toadlily
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When the zoo finds itself in the path of the hurricane, Ed and his panther find themselves sheltering in place with the strange keeper and his twenty flamingos. Ed's been fascinated since he first saw Stede, but will proximity spark something more between them?
“Arthur, where are y— Ed!”
It sends a thrill through Ed to hear Stede’s tone change from its previous exasperated tone. It shouldn’t. Stede sounds like that about everyone. Stede sounds like that about the slightly dry tuna mayonnaise sandwiches at the monthly meeting.
“Hey.”
Stede is wearing his zoo-issued polo, of course, the logo new and crisp, barely out of the plastic wrapper, and his khaki shorts are pretty standard, but his wellies are nearly the same pink as the flamboyance of flamingos trailing behind him, with added sparkle.
Ed doesn’t smile when he sees them. The corners of his mouth might turn up, but that’s different. He’s been away for a month and he’s missed anyone being so inescapably Stede, with his flamingos gathered around him loosely, and lovingly eyeing the feed bucket he’s carrying.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,118
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 532
- Kudos:
- 225
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 4,173
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
29 Aug 2026
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Summary
Stede Bonnet boards a flight to Honolulu for one last family holiday before he and Mary quietly end their marriage. Instead, a hijacking leaves both pilots dead, armed men outside the locked cockpit door, and Stede alone at the controls of a Boeing 737 he has no idea how to fly.
Hundreds of miles away, air traffic controller Ed Teach becomes the only voice Stede can trust. With more than a hundred lives depending on them, Ed must talk him through turning, descending and landing it—one switch, one breath and one increasingly intimate radio conversation at a time.
Somewhere between the Pacific and the runway, terror becomes trust, trust becomes intimacy, and the man guiding Stede home begins to sound like someone he cannot bear to lose.
Series
- Part 1 of Bonnet 417
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The Fast & the Fluffiest, Or: UNLIKELY ANIMAL FRIENDS RETIRED RACING DOG AND ALPACA LOVE EACH OTHER REAL NOT CLICKBAIT by bizarrelittlemew, serpent_and_dahlia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
21 Jul 2026
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“Stede,” Ed said slowly, and even to his own ears he sounded a bit faint, “why do you have a llama in the living room?”
Stede closed the front door behind him with a sigh. “Actually, Jeff’s an alpaca.”
Felt like that was sort of missing the point here, but sure. Ed would play ball. “Okay. Stede, why do you have an alpaca in your living room?”**
Other guys have their mid-life crisis, they buy an irresponsible sports car. But Edward Teach—formerly one of the greatest Formula 1 Drivers of all time, now Just Some Guy—already has a sports car. Actually, he has six.Ergo: Ed buys an irresponsible hobby farm instead. Weirdly, this does not fill the hole in his heart.
But his highly neurotic rescue dog and hot new vet boyfriend might...
If Stede would fucking call him back.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,909
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 389
- Kudos:
- 186
- Bookmarks:
- 33
- Hits:
- 2,453
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
21 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
The Fast & the Fluffiest, Or: UNLIKELY ANIMAL FRIENDS RETIRED RACING DOG AND ALPACA LOVE EACH OTHER REAL NOT CLICKBAIT
by bizarrelittlemew, serpent_and_dahlia -
patience is the hallmark of the old and infirm by Calycanth, littlefingies
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Feb 2026
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Set in a nebulous time a decade or two pre-canon. Mary fools around with Anne and Eddie. And maybe with Jack, if he can keep his fucking mouth shut and follow orders.
Featuring art by Caly that will knock your socks off.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,407
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 1,123
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
25 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede and Ed's relationship ended months ago, but Stede hasn't been able to let it go. He's amazed when Ed agrees to participate in The Ex-House with him, sharing a tiny house on live television for six weeks to win the grand prize.
“Hello, Edward!” he says, forcing brightness. Remembers to look at his face - two seconds at a time is perfectly acceptable, look at the face, not directly into the eyes - tries to remember to turn his lips up into a friendly smile. Behind Ed, the door whooshes closed again and leaves them in silence.
Ed’s fully clad in leather, which is always a good look for him. Slight hint of eyeliner. One arm bare, showing off the winding snake tattooed into his skin. Beard trimmed short. Hair up, as well, properly styled. Small silver dagger earring dangling from one ear.
He looks unapproachably hot. The kind of guy that would skim over Stede without a second glance. The kind of guy that would sniff out Stede’s oddness in a second and push Stede down as a way to lift himself up. There are probably people watching on their televisions right now, wondering how the hell the two people in this room were ever together in the first place.
Series
- Part 1 of The Ex-House
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,131
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,300
- Kudos:
- 528
- Bookmarks:
- 128
- Hits:
- 8,838
Bookmarked by Mostly Harmless (toadlily)
30 May 2026