in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“Eddie Diaz,” she says, in a voice that makes Buck cower, “tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”
“I don’t know what it looks like,” Eddie huffs. “My fucking eyes are closed.”
“He didn’t see me!” Buck steps in. “And I didn’t see him either. We’re playing by the rules.”
who would win? a centuries-old tradition that forbids you from seeing your spouse on your wedding day, or two silly firefighters in love?
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“Uh, Chim,” he says, “why would we be kissing each other in the first place?”
“Oh, no reason,” Chimney shrugs. “That’s why I figured you’d be on board. Just don’t kiss each other for a week, which you already do. Easy money.”
spoiler: it's not easy money.
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I didn’t know what it meant when you kissed me up against that counter, Buck wants to say. He wants to name every place that’s hurt to see for the past three years. Wants to remind Eddie of the way they used to be in bed together, quiet and all-consuming, the way their hands would curl together on Eddie’s stomach in their sleep. Wants to ask why Ana isn’t there anymore, why Eddie doesn’t tell him to get out when Buck’s spending the seventh consecutive night on his couch.
Buck wants, and wants, and wants.
Isn’t that the story of his life.
or the one in which, a couple of weeks after meeting each other, buck and eddie fell in love, broke up, and then forgot to fall out of it.
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“I mean, I’ve been writing them for a few months, unofficially. I wrote a draft the morning after you proposed to me,” he says, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.
Eddie sinks down onto the armrest. “You wrote a draft of your wedding vows after we got home from a five-alarm fire?”
in which buck and eddie vow to love each other, and everyone involved cries.
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“Buck,” Eddie says, and tugs on one of the uneven strings of Buck’s hoodie, and then Buck’s crying again.
“You’ve gotta stop talking to me, man,” he tries to laugh, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do with his goddamn hands, because he should absolutely be reaching out, should be holding Buck close, but he’s so fucking afraid.
in which tears bring clarity.
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It's horrifying. Eddie's brain feels like it's stop-starting as he stares at the plastic frog that's turning in a very, very slow circle over his kitchen table.
"I wanted to help decorate," Christopher says, all sunny, his front teeth poking out. "It's nice, right?"
or, christopher diaz, an icon of our time, has had enough of his dads not being together.
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“I miss her,” Buck sighs. “I mean, I always miss her, but it feels—“
“Different,” Eddie nods. “Her world’s about to get so much bigger, and we’re still just her boring old dads.”
“I didn’t even cry when we dropped her off,” Buck says, curling into Eddie’s warmth, hiding his face in the familiar crook of Eddie’s neck. “I thought I had it handled.”
a hairbrush, a lasagna, and two dads just trying to make it through the first day of school.
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Buck shakes his head. "Stupid," he tells the tabletop, and then hides his face in his hands with a groan. "Love makes me stupid."
"Love?" Hen asks, taking a breath to say something else that's cut off when Chimney jumps in his chair and slaps her on the shoulder, spilling her coffee on the table.
"You took that picture for somebody," he says, pointing at Buck.
or, the one with the thirst trap shenanigans.
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Today, he wakes up with Eddie half on top of him, head resting on Buck’s chest, his thigh thrown over Buck’s, holding him close with his fingers fitting into the spaces between Buck’s ribs. It feels forbidden to dip his chin just so, enough to hide his face in Eddie’s hair, to breathe him in.
All of it feels forbidden, but Buck does it anyway. He keeps doing it, keeps taking, because the measures are relaxing and Eddie misses Christopher and all of this is so painfully temporary. He keeps taking for as long as he’s allowed, and they don’t talk about it, ever, just roll out from under the covers.
in which love is finally allowed to exist in the light of day.
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“Hey,“ someone says, and it takes Eddie a deep breath and a few blinks to remember that there's a person there. Slowly, he peels his eyes away from where Buck disappeared and lays them on this man Buck apparently picked for him.
Chase is—big. Only a little taller than Eddie, but much broader in the shoulders, and he's smiling under a full, dark beard. Eddie can't quite tell what color his eyes are for the muted, red-tinted light, but there's no mistaking the way they drag over him head to toe, slow, deliberate.
in which eddie has a beer, dances with a stranger, and does some borderline indecent things in the street with the love of his life.
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- Part 10 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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Buck opens his mouth, then closes it again. For a blink, he looks up at the cereal stuck to the ceiling, three perfectly round colorful loops. On their way down, his eyes bypass Eddie and go straight to his own hands.
“I think,” he says, and his shoulders hunch in, “I’m going to get out of your hair. Today.”
Eddie freezes. “Out of—what?”
or, buck leaves, then comes back home again.
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- Part 11 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“Did you—kick everybody out?” Eddie asks, pointing over his shoulder. He somehow manages to make it look cute, and Buck really has no idea how he's supposed to bear another twenty-three hours and fifty-nine minutes of this.
“Maybe,” Chimney shrugs, elbows on the kitchen island, a celery stick hanging out of the corner of his mouth like a cigarette. “Everyone knows we run this shift anyway.”
in which eddie finally gets a cake.
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- Part 12 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“Are you?” Buck asks. “Happy about me scaring off everyone I go out with?”
Eddie frowns, and his hand comes up to circle Buck's wrist before he's even aware of it. “Buck, that's not—”
“Because I do,” Buck says, and he starts trembling, tangible where their skin is pressed together. “I scare them off. Do you really think I'm bad enough that no one ever wants a second date?”
in which buck tries dating, and eddie has an embarrasing number of oh moments.
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- Part 13 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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And Buck had, honestly, just about kept it together through the drive and the wait before Chim opened the door and this particular bout of nausea. He doesn’t have it in him to hold it in anymore, has to tell someone, so he takes a painful breath and says:
“I slept with Eddie.”
Chimney brightens. “Oh, con—“ he stops himself when Buck whines. “Not congrats?”
in which buck gets drunk and sleeps with eddie. except does he?
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- Part 14 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“I do know that video,” he says, holding on to Buck's hand for dear life. “You showed me. When you asked me to come pick you up from the hospital, actually.”
Buck blinks. “I'm in the hospital,” he says. “And you're hot.”
“So I'm your husband?” Eddie laughs, and then keeps laughing, a little hysterically.
in which buck is a little high, and shirts are difficult.
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- Part 15 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“And it always—I always get all red and stupid when he smiles that way—”
“I'm aware,” Hen cuts in.
“And I just had all these feelings. I had to tell someone, and I can't tell Buck or Chris, and I want you to actually stay my friend, so.”
“So you told the biggest newspaper in the country.”
Eddie sighs. “Second biggest,” he says, one of the many things Buck has taught him over the years. “But that's—yeah. That's definitely a thing I did.”
in which eddie accidentally waxes poetic about buck to the new york times.
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- Part 16 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)
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“Buck's here,” he says. Hen and Chim raise their eyebrows in perfect coordination. “Have to make sure he doesn't get himself into trouble.”
“He's been getting himself into trouble since 1992,” Chimney says, pulling out his phone, probably to make fun of Eddie in his and Maddie's text thread. “And I'm pretty sure he's right at home in a bar.”
The unfortunate thing is, Eddie really can't argue with that. It's easy to see Buck, somehow, even through the throngs of people crowding around tables and flagging down the lone bartender for drinks: one elbow on the bartop, head tilted, leaning down with half-lidded eyes as he says something to the short blonde he's been talking to.
in which eddie, very literally, has a brush with buck 1.0.
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- Part 17 of in the morning our arms ache (prompt fills)