Chapter Text
In all his years, Katsuki Bakugou had never actually wanted to kill anyone.
Sure, he said it a lot, threatened probably everyone around him at least once, but never meant it. It was more something he just said, something he’d throw out when he was frustrated or when he wanted someone to back off. After a while it became more of a joke than anything else.
Until now.
Katsuki was so certain that he could kill Kaminari in the showers right after Izuku had left. He truly considered it, but only for a second, before his brain rationalized him and brought him back to reality, where he knew that even after the shit show his stupid ass created, Katsuki knew he couldn’t kill him. But in the second before the rationalization, all Katsuki wanted to do was punch him in the face, hard, at the very least.
The showers were quiet after Izuku had left. It was nothing but running water and stunned silence, everyone processing what had just happened, between Kaminari running his mouth and Katsuki pinning him against the tile and the fact that Katsuki and Izuku had been fucking this whole time—
The door to the locker room opened and closed, and Katsuki shut his shower off.
“Shit, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean t-”
“Fuckin’ save it.” Katsuki snapped, grabbing his towel and turning his back on everyone in the showers, trying to remove himself from the showers and the locker room and everyone before he went absolutely ballistic.
Everything was fine until someone had to open their fucking mouth. It was nice, borderline perfect even. He and Izuku had their little thing, had their time when no one was looking and when no one could comment on them. It was good, it was them. Katsuki would’ve continued with that forever, just him and Izuku and no one being able to interfere or interject or ruin everything.
Katsuki wanted to drive his fist into the locker next to him.
“Listen, everyone! Drop the subject at once, it is inappropriate to keep talking about it! What our classmates do in private is none of our business or concern!”
Katsuki initially rolled his eyes at Iida’s announcement. He could picture his stern face, his arms flailing robotically as he scolded everyone for muttering about it under their breaths, as if they couldn’t help themselves. He rolled his eyes at it at first, but he quietly appreciated the effort. It was bad enough that this whole mess had started, but at least somebody had the balls to fucking say something. Katsuki knew he couldn’t have been the one, he would’ve screamed at every single one of those assholes until his voice went hoarse.
Katsuki set a reminder for himself to thank Iida later. For him and Izuku’s sake, he knew Izuku probably would appreciate it more than he did. Iida was his friend, after all.
There was just dispersed chatter after Iida’s announcement, incoherent mumbling that Katsuki couldn’t make out, probably for the better. He didn’t want to hear it anyway. He opened up his locker, snatching his clothes out of it and throwing them down to the bench so he could change into them.
“Hey.”
The voice made Katsuki jump, and only agitated him further. He really didn’t want to talk, to anyone really, and it pissed him off that someone had followed him out of the showers.
Once he spun on his heel and saw Todoroki, he nearly blew up the entire block.
“What the hell do you want?” Katsuki groaned, stepping into his pants and zipping the fly up, almost breaking the zipper with how violently he pulled it up.
Todoroki exhaled and folded his arms across his chest. “Wanted to make sure you were alright. After all that.”
Half and Half cared about him now? Katsuki almost had to laugh.
“I’m just fuckin’ peachy.” He replied, shoving his arms through the holes of his button down, fingers fumbling with the bottom button, much to his annoyance.
They both had a history with Izuku. Katsuki’s history might have been less straightforward, more complicated and less lovey-dovey and obvious than Todoroki’s history, but despite their differences, they still had a history nonetheless.
Todoroki took a step toward him. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but this isn’t as bad as you think it is.”
Katsuki turned his head toward him, eyebrows furrowed and face scrunched into the most dumbfounded, annoyed expression he could conjure.
“What the hell do you know?!” Katsuki spat back at him, turning around to fully face him now, finally getting the bottom button of his shirt through the god damn hole.
Katsuki’s entire life was falling in shambles, and Icy Hot had the audacity to tell him it wasn’t that bad? He wasn’t the one having to go through it, he wasn’t the one who had to deal with everyone wanting to pry into his sex life, he wasn’t the one who now had to worry about anyone and everyone in this entire fucking school knowing about him and Izuku and how they’d had sex over the long weekend.
Todoroki stayed just as calm as he always was, and though Katsuki was still pissed off at him, he had to give him credit for that, at least.
“It’s shitty, I’m not going to tell you that it’s not. But is everyone knowing about you and Midoriya and whatever you do together really that bad?”
Katsuki opened his mouth to protest, and he had every intention to, but nothing came out. He wanted to yell and berate the fuck out of Todoroki but he couldn’t.
Because despite not wanting to admit it, Todoroki was right.
Katsuki let out a low, annoyed breath, turning to close his locker and slinging his blazer onto his shoulders. “You tryin’ to tell me something, Icy Hot?”
Katsuki hoped he would catch on to what he was saying, because he didn’t have the mental capacity to continue to be subtle.
Todoroki chuckled. “No, don’t worry about that.” He laughed under his breath, though slightly awkwardly. Katsuki hated that he enjoyed watching someone feel embarrassed; it made him feel better about himself and his current situation.
Todoroki cleared his throat. “He wanted something that I couldn’t give him, and I’ve moved on from him and what we had, we’re better as friends.” Todoroki pressed his lips together.
“And I saw the way he looked at you, anyway.”
Katsuki could hear the hesitation in his voice before he spoke, the sentence sucking the breath out of both of them. He was over Deku, but Katsuki couldn’t help but sense a hint of past jealousy in his tone.
A beat of silence fell between them.
He sighed. “It’ll all be alright, Bakugou.” Todoroki picked up his bag, slinging it over his arm and patting Katsuki on the shoulder, hesitantly, before he walked off. He didn’t give Katsuki time to shrug off his hand, the bastard.
Katsuki huffed once he was far enough away, bending down to tie his shoes and grumbling under his breath.
Fucking Icy Hot and his stupid fucking kindness, where the hell did that come from, anyway?! Katsuki was, and had been, fucking his ex-boyfriend, shouldn’t he be at least a little bit irritated by that?!
Katsuki tied his shoelaces a little too tight, but he didn’t fucking care. He just wanted to get the hell out of the locker room at this point, he could leave without his pants for all he cared.
“Bakugou.”
Katsuki tilted his head back and had to use every ounce of the very little bit of patience he had left not to scream. He spun back around, his backpack swinging and hitting his back from the force of his movement. “What?!”
It was the bird.
Tokoyami stepped back at Katsuki’s brief outburst, eyes widening for a moment before he softly chuckled and shook his head in reply. “I apologize that you had to go through that display in the showers. Kaminari seems remorseful, but still, it shouldn’t have happened.”
Katsuki tried his best to be polite and not roll his eyes. He didn’t need Tokoyami to relay that back to him. “Yeah,” He started, eyes on the ground, his feet shuffling in place. “Thanks.”
“I don’t know what you and Midoriya are, and frankly I don’t really care, but it’s not worth losing it over what other people have to say.”
Katsuki stared down at his shoes, at his too-tight laces, and slowly picked his head back up to look at Tokoyami.
Tokoyami just continued to stand and stare. “And besides,” The bird cracked a smirk, starting to walk past him now, “since when have you cared about what anyone thought?”
Twice, twice in ten minutes someone had left Katsuki speechless. Did Icy Hot and Nevermore have a fucking pact or something?!
Was he always this easy to read?! Fucking god…
Katsuki gathered his things and quickly hightailed out of the locker room as quickly as he possibly could, bypassing anyone else who wanted to give him any more unwanted comments.
The walk back to the dorms was quiet, by a shred of luck that Katsuki somehow had. No one chased him down to talk, no one caught up to him, he was left alone, just him and the cicadas.
The dorms themselves were quiet, too. There were a few people in the common area, Todoroki and Tokoyami and a few others, a couple of the girls maybe.
By default, Katsuki figured they knew, too. Nothing ever stayed a secret for long, especially with 1A. A text had been sent around, surely. Someone must’ve sent something.
He could see Kirishima’s red hair out of the corner of his vision, watching as someone else he couldn’t quite make out set their hand on his shoulder to keep him from going up to Katsuki.
Good thing, because the last thing Katsuki wanted right now was to talk to anyone else.
He pressed the button on the elevator and stood there for what felt like a week before the doors finally parted.
He didn’t see Deku anywhere. Which was to be expected, but it still made his chest squeeze knowing that the nerd was cooped up in his fucking room, probably panicking out of his mind.
Katsuki sighed, and the elevator opened again.
Todoroki and Tokoyami were right. He didn’t know if they had a joint agreement to say what they did to him, but they were both right, and it really pissed Katsuki the fuck off.
Everyone finding out was inevitable. It was either that or he and Izuku go separate ways, never talk to each other, never have any sort of semblance of a relationship with each other. Which, Katsuki knew, was impossible, no matter how hard they’d try they’d always come crawling back to one another. And people were bound to find out, sooner or later.
Katsuki let himself fall back onto his bed, and stared up at his dorm room ceiling.
Fuck. Tokoyami and Todoroki were right. They were right.
Damn it.
Fucking Todoroki and his “this isn’t as bad as you think it is,” fucking Tokoyami and his stupid fucking wisdom, fucking Kaminari with how much he just fucked everything up. Everything was going so smoothly before he decided to open his god damned mouth, and now Katsuki had to pick up the pieces and figure out how to live with that part of him now out in the open, like an unclothed wound.
Fuck. He hadn’t checked on Izuku yet.
Katsuki reached for his phone, swiping it open and getting to his messages before he hesitated.
He didn’t want to text him and make it worse. Katsuki didn’t want Izuku to panic even more than he already knew he was because he was texting him, but then again, would not texting him also make him panic?
Fuck it, he had to text the nerd.
Kacchan: Hey
The noise made Izuku’s heart stop for a second. God, who the hell was texting him? Was it Todoroki again or Iida or Kirishima or-
Kacchan. It was Kacchan.
He swallowed thickly before he answered.
Deku: Hi
Katsuki hated how long it took for him to reply. Usually the fucker would answer all too quickly, Katsuki would’ve just sent the message and the nerd would already have answered. Now, he took a few minutes, like he had hesitated.
Kacchan: How’re you doing?
Izuku almost laughed at the question. He knew Katsuki was just checking on him, but he already knew the answer. It was like he didn’t even need to answer him.
Deku: Shit. Earlier sucked
Katsuki chuckled under his breath. He figured as much.
Katsuki: Yeah it fucking did
Deku: I’m sorry it went like that
Katsuki set his jaw.
Katsuki: I’M sorry
Deku: You don’t have to be sorry
Katsuki felt like he did. If he was just less rigid, or told his friends to fuck off sooner, none of this would’ve happened.
None of this would’ve happened. But it did.
Izuku wasn’t the one who had to feel bad or had to apologize to anyone, granted neither did Katsuki, really, but if there was anyone who wasn’t at fault, it was Izuku.
Katsuki turned his phone off and set it beside him, groaning and closing his eyes tightly.
Katsuki didn’t realize how long he’d been laying in bed until he opened his eyes and it was dark.
It wasn’t like he even fell asleep, he just laid there with his eyes closed, thinking. About Todoroki and Tokoyami and Kaminari and Deku, about everything that had happened and everything that would happen now.
He sat up, grabbing his phone from the place where it had landed on his duvet, 8:32 beaming back up at him.
Katsuki’s first instinct was to text Izuku to tell him to come to his dorm in an hour.
He bit his lip at the thought. Guess they didn’t really have a reason to sneak around now.
Katsuki sat up, standing and shoving his hands into his uniform pockets, which he was still yet to change out of.
Fuck it.
He opened his door, making his way into the hallway, walking past people’s open dorms where he could faintly see some of them hanging around; Sero and Kirishima sharing a snack, Iida tutoring Kaminari in math.
Katsuki kept his gaze forward, and ignored the feeling of their eyes on him. He knew their stares were following him to Deku’s dorm, but he didn’t care.
He didn’t even stop at Deku’s door to knock, he just turned the knob and walked in, closing it behind him, shutting out everyone and their prying eyes.
Izuku shuffled in his bed, rolling over, sitting up halfway and blinking. “Kacchan-”
“It’s okay.” He lowered his voice, crawling onto the bed and setting himself next to Izuku. “I wanted to come.”
Izuku relaxed, just slightly, nodding and lowering his eyes to his hands, which were nervously picking at the edge of his duvet. “So, are we…”
Katsuki blinked, cocking an eyebrow up. “I’m not really in the mood to fuck, Deku.”
Izuku blushed and almost choked on his spit. “No, no! That’s not, that’s not what I meant,” He chuckled to keep his blush at bay, trying not to focus on the awkwardness. “Just, I… are we, you know, are we done?”
Izuku didn’t really know what to think when he saw that Katsuki was the one who opened his door. It’d been a few hours since their last text, and given the circumstances of the day, he immediately jumped to the worst case scenario.
Katsuki despised that Izuku even thought that. “No, we… we’re not over, no.”
Relief splayed all over Izuku’s face, like he was exhaling out a breath he’d been holding since the after-training showers. Izuku tried not to let his smile take over his whole face, but it was hard not to. “Thank goodness.”
Katsuki flickered his eyes over Izuku’s face, leaning in and capturing his lips, just for a moment, just to ease any other nerves he knew Izuku had.
“Stop overthinking, nerd.” Katsuki whispered, breathing between kisses, his forehead pressed to Izuku’s.
Izuku giggled and pursed his lips together. “It’s late,” he started, “you’ll be cranky tomorrow if you don’t go to bed soon.”
Katsuki pushed him away playfully, elbowing him in the arm. “Fuck off!” He laughed, falling down onto the bed at the same time Izuku did. As if he could be any more cranky than he was today.
They both crashed down in a fit of giggles, fixed into their usual positions on the mattress.
It was like they were in Katsuki’s dorm, like they always were, after fucking, when Izuku didn’t want to go back to his own room, when Katsuki didn’t want him to leave.
Their backs faced each other, bodies not touching. It was all the same, minus a few circumstances.
Katsuki stared at the wall in front of him, catching the edge of one of the seemingly dozens of All Might posters Izuku had hung up.
Izuku was doing the same, except he was thinking about letting his leg creep toward Katsuki, just to be bold, just to let a part of them touch.
Katsuki rolled over, slinging his arm over Izuku’s middle and pulling him toward his chest. Izuku melted into his touch immediately, shifting himself so Katsuki could move his face into his shoulder.
Izuku had never felt so warm.