Chapter Text
--Darry Curtis--
During all of the months Darry was gone, the first thought on his mind was always home. During lights out, he’d stare at the ceiling and wonder what everyone else was up to. Was Two-Bit at a party? Was Paul at football practice? Were his parents eating dinner?
The first day home felt like a dream, like he’d wake up any minute to a whistle and a drill sergeant hollering about who knows what. He was content to be happy with everyone, and chose to shove down the questions he had. He knew things must happened during his absence, but he didn’t want to bring it up right away. He needed things to be normal for a bit.
Darry sat on the edge of his bed one night, hands wringing together nervously. Most importantly, he needed to talk to Sodapop about the money. Soda hadn’t written to Darry a lot while he was gone, which left a gap between the two of them in his return. As much as Darry would prefer to just upright ask his brother what was going on, he knew Sodapop wouldn’t respond well to that course of action. Soda never reacted well to Darry’s direct nature. So instead, Darry sat on his bed, and tried to come up with a plan. He kept getting distracted by how quiet it was. It was never this quiet when he was away at camp.
“Darry?”
Darry jumped off his bed, and sighed when he saw Ponyboy standing in the doorway. “Jesus, Pony, it’s one o’clock in the morning.” He said exasperated as he sat back down.
“I’m sorry.” Pony said, shifting his weight anxiously.
“It’s fine.” Darry said tiredly, rubbing his temple. He patted the grey comforter beside him. “Sit down, bub.”
Pony tiptoed across the wood floor, and slowly sat down. “What d’ya need?” Darry prompted.
“Nothing, it’s just…” Ponyboy began, hesitating. He looked down at his feet, and Darry put a hand on his shoulder when his bottom lip trembled. “I missed you so much.” He said softly, throwing his face into Darry’s chest as he started to cry.
“It’s alright, Pony. I’m home now.” Darry said softly, holding the back of his neck.
“But you’re gonna leave again!” Pony wept, voice muffled against Darry’s shirt.
He peered into the hallway nervously, hoping they didn’t wake anyone up. Darry tried to comprehend all the different emotions cluttered in his mind. None of them seemed to register, and that left his body frozen in surprise. He’d never seen Ponyboy like this before; he knew he was sensitive, but this the kind of reaction he expected from Sodapop. He looked down at his shaking little brother, and couldn’t come up with anything to say to fix this.
“I’m sorry, Pony.”
After a long minute, Ponyboy took a long, shuddering breath, and pulled away. He wiped his face in his elbow, and within a second, the moment was over. He didn’t say anything else, but didn’t make any moves to leave.
“I heard you had a good season with soccer, huh?” Darry asked randomly, just to be saying something. Pony studied him with scrunched eyebrows for a few seconds, a surprised laugh escaping him after.
“It was alright.” He said, smiling.
“Y’know, you’d probably get a kick outta track. You’re a good runner. I remember some of the guys from football doin’ that in the spring.”
“That’s funny, I was already thinking about it.” Pony smiled, sniffling.
Darry hummed, looking back out at the hallway. “Is everyone else asleep?”
“I think so. Soda is, and I’m sure mom and dad are. Johnny’s on the couch, so I’m not sure about him.” He said, following Darry’s gaze out the door. “Do you know what’s wrong with Soda?”
“Glory, I was hoping to ask you.” Darry chuckled, but Ponyboy’s expression remained troubled. “You really don’t know? He tells you everything.”
“It’s been different since you’ve been gone.” He said sadly, dangling his feet from the edge of the bed. “I just want things to be normal again, Darrel” He said meekly, refusing to meet his eyes.
What am I supposed to say to that? Darry wondered uselessly.
“Maybe you outta get some sleep, kiddo.” He said finally. He saw disappointment in Ponyboy’s eyes, but he pushed down the guilt.
“M’kay.” He muttered, standing up and making his way out of the room.
“Good night.” Darry called out behind him.
“Night.”
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“I’m sorry, Dar, but we ain’t talkin’ about this right now.”
Darry exhaled impatiently, staring at Sodapop in frustration. It had been two weeks, and this was Darry’s third attempt to broach the topic of the money. Three times, Soda shut him down instantly. This time, Darry cornered him in the kitchen, and he didn’t plan to give up so easily. Pony was running errands with their mother, and their dad was off at work.
“Well then, you’re gonna hafta tell me when we will. I’m leaving in two weeks, Sodapop, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Believe me, I ain’t forgotten.” He growled, and Darry groaned internally. Ever since Darry got home, he watched Soda’s growing hostility towards every minor inconvenience, and judging by the lack of reactions from everybody else, this wasn’t something new.
“It sure seems like ya have. This is important, Soda!” He said, raising his voice for the first time since his return. Sodapop just glared at him, and then turned around and began to walk away dismissively. Darry stepped forward, and firmly grabbed his arm. “Hey, you don’t get to just walk away from me, Soda! You better cut this shit out.”
“Cut what out?” Sodapop asked innocently. Darry almost wanted to punch him. It didn’t happen often, but Soda could get really passive aggressive, and it pissed Darry off to no end.
“Oh, give me a break. Even Pony told me how you’ve been acting while I was gone, and that’s sayin’ something.”
For a moment, there was a look of bewildered hurt in Soda’s eyes, and Darry almost felt bad. But just as quickly, the fire re-ignited stronger. “Don’t you dare try to give me a lecture, Dar. You ain’t in charge of me, no matter what you seem to think. Oh, I’m so sorry I don’t wanna talk about the stolen money that you made me hide for you that could get us thrown in jail! Give me a break, man.”
“What do you want me to do, huh?” Darry roared. “I couldn’t leave without knowing you’d be okay! Especially when dad could’ve been laid off!”
“Well he didn’t, did he? We were fine! Quit tryin’ to fix everything when you’re leaving again in two weeks!” Soda cried, his eyes stemming with angry tears. Darry took a step toward him, but Soda shoved him back, hard. In the blink of an eye, he had disappeared back into his bedroom, the door slammed tightly shut.
Darry just stared after him for a moment, gaping. After a minute, he turned around to make himself a cup of coffee.
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The week before Darry would leave for Vietnam, he found himself sitting in Paul Holden’s living room. He’d spent a fair amount of time here during high school, since Darry didn’t like having his school friends at his house.
“How long will you be gone?” Paul asked, cracking open a can of beer from the case in front of them.
“Twelve months.” Darry replied, taking a sip of his own drink. Darry didn’t drink a lot, solely because he hated the feeling of being drunk. He’d only really gotten drunk twice in his life, and neither time ended very well. The first time was at a party, and he’d gotten himself into a fight with his girlfriend that ended their relationship. The second time, he’d been caught by his father, and the look on his face was enough to decide he’d never drink that much again. But just a couple drinks never hurt anyone, and if there was ever a good time for beer, it was when you’re about to be shipped off to war.
“You're still gonna come to Texas when you get back?” Paul asked, somewhat nervous. Darry chuckled softly, nodding.
He’d been best friends with Paul since middle school, when they’d met through football. Paul was new to town, and didn’t care that Darry didn’t have a lot of money. All that mattered was that he was a good football player. That year, they’d both been the team captains, and they'd been close since. They applied to Texas University together, and were thrilled when two matching acceptance letters came back to them in Tulsa. Only, Paul’s parents could afford his tuition. Darry wasn’t as fortunate.
“As long as I’ve got the money.” Darry smiled, allowing himself to be happy about the thought. “And as long as I’m alive, I guess.”
He meant it as a joke, but Paul didn’t seem to take it as one. “Shut up, Darrel. You’ll be fine. Just don’t be stupid.”
“Well that helps a lot. Now I’ll be safe, for sure. I’ll just keep an eye out for them bullets, all right, buddy?” Darry said sarcastically.
“Oh, shut up.” Paul groaned, clearly fighting a grin. But when Darry started laughing, he couldn’t help but join him.
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The night before Darry’s flight, he was sitting on the floor and folding his clothes with his duffel strewn carelessly beside him. Sodapop leaned against the doorframe, arms folded stubbornly over his chest as he silently watched. Darry was ignoring his presence, avoiding another fight with his brother. Things between the boys hadn’t gotten any better the longer Darry was home. In fact, they might’ve gotten worse.
“What was boot camp like?” Soda asked suddenty, surprising Darry as he looked over at him. Sodapop was still feigning indifference, but Darry just figured he didn’t want to look as anxious as he must have been.
“Exactly how you’d imagine. Just a bunch of angry guys yellin’ atcha ‘bout how you tied up your boots. And a lot of marching ‘n shit. It wasn’t too bad, though.”
Soda hummed, not even looking in his direction. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world; in fact, he looked bored. Darry knew him well enough to know it was an act, but that didn’t mean it didn’t piss him off.
“Why are you actin’ like a piece of shit?” Darry demanded suddenly, shoving a pair of trousers in his bag. Soda raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking at Darry for the first time all day.
“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.” Soda said dismissively, and Darry saw red.
“Oh, cut it out! Damnit, Sodapop! I’m sick ‘n tired of hearin’ mom and dad chalk up how you've been actin' to hormones ‘n shit, because this ain’t you. It ain’t like you to be an asshole all the time. It sure ain’t like you to push Pony away, and it certainly ain’t like you to treat me like the scum of the earth when this is the last night I’ll be home for the next year!” Darry hollered, panting.
He watched the bewildered look on Sodapop’s face shift into something different. When Darry expected Soda to start yelling, all of a sudden, he just bursted into tears. He slid down the wall, knees pulled to his chest as he sobbed. For a while, Darry just stared at him, speechless. Sure, everyone's seen Soda cry before, but never like this. Darry was clueless about how to react. After a moment he crawled over beside him, and squeezed his knee. “Soda, what’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He wailed inconsolably, rocking back and forth.
Darry didn’t know what to do at all. Glory, he didn’t even know what set Soda off in the first place. Fortunately, he knew someone who could probably figure it out. “I’ll be right back, little buddy.”
Darry stuck his head out the door. “Ponyboy!”
“What?” He called from his room.
“C’mere!”
“Why?”
“Just come here!” Darry yelled, trying not to get aggravated.
“Fine.” He said, stepping out the door. “What do you want? I was reading.” He complained, but froze as he heard the muffled sobs through the door in Darry’s room. Without another word, he opened it and stepped inside, Darry following after him. He kneeled beside his older brother, grabbing his shoulder and shaking lightly. “Soda, it’s me.”
Darry turned around to shut the door, and when he turned back around, Soda was holding onto Pony for dear life. “Oh, Pony, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He said softly, his head pressed into Sodapop’s shoulder.
“Soda, what’s wrong?” Darry asked.
“I’m sorry, Darry. I couldn’t do it.” Soda cried, voice shaking. “I messed everything up.”
“What do you mean?” Darry asked nervously.
“I couldn’t take care of them, Darry. Everythin’ was awful when you were gone.” He sobbed, voice hitching. “It was all messed up. And Dally heard me ‘n Two-Bit talkin’ about the money one time. I screwed everythin’ up, Darry. I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s okay Soda. You didn’t mess anythin’ up, buddy. And Dallas won’t tell nobody.” Darry said softly, trying to comfort him. “I didn’t mean to put a bunch of pressure on you. I’m the one who’s sorry, alright?”
Soda seemed to consider this through teary eyes for a moment, before briefly wrapping his arms around Darry’s shoulders. “Okay.” He whispered, before pulling away and holding onto Ponyboy again. “I’m sorry I pushed you away, Pony. I didn’t mean to, I just didn’t wanna hurt you. I just didn’t want you to be upset.”
“It’s okay, Soda, really.” He insisted, his eyes filling with tears as well. “Just don’t ever do that again, savvy?”
“Savvy.” Sodapop laughed tearfully, embracing him tightly. He extended his other arm to Darry, pulling him into the hug. Darry couldn’t help but smile. “I love you both so much.” Soda sniffed.
“Love you too.” Pony mumbled.
“Me too.” Darry smiled, ruffling his hair. Lord, he was sure gonna miss them when he was gone.