The Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life of a Pirate King's Husband
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Being married to the King of the Pirates had its upsides and its downsides. If you wanted to know which particular side was winning on that particular day, then Law would tell you that it usually depended on whether or not Luffy had caused any type of international incident or migraine-inducing disaster in the last couple hours. It was also entirely possible for him to do both in one day, but Law preferred not to think about that if he didn't have to.
If he was being honest, he needed more coffee. A lot more coffee.
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"I heard you're causing problems, Luffy."
The Pirate King pouted and said, "No, I'm not! These assholes started it! I'm just showing them how stupid their ideas are!"
"Ah, yes, they want to kidnap and kill me."
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