Chapter Text
* * * *
As long as Will could remember, sleepovers at Mike’s house had been one of his favorite things to do. They would stay up way too late in the basement (even going so far as to rig the door with a bell, so that they knew to pretend to be asleep if Mrs. Wheeler came down to check on them), reading comics, playing with Mike’s huge assortment of action figures, and just laughing. Will had never felt more at home than in Mike’s basement, and that hadn’t changed even after all he had gone through - but what had changed was the sleepover part.
Will didn’t want Mike to know that he couldn’t sleep without a light on, and he especially didn’t want him to know how bad his nightmares had gotten. It was bad enough dealing with his mom at home, who would hear him screaming and rush into his room to find him thrashing and sweating in bed. He’d wake up to her frantic cries of “Will! Will!” and it would only make him more upset because of how often he had already heard his mother crying out for him, whether he was trapped in the Upside Down or a prisoner of the Mind Flayer. He was thankful for Jonathan, who normally woke up and came in to calmly put his hands on Joyce and tell her, “Mom, go back to bed – I’ve got this.” Jonathan would just sit with him, grasping Will’s small, clammy hand in his and whispering that it was going to be okay until he finally drifted back to sleep.
Logically, Will knew that Mike would never judge him, especially not for having nightmares or being scared of the dark. But he hated the thought of looking weak in front of Mike, or having Mike feel sorry for him. There was also the matter of his newly discovered feelings for Mike, which were sure to further complicate the matter. Will tried to imagine sleeping next to Mike in their blanket fort, like they always used to, and a strange feeling of warmth would spread across his entire body. He was sure Mike would notice Will’s hesitance to get close to him and ask him what was wrong. And quite frankly, Will just wasn’t ready for those kinds of questions, because he could barely answer them himself.
For two weeks after the Snowball, Will had gently turned Mike down anytime he had asked if Will wanted to sleepover, usually employing his mother as the excuse. “Mom doesn’t want me away from the house for a whole night,” or “I promised my mom I’d spend time with her, you know how she gets.” Mike had never fought him on it, but Will could always see a flicker of disappointment cross Mike’s face before he schooled his features back into a smile.
But today, when Mike asked if Will wanted to sleepover when they were at the bike rack getting ready to ride home, Will could see on Mike’s face that something was wrong. His eyes had an uncharacteristic dullness about them, and his mouth had a sad tilt. It killed Will to see Mike looking so upset, and it killed him even more that Mike had asked him in a way that said he already thought Will would say no.
“Look, Will, I know your mom’s been pretty strict lately, but I was just wondering if you might—” Mike sighed, running his hands through his hair, looking down at the ground, “—want to spend the night tonight,” he finished softly.
Will’s heart squeezed at how Mike couldn’t even look at him. He suddenly felt ashamed, that he had allowed his own fear and insecurity to push Mike away when he should have been pulling him closer. It was easy to forget how much Mike had gone through, too – first losing Will, then losing El, then nearly losing Will again. Mike had always put the world on his shoulders. After all, it was Mike that took El in when she was lost, which ended up saving both Will and El's lives. Mike was a hero, and Will couldn’t let Mike feel alone for a second longer.
“Yeah! That would be so great, Mike, I’d love to,” Will replied, smiling as Mike raised his head from where he had been staring at his bike tire, his eyes wide.
“Really?” Mike asked, a smile tugging at his lips, but still looking unsure.
“Yeah. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to in a while, but tonight is perfect,” Will replied, his heart already beating faster at the thought of being alone with Mike.
Mike’s face immediately lit up with such joy that Will couldn’t help but think that Mike Wheeler’s smile could qualify as the 8th Wonder of the World. “Okay! Um, let’s ride to your house so we can grab your stuff.” The grin on Mike’s face was absolutely infectious, and Will couldn’t help but smile back at him as they hopped on their bikes and headed to Will’s.
As Will rode alongside Mike, a sense of peace came over him. Everything was going to be okay. Will would figure out how to be around Mike again, even after how much had changed. Mike was his best friend in the entire world, and no nightmare or secret crush would ever change that.
* * * *
“Feels good to be home,” Will murmured as he sat down at the D&D board in Mike’s basement, the pieces still scattered from their last campaign, which must have been months ago.
Mike sat down next to him, looking thoughtful as he picked up Will’s wizard piece. “It wasn’t the same without you here,” he said, his voice heartbreakingly quiet as he turned the piece over in his hands.
“I hated being away,” Will admitted softly, thinking about how even after he was rescued from the Upside Down, the Mind Flayer once again took him from his friends and family.
“Will, can I ask you something?” Mike blurted, looking surprised at himself even as the words came out of his mouth.
Will’s heart stuttered to a stop. Uh-oh. Here we go.
“Yeah, Mike. ‘Course you can,” Will replied, wringing his hands nervously as he waited patiently for Mike’s question.
“Did I… Did I do something wrong? I just… I’ve noticed that you haven’t wanted to come over lately. And I know how much you’ve been through, and that maybe that’s why you’d rather be at home. But I just… I thought maybe it was something I did.” Mike looked down at his hands, and Will’s chest felt like it was tearing in half.
“No, no, Mike, listen to me.” Without a moment to doubt his actions, Will grabbed Mike’s hands in his own. There were tears in Mike’s eyes as he raised his gaze to meet Will's, and Will felt his own eyes sting in response. “Mike, you could never, ever do anything wrong. Especially not to me. You’re the best person I know. The truth is…” Will heaved a sigh, trying to figure out where to begin. “The truth is I’ve been having a really hard time, after everything. And I just… I didn’t know how to talk about it. I was trying to get over it, to move on. And I just feel… stuck.” Will’s voice cracked at the last word, and he looked up to see Mike’s big, brown eyes staring carefully at him, imploring him to continue.
Will laughed, a strange sort of hiccupy laugh, his eyes filling with tears. “I guess I just felt like everyone was moving on from what happened, and I didn’t know if I ever could.”
Mike rearranged their hands so that his were on top of Will’s and squeezed. “You don’t have to move on, Will. It might feel like everyone is continuing on with their lives, but I don’t think anyone goes a day without thinking about what happened. I… I think about it every day. Sometimes I wake up and I still think you’re missing, and it terrifies me.”
“R-Really? Will asked, letting go of Mike’s hand momentarily to scrub at his eyes as a tear threatened to fall down his cheek.
“Yeah. I even have nightmares sometimes, about the Mind Flayer or the demodogs or… Them pulling your body from the quarry.” Mike's eyes fluttered shut at the last memory, his eyebrows contorting in pain.
Will tried to imagine how he would have felt, had he seen the police dragging Mike’s pale body out of the water. The pain he felt at just imagining it was absolutely unbearable, and all of his friends had lived through that pain in real time. What if they hadn't figured out the body was fake? Will would have died in the Upside Down, and all of his friends would have showed up to his funeral and thought the body they put into the casket was really him. The thought of how his story could have ended stole the breath from his lungs.
“I can’t imagine what that was like for you, Mike. But you saved me. You all did. You didn’t give up on me. And that’s the only reason I’m still here.” Will smiled at Mike, who was currently staring in fascination at the floor, and tried to catch his gaze.
Mike slowly raised his head to look at Will, tears glittering in his eyes. “Please don’t leave me again, okay?” Mike asked softly.
Will choked down a sob and pulled Mike to him in a tight hug. “Never, Mike. I’ll never, ever leave you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I haven’t been there for you.” Will prayed that Mike couldn’t feel how his heartbeat was quickening, or the warm flush of his skin as he held his best friend.
Mike pulled away from Will, putting his hands firmly on Will’s arms. “I’m always here for you, Will. Remember what I said? If we’re both going crazy, then we’ll go crazy together.”
Will laughed, thankful that Mike remembered that moment just as vividly as he did. “Yeah, crazy together.”
* * * *
Normally, the boys would sleep in the basement, but Mrs. Wheeler had caught on to their bell trick and insisted that they sleep up in Mike’s room. “Dinner at 5:30, and lights out by 10:00,” she instructed.
She came up about twenty minutes later, telling Will his mother was on the phone wanting to say goodnight. Will fought the urge to roll his eyes, remembering how much his mom had gone through in the past few months, and went into the hallway to take the phone.
“Hi, sweetie. Are you having fun?” Joyce’s voice was always tinged with a bit of worry, but she sounded like she was trying hard to sound positive.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m having a lot of fun,” Will replied, glancing over at Mike standing in his bedroom door, who chose that moment to lob a rubber ball at Will’s head. It bounced off his forehead, causing his bangs to go askew and a small bubble of laughter to escape from his lips. He heard his mom laugh fondly on the other end of the phone.
“It sounds like it. I’ll let you go, just wanted to say goodnight.” Her voice caught a little bit at the end of the sentence. Will clutched the phone a little closer to his ear.
He loved his mom, he really did. She had literally gone through hell and back for him, and she never gave up on him even when everyone around her was telling her to, including Jonathan. He knew she had every reason to worry about him, so he always tried to be understanding and gentle with her.
“’Night, Mom. Thanks for calling. Love you,” Will replied softly into the phone.
“You call me if you need anything, okay? I love you. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m heading home. Mike already said he’d ride with me there. Goodnight, Mom.”
He quickly hung up before she could think of anything else to worry about. Will picked up the ball by his foot and lobbed it back at Mike, hitting him square in the nose. Mike collapsed dramatically onto the carpeting, pretending to be badly injured, and Will launched himself on top of him and began a play wrestling match.
After a few minutes of rough-housing, they ended up tangled together on the carpeting of Mike’s bedroom, nearly nose-to-nose. They were both breathing heavily and laughing, and without thinking, Will reached out to brush a stray piece of Mike’s hair out of his face. His breath stuttered in his throat as he realized what he had done, and he averted his gaze from Mike, trying to will the blush from his cheeks.
When Will was finally brave enough to look over, all he saw was Mike smiling at him. Will smiled back, and was about to say something when Mrs. Wheeler popped her head in the door. “Dinner’s ready, you two,” she announced. The two boys sprang up and away from each other, startled. Mrs. Wheeler took one look at their mussed hair and flushed cheeks and quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing as she turned around and headed downstairs.
Once she was gone, Mike and Will looked at each other and immediately burst into laughter. As they thundered down the stairs together, Will tried not to think about how Mike’s gaze had seemed to linger on Will’s lips for just a moment too long after the laughter had died away.
He knew it was just his imagination.
* * * *
After enjoying a hearty helping of Mrs. Wheeler’s spaghetti and meatballs (which Will had a sneaking suspicion that Mike had asked her specifically to make because he was coming over, as it happened to be his favorite), Will and Mike were all snuggled inside a blanket fort they had made in Mike’s room. Mr. Wheeler, in an uncharacteristic display of parental affection, had even helped them bring up the blankets and dining room chairs that they used to build the fort by Mike’s bed. It was also Mr. Wheeler’s idea to put a small lamp underneath the blankets so it wouldn’t be too dark, much to Will’s relief. Will had watched as Mr. Wheeler gently patted Mike on the head, and then did the same to Will, looking like he was going to say something before thinking better of it and heading out the door.
“That was really nice of your dad to help us,” Will said, trying to keep the incredulity out of his voice but failing miserably.
Mike laughed, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, weirdly nice. Both my parents have been acting kind of strange ever since…” He paused, looking down at the wool blanket covering both of them, wrapping the fringes around his fingers absentmindedly.
“Ever since…” Will prompted, gently urging Mike to continue.
“Um, well, I… I haven’t really had anybody over lately. And I think they got a little worried about me.” Mike looked down, blushing in embarrassment. Will’s chest constricted in guilt.
“I thought that El came over a lot?” Will asked, trying to tamp down the little flame of jealousy that ignited in his chest at saying her name.
Mike’s eyelashes fluttered as he squeezed his eyes shut, not able to look at Will. “She used to… Until I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
Will felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs. Girlfriend. He knew it was only going to be a matter of time, but that still couldn’t have prepared him for this moment. He had seen the way they had looked at each other at the Snowball, and he had seen Mike kiss her. He hadn’t told anyone, but he had gone home and cried in his room after the dance. At the time, he hadn’t really fully understood why he was so upset.
Mike was still looking down at the blanket, and the pieces began to fall into place in Will’s mind. He remembered how sad Mike had looked at the bike rack today, and how Mike had said that El used to come over a lot… But it couldn’t be, could it?
“Do you want to talk about it?” Will asked softly, scooting closer to Mike so that their knees were touching. He tried to ignore the blush creeping across his cheeks at being so close.
“She said no. Actually, she said, ‘Friends tell the truth,’ and told me that I was her first friend, and that she didn’t know if she wanted to be more than friends. Hopper actually came by to talk to me about it today – He pulled me aside after school, when I was heading out to meet you. He said that she was afraid of losing me, and she was too young to really understand what it means to be a ‘girlfriend.’ I guess she told him that I’m her best friend, and she wants to be my friend forever. Hopper said she watched how awkward Nancy is around Steve now, and she told him she didn’t want that to happen to us.”
Will let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. It all made perfect sense. El—sweet, sweet El—didn’t want to lose Mike, and she wasn’t willing to risk her friendship with him for anything. El was so young, and she was robbed of having a childhood. The members of the Party were her first friends, and of course she didn’t want anything to jeopardize those friendships that must be so precious to her, especially the relationship she had with Mike.
He suddenly felt foolish for ever being jealous of El, because clearly, she cared deeply for Mike, just as he did.
“Mike, El cares so much about you. I know she does. She would never want to hurt you—” Will began, but Mike interrupted him.
“I know she does. I’m not upset that she said she didn’t want to be my girlfriend. I want El in my life, in whatever way she wants to be in it. I just feel like I ruined things by even asking her. She hasn’t been over in days. Hopper said it didn’t mean anything, that she was just busy, but I feel like I made things weird.”
Will gulped softly. Mike was describing Will’s worst fear. If Mike found out how Will felt about him, and didn’t talk to him for days, he couldn’t imagine how awful he would feel. It must have taken so much courage for Mike to ask El to be his girlfriend, courage that Will felt he would never have.
“Mike, El isn’t upset with you. I don’t know how she ever could be. She might just be giving you some space, is all. I’m sure everything will go back to normal when you see her next.”
There was that word again, ‘normal.’ Will wondered if Mike ever felt like things were normal in his life, after all that had happened.
“Thanks, Will,” Mike began, looking at him with a small smile, “I’m really glad you came over tonight. I missed you.”
Will wanted to throw his arms around Mike and tell him, I missed you too! I missed you every day, I thought of you after every nightmare, I have never stopped thinking about you. But instead, he settled for knocking his knee against Mike’s and saying, “I’m glad too. There’s no place I’d rather be.”
* * * *
It was 9:45pm, and Will and Mike had just brushed their teeth and gotten all snuggled into the makeshift bed they’d made inside of their fort. Mrs. Wheeler came in at 9:55 sharp to shut off the lights and tell them goodnight, and that they’d be subject to random checks throughout the night to make sure they were actually sleeping. Mike rolled his eyes (thankfully inside of the fort and out of his mother’s sight) as he yelled “Goodnight!” and she closed the door.
Mike leaned over to turn the fort’s lamp on and buried himself deep under the blankets, fanning out the X-Men comic he had picked out on their laps. Mike’s entire side was pressed up against Will, and Will took a moment to look over at his friend in the low lighting.
His long eyelashes cast a small shadow on his face as Mike’s lips mouthed the words of the comic, his eyebrows furrowed. Will’s heart couldn’t help but do a tiny pitter-patter as he watched Mike, so adorable in his concentration. Will loved the look Mike always got when he was deep in thought, where his mouth hung open just a bit and his eyes did that cute little squinty thing.
Naturally, Mike sensed Will staring at him, and looked over at him with a quizzical expression. “Do I have something on my face?” Mike asked jokingly, reaching his hand up to touch his cheek. Will blushed, looking down and shaking his head.
“No, it’s just nice doing something so… Normal,” Will murmured, gesturing to the comic book. “I missed things like this the most, actually. When I was…” He trailed off, his eyes glazing over from the terrible memory.
“We can do all the normal things you want, okay?” Mike reassured Will, wrapping his arm around him. “We’ll be the most normal pair of best friends ever.”
Will smiled, but a part of him hesitated. It probably isn’t very normal to like Mike as more than your best friend, a tiny voice at the back of his mind whispered.
But before he could think more on the issue, they heard a door open in the hallway. Mike quickly switched off the lamp and dove under the covers with Will as his bedroom door opened. Will squeezed his eyes shut and focused on steadying his breathing as he felt the covers of the fort part. He heard Mrs. Wheeler make a noise of satisfaction, and then Mike’s bedroom door close.
Mike’s arm was still draped across Will’s shoulders under the covers. He made no effort to move it, even after they both began to drift off. Will fell asleep with a smile on his face for the first time in months.
* * * *
Somewhere far off, Will could hear someone screaming. He blindly ran towards the noise until his vision suddenly cleared, and he realized he was in the Upside Down again. He looked frantically left and right, trying to gather his surroundings, until a dark shape came hurdling at him from the sky. He realized it was one of the limbs of the Mind Flayer as he looked up to see the monster towering above him in the stormy sky, a menacing roar filling his ears. The screaming got louder, and Will realized too late that it was his own scream before the monster’s knife-like limb came barreling towards him and pierced him through the chest.
“Will! WILL!” Will woke up mid-scream to Mike shaking him frantically. His shirt was soaked through with sweat and he sucked in a gulpful of air, his chest heaving. Tears ran down his face as he looked frantically over to Mike, the shame and embarrassment he felt at Mike seeing him this way making his blood run cold.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Will whispered as Mike pulled him into his chest, holding him steady as his body was wracked with sobs. His secret was out – Now Mike knew that even though Will had left the Upside Down, it hadn’t left him.
“Mike? Will? Is everything okay?” Nancy’s soft voice came from outside of the fort, and her head appeared between the parted covers. Her tired eyes widened as she saw Will’s state, but before she could say anything, the sound of the Wheeler parents’ bedroom door opening down the hall interrupted her. Nancy immediately bolted to her feet and went out into the hall, where Mike and Will could hear her having a hushed conversation with Mrs. Wheeler.
“Mom, Will just had a really bad nightmare. Please, go back to bed. Mike is with him, I’ll make sure they’re both okay.” After a few more murmured supplications from Nancy, the boys heard the Wheelers’ bedroom door close once again, and Nancy returned after a few moments with a tall glass of ice water. She sat down gently in the entrance of the fort and handed Will the glass. She smiled as he slowly unwound from Mike’s embrace to grasp the glass and swallow big gulps of water. The cool liquid felt refreshing as it traveled down his throat, effectively snuffing out the flame he always felt burning in his chest after a Mind Flayer nightmare.
“I get them too,” Nancy said softly as she gently took the now-empty glass from Will’s hands. Mike’s arm immediately wound itself back around Will’s shoulders.
“Y-You do?” Will asked softly, feeling marginally less embarrassed now that he knew he wasn’t alone in his nightmares.
“Yeah. A lot of them are about Barb.” Nancy squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head as if to clear it of the memory. “She’s screaming my name for help, and I’m frozen – I don’t even move. I don’t help her, and that thing gets her.” She looked at Will, tears in her eyes, and reached out to gently touch his hand. “You’re not alone, Will. I know sometimes it might feel that way, because nobody has gone through exactly what you went through - but we’re all here for you. We all carry it with us, in some way.”
Will could see Mike out of the corner of his eye smiling at his sister and wiping away a stray tear from his eye. Will had never been more grateful for Nancy in this moment, not only because she had saved him from an embarrassing conversation with Mrs. Wheeler, but because she was actually trying to relate to him. She was trying to show him that he wasn’t alone, that her experience with the Upside Down had stayed with her too, and her efforts touched him so much that he started to cry again.
“Thank you, Nancy,” was all he could muster, trying to stop his lower lip from trembling in order to smile at her. She grinned, her eyes soft as she leaned in to envelop both Mike and Will in a hug.
“It’ll take some time, but it’s going to be okay. I promise,” she murmured to Will, running a delicate hand through his hair. He nodded into her shoulder, using the group hug as an excuse to pull Mike closer to him. He felt Mike’s lips accidentally brush the top of his ear and his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest.
“Try to get some sleep, okay?” Nancy murmured as she crawled out of the blanket fort. She paused outside, however, and popped her head back in.
“I hope this isn’t weird but… I don’t usually have nightmares when Jonathan is sleeping near me,” she averted her gaze to the ground, clearly a little embarrassed, but continued on, “When I’m trying to fall asleep, I listen to his breathing and feel his warmth, and it grounds me. It helps me feel like I’m not alone.”
Mike squeezed Will’s shoulder, and they both nodded at Nancy, understanding what she was implying. She smiled at both of them, her eyes lingering on Mike’s hand on Will’s shoulder for just a moment before getting up, the bed sheets of the fort fluttering from her exit.
“Just remember, you’re not alone... You have each other.” Nancy’s soft whisper echoed through Will’s head like poetry, before Mike’s bedroom door closed with a soft ‘click.’
“Your sister is so nice,” Will sighed, relaxing against Mike’s shoulder. He had no energy to overthink his actions – he just wanted to feel safe and warm. Mike leaned his cheek against the top of Will’s head, moving his hand up and down his arm comfortingly.
“She’s okay,” Mike shrugged, but Will could hear the affection that hid behind the casual statement. “I think she might be on to something, too,” Mike began, sounding a little bit hesitant but continuing on anyway, “Maybe if you focus on the fact that you’re not alone, that I’m right here, the nightmares won’t bother you anymore.”
Will could feel his heartbeat thumping in his ears as he pulled away to look at Mike in the dim glow of the blanket fort. “I guess I-I’ve never thought about it,” he stammered, praying that Mike couldn’t see how red his face was in the darkness.
“I’ll lay close to you, okay? Listen to my breathing, like Nancy said. And you can—” Mike hesitated for a moment, and if Will didn’t know any better, he would swear that he could see a light blush creeping across Mike's cheeks, “You can... hold onto me. I mean, if you need to.”
“O-Okay,” Will choked out, lying down stiffly onto the pillows as Mike tucked himself into the blankets next to him. They lay there for a moment, Will staring intensely at the ceiling of the fort, until Mike reached out and gently slipped his hand into Will’s. Will’s head snapped over to peer at Mike in the darkness, terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing in response to the unexpected gesture.
But Mike just smiled at him, squeezed his hand, and said, “I’ve got you.”
Will nodded, squeezing back. “I’ve got you, too.”
* * * *