Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Dwight found himself in the presence of Danny Cordray more often than he was comfortable with. Jim would often make plans with Dwight and then allow Danny to tag along. From how angry and tired Danny was of these stunts Dwight could tell many a date between the two had also turned into group sessions. Dwight knew that Jim wanted him and Danny to get along now that he was dating Danny but the scheme Jim was trying to run was annoying. He told Jim as much.

“Jim, don’t invite me out if it’s just a ploy to force me to hang out with Cordray. Especially since I end up playing third wheel to your dates.” And God did he play the third wheel. These awkward meet-ups never stayed awkward for Danny who could monopolize Jim’s time in ways Dwight couldn’t. Not only was he irate with being a part of Jim’s weird throuple, he was jealous too. Painfully jealous. He’d rather not have to witness it if he couldn’t have Jim in that way and Dwight didn’t care if it made him a “nice guy” for thinking that.

“I just want you two to get along,” Jim said bashfully. “You guys are so similar! I don’t understand why you don’t like one another.”

“It’s because we are similar that I hate him. We study a specialized field. We’ve competed for practically everything since we were freshmen.” Including the same boy, Dwight thought. He continued, “We want the same things, at the same time, and have the same goals. With how specialized we both are within our majors it’s only natural there’d be some hostility between us, especially when what we do is so similar that him getting a job is me being out of a job.”

“You’re engineers, there has to be plenty of jobs. I’ll have a harder time finding one than you guys but I’m still friends with people in my major. Live in the moment and worry about your peers being competition in the future.”

“That just means you're nice, if not naive.”

“No, it means I’m not jaded,” Jim replied.

“Whatever, I would prefer not to third wheel your and Danny’s dates. Can you please keep us separate?”

“Fine.”

Dwight smiled slightly at that. “Okay. Do you want to get dinner?”

“Can’t.”

“Danny?”

“Nope, Pam.”

Jim eventually came out to his family and friends. He had his parents' support (although Mrs. Halpert seemed upset at the idea Jim wouldn’t give her biological grandchildren) while Tom had always been Jim’s biggest cheerleader. However, things were strained between Jim and Pete and Larissa, the former more apathetic than anything else while the latter had been outright hostile about it. Their family was currently divided on the topic of Jim’s sexuality. He’d been extremely hurt by his siblings’ reactions but otherwise, Jim was doing okay in that regard. He still spoke to his parents every other day and Tom still visited him. He wasn’t completely shunned and that seemed good enough for Jim.

As Dwight expected, Jim’s friends were supportive. He’d been with them for a length of time almost as long as he’d been with Dwight, there was no way they’d abandon him. Most of them, at least. The real drama came from the dissolution of Jim, Kelly, and Ryan’s friendship. Jim waited all of eleven hours between telling his dad and telling Pam he was gay, afraid that Kelly and her big mouth would out him before he got the chance to himself. Kelly and Ryan swore they would never do that. Jim pointed out the reaction they gave him when he told them in a stress-induced breakdown and how Kelly made plans after that to hang out with Pam solo. That never happened, Pam and Kelly only hung out in their large groups and Jim found it shady. Ryan used the opportunity to vent about how much he hated how Jim was always the center of attention and how he was dissatisfied with his relationship with Kelly. Kelly claimed innocence while pissed that Ryan tried throwing her under the bus. She argued that she needed to talk to Pam about something “only girls would understand” and so requested the meeting. So the three weren’t friends anymore and Dwight wasn’t sure they would ever be (at least, Jim wouldn’t be friends with them). All in all, it seemed like none of them outgrew their high school antics.

Still, Dwight never intruded on Jim’s time with Pam. He knew how much it meant to Jim that Pam still loved him. Besides, the possessive side of him was smug that other side of Danny, Jim hung out with him the most.

“Let me know when you’re free then,” Dwight said. “And for the love of God, don’t bring Danny.”

“I won’t! But you have to promise me you’ll get along with him?”

Dwight huffed. “Yeah, I’ll try.”

“I’m serious, Dwight. I really think Danny’s the one. And you’re like my brother. I need you to like him if this relationship is gonna work.”

Dwight wanted to tell Jim that it wasn’t going to work, ever. Even if he put his differences (or similarities) with Danny aside, Dwight would never be happy that anyone who wasn’t himself had Jim. But instead of saying that, Dwight said, “Sure.”

With that, Dwight’s senior year came to an end. He graduated with honors and ample financial aid for graduate school. His family drove up for the graduation as did the non-homophobic splinter of the Halpert family. They and Michael got lunch after the ceremony and spoke about Dwight’s plans for the future. He’d get his Masters, go to work for a few years, before going back to school for his Ph.D. in environmental engineering and moving on to lab work on how to utilize and manage limited land and agricultural resources. It was boring but it was what Dwight wanted to do.

“You’re so smart, Dwight,” Jim said. “I have no doubt you’re going to come up with all sorts of cool, sustainable farming techniques for the future.”

Dwight was really happy that Jim chose to spend the afternoon with him instead of Danny. It truly warmed his heart that Danny was alone. It was what he deserved.

Dwight was happy for his new beginnings yet sad at the same time. Most of his friends were graduating too and leaving on top of that. Angela had gotten into a graduate program in Michigan and would move in a few days. Phyllis was going to a different school in Boston while Stanley planned on moving to Florida. Oscar would be around and Michael hadn’t yet graduated, but it wouldn’t be the same without the whole gang there.

In fact, Dwight had a “date” with Angela for dinner. It was supposed to be easy and casual, two friends saying goodbye after everything they’d been through. Some part of Dwight would always love Angela and hoped they wouldn’t drift apart. But the pragmatist in him believed this would be the end of the line for them. At the very least, Dwight wanted to end their relationship—romantic or platonic—on a high note. 

“What are your plans after this,” Jim asked.

“Me and Angela are getting dinner later.”

Jim waggled an eyebrow at Dwight. Dwight learned some time ago that Jim honest to God shipped him with Angela and was upset they weren’t together. “Is it because of me,” he asked at that time, “my being here hasn’t ruined things between you two, didn’t it?”

Yes, it did. But that didn’t matter.

“I hope everything goes well for you two!”

“It’s not happening the way you expect it to. I’m just saying goodbye.”

“Dude, that sucks. Are you really giving up on the girl of your dreams so easily?”

“You’re overstating things. Angela’s hardly the girl of my dreams.” 

Wow, if only high school Dwight could hear him now.

“Whatever happens, I hope things go well for the two of you. Angela’s a nice girl.”

“I don’t get your obsession with her.”

Dwight didn’t ask Jim what he planned on doing that night, he had a good idea that Jim would be meeting up with Danny. As nice as the idea of Danny being all alone was it was still his graduation too.

State College had few fancy restaurants and even fewer fancy restaurants that students were expected to afford. He took Angela to the nicest one within his budget. It was fairly crowded, which made perfect sense because of graduation, and he had a hard time hearing Angela. She had to repeat every sentence and lean in close just so he could hear. It was frustrating to her, Dwight could tell because it was frustrating to him. By the time the restaurant quieted down enough for Dwight to gain some clarity something else cropped up to distract him.

Roughly three tables down and four tables to the left were Danny and Jim. Again, it wasn’t surprising that they were there: it was a nice, cheap restaurant and Cordray deserved to have his achievements celebrated with someone he loved. But still, with it waved right under his nose Dwight couldn’t help but feel bitter and angry.

Dwight walked Angela back to her apartment. “This was nice,” he commented as he watched her unlock her door.

“Was it really? You didn’t pay me any attention,” Angela steamed.

“You know I couldn’t hear you.”

“Please, you were too busy obsessing over the fact Danny is dating Jim.”

Dwight rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”

“I have eyes, Dwight! You really let some dumb rivalry and misplaced overprotectiveness come between your last dinner with me? You couldn’t even pretend to engage with me? Pretend you care or that you’d miss me as a person or have some interest in my life? I didn’t expect anything but your friendship but you couldn’t even give me that for two hours. You’re a piece of shit, Dwight, seriously.”

Angela slammed the door behind her before Dwight could get a word in edgewise.

On the long walk back to his dorm, Dwight reflected over the night’s events. Had he really ignored Angela? He could recall bits and pieces of their conversations and remembered the almost robotic replies he gave to her. If his friends had done that to him Dwight wouldn’t have cared. He would have naturally assumed they had something troubling them and needed time to process it. It didn’t seem like something worth getting upset about. But it didn’t matter what he thought, Angela was clearly hurt by his behavior enough to cut him off. 

He hadn’t realized he was so obvious about his contempt for Jim and Danny’s relationship.

Dwight’s body felt leaden and tense by the time he arrived home. He wasn’t sure who to talk to about this kind of thing. Maybe a therapist could help him process his inappropriate relationship with Jim and why he thought he deserved something from him. Maybe they could help him understand how he got to the point that staring at Jim seemed like a better option to him than paying attention to one of his oldest friends. Maybe they could help him understand why loving Jim felt so emotionally exhausting when it hadn’t for anyone else he’d been with. 

But first, he just wanted to tell someone. So he called Michael, hoping he’d understand.

Dwight decided on staying in State College for the summer. Once the school year started he’d be a graduate student and a teaching assistant on top of that. He wanted to spend his last summer before hell with his friends and earning a bit of money doing freelance work. While he’d miss his parents, he had no reason to go home. So he rented an apartment, moved out of his dorm, and buckled down.

Dwight’s apartment was nice. Sure, it cost an arm and a leg, which was an arm and a leg more than his free RA housing. Sure, it was a bit far from campus and he had to pay extra money for a parking pass. Sure, it’d be a hassle going to and from class and work back to his house, especially if he was tired or drunk. And sure, he lived with Michael. But it was his. That was all that mattered to Dwight. He had something that was his and that made him happy, especially since he didn’t have much that was his these days.

Dwight hoped he could use the summer to get over Jim. It wasn’t fair to himself to pine over a boy he’d never have. It wasn’t fair to his and Jim’s relationship either. He was causing himself mental strain by being around the boy and while he did his best to not show his discomfort, he was sure Jim would eventually clue in. It was an idea that Michael had come up with and good ideas were hard to come by with him. It was worth a try.

The distance would be good! Dwight only developed feelings for Jim when he came to Penn State anyway so being away from him meant the feelings would go away too. At least, that was how Dwight assumed it would work. Maybe he’d hook up with a few women over the summer too. He was never bad in the one-night stand department and a nice little fling would soothe his soul. 

Unfortunately for Dwight, fate never worked in his favor.

“...so I think I’ll stay here for the time being,” Jim finished. 

Dwight gasped like a fish, words unable to describe how utterly defeated he felt in the face of life. Did Jim seriously need to be here this summer? What happened to him going home and spending time with his family? He had a detailed plan on making his siblings love him again that he wanted to enact and he definitely couldn’t do it unless he was in Scranton! He couldn’t even question Jim because his mouth wouldn’t fucking work! Why did God hate him? Was it because Dwight didn’t believe in him? Wasn’t God supposed to love all of his children? Dwight knew he was right in thinking organized religion was a fraud; he had his proof right there.

Jim stared at Dwight, stealing fries from him every once in a while. “I’ll miss you while you’re gone,” Jim tried.

“I’m staying here,” Dwight finally got out. There was no point in lying about his whereabouts even though he seriously considered it. “I’m going to work and party before school starts and I’m too busy to.”

“Wow, you’re such a good friend,” Jim said drily. “You weren’t planning on telling me you weren’t going back to Scranton?”

No. “It was a last-minute decision. About as last-minute as yours, apparently.”

“Do you have accommodations?”

“Me and Michael have an apartment. You?”

“The writing workshop will give me housing.” Dwight watched as Jim brushed his hair out of his face before smiling at him. Dwight hated when he did that. “I’m glad we can be together this summer.”

“What are you going to do about Pete and Larissa?”

“Eh. Danny told me the onus was on them to come around to me and not the other way around. I agree.”

Of course, Danny talked Jim into staying on campus. Danny had a job working for the university in one of the research facilities and would be setting up base in State College for the time being. Of course, he’d want his boyfriend. Dwight just hoped he wasn’t a pessimist and Danny told Jim out of kindness and solidarity and not because he wanted his booty call around.

“Oh, cool.”

Jim wore an uneasy expression on his face. “Can I see your apartment?”

Dwight didn’t immediately answer, causing Jim to outright frown. “Only if you want,” Jim amended. “You seem a bit busy and I don’t want to intrude.”

Dwight’s chest tightened. This is what he feared: his pain about his situation would start to reflect in his mannerisms and Jim would pick up on it. He didn’t want to be the cause of their relationship deteriorating again. “No, I’m just tired from moving. You’re always welcome at my place, I can’t believe you’d question that.”

Deep down, Dwight didn’t want it to be true but it was. By the end of the night, he was giving Jim a spare key to the apartment, in case he ever needed somewhere to stay.

Gay marriage had been legalized.

It wasn’t something Dwight thought about because it wasn’t something that pertained to him outside of making a snarky joke to his homosexual friends about now being able to experience divorce. But as he worked his way through his contact list he realized that A) he didn’t know many gay people and 2) Jim kind of deserved better than a half-baked, half-offensive joke.

He waited for Jim outside of his workshop to break the news to him. 

“Hey, Dwight,” Jim said cheerfully. “What are you doing here?”

“Do you not want me here?”

“I’m always happy to see you,” Jim said honestly. “I’ve never had someone wait for me after class though. What’s up?”

Dwight was sure Jim was joking. But still, it made him happy that Jim was happy to see him. He pulled his phone out to show Jim the news article.

“Oh, I already saw this,” Jim commented. “You came all the way here to tell me this? I thought you had to work?”

Dwight was an idiot. Of course, Jim knew. This was the top news story, it would be for weeks to come. Everyone knew but in his excitement just to see Jim Dwight forgot all logic. All Dwight could do was make a remark to save himself from embarrassment. “I figured we could get married now.”

Jim let out a strained laugh. “What?”

“We can get married now, just like you wanted,” Dwight repeated.

Jim stared at him with wide eyes, blocking the doorway and forcing his classmates to mill about in the room or shove past him. “Huh?”

Saving himself meant more to Dwight than giving Jim a paramount explanation did. “Aren’t you eloquent? You’ll get far in your field with your basic vocabulary.”

“Dwight,” Jim deadpanned. “If this some poorly thought out homophobic joke of yours then I’m going to smash your head into that brick wall.”

Realizing Jim truly didn’t know what he was talking about Dwight gave up. “Remember when you fell out of a tree and I caught you right before you busted your thick skull open? And I had to carry you home? You asked me to marry you. Well, you demanded it, actually.”

“I did not!”

“You did,” Dwight insisted despite the argument being irrelevant. What was he hoping for, Jim to remember, go, “oh, that’s right!” and leave Danny for him? Dwight wouldn’t even do that for Dwight in his imagination. “You told me I had to because I treated you better than I did everyone else and...Andy was there. He can confirm this.”

“Oh my God, really? Jesus, I was such an asshole of a child.”

Dwight smiled. “Yeah, you were. Remember, you were in the tree because you wanted to prank—.” Dwight shut up; the less said about Jim’s homophobic sister the better.

“Yeah, I remember that and you carrying me back. I don’t remember the conversation…”

By now, all of Jim’s classmates had left, moving past him with some laughing at his embarrassment and the “cute” story. Jim played with the hem of his shirt, pulling at loose threads and wringing his hands around bunches of fabric.

“It’s never a good thing when you’re nervous,” Dwight commented.

“I don’t remember that,” Jim reiterated.

That was a given and just Dwight’s luck. “Well, whatever. It’s not that big of a deal. When I saw the news I thought of you, is all.”

Still, Jim looked deeply disturbed. “That sounds awkward. Sorry.”

“It happened so long ago, Jim. Who cares. It was kind of cute.”

“No, I must have made you uncomfortable. Dwight, I’m really sorry.”

Dwight rolled his eyes. “Seriously, it was years ago. Friends say that to friends all the time.”

“Not friends of the same sex.”

“Again: who cares?”

Jim’s eyes reflected a bit of clarity at the conversation as if he realized something or had something of substance to say about their otherwise banal conversation.

“Did you ever realize?” Jim asked solemnly.

“That you were gay? No, I never realized. I thought you were in love with Pam for the longest time, actually. Even up until you told me I still figured that down the line you’d end up with her.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” Jim cut in. He tugged at his hair and looked everywhere but at Dwight. “I’m so embarrassed to say this. It’s embarrassing! Ugh.”

“Cut to the chase, Jim. There’s no time for your dramatics.”

“I used to have a crush on you,” Jim rushed out. 

Dwight tried not to look taken aback but he was. “When?”

“I dunno? It’s hard to pinpoint. I don’t remember telling you you had to marry me but I already liked you by then so I don’t doubt I said it.”

Dwight’s heart beat wildly. Of course, they liked each other at different points in their lives. Nothing was ever simple and easy for him. And why would it be? What would Dwight have done if he knew Jim liked him when he was ten? He would have likely ignored Jim’s feelings if he didn’t outright ignore Jim. At the time, Dwight didn’t have any romantic feelings for Jim. Even with his deluded imagination, Dwight had to contend that nothing would have happened between them.

Dwight realized he hadn’t responded to Jim’s confession. To ease the boy’s suffering he said, “I didn’t know. You did a good job of hiding it.”

“Yeah. But I don’t like you anymore,” Jim blurted. Dwight winced; Jim was driving a spike into his heart, even if he didn’t realize how Dwight felt. “I stopped liking you in high school.”

Oh. “Your freshman year?”

“Yeah...we just grew apart and then you started dating Angela and I figured I never had a chance, that you never saw me that way.”

Dwight could read Jim well enough, well enough to know he was lying. Likely, Jim gave up after their fallout. Maybe he gave up after Dwight went to college. Regardless, Jim said what he said solely to spare Dwight’s feelings.

There was nothing Dwight could do. It was too late for him.

Instead, he pulled Jim into a hug. “How could you ever stop loving me? I’m incredible.”

Jim snorted. “Whatever, Dwight.” Jim sighed. “Thank you for not being upset with me.”

Dwight hugged him tighter. “I wouldn’t be mad at you for something like that. I love you, Jim. And, if you want, I could always marry you to make it less awkward.”

Jim pulled back, eyes lit. “No way, asshole! Honestly, I don’t want to get married, it seems miserable.”

Dwight snorted. “You’ve decided Danny isn’t the one?”

“Oh, please. I love Danny. I just think marriage is a bit meaningless. If it means something to him then yeah, I’ll consider it. But we haven’t even been together that long.”

Long enough for Jim to fall in love with Danny though. “Well, you have a good head on your shoulders. And you know, the offer always stands.”

“Don’t worry, Dwight. I won’t boggle you down with a homosexual marriage to me. I wouldn’t want to cramp your style.”

Jim dismissed himself for his next workshop session, leaving Dwight reeling. Little did he know how badly Dwight wouldn’t mind Jim cramping his style. If anything, Jim was his style. 

Dwight picked up his broken heart and went home.

Not much changed after Jim’s admission, Dwight wasn’t sure why he expected something would. Did he want Jim to magically regain his crush on Dwight, fall head over heels in love, dump Danny, and run off into the sunset with Dwight? 

Yeah, that’d be pretty nice.

But, alas, life didn’t go the way Dwight wanted.

Instead, he got a girlfriend, Isabella. She was cute and fun and a friend of Pam’s. They had similar interests and she was studying engineering. She got his weird sense of humor and jived well with his personality. She put out. Dwight fully planned on having a fun summer with Isabella. If things went smoothly maybe he’d imprint his odd crush onto Isabella.

Jim approved of her which was…. Yeah. Dwight kinda wanted Jim to hate Isabella the way he hated Danny. He wanted Jim to be jealous and bitter and vie for Dwight’s attention whenever they were both around. He wanted Jim to feel a fraction of the pain he felt one the regular, to understand Dwight’s emotions in all of their spiteful, evil glory.

Instead, Jim planned double dates.

“I know you don’t wanna be around Danny but a double date is different than just the three of us together, right? It could be fun.”

Jim wanted to take a weekend trip to Ohio. There was a theme park he wanted to go to and a water park not that far away from it. He planned everything, taking money from Danny, Dwight, and Isabella for the lodging and weekend passes. He mapped out the route they’d take, what rides they’d ride, and at what time was the best time to attempt them. He stocked up on liquor with his fake ID. Jim was well prepared for their double date.

Danny drove. The car was silent for the brief drive over to Isabella’s sublet and Dwight wished she’d spent the night at his place, just to spare him from being the third wheel for five minutes. To Jim’s credit, he obviously picked up on Dwight’s discomfort and didn’t engage with Danny but not talking to his boyfriend wasn’t going to change the fact that said boyfriend was there, to begin with. Once Isabella boarded the car Dwight let out a sigh of relief. He entertained himself by chatting with Isabella and streaming their favorite anime on his shitty phone. With his headphones in Dwight could pretend to be oblivious to his crush sitting inches in front of him.

The waterpark was nice. Jim got a shared room for himself and Danny while Isabella shared one with Dwight. That was perfectly fine and what Dwight expected. They went to their respective rooms for a break before they’d go downstairs to swim and eat. Danny claimed he was tired and for once Dwight didn’t think it was a ploy to monopolize Jim; the drive over had been around five hours and Danny tackled it by himself.

“Can you help me get into my swimsuit,” Isabella asked, kicking off her skirt and panties the moment she stepped into the room. She pulled out a one-piece that looked like she’d have to pour herself into it to put it on and was highly inappropriate for the family-friendly establishment they were at. It was smokin’ hot. And, from what Dwight could see, Isabella waxed in preparation for the trip.

It took a long while after Isabella’s clothes were fully off for the swimsuit to get put on.

Isabella was one of the better sexual partners Dwight had had if not the best. Yet he kicked himself mentally when his first thought post-coital was ‘I hope Jim didn’t hear us’. First, Jim and Danny were three doors down across the hall, and second, what a strangely demeaning thought to have. He helped Isabella into her swimsuit (which had a hidden zipper that made it seamless to get into; Isabella was a little minx) and washed before meeting with Danny and Jim to swim.

The water park was large and crowded but nevertheless, the four had fun. Dwight was skeptical a water park at the height of the summer could be fun; there’d be nothing but elementary school children and their disgruntled parents around. Fortunately, he was wrong. Maybe the fun stemmed from the fact they experienced the park as a group and not broken into their respective couples meaning Dwight got to hang out with both Jim and Isabella. 

Eventually, they toweled off and explored the arcade before getting dinner. “Did you guys have fun?” Jim asked Dwight and Isabella.

“I totally did!” Isabella started. “Where did you hear about this place? I wouldn’t think to come to Ohio.”

“Some friends have been here and recommended it. I figured we deserved a vacation away from campus and it wasn’t too far.”

They chatted here and there mindlessly, the conversation never staying on one subject. It was the first time in months Dwight felt at ease around Jim and the first time he’d ever felt comfortable around Jim and Danny as a couple. Plus, he’d had a great time with Isabella. Maybe she could be the one for him.

“Remember when we went to Montage Mountain?” Jim directed at Dwight. “I was probably eight then.”

“Yeah, you fell and skinned your knee and cried bloody murder. The lifeguards thought someone was drowning from how loud you cried. I had to walk you back to our table and bandage the scratch for you.”

Jim chuckled. “Come on, it wasn’t a scratch, my entire knee was bleeding!”

“It was a scratch and a superficial one at that. You just wanted attention.”

Jim looked contemplative. “Maybe. Maybe I just wanted you to save me. You were always doing that.”

Dwight took a sip of water, trying to get rid of the dryness in his throat. Eventually, he had to answer. “If you stopped being so helpless I wouldn’t have to. Man up, Halpert.”

Jim laughed harder. “Whatever. You like helping me. That’s why you gave me a key to your place. And thanks, by the way, because I let Gabe rope me into being roommates again and I’m starting to regret it.”

“You have a key to Dwight’s place?” Danny asked. Dwight hadn’t noticed he and Jim were lost in their own world while Isabella and Danny conversed among themselves. Danny was apparently tuned in enough to their conversation to hear something he didn’t like. “Why do you have a key to his place?”

“I mean, why not?” Jim asked. “I spend a lot of time with Dwight, he’s my best friend. It kinda makes sense, you know?”

Danny’s lips were pressed into a thin line and he looked at Dwight with pure hatred. He turned to Jim, trying to dissipate the tension he caused but it wasn’t enough because Jim looked extremely put off. Even Isabella’s back went rigid at the change in atmosphere. “Oh, I think it’s kind of inappropriate,” Danny laughed. “For what reason would you need a key to Dwight’s place? Are you handing out keys to your dorm room to anyone ole person?”

“Are you really comparing a dorm room to an actual apartment?” Jim asked, astonished. Based solely on Jim’s reaction Danny had never gotten angry or jealous with him before. It made Dwight happy. “It’s just for emergencies, chill out.”

“What emergency?”

Jim frowned. “I don’t know because nothing’s come up yet. Are you seriously upset that Dwight gave me a key to his place? I have a key to yours too, should Dwight take offense with that?”

“That’s different—.”

“It isn’t. I have a key to a loved one’s place and that’s all it is.”

Dwight was appalled that he got to bear witness to what was probably Jim and Danny’s first fight. It was amazing, incredible, outstanding, and iconic. And it was over him too. Dwight felt so special! Even better was Danny muttering something under his breath, audible to only Jim only for him to snap at Danny to 'shut the fuck up'. It was so beautiful.

For Dwight at least. Jim and Danny ended up leaving the buffet while Isabella was left painfully confused about what just transpired. 

“Why was Danny so mad at Jim?” Isabella asked later. They’d found an empty jacuzzi when they’d left dinner, away from any prying ears or angry couples who might’ve been listening. “If Jim can have a key to his place why can’t he have one to yours? And I thought they were roommates at first, is Danny someone you grew up with too?”

It seemed obvious why Danny was mad at Jim but then Dwight realized Isabella didn’t know Jim and Danny were together. Dwight wondered how she never picked up on that seeing as how Jim nor Danny tried hiding it. Their hotel room was the same one bed room as theirs. But while Isabella might have been a friend of Pam’s she wasn’t a friend of Jim’s. And if she couldn’t discern that Jim was in a homosexual relationship with Danny then it wasn't Dwight’s place to tell her.

“Danny’s just an asshole. Ignore him.”

“Ah. I hope it isn’t too awkward tomorrow. I wonder if they’re still fighting?”

The demon in Dwight hoped they were so they could break up and he could make his move. But his demon was evil and Dwight didn’t wish ill on Jim. “Probably not. It’s not like Jim to be mad about anything for long. Danny either.”

They went back to their room. Walking by Jim and Danny’s room Dwight heard a strange sound. It was faint, really faint, but it sounded like the squeaking of a bed frame. Isabella touched his forearm, guiding him into the hotel room. She tried to run his hands across her breasts but Dwight resisted.

“We probably shouldn’t,” Dwight said bitterly. “The walls are thin and everyone can hear us.”

The rest of the trip went without incident. In fact, it was quite fun. Apparently, Jim and Danny’s makeup sex session went swimmingly. The trip went so well that afterward, Dwight found himself double dating with Jim and Danny a lot. All summer long was nothing but date after date after date after date. The strange thing was Isabella requested these double dates. Danny and Jim were a lot more fun to be around than Roy and Pam, she claimed. Even stranger was the fact Isabella didn’t think they were double dates. She still didn’t know Jim and Danny were dating! She thought they were two close yet sometimes vitriolic friends who were always together and knew how to have a great time. And Danny and Jim were none the wiser, taking the dates at face value.

Dwight was in hell.

Slowly, the summer that Dwight wanted to spend away from Jim ebbed away into autumn, and with it came a new semester. Now that he was working as a teaching assistant Dwight didn’t have as much free time as he used to. And now that he had a girlfriend who either wanted to fuck, chill, or help with homework Dwight found himself with less one on one time for Jim than usual. Dwight wasn’t sure how to feel. This was what he wanted, sure. No Jim and a girlfriend. But things weren’t clicking the way they should have, leaving Dwight with the strange sense of emptiness he had whenever he slept with Angela last year before he knew it was because of his feelings for Jim. If anything, his love tragically intensified due to the strong longing he felt.

He resolved to continue limiting contact with Jim, at least until his crush went away. He might have not been able to get away with it during the summer but now that everyone was in class he had the feeling he could. Plus, as long as Isabella made plans with Jim and Danny it wasn’t as if he was totally cut off from Jim.

Sometimes Jim texted him asking to hang out and to catch up. He’d send Jim back pictures of the assignments he was grading or a project he was working on. Sometimes he sent pictures of Isabella laid out on his couch, hoping Jim got the hint. Sometimes Jim wanted to invite himself over. Dwight had to gently reprimand him and remind Jim that the key was emergencies only. Sometimes, Jim whined to Dwight that he didn’t want to double date, he just wanted himself and Dwight to meet.

Jim: We don’t have to invite Danny and Isabella this time lol 😊

Jim: I’m getting sick of always being around Danny lol, save me

Jim: I love him and everything but I’d rather hang with you

Jim: wyd?

Dwight would ignore Jim’s texts or wait until it was either too late at night or when Isabella came over to answer. Eventually, Jim stopped texting so often. Now, they spoke in their group chats but never one-on-one.

Maybe by Thanksgiving Dwight would be over this?

Who was he kidding, Dwight would never get over Jim. Dwight was upset with himself. What was he doing wrong? Why couldn’t he get over him? Why couldn’t Isabella be enough? He toyed with the idea that things weren’t working out with Isabella because he was gay. But Dwight’s attraction to women never felt misplaced. If anything, Dwight wasn’t attracted to men; Jim was his exception so it couldn’t be that he was gay, no. Maybe Isabella just wasn’t the right woman for him. But Dwight was a coward and couldn’t bring himself to end something fun and exciting.

So he continued to take the coward’s way out, hoping that by Thanksgiving, no, the Christmas break he’d be over Jim.

Jim managed to corner Dwight one late October evening. Dwight sat alone in the booth of his favorite restaurant. He should’ve known better to be alone at a haunt Jim also enjoyed. But he was so hungry after doing his group project that he went to eat on his own.

Not even five minutes after he sat down Jim slid into the seat across from him. Now Dwight felt trapped. With nowhere to run Dwight subjected himself to his fate and looked his crush in the eyes.

Jim was as casual as ever, back leaning coolly against the restaurant booth with an arm draped over the side. He looked hot as per usual but something about seeing Jim in lighting not also reflecting off of Isabella and Danny made him shine even more. Dwight felt that painful squeeze in his chest that he liked to tell himself was heartburn but was more of the aching kind and let out a shaky breath. He could get through a conversation without the veil of Isabella and Danny and all of their other mutuals shrouding him.

“Wow. I’m so shocked to see you here, Dwight,” Jim said sarcastically, looking at the menu as if this restaurant weren’t their usual spot. “You’ve been so busy I figured you learned how to photosynthesize and stopped eating.”

Ouch. Dwight deserved that dig. “Jim! How are you? It feels like we haven’t spoken like this in a while.”

“That’s an understatement.”

Jim smiled at Dwight, a tense smile like Dwight was making him uncomfortable, like Jim wasn’t the one who cornered him. Dwight gave a hesitant smile back.

“Yeah. I’ve just been so busy. I’m sorry.”

“No worries. I know you’re teaching and stuff,” Jim waved a hand dismissively through the air. “It’s nice to be able to catch you.”

“Come on,” Dwight chuckled, feeling nervous under Jim’s glare. “I saw you last week.”

“At a game night with ten other people there. That doesn’t count.”

Dwight sighed knowing Jim was right. “That’s factually true. Still, you know how it is. Or wait until you’re in grad school if you don’t.”

“Hm.”

They chatted, catching up with one another without their partners around for once. It was strange because Jim was chilly. Cordial and interested in their conversation, yeah, but he was cold. And passive-aggressive. Dwight felt like he was inconveniencing Jim by talking to him even though Jim was the one bothering him. Dwight tried keeping the conversation flowing, and for lack of things to talk about, brought up Isabella. Jim pulled an overly exaggerated face to let Dwight know he fucked up. 

“What’s that all about?” Dwight asked.

“It’s bad enough you don’t want to be around me without her. Now you have to center every conversation around Isabella too?”

Dwight was shocked. “What are you talking about? I’ve barely talked about her!”

“You literally won’t shut up about her. Am I asking too much of you to focus on me?”

“I’m sorry,” Dwight apologized. “You’re right. I’ve been a bit distracted lately.” Unsure what to say, Dwight asked, “How are you?”

Jim looked at him strangely and with one glance into Jim’s hazel eyes painted a story Jim would never tell. Hurt. Resentment. Disappointment. Distrust. Apathy. There wasn’t a single positive emotion Jim felt toward Dwight.

“Dwight, listen: I won’t force you to hang around me anymore. You’re obviously uncomfortable around me and can’t bring yourself to meet with me without Isabella third-wheeling somehow.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dwight interjected. “She isn’t even here!”

“It sure feels like she is.” Jim placed the key Dwight gave him—the one he never got the chance to use—onto the table and slid it to Dwight. 

Why did it feel like Dwight could do nothing right? “Jim, stop. You don’t make me uncomfortable. I don’t want us to stop being friends either.”

“You have a strange way of showing someone they’re valued,” Jim stated. He put enough money on the table to cover his meal, got up, and left. Dwight quickly put money on the table too and followed Jim out.

The evening air was chilly and despite being in a popular part of town, no one was around. Dwight never realized how out of shape he’d recently gotten. They were pretty much the same height and yet Dwight had a hard time keeping up with Jim’s stride. Once he was close enough, Dwight dragged Jim back by his collar, forcing him to stop.

“Let me go,” Jim shouted, trying to shrug Dwight off of him.

“No! Why are you acting this way?”

“Me? What’s wrong with me? Dwight, you’ve been avoiding me for months. Months. You only see me when Isabella decides she wants to see her token gay friends. Otherwise, you don’t call, you don’t text, you don’t do anything!” Jim let out a deep breath and when he inhaled it came out as a shudder as if he were holding back tears. “You didn’t even say anything to me on my birthday. I wasn’t expecting you to throw me a surprise party or anything but I wasn’t even worth a text message? That was when I realized you weren’t busy. You had time for everyone else except for me. You just don’t want me around.”

“There’s no excuse for me missing your birthday,” Dwight said. He’d been so in his head that he hadn’t realized he missed Jim’s birthday. That was inexcusable behavior. “I’m sorry. I’ve been in my head a lot lately and I’ve been inadvertently taking it out on you. I literally cannot apologize to you enough.”

Jim shook his head. “No. I’m not playing into this shit again, Dwight. You’re just a shitty friend. You can dress it up however you wanna dress it up but the fact remains that you suck.”

“I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I swear I'm not purposely avoiding you.”

Jim stared at Dwight, eyes wet with tears that weren’t falling. “I’m not hurt because you can’t hurt me. I already knew from experience you’d throw me away when you grew bored of me or moved on to better things or friends. I guess I’m disappointed you turned on me so quickly this time. Figured I’d provide more utility to you this go around.”

Dwight tried thinking back to what Jim could be referring to. He remembered losing contact with Jim when he went to college. He felt bad about that, he did, but he figured Jim had gotten over it. Dwight’s mistake. But he had to dredge through his memories to think about what the alleged first time was. Dwight had been a little distant with Jim before he had started high school but that was normal. Jim was a ten-year-old and Dwight was fourteen. At the time it felt like a bigger age gap than there physically was. But Dwight tried looking at it from Jim’s perspective. His best friend and crush slowly stopped spending as much time with him, no reason given. Maybe Jim didn’t understand that Dwight had different interests than him now, didn’t understand that he was in elementary school and Dwight was in high school and that was so different. Why would he understand? Dwight just assumed he would so he never bothered to explain. Instead, he expected to Jim understand Dwight’s annoyance whenever Jim tried tagging along with him or whenever he embarrassed Dwight in front of his new friends.

But no. All Jim saw was Dwight abandoning him whenever he got new friends or a girlfriend. All he saw was Dwight giving up on him. Now Jim wanted to cut his losses now that he perceived Dwight as repeating history. And Dwight couldn’t blame him.

“Jim. I never meant to hurt you. I was a selfish kid who didn’t stop to think about how my actions affected other people.”

“And now you’re a selfish adult stuck in his ways,” Jim shot back. “Whatever. It doesn’t affect me all that much whether you grow up or not. Bye, Dwight.”

With that, Jim stepped off and out of Dwight’s life.

One way for a crush to end is to get together with the person you were crushing on. Another way was to get over the crush entirely. The last way was for your crush to hate you so much that he never wanted to be around you again and you couldn’t help but respect his decision because you treated him like shit and didn’t deserve his love so all the love you felt dissipated and only left bitter, bitter shame. 

Something like that. 

Dwight wondered who else he was a shitty friend to. Actually, he didn’t need to think hard. Angela hated him too and he absolutely deserved it. Dwight was starting to learn that he could not look outside his own needs and notice the pain he caused his loved ones. 

Speaking of “loved ones”, Isabella was currently in his apartment trying to get him up and out of bed. Dwight found himself caring less and less about Isabella which wasn’t fair to her since she did nothing wrong except be with a man who loved another man. She didn’t need to be another casualty of Dwight’s selfish behavior.

“Let’s go out and do something,” Isabella whined. “You’ve been moping in bed all week. You won’t even tell me what’s wrong.”

“Jim doesn’t want to be friends anymore,” Dwight let out. It was the first time he’d said it aloud and uttering the words felt like driving a knife through his heart anew.

“Oh,” Isabella replied. It was cold and distant like Isabella was gleeful over the fact their friendship fell apart but she had enough sense not to sound happy about it. For the first time since Isabella arrived two hours ago, Dwight rolled over to look at her.

“‘Oh’ what?’”

“Nothing. Did he say why?”

It hurt too much to think about how shitty of a friend Dwight was. “No reason was given.”

“Well, it’s for the best, right?” Isabella started. She tried massaging Dwight’s back but her hands felt like claws scraping at his flesh, malicious intent apparent just from her fingertips. “Jim wasn’t the best influence on you anyway. Nice kid and all. But, you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

Isabella pressed a kiss into the crook of Dwight’s neck that felt like acid. He sat up and shrugged her off of him. Isabella drew her lips into a frown as if she couldn’t understand why Dwight didn’t follow her. 

“You know, the thing with him and Danny?”

Dwight stared at her. “What thing?”

“Come on, Dwight. You guys were so close. You had to know Jim and Danny were...together.”

Oh, so she did know. Dwight wondered when it clicked for her. Isabella wore a smile, a bright one like all of the smiles Dwight had become accustomed to over the past five months. But the way she spat out together told Dwight everything he needed to know about how Isabella viewed Jim. Dwight remembered how Pam knew Isabella. Dwight met Isabella at a graduate school fair because she liked to think ahead and wanted to know if it was worth staying at Penn State (not that Dwight even at the time, anyway). But Pam was an art major and Isabella was in engineering. There was no real way for them to cross paths unless they came together from a different mutual friend. No, Pam and Isabella knew each other from church. And while Pam was an open-minded ally it was apparent Isabella didn’t hold the same opinions.

“Yeah, what about it?” Dwight gritted out.

“I think while you’re sad that you lost your best friend in the future you’ll see how much better you are without him.”

“You tell Pam this too?”

“No.”

Hmm. “Because Jim will influence me with his gayness, right?”

When Isabella didn’t say anything, Dwight found himself growing belligerently upset. How long had she known Jim was gay, harboring ill feelings toward him while smiling in his face? What was wrong with her? “Why did you want to hang out with Jim and Danny if you hate gay people?”

Isabella had the audacity to look affronted. “I don’t hate gay people! People should be free to date whoever they choose to. Danny and Jim were fun and they didn’t really force themselves on other people. They were really chill unlike a lot of gay people who are always running around half-naked in makeup and stuff. A better example than most.”

Dwight wouldn’t tell Isabella about how Jim went to a pride parade over the summer. That would break her poor, bigoted heart. “A better example of what?”

“I don’t want to debate with you in bad faith,” Isabella replied stonily. “Obviously you don’t agree so we should drop it.”

“No, I’m willing to hear you out. This is something I need to know about you if we want to progress any further.”

Isabella looked conflicted, likely because she knew she held unpopular opinions. Her eyes watered as she blinked her big eyes at Dwight, looking for a way out. When Dwight didn’t fall for it Isabella let out a deep sigh and started her spiel. “I think people can date whoever they want. However, they should know what they’re doing is against God. If you like men that’s okay! They’re living in sin though. But it’s not too late for forgiveness. Like, God will forgive people if they give themselves to him. I like Jim and Danny a lot and just want what’s best for them. I think they have that ‘here for a good time, not a long time’ mentality. But where does that leave them in the afterlife? These are things people have to think about too!”

“So this has been a long ploy to recruit Jim to your church?”

Isabella looked confused. “No! I was hoping with a lot of positive influence he’d eventually come around.”

“Around to what? Vagina? He doesn’t like women!”

Isabella began to cry. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about it! I’m entitled to my opinions! It’s not like I’ve ever hurt Jim. I like him!”

“You literally just said you were happy he’s out of my life, like five minutes ago. Implied he might turn me gay.”

“That’s not what I meant! Jim is stubborn and stuck in his ways! That’s not the kind of person you need to be around. What if you start behaving that way? You’ll hurt yourself and others if you can’t learn to change and become adaptable.”

Jim’s words about Dwight being stuck in his ways rang in his head. It was a trait multiple people noticed in him? 

“Are you mad at me?” Isabella asked him.

“You think I’m not?”

“Should I leave?” she asked more demurely. Dwight nodded.

Isabella moaned and groaned while collecting her things to leave. Dwight, ever the gentleman, walked her to the door.

“You know something,” Dwight started. “Jim said I was stuck in my ways. You think I picked that up from him?”

Isabella seemed unsure where the conversation was going. She probably thought this was the end of them but if Dwight was asking her a casual question then that boded well for their future, right? “I think that’s a bit rich coming from him. But yeah, I guess you did. I don’t think you’re stubborn though.”

“You think I’m capable of changing?”

“Yeah. The fact that you noticed you need to change something is a good start. Maladaptive people don’t recognize that.”

“Yeah,” Dwight agreed. “I’m thinking I need to shed extra weight.”

“Oh! I think you look great already. But if you want to work out I go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Hm.” Dwight reached into Isabella’s front bra cup and pulled out the spare key he gave her (he apparently liked to pass them around like candy). She giggled, taking it as a pass at her. “There, I think I lost one-hundred-and-twenty pounds of weight.”

Before she could protest Dwight slammed the door in her face.

It took him a week after his breakup to do it but Dwight did it.

He called Angela.

“Hi,” Dwight meekly let out, surprised Angela answered him.

“Dwight. Hello.”

Angela’s tone was clipped, of course it was. They hadn’t spoken in almost six months. Dwight hadn’t tried to, figuring Angela was through with him. But now Dwight was figuring that maybe that was a misstep and was the real nail in the coffin for their friendship.

“How are you, Monkey?”

Dwight could hear Angela’s frown on the other end. “Don’t call me Monkey, Dwight. We aren’t dating.”

“Yeah, but I gave you that nickname before we started dating. Speaking of which, are you seeing anyone?”

“So you called for phone sex, right?”

“No! Not at all, I just wanted to say hello. Perhaps that question wasn’t the best lead-in.”

“You’ve said hello so goodbye—.”

“Wait, Angela, don’t hang up,” Dwight quickly rushed out. He pulled on his shoes and exited the apartment, careful to be quiet enough not to dispute Michael. “I miss you. You were a good friend to me and I treated you unsatisfactory for the last few months you were here. I apologize.”

Angela didn’t say anything for a long time and Dwight thought he missed the click of the phone hanging up. Instead, Angela sighed and said, “Okay. I accept your apology. You hurt me but I think I expected too much from someone I wasn’t in a relationship with.”

“No, you expected bare minimum human decency from me and I still couldn’t measure up. I one-hundred-and-ten percent understand why you hate me.”

“Oh, Dwight...I don’t hate you…”

Dwight and Angela chatted for two hours, just catching up with one another. Dwight had to admit he’d been distant with her since Jim came to Penn State. He couldn’t lie and pretend Jim was crazy for saying Dwight slowly ghosted people in favor of different friends. He did it to Angela under the guise of their rocky romantic relationship. But even when they were together they were still friends. He sucked so bad.

“Tell the truth. Why’d you call me?” Angela asked.

“I missed you.”

“What made you realize that?”

“I’m learning I don’t properly show people the way I feel about them. You’re a dear friend to me, Angela. I wanted you to know that.”

Angela let out an amused snort. “Jim’s upset with you.”

That surprised Dwight. “How do you know that?”

“Jim told me.”

“You talk to Jim? Since when were you friends?”

She laughed. “I don’t know? I think sometime after I flashed him I guess.”

Dwight didn’t know what to say, not wanting to unload his problem with Jim onto Angela. Luckily for him, Angela spoke first.

“How do you plan on fixing that, Dwight?”

“Not sure. I don’t think he wants to hear from me. I just need to learn to do better in the future.”

“Maybe. But I think Jim wants to hear from you, even if it’s a send-off to your friendship.”

Jim seemed pretty through with him. “I don’t know how,” he admitted.

“Come on, you can do it,” Angela coaxed. “You called me and admit it: I’m way scarier than he is.”

Dwight laughed. “That’s...not incorrect. I don’t know how to approach him. I’d also have to get through Danny first who’s probably creaming his pants that Jim cut contact with him. He finally won something.”

“Cordray’s a loser. Don’t even worry about him yet. Just focus on talking to Jim. You’ve known him for twenty years. There’s nothing you can think to do to get him to come around?”

Dwight had a few ideas he was scared to implement.

“I’ve faith that you can fix this,” Angela told him. “Don’t bother calling me back until you’ve done so.”

Dwight drove home for the weekend. Everything he needed for his apology was in his bedroom and the dusty attic of the farmhouse.

Dwight left the gift with Gabe. Dwight was afraid Jim spent most of his nights with Danny. Gabe, being the biggest blabbermouth ever, told Dwight otherwise. “Yeah, he's here most of the time. Honestly, once I came home to him telling Pam he and Danny weren’t doing too great. They might be headed to splitsville soon!”

Yay.

Danny was one less thing to worry about, not that he was a high priority. With the understanding Jim would eventually get the gift, Dwight waited. He left a note on top for Jim to contact him once he got it, even if it were to tell Dwight to fuck off (again). Jim didn’t owe Dwight closure of course, but it’d be nice to get it.

Dwight waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Dwight left the gift in mid-November and it was currently March. He lost hope around Christmas and started to pick up the pieces of his broken heart in February. It was his own fault.

Dwight applied to a summer study abroad program in Germany. Being out of the country sounded swell to him. Maybe he’d get it right this summer and get over Jim. Maybe he’d fall in love with his motherland and stay there permanently. He wasn’t sure yet but he was up for the adventure.

He was accepted in April, due to leave in late May. He packed his apartment up and started putting things into storage. Michael wanted to move in with his girlfriend Holly and Dwight couldn’t afford the apartment by himself, if he was coming back at all. He packed every inch of the life he built in State College into four boxes and stacked them neatly by the door. Anything coming with him would later go into his duffel bag. 

Dwight packed his fifth and final box. He packed up textbooks he’d no longer need and books he’d never re-read. The last book on his shelf was the photo album Jim gave him before he went off to college. Dwight sat on his bed and opened it. He looked over all of the memories they’d made together, capstoned by his prom picture. If he hadn’t been so needlessly cruel then would he and Jim still be friends? Maybe, maybe not. There wasn’t a point in dwelling on something he couldn’t change.

He left the album out to be in his duffel bag to Germany. He took the boxes down to his car and loaded them in. He didn’t really feel like heading over to the storage unit and wasn’t in a rush to, not when he wouldn’t leave for another week. He went back inside to look over the album. He was watching the accompanying video when he heard a knock at the door. Figuring it was Michael after forgetting his key, Dwight left the laptop playing on the coffee table while he answered the door.

On the other side was a pink-faced and frazzled Jim.

“Are you about to leave?” Jim wheezed out. He looked pitiful and ready to cough up a lung. It was enough impetus for Dwight to invite him in. He left Jim on the couch while he fetched him a bottle of water.

“I…,” Dwight didn’t have any words for what was happening. He doubted he’d ever see Jim again outside of maybe an awkward Schrute-Halpert Christmas dinner. Yet here he was, in the sweaty flesh, working hard to make sure Dwight didn’t get his rent deposit back. When he didn’t know what to do or say Dwight used humor as a crutch. “You’re gonna stain up my couch with all of your sweat.”

Jim immediately jumped up and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

The joke didn’t land. “No, I was trying to be funny. I’m sorry. But why are you here? Is someone chasing you?”

Every word came out with a wheeze. “I saw the boxes in your car! I ran all the way here.”

“I’m only on the third floor. Didn’t you run cross country in high school? You’re so out of shape that you can’t make it up the stairs?”

Jim shook his head and then downed the bottle of water Dwight gave him. “No,” he said once he finally got his breath. “I came from Danny’s place.”

Danny lived on the other side of town. What did Jim have to say that he ran a 10k just to get here? “What’s up?”

Jim looked as lost as Dwight currently felt. “I broke up with Danny.”

Oh. That was good news and Dwight hoped Danny was crying his little, black heart out. But he wasn’t sure what that had to do with him. “I’m sorry to hear that?”

Jim opened the backpack and pulled out the gift Dwight made him. He held out his hands to show it to Dwight, as if he’d never seen it before, before clutching it to his chest.

“Dwight, I’m sorry! I’m just now getting this,” Jim exclaimed.

“Just now? I left it for you back in November.”

Jim looked ashamed, angry, and appalled like he couldn’t believe the words about to come from his mouth. “Danny took it. Gabe gave it to him to give to me and upon seeing your name on it he opened it and read it. Then proceeded to hide it from me for months until I found it under his bed.”

That was a new low, even for Danny. But it seemed like he got his just desserts in the end. “So you weren’t ignoring me?”

“I mean, I was. But I wouldn’t have if I’d seen this.” Jim opened it up and stared at it. “It’s so sweet.”

Dwight made a photo album just like the one Jim had given him. The difference was Dwight used entirely different pictures. They had a lifetime of experiences with one another, Dwight had no need to repeat the same memories as Jim. His album was the more updated of the two. For the two years they didn’t speak, Dwight drew poorly done drawings replicating what they’d each done at the time and tried to humorously find a common thread in what they were doing. Everything after the start of Jim’s senior year Dwight took from social media, loaded it to a USB, and took it to Walgreens for printing. The most recent photo was of Dwight and Jim in line to ride a rollercoaster at the theme park, before Dwight decided to self-sabotage their friendship. Isabella and Danny fucked off to whatever pit of hell they belonged in, leaving the two of them to enjoy each other’s unadulterated presence. On the back of that photo was a simple message.

I love you.

He left it up to Jim’s interpretation if he ever read it. But Dwight meant every possible interpretation of the phrase.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Dwight finally said.

Jim put his bag on the floor and sat on it, taking Dwight’s joke to heart. Dwight sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. Getting the hint, Jim sat next to him. As if he finally noticed the noise in the background, Jim fixated on the laptop screen in front of him. A small smile blossomed on his face once he realized what it was.

“This is the DVD I made you?”

Dwight flushed a shade similar in color to Jim. “Yeah, it is.”

“Isn’t funny how we were both looking at basically the same thing?”

“Yeah...it is.”

Jim watched the video silently as Dwight watched him. Eventually, his eyes found their way back to Dwight’s. “Dwight, I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?”

“For leaving you waiting,” Jim said. “If I’d seen this I would have come to you then. You probably felt like shit once you realized you weren’t going to hear from me.”

“That’s not something you should apologize for. Danny’s a dick.” Dwight let out a chuckle to break the tension. “Well, I did tell you Danny was the worst. You could apologize for dating him, to being with.”

Jim opened his album and pulled out a photo. It was the one of them at the theme park. He held it so the message was facing Dwight. “I’m sorry I dated Danny,” Jim said seriously. “You were right, he is the worst. He’s a jealous asshole whose idea of a good time is peacocking around, trying to intimidate everyone around him instead of loving me. You pegged him correctly.”

“You seriously don’t have to apologize for that.”

“‘I love you,’” Jim read off. “What do you mean by that?”

“Everything,” Dwight replied honestly. “I love you as the kid I grew up with who I was so close to that he was practically my fourth sibling. I love you as my best friend who tolerated me bitching about stuff that was completely out of his depth and yet he listened without judgment. I love you as the person who was strong enough to walk along a path not everyone agreed with. I love you as the person I missed out on.”

Jim slotted the photo back into the album. “I felt really hurt when you started to avoid me. It was plain as day you couldn’t stand to be around me alone so you hid behind Isabella and other people to not face me. When we were younger I was hurt when you ignored me but at least when I got older I gained the perspective that I was probably an annoying tagalong to someone just learning to express himself. I didn’t hold it against you. I hated you in high school because it felt like you outright abandoned me. But I looked at it differently. You were in college and I was in high school. You were an adult and I was a child. We were so different then. It was natural to drift apart. But I guess after we reconnected I internalized the resentment I felt toward you for all those times I wasn’t good enough. I was happy to be with you again but I was also waiting for the shoe to drop.

“I didn’t stop to think about why you were avoiding me, all I saw was you living up to the negative expectation I had of you. I even thought it was because I told you I used to have a crush on you.”

Dwight was stricken. “I’d never hate you for that, I’m so sorry I made you think that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t try figuring out why you were avoiding me,” Jim said. “You might have been hiding a cancer diagnosis for all I know! What if you died, Dwight? I would have been the worst friend ever.”

Dwight rolled his eyes at the dramatics. Good ole Jim. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If I’m being honest I started to avoid you because I had a crush on you and couldn’t stand being around you. I thought putting some distance between us would alleviate the crush but I ended up making things worse.”

“Had?” Jim asked. “You had a crush on me?”

“Yeah.”

“Where is it now?”

“Where’s what?”

This time, Jim rolled his eyes. “The crush. Are you over me?”

Dwight didn’t see a point in lying. “No. Not really. I still love you.”

Jim smiled and entwined his hand with Dwight’s. “Good, I love you too.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not! I did get over you in high school, I really did. But once you started avoiding me I felt some sense of longing that was more complex than me missing my best friend. I think that was part of the reason why I wanted to end things. I wanted a clean break from you in all aspects.”

Dwight leaned over and kissed Jim on the lips. The kiss was short, sweet, and chaste yet communicated all of the hidden feelings they both shared. When Dwight pulled away Jim’s face was redder than it had been when he first came in. By how hot he felt Dwight surmised his face was just as red.

“So now what?” Jim asked. “Angela was saying you were moving to Germany? You leave today, don’t you?”

“No, I leave in a week,” Dwight replied regretfully. It seemed a shame to leave things like this, just when he maybe got a boyfriend. He had the mind to reject the study abroad and look for an apartment elsewhere. That would reflect poorly on him professionally though and three months wasn’t that long. Dwight had waited for Jim for the past year, three months was nothing on that.

“Let’s have fun for your last week here. Then we can talk about us when you get back?”

Dwight smiled and pulled Jim in for a hug, wanting to savor the moment. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”