”
Henry Maddox shrugged. “No. I don’t actually. Mine is a very niche market.” He turned to address the room as a whole. Every single student hung onto his every word. “Don’t mind me,” he said with a dashing smile. “I was just getting myself acquainted with the department. This place is huge. Forgive me if I’m late for lectures, I’ll probably have lost my way and ended up stranded in the river.”
The Classics Society tittered. Samantha rolled her eyes.
“It’s lovely to meet you all,” said Henry Maddox. “I expect I’ll be seeing some of you for my first Homer lecture on Monday? Yes?”
A few people gasped, including Ashkan and his friend Beth, who clutched each other in celebration. Charlie, meanwhile, was too stunned to acknowledge the little salute Henry Maddox sent his way before he ducked out of the room.
Silence descended on the students.
Until…
Charlie and Kai were swallowed up by a cacophony of “Oh my god, he is as hot as you said!” “Did you see the way he smiled?” “Those glasses!” “I don’t care I’m straight, he’s fit as fuck!” and “Why am I suddenly re-evaluating my entire life choices? Why didn’t I choose Classics instead of stupid History?”
“Oh. My. God!” Kai squealed, all but keeled over on the sofa. He grabbed Charlie’s arm and shook it. “You so impressed him and it was so badass! That was the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me!”
Finally blinking out of his own daze, Charlie laughed. “Don’t let Jacob hear you say that.”
“I won’t.” Kai frowned. “Wait, aren’t you taking the Homer module?”
“Yep.”
Kai sprawled back against the sofa, and devolved into yet more noises of incredulity. Like he couldn’t trust his body to hold him up properly now that Henry Maddox had graced them with his presence.
“Was that guy, like, famous?” Samantha actually seemed kind of worried.
Charlie stared at her.
Kai sat up. “What do you mean?!”
“He’s the best!”
“That’s good to know,” she said thoughtfully. “Since I chose Homer, too.”
“Nice,” said Charlie.
“Why didn’t I choose Homer?” Kai groaned. “Fuck’s sake…”
The phone in Charlie’s pocket buzzed. He took it out, confused—until he realised what the reminder was for. “Shit, I need to go.”
“What? Why? Where?”
“Job interview.”
“Already? How have you got your shit together so well? What are your secrets, Springy? Tell me!”
“Um… I have none. I’m fucking late.”
Charlie waved his phone at Kai, waved goodbye to Samantha—who waved back with all the enthusiasm of a lamp post—then strode from the common room.
Only as he hurried towards Baker Street did he remember to be nervous. But he had just met and spoken to and been a weirdo in front of Henry Maddox. He could talk to some random in a coffee shop and get himself a job, couldn’t he?
Although, he wasn’t sure rambling about the Song of Achilles would help prove he was good at making coffee and serving the populace.
The cafe was one of a small chain called Saint Espresso. The one on Baker Street was sleek and modern. It seemed kind of dark and gloomy from the outside, but on the inside, the space was brightened by a series of bulbs hanging from the ceiling in a rather pleasing formation.
He needn’t have worried.
A lady called Amina guided him to a table in the back corner, asked him all of about three questions, then hastily told him he’d got the job. She seemed rushed off her feet to be honest. Desperate for someone to help her.
Charlie left the building less than half an hour later with a tea and a croissant in hand.
“Well, that was easy,” he murmured to himself on the pavement outside.
And for the first time in days, it seemed, he found himself alone and untethered. The sun was shining pretty brightly for the end of September in England. He wandered down the road, happy to be alive. He took a quick selfie and posted it to his Instagram, something he rarely did nowadays. About two seconds later, it had one heart and several fire emojis below.
cfspring: do you have push notifications on?
nicholaszzzzz: yep
cfspring: sad
Without having planned it, Charlie found himself outside the British Museum. He sat on the wall and ate his croissant as he scrolled through Insta. He couldn’t believe he’d failed to check there before. But there it was in his feed—a reasonably well-framed shot of the Wilkins building with a gorgeously bound copy of the Iliad held in the foreground. Beneath Henry Maddox’s name was #newjob #newproject #newstart.
It was difficult not to kick his feet.
He couldn’t even fathom how it was going to be to meet him again—to be taught by him. He hadn’t even known Henry Maddox was qualified to teach. He was certainly knowledgeable enough, open-minded and free-thinking. Everything one could wish for in a professor.
Still feeling pretty pleased with the world, Charlie braved the queue and headed into the museum.
His feet took him where he wanted to go. It had been a few months since he’d last been there, and as ever, he was both equally annoyed that the Elgin Marbles were there, in London, accessible for free, and very very glad. He had stood there and studied them for far too many hours to count at this point. Most of the time, he was content to sit in their presence and think. There was something about the room which reminded him of the tangibility of his work—a reality he sometimes lost sight of within books.
A light buzz beside his hip made him take out his phone. He sank onto his usual bench, Phidias’ two and a half thousand year old work watching on.
“Look where I am,” said Charlie.
“Your favourite place.” He didn’t have to turn his phone for Nick to recognise the background. “You look so happy.”
Charlie shrugged. “I guess I am. I, um, got that job at the coffee shop, so I can now pay for things.”
“Yay!” Nick cheered. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Honestly, there’s no need—I think they were so desperate they would have hired any old random off the street.”
“I doubt that,” said Nick. “Once again, you forget how competent you are at literally everything.”
“Enough silly talk. Tell me about your day.”
“Well, rugby’s been great, and I’ve got my first shift at the gym in a bit.”
“Ooh! My sexy receptionist.”
“Pfft!”
The noise behind Nick, which had been reasonably bustling, turned suddenly much more raucous.
“Where are you?”
“At the pub.”
“Right.” Charlie sighed. “And I’m in a museum by myself. We live different lives, Nicholas.”
“That is not true.” A second head nudged into frame beside Nick’s. “You’re both sappy lovesick idiots stuck to their phones while they’re supposed to be socialising or looking at historic artefacts.”
“Hi, Jamal,” said Charlie.
“Charlie. Sexy as ever.”
“You, too, are a fine specimen of man.”
“You flatter me, you flatter me.”
Nick rolled his eyes as Charlie snorted. He couldn’t quite remember when his tradition to flirt so dramatically with Nick’s housemate began. It had been something about a rugby social and quite a lot of jelly shots.
Jamal was Nick’s Lena. Another bisexual rugby lad, but the poor guy was way less successful in the romance department, despite his valiant efforts.
“This year is your year, Jamal, I believe in you,” said Charlie. “Love always finds a way.”
“Even when he insists on flirting with my boyfriend,” said Nick.
“Don’t worry,” said Charlie. “I’ve seen your penis. Nothing’s going to deter me from seeing it again. And again and again and again.”
The comment had the desired effect. Nick’s face flushed bright red, and his mates laughed and wolf-whistled around him. They loved teasing Nick almost as much as Charlie did, and they loved Charlie ever the more because he could make Nick flustered in two seconds flat.
Only when he’d said goodbye and left them to their beer did he realise he hadn’t told Nick about Henry Maddox.
Oh well, that could wait until later. Nick was out with his friends, drinking the afternoon away before Friday night could become Saturday, and they entered their last weekend before classes started up again.
Besides, Charlie kind of wanted to keep the news to himself for a while longer at least. Just in case it had all been a very strange dream. He was fully expecting to wake up tomorrow with a completely unremarkable professor for the Homer module instead.
That night, however, when he was curled up in bed, an email notification interrupted his bed time scrolling. Enclosed was a list of all his professors for his course this year.
And there it was, in digital stone:
Greek Translations: Homer
Lecture, Mondays, 16:00-18:00
Prof. Henry Maddox