Chapter Text
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"Shit, shit, shit. I'm late! I'm so late!"
Phil barely graces his family with a short I'm home before he runs up the stairs, his mum's Philip! Clean your room! following him as he reaches the top. Breathless, of course.
The room is a mess. He boots his laptop. While it's starting up, he throws his backpack on the floor and sits on the bed, desperately trying to fix his hair, just in case.
By the time he logs on to Skype, it's 10:21 PM.
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Phil ^_^ (10:21 PM)
Hey Dan!
I'm so sorry I'm late :(
I know you don't mind but sorry I'm late! :(
I was trying to get home as fast as I could, I promise!
I think I'm a bit later than usual, are you still here?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:21 PM)
phiiiiiiiiiil
yes i am
although my mums been yelling at me to go to sleep lol
but
i am a rebel xD
Phil ^_^ (10:22 PM)
Hahaha
I bet you are, Dan
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:23 PM)
whats that supposed to mean! :p
i am well and truly a rebel
also
have you been kidnapped by a shark? xD
Phil ^_^ (10:24 PM)
No, it was a llama actually
It took me hostage and refused to let go until my parents paid it 3 quid
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:24 PM)
oh
that was becky the llama
i sent it to kidnap u.
i wanted the 3 quid for maltesers.
Phil ^_^ (10:25 PM)
Surely you could kidnap just about anyone for 3 quid?! Your plan is flawed.
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:21 PM)
youre a reliable source
i know your family must have at least 3 quid
AND.
i know u so i know u would pay up just to not be eaten by my super llama.
Phil ^_^ (10:26 PM)
What if I didn't pay anything? ;)
What if I didn't pay anything? =o
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"Ah, fuck it."
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Phil ^_^ (10:26 PM)
What about if I refused to pay anything? What would this strange llama do =/
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:27 PM)
good question.
the original plan was that it would eat you
but maybe id just have it send you to me
Phil ^_^ (10:27 PM)
Should I be scared? =o
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:28 PM)
maybe
that depends
ask yourself if having to be stuck with me is scary xD
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Phil takes a deep breath. His cheeks feel awfully hot.
It must be due to the temperature in the room.
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Phil ^_^ (10:28 PM)
That depends on what would happen next :p
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He minimizes the chat window.
He can't bear to wait for Dan to reply.
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danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:28 PM)
i would just lock you in my basement forever xD
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:29 PM)
that way you would never leave
Phil ^_^ (10:29 PM)
Perhaps I shouldn't have paid up then! :p
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:31 PM)
ugh
hold on
mum's flipping out =/
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He exhales.
Voice of reason tells him that this is for the best, but the twinge of disappointment eating away at his subconscious disagrees.
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Phil ^_^ (10:31 PM)
Maybe you should just go to bed? I don't wanna keep you..
Phil ^_^ (10:32 PM)
I'm sorry I'm so late today
James dragged me to the cinema and I missed my bus home :[
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:34 PM)
im back
ive got 10 minutes before she disowns me
and its ok
was it a good one? :P
Phil ^_^ (10:35 PM)
I don't know really xD
I was kinda distracted
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:35 PM)
by what? :o
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Theoretically, he shouldn't say anything.
He's kind of talked himself into a corner.
Intentionally? He honestly can't tell.
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Phil ^_^ (10:36 PM)
All kinds of stuff =x
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:37 PM)
like what?
Phil ^_^ (10:37 PM)
Thinking
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:37 PM)
thinking about?
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Somehow, knowing that Dan is bound to leave in a moment gives him the courage he's been lacking for the past couple of weeks.
Just a little push.
With that push, he takes things further than he's ever taken them before.
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Phil ^_^ (10:38 PM)
You
I was thinking that it'd be nice to be going to the cinema with you instead
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Phil minimizes the chat window again. His heart is racing as he waits for the response.
Two minutes pass. Might as well have been two years.
Phil waits an additional thirty seconds before checking the message.
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danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:42 PM)
so you think of that too..?
Phil ^_^ (10:43 PM)
What do you mean?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:43 PM)
are you really gonna make me say it hahah
Phil ^_^ (10:43 PM)
...Yes :P
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:44 PM)
ok um
so you think it would be nice to hang out with me?
like irl
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:45 PM)
is that what u meant =x
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His throat is made of sandpaper and his palms are made of sweat.
His heart, on the other hand, is made of erratic, quickened heartbeats racing deep inside his chest.
And it's meaningless, all this. Just words on a screen in a dark bedroom.
Meaningless.
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Phil ^_^ (10:45 PM)
Yeah
I mean
More than nice really
Is that okay? :s
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:45 PM)
phil
Phil ^_^ (10:46 PM)
Yeah?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:46 PM)
obviously its okay
you spork xD
i just
i didnt think you thought about that too
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Too .
Phil knows what Dan means, knows all too well.
But does he?
The internet leaves so much to interpretation. So much room to misunderstand.
Too much.
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danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:47 PM)
coz i do
a lot :x
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The dam breaks without warning.
His fingers fly across the keyboard without control.
The dam is long forgotten by the end of the sentence.
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Phil ^_^ (10:48 PM)
The whole day today I kept thinking how nice it would be to just go out with you =x
I mean
go out to the movies
Or something
Get some popcorn and make fun of the bad dialogue and just
I dont know just see you, you know?
Phil ^_^ (10:49 PM)
You don't hate me do you =/
I'm sorry if this comes off as creepy or something :[ I don't mean it that way
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:50 PM)
jesus phil
u couldnt be creepy if you tried :p
i think about that a lot
the other night
i was lying in bed
listening to muse
and i thought like
who else would appreciate this exact moment with me
and i instantly knew that it would be you
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:51 PM)
i felt kinda lonely then...
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Phil's breath has been taken from him rather abruptly, but he adjusts.
The conversation is far too interesting and meaningful for him to just up and faint, smack in the middle of it.
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Phil ^_^ (10:52 PM)
I felt lonely today too =/
I often do when I'm not talking to you
Even though James was there the whole time
Phil ^_^ (10:53 PM)
It would be awesome to show you around town, take you places etc
I think that even going to Tesco's would be fun with you =P
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:53 PM)
hahaha i would throw the strangest things into your cart so that the cashier thinks ur weird xD
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (10:54 PM)
i didnt think you thought of me outside of when we talk
Phil ^_^ (10:54 PM)
I think about you all the time
I didn't think you thought about me either :p
Do you really?
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Shit, he thinks after five minutes of no response.
Maybe I've been reading it all wrong.
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Phil ^_^ (11:01 PM)
Dan? =/
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (11:02 PM)
ughhh my mum's going batshit insane >.<
i really have to go
im sorry =//
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The blood in his veins is replaced with liquid disappointment.
This is one of those (increasingly rare) moments when he is glad that he and Dan don't know each other in real life. And that Dan is not here to witness his sour expression.
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Phil ^_^ (11:02 PM)
Its okay, go, I dont want you to get in trouble :[ I'm sry
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He is about to apologize for everything else, too. But then he sees that Dan is typing and chooses to wait.
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danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (11:04 PM)
phil
Phil ^_^ (11:04 PM)
Yeah, Dan?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (11:04 PM)
i wanna tell u something
before i go
Phil ^_^ (11:04 PM)
?
danisNOTonfire xD i swear im really not. come check. (11:06 PM)
i want to meet you irl
like for real
i really want to =x
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Phil stared at those three lines long after Dan had gone offline.
Later, as he goes to sleep, he can't help feeling that something had changed.
And it can never be undone.