A Comedy of Assholes
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The Care and Naming of Hawkes by M_A_V, Saiya_tina, Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
20 May 2017
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Summary
Among the common people of Ferelden, accidents, disease, and malnutrition frequently end the lives of young children. The tradition, therefore, became to name a healthy child in their second or third year. Malcolm Hawke's second child is due within days, by the time he takes his first to the Chantry, to be named. The tradition continues, and the second takes the nameless place of the first, until it is his turn.
Series
- Part 1 of A Comedy of Assholes
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The First Son by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
12 Mar 2015
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Sort of a prequel to Rhapsody in Ass Major, so there are three of Hawke. Warning for gruesome but not terribly explicit application of Crushing Prison.
Malcolm Hawke had always expected one of his children would be a mage. It was nearly inescapable, between Leandra's family and himself. But, he hadn't expected this.
Series
- Part 2 of A Comedy of Assholes
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The Second Son by M_A_V
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
20 Oct 2015
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Chances were, one of Malcolm's children would be a mage. He hadn't been counting on two.
Artemis Hawke's magic manifestation. A prequel to Rhapsody, set after The First Son.
Series
- Part 3 of A Comedy of Assholes
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5+1: Brotherly Love by M_A_V, Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
03 Jul 2015
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Summary
Five times Cormac and Artemis Hawke got themselves into and back out of trouble, and one time somebody had to go get dad.
Series
- Part 4 of A Comedy of Assholes
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How(e) Long Has This Gone On by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types
19 Nov 2016
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Summary
In theory, Nathaniel's meant to learn swordsmanship, marry Elissa Cousland, and become the Arl of Amaranthine. At least, that's what he's expected to do. But, mostly, Elissa lays him out on the practise field and laughs hysterically at his misfortune -- until they get a little older and she finds other things to do with her wins.
Series
- Part 5 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Breaking Hearts and Windows by M_A_V, Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd) for Shadowfire_RavenPheonix
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II
12 Mar 2016
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Summary
Theron Mahariel has had his eye on Artemis Hawke since the first day he saw that drop-dead gorgeous shemlen standing in the road. And Artie's brother keeps bringing him around. And Theron's feeling pretty lucky, today -- even after things go stupidly wrong.
Series
- Part 6 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Summary
Artemis Hawke is deeply in lust with the wrong man. A more reasonable choice doesn't help. Neither does the whiskey.
Series
- Part 7 of A Comedy of Assholes
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The Pranksters of Kinloch Hold by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types
25 Jul 2020
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Summary
The Circle of Magi was an unforgiving environment to grow up in, and while some mages thrived in its tightly-structured confines, others threw themselves out the windows of the upper storeys, just to be sure they'd never have to go back. In between were the ones who grated at the edges, secretly indulging in everything from the basic facets of life denied them to the study of forbidden magics, from wild escape attempts to filling the templar barracks with bees. These were the Pranksters of Kinloch Hold.
[Summary altered, 2017.06.23]
Series
- Part 8 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Summary
The sixth attempt went even less well than usual.
Series
- Part 9 of A Comedy of Assholes
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A Winding Road Leads Home by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
29 Feb 2016
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Summary
Theron Mahariel left his clan, a few summers ago, on a quest for the shemlen of his dreams, who'd gone off in the night, with the rest of that family. Instead, he found a beautiful flat-eared girl, who made a name for herself slaughtering fuckboys in the streets of Denerim. So, he's done what any sane man would do, and brought the Bane of Denerim home to meet his clan.
Series
- Part 10 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Sereda Aeducan undertakes her first commission as a warleader, amid speculation that she and not her older brother may become the next king of Orzammar. But, once she is betrayed by her own family, banished to the Deep Roads, to die at the hands of the darkspawn horde, there seems to be no way to reclaim that legacy. But, not everything ends as it begins...
Series
- Part 11 of A Comedy of Assholes
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The Harrowing of Cullen Rutherford by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins
18 Mar 2017
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Summary
The Harrowing is a test to ensure that mages can resist the lure of demons. But, who tests the templars, to ensure they're able to recognise and dispatch other things that return from the Fade? First Enchanter Irving has a solution to this problem that he's been using for almost twenty years, and he calls upon one of his most trusted students to help him and Commander Greagoir pass judgement on a new templar.
Series
- Part 12 of A Comedy of Assholes
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How(e) Dreadfully Wangsty by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
25 Jun 2016
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Summary
Nate Howe has had it bad for Elissa Cousland, since they were kids. But, after the Blight, she's gone, and everyone says his father killed her, but he's not convinced. First he's going to restore the Howe holdings to Howe hands, and then he's going to clear his father's name... except not. Now, he's stuck in a filthy cell, dreaming of the woman he once loved.
Forgive me the punny title.
And turn down the Morrissey and back away from the bottle, Nate.Series
- Part 13 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Sorry About the Blood by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd) for HeroMaggie, M_A_V
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Dragon Age - All Media Types
14 Mar 2015
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Summary
The extended remix of 'The Flagpole' #3. Anders and Nate get extremely drunk, and then they get extremely naked.
Series
- Part 14 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Who Invented Summer? by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Dragon Age - All Media Types
06 Apr 2015
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Summary
Nate hasn't learnt not to wear smalls in this weather. Anders would like to get laid sometime this week. These two situations do not fit well together. Mayhem ensues. Anders almost loses a nipple.
Series
- Part 15 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Yet Another Thing We're Not Talking About Sober by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, Dragon Age - All Media Types
12 Aug 2015
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Summary
Anders has some unusual desires, sometimes, and he's not so good at 'no', when it's an implication and not a command. Nate's too drunk to catch on that Anders really means it, and keeps trying to brush off the demand as a joke.
(This is referenced a couple of times in Rhapsody in Ass Major, and I figured I should get off my ass and write it.)
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"You seem to be under the mistaken impression," Anders started, and Nathaniel hated the way Anders could string together complicated sentences while too drunk to commit the evening to memory, "that your need to pass water somehow requires me to get off your knob."
Series
- Part 16 of A Comedy of Assholes
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A Proud Tradition of Assholes by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
13 Aug 2016
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Summary
Nathaniel Howe is the latest in a long line of assholes, but at least he's not a traitor. Anders is reflexively disgusting and antagonistic, but no one dies on his watch -- not even the dead guy. In some ways, they deserve each other, and every other break the Wardens cut them.
Series
- Part 17 of A Comedy of Assholes
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Away From the Sea by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd) for Inkwell14
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
13 May 2016
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Summary
Anton Hawke has been making a name for himself in Lowtown, winning an obscene number of the games he can get himself into. He's a bit surprised, though, when the pirate he only won one game against, years ago, in Gwaren, shows up in Kirkwall.
Series
- Part 18 of A Comedy of Assholes
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How(e) Touching by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
15 Jul 2016
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Summary
"Fergus Cousland can eat my entire ass for breakfast, in the middle of a Chantry mass," Nathaniel snarled, making to wad the letter up.
"You're going to express that sentiment about another six times before you get to the important part."
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Nathaniel receives some unexpected news. Perhaps not all the Couslands are dead. Maybe the one he's been mourning still lives.Series
- Part 19 of A Comedy of Assholes
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A Sleepless Night by Ywain Penbrydd (penbrydd)
Fandoms: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age - All Media Types
01 May 2015
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Summary
Post-Tranquility. Cormac Hawke hasn't heard from Anders in a few days, and he's worried. Never mind that he barely knows the guy, that was a shitheap of unfortunate events and every mage's nightmare. He finds Anders doing a terrible impression of 'just fine'.
Series
- Part 20 of A Comedy of Assholes