1 - 20 of 34 Works by dadvans
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"I have long believed that it is only right and appropriate that before one sleeps with someone, one should be able—if called upon to do so—to make them a proper omelet in the morning. Surely that kind of civility and selflessness would be both good manners and good for the world." Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw
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Buck knows a lot of random trivia. Tommy falls in love with him one fact at a time.
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Buck’s first thought is that Tommy’s Muay Thai shorts are halfway to breaking California’s indecency laws. They’re already thigh highs, but then they also have a goddamn slit so far up that Buck can see a hint of the tiny compression shorts holding his cup.
Buck’s second thought is one incoherent curse at himself for never looking into Muay Thai during his original self discovery world tour back in his twenties. He’d probably have figured out some shit a lot sooner had that been the case. You live and you fucking learn, evidently.
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Sidney Crosby has one social media account.
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The Heavenly Ken doll is released on a Thursday. He shows up at Kentropy Fields, the trailer park between where the beach gets too rocky and the scrublands start, in a white snap button shirt and white linen pants, holding his suitcase of accessories and looking around with that fresh out-the-box wonder.
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Jensen shifted enough to perk his ass up, but no way in hell was he going to pull himself apart for a photo, no matter what sweet nothings Misha could whisper. He said, “You’re gonna have to wine and dine me more if you think I’m gonna let you take a picture for your spank bank.”
And Misha laughed from his chest, unassuming and dangerous. “Who said this was for me? C’mon, show me your pretty hole and say hi to your wife.”
(A relationship in pictures)
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When Sid starts to feel left out of team pranks, Geno comes up with a plan to gaslight all of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
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Nate didn’t even know you could be gay in Halifax until he met Sid, and now he was adopting a kid with the guy.
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They’re like forty-five seconds post-coitus and that’s always when the most earnest, dumb, vulnerable shit weasles its way out of Jensen’s mouth. Shit like, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I could convince Kripke to make you my love interest next season for The Boys? We could do this all the time.”
Misha’s mouth travels up to press soft against the shell of his ear. “You wouldn’t feel weird about it?”
“People already think we’re fucking,” Jensen says.
“I mean, you do have my dick in your ass, so people would be right.”
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Author commentary for Say When.
Andy shrugged. “It’s not that. And you should stay. But we should talk. Sid and I—”It was him saying Sid and I that did it. Andy said Sid and I, and it didn’t just dawn on Nate that Andy and Sid were fucking: moreso the realization slammed into him like a truck doing one-twenty down the highway.
“You’re fucking,” he said, like an idiot.
“Yeah, I mean, we’re married, so,” Andy replied. “I guess, yeah. We’re fucking.”
Series
- Part 3 of maritime boys
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“Nate, I’m gonna murder you,” Sid said, but at the same time he shifted his hips up so he could unbutton his own jeans and slide them down mid-thigh.
“That’s not nice." Nate pressed a kiss to his jaw, before ducking underneath Sid's arm to get his face against Sid’s boxers, where his dick was already pitching a tent. He pressed another kiss to the slit in Sid’s boxers, Sid’s dick trying to poke through. “Daddy.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Sid said.
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The only time Nile ever sleeps a full night and feels remotely part of herself is when she stays with Nicky and Joe, who shampoo brains out of each other’s hair in the shower and clean their guns on the couch watching Chopped reruns.
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Sid glances up at Geno from over the top of the bedside bronze picture frame, holding it in place with his thumb right next to Anna’s smiling face. The recognition sinks in and weighs him back down into the mattress. The pieces of a puzzle he’s avoided putting together have fallen into place.
He’s been fucking Geno Malkin’s wife.
He just fucked Anna’s husband.
:: or, Evgeni Malkin went first overall in the 2004 NHL draft, and Sid's heart is a traitor.
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Sid sat on his bed, and could hear the frame creak with age and his weight. “So where’s the cardboard cutout you used to have of me?”
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Sid was winning. He had won. The adrenaline of holding the Stanley Cup over his head and the rush of kissing Andy tasted the exact same. All those looks, those touches, those years of Andy counting his heartbeat and showing him how to cook a chicken breast and naming all the bones in Sid’s body, all those quiet moments where they sat pressed up against each other and didn’t say anything at all were building to this victorious moment where they could finally have each other.
Series
- Part 1 of maritime boys
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Andy shrugged. “It’s not that. And you should stay. But we should talk. Sid and I—”
It was him saying Sid and I that did it. Andy said Sid and I, and it didn’t just dawn on Nate that Andy and Sid were fucking: moreso the realization slammed into him like a truck doing one-twenty down the highway.
“You’re fucking,” he said, like an idiot.
“Yeah, I mean, we’re married, so,” Andy replied. “I guess, yeah. We’re fucking.”
Series
- Part 2 of maritime boys
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Zhenya builds a house. Sid learns a language.
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Sid’s pink all over, eyes half moons as he lovingly accepts being razzed for what Zhenya can determine in a half second are his prominently hairless dick and balls. Every tenth of a second his gaze snaps over to Zhenya, and when he sees Zhenya watching him, he just gets pinker and squintier, like his smug face is going to stretch so tight it snaps.
He’s doing this on purpose.
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Bears are solitary creatures.
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People make babies happen all the time.
Geno and Anna make a baby because they’re in love and they want to start a family.
Geno and Sid make a baby because they fuck up.