PhoenixPixie

Ilya Rozanov kissing Shane Hollander at the 2017 All Stars game.



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    30 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Who in the fuck would give Ilya Rozanov a baby? Not Ilya Rozanov, that’s for fucking sure.

    Or

    Ilya Rozanov falls in love.

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    29 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The internet gets confirmation: Shane Hollander has a girlfriend. Called Lily.

    Ever considered how many Lilys there are in North America? Or how many people with parasocial delusions?

    Twitter is flooded with #findLily pretenders.


    @insomniac_bookworm42 | Did you learn Photoshop at one of those free “Computers for Senior Citizens” classes at the library?

    @insomniac_bookworm42 | If not, you should ask for a refund

    @preoccupied_educator | this is insulting to those of us who make weird self-insert clout chasing parasocial photoshopped pictures of ourselves with celebrities for a living

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    27 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    26 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, Mr. Raiders fan,” Rozanov calls.

    Constable Sullivan pauses.

    “I get a phone call, yes?”

    “Sure.” He pulls out his own phone. “Do you know the number?”

    Rozanov nods. The numbers all come out in a rush, as though he’s memorized it in one long string and can’t think of any of them separately.

    It’s a Montreal area code, the constable notes, as he types it in. As the phone rings, he puts it on speaker and asks Rozanov: “Who is it?”

    “Shane Hollander.”

    “Fuck off. Who is it really?”

    Or: in the midst of the Rose breakup, the Raiders win a game in Montreal. Unable to do what he normally does after Montreal games, Ilya goes out to a club, gets super drunk, and ends up getting picked up by Montreal police for public intoxication. Sitting in a holding cell, the only number he can remember is Shane's.

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    23 May 2026