Archive of Our Own

From a young age, Jinshi understood he was a man of few talents and, thus, had to cultivate them as well as he could. If his greatest asset was his beauty, then he would sharpen it into a weapon that would pierce through the obstacles separating him from his greatest objective. Even if he couldn't reclaim it with pride, "Jinshi, the Eunuch" itself was perhaps his greatest triumph: his decent memory, painfully harnessed charm and unnatural good looks all tied into one persona. A carefully curated mask, impenetrable to most.

"Might I ask why the usually unflappable groundskeeper of my garden of flowers is in such a sour mood?" Came the question from a light, humorous voice.

Most being the keyword.

The pleasant smile on Jinshi's face didn't falter, yet the man in front of him chuckled merrily. Normally, Jinshi was an outstanding navigator of social interactions, capable of extricating himself from unfortunate meetings with ease. However, when it came to the man in front of him, Jinshi often found himself with his hands tied, for he held two positions that unarmed him entirely: not only was he the Emperor of the Nation, but also Jinshi's older brother.

"How could I be in a sour mood after spending such a splendid night with His Majesty?" Jinshi said, hoping the other man would take pity on him and allow the redirection.

Alas, he wasn't so lucky.

"The same way you have been in this state for the last few weeks, I suppose." The Emperor said, taking a sip of his wine.

"I apologize if my company is lacking today, You Majesty."

"Even in your melancholy, I would say you're still better company than most." The Emperor said. Then, his tone became more subdued, less mischievous: "Jesting aside, I have been worried about you, Zuigetsu."

Jinshi held back a sigh. Even in complete privacy, his brother often avoided any reference to his real identity whenever he had a meeting with the "Master of the Rear Palace". If he was willing to go as far as address him by his official name, the topic must have been in his mind for longer than Jinshi was comfortable with.

There was nobody more aware of Jinshi's melancholic constitution in the last few weeks than Jinshi himself. He worked through an uncomfortable haze, movements mechanical and smiles even more practiced than usual. When he arrived home to Suiren's inquisitive eyes, he ate little and prioritized staring at the ceiling more than any other activity.

A single event could be pinpointed as the catalyst for his horrible mood and, Jinshi was sure, the Emperor knew exactly what it was. As long as the topic wasn't touched upon, Jinshi would avoid it being brought up with the little vestige of energy he possessed.

"I hope my service hasn't been disappointing you, sir."

"No, the rear palace has been running smoothly as always, despite the many servants that have been let go. I fear that its master may be running himself ragged." A small smile grew on the Emperor's face, the earnestness of his former words giving away to his previous humorous condescension.

For a brief moment, Jinshi longed to wipe off that look from him face. Immediately after, he regretted the feeling. His brother wasn't at fault for his morosity and irritability, taking it out on him would be unfair. Still, ever since he responded to the Emperor's summons, only to be welcomed by a vaguely smug and cheery disposition, a growing resentment had been festering in his chest.

His Majesty has been taking Lady Ah Duo's departure very well. He thought bitterly.

Even understanding the political maneuvers that led to the former Pure Consort's dismissal, Jinshi had expected a stronger reaction from His Majesty to the event, at least in private. Instead, the Emperor simply set the topic aside, moving on as if nothing had happened.

Somehow, the indifferent attitude from one of the few people Jinshi thought would miss Lady  Ah Duo has much as he did made the organization of the Garnet Pavilion for the new Pure Consort feel lonelier than he had supposed it would. 

Between his mind chasing ghosts in the Garnet Pavilion and avoiding the painful sight of the Jade Pavilion at all costs, Jinshi would say melancholy was almost impossible to avoid. He felt frozen in place, watching the world around him move along while he collected dust in a corner.

"I assure you I am quite well, Your Majesty."

The Emperor hummed, looking quite unconvinced. Still, he took a long drink out of his wine cup and nodded once. Thankful for the reprieve, Jinshi felt the tension weighting on his shoulders ease and took a sip of wine himself.

"Even so, I do appreciate how well-managed the rear place has been through this crisis." Before Jinshi could respond with the usual humble routine, the Emperor continued: "Which is why I have prepared a gift for you."

Jinshi smiled placidly. "There's no need for that, You Majesty."

They both knew Jinshi needed no reward for his work in the rear palace. If anything, the work itself was his reward, something he desperately wagered on to avoid a life he was completely unsuited for. In his last five years managing the Emperor's garden of flowers, both had acted accordingly to this unspoken knowledge.

Why a gift all of sudden? Jinshi thought, uneasy at the surprise. As skilled as he was dealing with them, he couldn't say he was fond of the headache.

"I insist." The Emperor said. "If not from an Emperor to a trusted servant, then from a brother to another."

As if that's any better!

A gift from an Emperor to a subject was already complicated enough, but one from a member of the royal family to another was even more so. Never had one come without strings attached, an unattractive flaw to someone trying to disentangle himself from them. If he wasn't unwilling to give His Majesty more visual cues to pick apart, Jinshi might have ripped out a chunk of his own hair.

Taking a deep breathe, Jinshi forced his own heart to slow down. As loaded as the statement was, he was sure his brother had charitable intentions. Despite the clear threat Jinshi posed to the Emperor's future children's claim to the throne, his Majesty never treated him with hostility, allowing him liberties that might shame the royal family if ever found out by the court.

"This subject humbly accepts Your Majesty's generosity."

The Emperor's eyes softened slightly, a rare phenomenon easy to miss for someone who hadn't spent their childhood tugging on his robes to be carried around.

"You work yourself too hard, Zui. I fear you might never unwind." The Emperor's smile grew an edge Jinshi found familiar, yet couldn't quite place. "Today, I am dismissing you, so you can take your gift and have fun. Consider this an order."

His Majesty tone was light and humorous, but Jinshi's previously controlled apprehension returned in full force. Even so, his face didn't twitch and he leaned on his safest, most curated response: he smiled.

"May I ask what the gift is, Your Majesty?"

"You'll know soon enough, it's already waiting in your chambers for you." The Emperor said, leaning back against his ivory-bedecked couch. "You might want to hurry back home."

Jinshi, who felt cold sweat pooling on the nape of his neck, didn't agree. Yet, how could a man like him, clawing on the earth to keep himself tethered to the ground, defy heaven itself? Thus, he bowed and accepted the dismissal for what it was.

As he made his way back to his palace, Jinshi recalled where he had seen the familiar edge of his brother's earlier smile before.

"Even if you insist in this farce, don't forget your bloodline. Zui, if you want to enjoy any palace women or consort, it's your right to do so. Just avoid the High Consorts, it would cause more trouble than it's worth."

Although each of his steps felt like lead, Jinshi arrived home sooner than he thought he would. The appearance of the only place he felt fully safe was unchanged, no object out of place, no strange smell detected. However, the feeling of dread lodging itself in his chest only grew.

By the time he sat down for dinner, he could only stare blankly at the table. Soft-shell turtle. Oysters. An assortment of nuts. Even a delicate arrangement of chocolates at the end of the table, a sacrilege to Suiren's battle against his sweet tooth.

"Oh my, Young Master, you haven't touched anything? You must eat to keep up your strength." Suiren said, unusually chipper.

"I'm not very hungry today, Suiren."

Still, under her sharp eyes, Jinshi took some rice from his bowl. The grains stuck against his throat, yet he didn't reach for his still-full wine cup. Just from the smell he could tell how much sharper it was than his usual sweet preference.

Instead of tutting at his unwillingness to eat, Suiren only smiled.

"I will have the best pieces set aside for a small meal, then, and keep it warm. I'm sure you will work up an appetite later on."

The little food Jinshi had managed to swallow threatened to come back.

"You seem to be in a good mood today, Suiren." While he hoped he didn't sound accusatory, Suiren's sympathetic face announced his failure to do so.

"I received some good news today, that's all. While serving the Young Master is my pleasure, I have been looking forward to having more help around the house."

"Did you manage to find a new maidservant?" An almost impossible task, considering Suiren's draconian standards.

Suiren's smile grew wider.

"Something even better, I would say."

Jinshi felt a chill run down his spine. Unable to stomach even a single grain of rice anymore, he excused himself to his bathing chambers, dodging Suiren's offer to wash his hair. He spent more time trying to decide whether drowning himself inside his bath was feasible or not than washing himself, anyways. When he took the clothes Suiren set aside, he realized there was a only single, thin robe waiting for him. 

As much as he wanted to, Jinshi couldn't deny where his night was heading. It shouldn't be surprising, his wager with His Majesty had only spared him from an official night visit on borrowed time. Even out of the succession line, a prince would still be expected to entertain consorts and have children. For him to accomplish that, he would have obligatory nightly duties. 

Even so, the bitterness festering in his chest was refusing to be ignored. He thought his brother had at least a mild understanding of his goals and preferences, yet he still blindsides him this way? Did Gaoshun know? Was that the reason for his attendant's pleased mood the last few days?

While Gaoshun's compliance stung, it was to be expected, his loyalty had always laid on the Emperor's hands rather than Jinshi's. No, the worst part was Suiren's eager willingness to go along with these invasive prospects. 

Suiren was supposed to be my ally. A part of him whined, itching to stomp its feet, punch a wall and, humiliatingly enough, lay down and cry. 

(The last time Jinshi allowed himself to cry wasn't long ago. The memory, filled with warmth and the scent of bitter herbs, was a balm that barely soothed the overwhelming sense of betrayal in his chest.)

However, Jinshi may be lacking in many areas, but he knew when to pick his battles. The night would be unpleasant, yes, and he wasn't sure yet what could be done with the woman afterwards. His mind briefly riffled through the list of well-born widows and eligible young noblewomen the Emperor could have picked as his “instructor”. The first were much easier to deal with, the last not so much. 

No matter what, Jinshi wouldn't relinquish his goal to stay as far away of the throne as he could and was willing to play the long game, even if another piece introduced to it hindered his plans. 

Gathering his composure, Jinshi opened the doors of his chambers without ceremony. All his erratic thinking couldn't prepare him for the sight before him. 

There was a woman kneeling on the bed. She was, against all of Jinshi's bets, a courtesan, for no noblewomen would be dressed as she was. A bright yellow and orange sleeveless dress clung to her petite frame, scandalously bare arms covered by a gauzy shawl, her glossy hair carefully done up with red flowers and heavy make up battling against  her features. 

Jinshi barely recognized her. Probably wouldn't have at all, if he hadn't seen her dolled up before. A noise between a choke and a whine left his mouth before he could help himself. 

The woman, who had been staring submissively at the ground, finally looked up. Upon seeing Jinshi, the placid, almost hollow look in her eyes melted into a familiar assessing gaze. 

“Master Jinshi?” The apothecary said, tilting her head. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you look very different wearing make up?” Jinshi blurted out, instead of the, somehow, more embarrassing words on the tip of his tongue. 

“Often, sir.”

The flat look on her face, her searching eyes and the deadpan tone of her voice formed a familiar ensemble that sent an electrifying rush through Jinshi. He had spent weeks trying to convince himself, in the dead of the night, that the distance was intensifying a feeling that couldn't be that strong. He knew the girl for less than a year, after all, so how could he miss her so dearly?

The idea of her and the allure of something he couldn't have in any meaningful way had probably conflated together in his mind, encouraged by the melancholy that had felt almost inherent to him since childhood. Jinshi had told himself that at every opportunity, hoping that some day he would also believe it.

What a futile exercise, he realized. Not even the despair of missing her could compare to the thrill of having her in front of him, looking at him as if he was a bothersome stain in her fancy dress despite being perched on his bed.

Wait. On his bed?

"What the hell are you doing here?!" He asked, gesturing widely to the room.

Her eyes avoided his. "It's… part-time work."

"I thought you were an apothecary." Jinshi ran his hands through his damp, already loose hair.

She glared at him darkly. If he wasn't seconds away from heart failure, Jinshi might have basked in the sight.

"I am an apothecary." She spat out. Then, probably realizing how improper it was to talk to a noblemen as if he was the scum of the earth, she neutralized her voice again: "I have some debts to the brothel I work for and, since just making medicine wasn't cutting it, the Madam put me up to some other type of work."

Jinshi paled. "O-Other type of work?"

The girl shrugged lightly, sliding down from kneeling on top of her legs to actually sitting on the bed. The perfect posture of a subservient kneeling courtesan had gradually relaxed until it had been completely undone and Jinshi wondered if she realized she had done that.

"I haven't taken any customers myself." She said, still not meeting his eyes with her own. "This would be the first one."

"First one?! What costumer?!" Jinshi yelped, looking around the room frantically.

"I'm not sure yet, I was brought to this palace by this taciturn guy and Lady Suiren showed me to these chambers." As she spoke, her posture straightened again, head down. "Haven't you been sent to bring someone here, Master Jinshi?"

All at once, the realization hit Jinshi harder than any blow he had ever felt. A sick feeling rose from the pit of his stomach, the room colder than it had been just a second ago.

Her first costumer. It wasn't forbidden for a prince to have his first night visit with a courtesan, simply unusual. Some encouraged it, even, as it made for a better learning experience. Gaoshun had to have known where the apothecary worked and, if he didn't, certainly had the means to find out and forward it directly to the Emperor. Upon finding her in a moment of vulnerability, forced into prostitution, they hadn't hesitated to wrap up her and deliver her directly to Jinshi.

"Today, I am dismissing you, so you can take your gift and have fun." The Emperor had said, as if he hadn't reversed Jinshi's hardest decision in years and forced the apothecary right where he didn't want her: unwillingly close to him.

Jinshi wished he could end this farce, reassure her no man would be touching her this night, maybe even offer to buy her out of her debts. Anything to remove the resigned look from her usually unflappable face. And he would, if he didn't recall a few damning words:

"Consider this an order."

His Majesty might have said it with lightheartedness, but an order from the Emperor was an order from the heavens itself and could be called upon at any moment. Jinshi was sure that if he didn't thoroughly consummate what his brother expected him to this night, the consequences wouldn't just affect only him, but also the apothecary.

"These are my chambers." Jinshi said pointedly, hoping she would understand what he was trying to say.

If he had to be more direct and call himself her "client", Jinshi feared the distance between them would widen too much for him to ever be able to cross it. Thankfully, the woman in question was quick to the uptake, eyes widening slightly before they narrowed thoughtfully once again.

The apothecary leaned her chin on her hand, gaze assessing Jinshi from head to toe, a silent evaluation he desperately hoped to pass. She wasn't swayed by his beauty, seemed more disgusted by his mannerism than anything, so whatever she was looking for in the moment was something Jinshi couldn't be sure of. Finally, she dropped a fist on her open palm and nodded to herself.

"I guess even men like this…" She mumbled.

Jinshi scowled. "Men like what?"

"I'm not sure what you mean by that, Master Jinshi." The girl spoke as if she previously hadn't said anything at all, strangely cheery.

Suddenly, the apothecary threw herself out of the bed and onto her feet. Then, she started to approach him.

Jinshi had been in such a position many times. Before Suiren and Gaoshun had fully finalized the security plans for his own palace, Jinshi had often found himself cornered in his own room by various scantily-clad women. This time, the sight of a woman making her way towards him in such a manner also inspired a shiver down his spine, but for a completely different reason.

The gaze of women as they stalked him like prey was predicable: a mix of lust and infatuation, directed at his beauty or status. Never at him, as no woman knew him enough for that. The apothecary's eyes didn't show either of those feelings, however: she didn't stare at like a woman longing for a lover, but as a scientist observing their lab rat.

When she came close enough to touch, something she would usually never do willingly, Jinshi caught her wrist, halting her hand's downward trajectory.

"What do you think you're doing?" He snapped.

"My job, sir." The apothecary said, sparkling eyes at odds with her former somber countenance.

Jinshi felt warmth climbing the back of his neck. "J-Just like that? Shouldn't we start slowly?"

She sent him an attempt at a sympathetic look, overshadowed by her twitching lips struggling against her excited smile.

"There's no need to be nervous, sir. I'm sure your naked body is perfectly serviceable." The apothecary said with barely contained enthusiasm.

"W-When was that ever in question?!"

"Every eunuch has similar scarring, Master Jinshi." She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I'm quite curious about how it looks like so many years after the healing period."

Jinshi' heart dropped to the bottom of his stomach. Even caught up in his own musings, how could he have forgotten the very important detail that the apothecary had only known him as Jinshi, the eunuch, and not as a full-bodied man?

"Wait, apothecary, let's talk about it first!" Jinshi released her wrist, taking her by the shoulders and setting a good amount of distance between them as

"I would be happy to listen to any of your preferences, sir." The girl recited flatly, as if reading an script. Her hands were still trying to reach for his sash, like a cat batting at a piece of string held by its owner.

"That's not what I meant!"

"If you don't have any preferences, we can experiment."

"Can you listen to me for once?!"

As he tried to lightly shake her shoulders to snap her out of her medical daze induced by the potential sight of scarring, Jinshi only realized he had a faulty grip when his hands started to slide across the soft skin of her shoulders. Never one to waste an opportunity, the girl slipped out from under his hands, taking a rapid step forward.

She must not have accounted for the ease of her escape, however, stumbling rather than walking towards him and missing his sash.

Fortunately, she avoided falling face-first on him by finding a steady surface to grab.

Unfortunately, that surface happened to be his crotch.

Squeeze. Intense heat rushed to his cheeks so rapidly that Jinshi feared he would faint

Squeeze. Uncomfortably, his face wasn't the only place in his body sporting a pooling warmth.

Squeeze. Hey now, wasn't that overdoing it a little?!

Both stood frozen in place, breaths held in unison. The quiet room, previously filled with their voices, was now quickly swarmed by noises from the heavily guarded garden outside Jinshi's widow: an assortment of crickets and the very, very loud croak of a frog.

After a moment of staring at each other, Maomao suddenly stood straight and took two steps away from him. Then, she held her hands together in front of her and bowed.

"I apologize, sir." As she started with the most sensible words that had come out of her mouth that night, Jinshi felt a sliver of hope that they would be able to have a productive conversation.

It was, of course, quickly dashed with her next words:

"It appears I might have crushed a frog." The sentence was so absurd and incompatible with the context that Jinshi wondered for a second if it he had heard her wrong.

"A… frog?"

"Yes, didn't your hear it croaking around the room? It's a little annoying, if I may say so."

Realizing what she was trying to do, Jinshi's face turned red.

"That was not a frog."

"Of course it was, Master Jinshi."

"How would a frog even get in here?"

"Probably through the window."

Jinshi turned to look at the pointedly closed window and tried to gesture to it, but as he did, he realized the apothecary's attention wasn't on him at all. Instead, she was eyeing the door the same way she eyed a special bottle of snake wine. He winced, as much as he wasn't thrilled to be having this conversation under these circumstances, an attempted scape would only escalate the situation.

"A frog would be smaller, wouldn't it?" He said, half to distract her and half to defend his pride.

She shot him a flat look. "There are plenty of decent-sized frogs around the Capital this time of the year."

D-Decent—

As if to rub salt in the wound, she deliberately started to forcefully wipe her hand in the skirts of her dress.

"Now, why are you doing that?" He huffed, crossing his arms.

"Frogs are gross and slimy, sir. I just needed to clean my hands."

S-Slimy—

Jinshi glared darkly at her and she didn't back down, mirroring his stare. A minute into their stand-off, he took a deep breath and gathered himself. He couldn't let her attempts at distracting him work, no matter how infuriating she might be.

"Very well." He grumbled. "If you want to keep pretending, I'll have to be direct— No, don't do that!"

Jinshi lunged towards her, hands locking around her hands and halting their path towards her ears. Startled, the apothecary looked at him with wide eyes, looking more like a prey animal caught in a wolf's fangs than the usual image of a disinterested outdoors cat she portrayed.

"Now, listen to me, you! This wasn't how I wanted to tell you any of this!" Frustration at his lack of control over the situation threatened to bubble over, his usual composure hanging by a thread. "But my brother forced my hand by setting this up. Managing his garden of flowers must not have been enough, he wanted me to experience a flower on my own."

If the apothecary had stood still before, now she was a perfect statue. Jinshi wondered what would happen if he let her go: would she stay in place, too shocked to move, or would she bolt towards the door?

Even so, she didn't deserve his rough treatment. Slowly, Jinshi loosened his hold in her hands until they rested limply in his. His thumbs worked over the back of her hand, offering her an apologetic caress. She stared at him blankly for a moment, then, ever so slightly, her shoulders slumped.

"Why would you want an unimportant servant girl to know this at all, Master Jinshi?"

Master Jinshi, not "Your Highness". Elation he had never associated with his alternate identity blossomed inside his heart.

"This 'unimportant servant girl' is the most clever woman I've ever met." Not only was that the truth, but it was also to her utmost merit, as Jinshi was raised around the smartest women in Li. "I'm surprised you hadn't figured it out yet."

She gave him another searching look, lips pursed. Finally, she sighed.

"You look older than your age, sir."

Muscles loosening at last, Jinshi lightly squeezed her hands before letting them go and she immediately linked them in front of her.

"So this was His Majesty's idea." The weight of that statement seemed to wash over the girl, whose countenance turned as somber as it had been when he had arrived.

"We don't have to go through with this, I can try to tell my brother I wasn't able to perform due to the suppressive concoction I take."

The Emperor wouldn't be happy and Jinshi would likely be punished with no more access to the suppressant and an official night visit, but if he could at least spare the apothecary…

Predictably, the girl perked up: "A concoction? May I see it, sir?"

Jinshi handed her the medicine he usually kept by his bedside table and observed the way her eyes sparkled as she examined it. He pouted, what would he have to do to get her to direct such a look his way? Back when she thought he was hiding a surgical scar, she had shown much more interest in his body than she ever had before.

Maybe if I had an actual scar…

He was snapped out of his musings by the sound of her clicking her tongue.

"This a mixture based on sweet potato starch. While the ingredients are of good quality and work to decrease your libido, it wouldn't be enough to prevent a healthy man your age from sexual activity." The apothecary said, closing the satchel and setting it down.

Jinshi sat on the edge of his bed, leaning his elbows against his knees and dropping his head on his hands. Try as he might, he couldn't think of a way to dismiss Maomao without resulting on her being punished along with him or being sent his way again under strict orders to give a "better performance".

"I'm sorry, apothecary." Jinshi said against his hands.

He felt the mattress of the bed dip beside him, the smell of sweet incense with an undertone of bitter herbs that couldn't be hidden wafting close to him.

"I had always known taking clients was more likely to happen than not." She said, voice as placid as ever. "I'm glad it's Master Jinshi, in a way."

His head snapped up, eyes finding hers.

"It could be worse."

The apothecary's words could be seen as insulting to a man's pride, but Jinshi only had to think back to the resigned look on her face when he first entered the room to understand her ideal client was none at all. This was the kindest compliment she could give to a man paying to use her body and Jinshi would take it as it was.

"I have never done it before." He said, face flushing. "So I'll follow your lead."

"I'll do my best, sir."

The polite address made his blood curl inside his veins. He wished he could give her a name for her to do whatever she wanted with, cuss violently or call lovingly. Yet, both names he had didn't belong to him, one in the hands of the Mandate of Heaven and the other in the clutches of the rear palace. Did she feel similarly bothered, about to give herself to a man who called her by the name of her profession or by "hey, you"?

No. Many aspects may be outside of Jinshi' hands, but not this. He wouldn't let her virginity be taken by a man who couldn't even call out her name. While the distance between them seemed immensurable, he wouldn't let it grow even more. He would bridge it as much as he could, despite not deserving it.

Steeling himself, Jinshi spoke:

"Maomao." He saw her dark eyes widen, lips parting slightly. "I'll do right by you, I promise."

Jinshi had never felt so intensely before, had even thought himself incapable of it for the longest time. He had ran from the idea of companions, consorts, bedwarmers, all those prospects part of a life he was desperately hiding from. Yet, with the girl in from of him, with Maomao, he could finally see the appeal his brother, his mother and all his close attendants had harped on about.

Simply using her body to satisfy his base desires was out of question. Whatever happened, he would make sure she didn't leave his rooms just another despoiled courtesan, ready to be sold again to anyone willing to pay. He would pay off he debts and set her free and, if by chance she wished to stay, they could…

An image of Maomao draped in red silks flashed though his mind, sudden lightheadedness taking over him.

The real Maomao, after a brief moment of surprise, regained her composure and nodded at him. She didn't seem very convinced of his honesty, but Jinshi wasn't so easily cowed. If Maomao didn't have faith in his words, he would show his heart through actions.

"Shall we begin, Master Jinshi?"

Steeling himself, he nodded. Jinshi was unsure of what exactly he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't Maomao unceremoniously climbing on his lap and kissing him.

He was well aware of of the mechanics of sexual acts, had listened to the Emperor and a favored consort performing it more than enough times. Jinshi had always believed there was a certain exaggeration to it, the noises, the length, the supposed aftermath relaxation. It couldn't be that good, could it? Whenever he had explored his own body when he first started to leave childhood, it had been nothing spectacular.

Now, he understood that there many things he didn't know yet. The weight of her on his lap, the warmth of her mouth, her taste. Heavens, her taste, a mix of unsweetened tea and something so uniquely hers that Jinshi never stood a chance. Before he could make sense these new sensations, his body spammed lightly and he separated his lips from hers, panting.

"Oh." Maomao said placidly, her rouge smeared beyond her lips. "This really is your first time."

Jinshi glared. "Did you think I was lying?"

"Well, it's better to get a few ejaculations out before the actual penetration, so it doesn't end too quickly." She paused, snapping her fingers. "Actually, ending it quickly might not be a bad option, Master—"

Ego howling like a wounded dog, Jinshi grabbed the back of her neck firmly and crashed his mouth to hers. Unlike Maomao's movements, his didn't hold much finesse, yet the same heady feeling took over him as he explored her mouth with his tongue. Only when he couldn't hold his breath anymore did Jinshi release her mouth, the sight in front of him worth the sacrifice.

Maomao's rouge was now a complete mess, lips even redder than before. There was a lovely flush spreading over her skin, up to her cheeks and down her neck to the top of her chest. Her eyes were slightly less focused, pupils dilated. Looking straight into his eyes, she licked the mess he made out of her mouth.

"If I am to be your instructor, sir, I think some advice might be helpful. Next time, try using less teeth." With those words, she dominated his mouth once again with hers.

They stayed in this game for a while, trying to take over the other as they kissed. Maomao's skills far surpassed him, but his enthusiasm seemed to throw her off balance. Giving his hands freedom to explore her body also distracted her plenty, any caress over her waist or her spine leading to her squirming on his lap.

As good as it felt, the stickiness in his pants was starting to become more troublesome than not. Yet, before he could take off his robes, he had to see to something else first.

"Maomao." He murmured, tugging at the top of her dress. "Can I?"

She looked off to the side. "I don't need to take off my dress to achieve penetration, sir."

"It's not about that, I just want to see you." He pleaded.

If she truly didn't want to, he wouldn't push, but if this might be the last time he gets to hold her, could he be faulted for wanting the full experience?

Maomao didn't answer him, simply getting to her feet. Jinshi didn't have time to mourn her presence on his lap before she started undoing the sashes of her dress, dropping all of it at once on the floor. All of her petite body bared to him, she rested her hands on her hips and tilted her chin defiantly at him.

"As you may have noticed, there's nothing to see, sir."

Silently, Jinshi got up and made his way towards her. She didn't move, stubborn gaze slowly turning quizzical. When he reached her, Jinshi picked her up and threw her down on the middle of the bed. Ignoring Maomao's squeak, he climbed and latched his mouth on her neck.

Jinshi had seen many naked women in his life, the majority of them unwillingly so, but none of them had lit the fire inside him as the small frame in front of him had. While there were few curves to speak of, her body too thin to sustain them, Jinshi found that it didn't stifle his desire in the slightest. The dip between her thighs, her small waist and the shape of her breasts would haunt him for the rest of his days.

It was as if a wild, unrecognizable animal had been unleashed inside him, one that only hungered for this woman's body.

"Wait, sir." Maomao panted. "You can't leave marks, the Madam hates it when the clients—"

Her words were cut off by a yelp of pain. Jinshi bit down hard on her neck, growling against her skin. Selfishly, he had hoped she would set aside the circumstances that brought them together to enjoy being touched. Was that truly so beyond her? What would take for this girl to feel even half of what he did? Must she speak of clients and courtesans while he poured his affection on her?

"What are you? A dog?" The glare she aimed at him, framed by flushed cheeks and bare skin, made her look like a bullied maiden, lacking its usual bite.

Regardless of her complaints, her head remained titled, giving him full access to her neck, which Jinshi took advantage of with enthusiasm. He made his way down her body, only pausing to appreciate the brown of her peaked nipples before he palmed her breasts, committing their weight to memory.

Not sparing a listening ear to Maomao's protests, Jinshi turned all his attention to lavishing her tits with his tongue. He explored hungrily, listening to her trying to stifle moans and sighs as he sucked on a nipple while rolling the other between his fingers.

Each different touch brought out delightful noises out of her that Jinshi wouldn't have been able to imagine accurately even in his loneliest nights with his hands down his pants. Sometimes Maomao shifted strangely, yet she still arched against his mouth and fingers. Her moans grew quieter, muffled, her trembling body enough to tell him what he needed to know.

Only when plenty of red marks decorated her small breasts was Jinshi satisfied enough to move away. Mournfully popping a hard, brown nipple out of his mouth, he gave it a a goodbye nip and looked down. Only once he painfully disentangled himself form her bosom did he realized what Maomao's strange shifting had been about.

While one of her hands was predictably over her mouth, the other was between her legs. Jinshi watched in awe as her small fingers sunk inside her cunt, coming out shiny with slick.

"I… needed to be ready for penetration, sir." She said, dropping the hand over her mouth to rest around her neck.

"Yes, of course." Jinshi agreed, moving to his knees. From this angle, he got an even better vision of Maomao fucking herself with her fingers, whole body flushed pink.

"It's just easier."

"Surely." He said absentmindedly, licking his lips.

As he spoke, he dropped his outer robes, undressing as he enjoyed the most beautiful show he had ever been subjected to. He didn't miss how Maomao's eyes followed his movements, drinking in the sight of his musculature and bare skin. Her interest was a cooling balm on his pride, hurt by her continued digs at his masculinity.

When he finally dropped his pants, however, she gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth again.

"Why, Maomao, I thought it was only a 'decent-sized frog'?"

"A very slimy one at that, sir." Maomao alternated between glaring at him and at his dick, already shiny with precum.

She completely removed her fingers her fingers from her cunt, spreading her legs wider, and beckoned him without any particular attempt at seduction. Unable to resist the call of such a temptress, he moved on top of her. This close, staring straight into her eyes, Jinshi felt his heart skip a beat.

With Maomao's hand guiding him into the correct position, Jinshi finally entered her. Her cunt, warm and tight, was nothing short of perfection. Even so, the sensation could barely compare to the happiness of experiencing this with the only woman he had ever… A stupid grin surely on his face, Jinshi squeezed his eyes shut to avoid releasing just from entering her.

When he opened his eyes again, however, he was faced with the harsh reality.

Maomao also had her eyes closed, but her expression was completely different from her embarrassed face as he sucked on her tits or the relaxed one as she fucked herself on her fingers. Mouth tight, eyebrows knit together, she seemed to be simply in pain.

Instantly, Jinshi felt like a fool. When did he stop prioritizing Maomao's feelings over his own?

Hadn't he released her from her duties due to his refusal to treat her as the convenient pawn she was supposed to be? Not a prized toy to be kept from prying eyes, but a person with her own needs and desires? Did his intentions even matter, in the end, if he was still the one pinning her down under him, using her body for his own pleasure? Did her acceptance mean anything, if she couldn't truly refuse him?

"Maomao, is it too painful?" He asked, cupping her face with one of his hands and caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Her dark, teary eyes opened to look straight at him.

"It's bearable, sir." She said, a slight tremble in her usual monotone voice.

"I can pull out."

"No, sir, just give me a moment. It will pass." Maomao closed her eyes again, dropping her head further into the pillow.

As willing to respect her wishes as he was, Jinshi just couldn't hold still as she suffered so visibly. Recollecting her most delightful reactions from early, he started to kiss the side of her neck, a hand moving to play with her tits once again. Slowly, he felt Maomao's body relax against him, her hands moving from the bedding to tentatively holding his shoulders.

His cock held in her warm cunt, hand pinching her nipple and mouth leaving another mark on her collarbone, Jinshi was in the guiltiest heaven of his existence.

"Master Jinshi." Maomao said after a while. "You can move."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, we can't stay like this the whole night, sir."

While Jinshi digressed, experience told him arguing with Maomao would be fruitless. Trying to be careful, he pulled out slightly and thrust inside her, wincing as he used more force than he had planned. A loud groan left Maomao's mouth and he immediately stilled.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, sir, you can keep going." She panted.

"Are you sure? I can—"

Instead of answering him verbally, she locked her small legs around him and grinded up against his cock. Composure dissolving, Jinshi's hips snapped against hers, sinking his dick deep inside her cunt. Hand on her mouth again, Maomao's moans were barely muffled as Jinshi thrust inside of her.

Once again, he felt like an unchained beast, unable to control his body as he moved inside the girl under him. He barely recognized himself, the noises coming out of him as he pumped inside her cunt foreign even to his ears, absolutely no rhythm nor technique. The heat of her body under his, sweaty skin against his was overwhelming, taking over all his senses until he couldn't formulate a full thought.

He had half a mind to move back slightly and watch as her glistening cunt took his cock, opening up for the first man to ever touch her and, if she would have him, the very last one. Yet, how could he move away from her warmth, low gasps and the hand grasping his shoulder like a lifeline? So Jinshi just pulled her even closer, thrusting clumsily and desperately inside her.

Maomao. Maomao. Maomao—

The hand on his shoulder moved to his mouth, weakly slapping against it. Face red and mouth open, Jinshi stared at her.

"Stop talking!" Maomao groaned, eyes squeezed shut.

Belatedly, Jinshi realized he had been repeating her name out aloud. However, he couldn't find it in himself to care much.

"Maomao." He said against her hand, causing her to shiver.

"Stop." She said weakly.

Still, that was one wish of hers he couldn't fulfill.

"Maomao." Jinshi repeated, using his own hand to take hers off his mouth.

Still, he didn't move it away from his lips, kissing it instead. She shivered, open-mouthed, small moans escaping her lips every time he drove into her.

"Maomao."

This time, she opened her eyes again, a look he couldn't quite place in them.

"Master Jinshi." She responded in a breathy moan.

That proved to be his undoing. Unable to bear it any longer, Jinshi released an embarrassingly loud whimper and thrust desperately into her a few more times before tucking himself deep inside her cunt and coming inside her. Through it, Maomao sighed and moaned, clenching around his cock.

Breathing heavily, Jinshi collapsed on the bed, narrowly missing the still trembling Maomao. After settling down on bed, he carefully gathered Maomao in his arms and tucked her against his side. At first, her body went rigid, then slowly relaxed again, head leaning comfortably against his chest.

Traitorously, Jinshi's slowing heartbeat picked up again. Maomao, who either thought he was still coming down from his high or didn't want to deal with it, didn't comment at all.

"Hey." He started, voice low. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, sir."

"Are you sure? You're not in any pain?"

"No, sir."

As this was a girl who relished in the pain of poisonous convulsions, Jinshi didn't really believe her. Yet, without any proof otherwise, he didn't push.

"Was it—" His cooling face heated up again. "— good?"

Maomao hummed thoughtfully, hand coming up to pinch her chin between her thumb and index finger.

"It wasn't… bad."

His pride, which had been gently healing in the face of her pleasure, deflated once again. Yet, Maomao wasn't done talking.

"My sisters always said pain was inevitable during a woman's first time having intercourse. A courtesan should just hope the client isn't a cruel one, who would relish in her pain and aim to further it."

Her face settled further on his chest.

"You aren't a cruel man, Master Jinshi."

He felt as if his breath had been knocked out of his chest.

"How about if I bought you out?" Jinshi blurted out. When her eyes locked on his, he hurried to make himself clear: "Not for this! For work! Your former service, even."

If he could have her around him, out of reach of any scummy man that might lay his hands one her, it would be ideal. He needed to buy time to convince the Emperor of the plans brewing in his mind.

A prince's first consort couldn't be a low-born girl from the pleasure district, much a he wished otherwise. But if he helped any of His Majesty's future heirs to survive past infant-hood, if he could ask for a favor or two afterwards… Even a trusted noble family to claim Maomao as theirs would be enough.

Jinshi refused to have anyone else by his side. If he was to take a consort, it would be only her, no concessions made.

"Huh? That wouldn't be half bad, working on the rear palace again."

"I thought you quit working there because you hated it."

Maomao looked at him as if he expressed his wishes to become a real eunuch.

"When did I ever say such a thing?"

Jinshi frantically went through their conversation that day and, eventually, had to admit she never said anything like that directly. Still, she also never said anything hinting towards the other end! Could he be faulted for misunderstanding her cryptic intentions?

"Anyone ever tell you you're a woman of few words? Way too few?"

"Often, sir."

Rolling his eyes, Jinshi sneaked a kiss on top of her head before extricating himself from her. As much as he wished he could cuddle with her for hours, he was feeling pretty parched and Maomao, who was much smaller than him, was no doubt feeling similarly. He moved close to the pitcher of water on the table, beside some snacks like fruits and nuts, pouring a cup for the woman in his (!) bed.

"Sir, may I have some of that water?" Just as Jinshi was about to agree, Maomao continued: "I haven't drank water all day, it's the Verdigris House's protocol for a courtesan's first time."

"… What?"

"Could I also have some of those dates by the table? I haven't eaten in three days, either." Then, she grumbled: "Pretty sure that old bat loved an excuse to not feed me."

"What?!"

Jinshi dropped the glass of water in his hand, barely grabbing a sheet to hold around his waist as he stumbled outside the room. The small meal Suiren set aside, along with the most hydrating drink she could prepare, was his priority at the moment!

Inside the room, Maomao stared mournfully at the spilled cup of water.

The next day, a new maidservant was added to the Rear Palace Master's household. A feat never seen before, given the head maidservant's strict criteria. Any curious whispers about whether there was something more were hushed as the members of the outer court took in her gangly frame, freckled face and plain features.

A certain man with a monocle wasn't very happy to learn about that, but that's neither here nor there.