Archive of Our Own

I stopped by Green Hills, not expecting much from the coffee options. I was pleasantly surprised with how clean this little shop is. The coffee was perfectly done as well, with an intriguing goat milk addition. My one complaint is that the barista looked like a kicked puppy the entire time. Furthermore, he drew a picture of different man on my coffee, no one that I recognize. Then the barista completely ignored me as he sobbed into a paper towel. I would recommend hiring more attentive staff? Or maybe this is just part of the Green Hills small town charm.

WHY do we still have this man here? Can't we run him out of town?? He literally was working for the fed drone operator who stormed into our town all to kidnap one of our children. Or murder, I'm still not sure...but that's besides the point! Agent Stone (IT'S LITERALLY IN THE NAME THAT HE'S A FED) simply has the funds to open a strange shop in the middle of our town and you sheeple are giving him money because, what, it's the only good coffee in town? THAT'S NO EXCUSE!!! YOU VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET!

While I see the point the previous reviewer left, I'd like to humbly add my own points. Mr. Stone was clearly traumatized by Doctor Robotnik, which is why he keeps drawing the man in the coffee foam. This poor, sad man is just one of many people in this town affected by Robotnik. I sympathize with him, since he's so clearly hurt. I was watching how the two interacted and Stone was clearly terrified of Robotnik. Can you imagine what Robotnik was doing to him behind closed doors? Are you really going to look that man in those big, wet, brown eyes and tell him he's just as bad as Robotnik? Shame on you. The coffee is delicious. I just quickly stir the face of Robotnik away when Stone isn't looking. It seems the decent thing to do.

why is he here, and also he needs to get over robotnik

He's never going to BE over Robotnik because they're STILL IN LOVE. The feds do this ON PURPOSE where they put couples on missions together since they're good together. Stone is just as sinister to Robotnik and none of you will admit the truth! Stop treating Stone like a snowflake and treat him like he is: a freak who keeps drawing MEN in my coffee!!

Can someone tell me how to change my Google reviews username

Great donuts!! I think Stone really misses Robotnik. He keeps drawing Robotnik on my napkins (since I don't get coffee there, just the donuts :) those are good)...though I saw him experimenting with frosting for next time. Do not worry, people of Green Hills! I'll keep an eye on Stone in case he ever desides to carry out Robotnik's plans, but I think he's harmless for now.

I don't see why people are implying that Mr. Stone, a fine man of our community, could possibly be infatuated with Robotnik rather than traumatized by him. I myself take no issue with the homosexuality of the idea (even in my age I can tell Stone is afflicted in that direction), I just think Stone deserves a much better man. That sweet barista has nothing in common with Robotnik! He deserves a man who will treat him right, perhaps a similarly soft-eyed baker man. I shudder to think of what more Robotnik could've done to Stone. Perhaps Robotnik twisted Stone's feelings to manipulate him! I can see it so clearly. Somewhere in the past, in a government lab, Robotnik took one look at the naive Mr. Stone and knew he could have a loyal companion, all by toying with Stone's heart. Can't you imagine it? Robotnik taking Stone's hand and telling Stone, with pure conviction, how they will rule the world together. Stone would look away, his pure kind heart aching at the idea. But he is just a man, and when he looks at Robotnik's mustache he is overcome with desire....... read more (1023 words)

what did I just read

Don't worry, folks. We have been keeping an eye on Stone, whatever his plan is. I don't know if you remember the state of the coffee before Stone took over, but it wasn't great. The coffee was just as burnt out as the employees! I, for one, feel much better about Stone keeping himself occupied by providing fresh coffee for our community, rather than being out in the world causing mischief. All this speculation on if Stone and Robotnik is irrelevant, since there's no way Robotnik is coming back.

So, uh...care to change your review, Tom?

I stand by my review!! The coffee WAS better. The other stuff...well. We, uh, all saw that Stone was reunited with Robotnik in the end.

I told you. it literally took them Stone begging front of the whole town for Robotnik to take him on the mecha robot for you all to be convinced. Oh, are you going to tell me they were just good friends? You all are heteronormative and agents of the government. Whatever. I just hope someone takes over this location who ISN'T a fed government worker.

OK, since the coffee options are null in this town, and this google reviews page gets about 100x the interaction as the town's Facebook page (for some reason) I'm here to announce that the Mean Bean cafe is going under temporary ownership of Officer Wade Whipple, who promises to keep fresh donuts in the display case at all times. Thank you for your patience everyone!

godDAMMIT