Chapter Text
The air around you is hot and overwhelming. It should be cooling your skin, but you feel the friction of two bodies pressed against yours and they trap the heat deep in your flesh. The sensation of it makes you weak, keening as you lean back for support. The hands on you are confusing, digging trenches into your skin with need. You can’t tell who starts and who stops. It feels like perfect bliss and you want this. Your mind is pure sensation and all you experience is a bite on your neck, a tongue in your mouth and teeth that drag your lower lip with it. You feel hands in your hair gently pulling and guiding you. You feel fingers feasting on the flesh of your buttox while other nimble fingers are teasing your tits. The sounds of moans and heavy shuddering breath come from both you and the men surrounding you.
“Does it feel good?” you hear Ignis whisper against your neck. His voice is debauched. It’s distorted into something deep, dark, and feral.
“Yes, but I want more,” you pant out as two fingers enter your mouth. You suck hard on them while another hand strokes your just around clit, teasing you into feeling greedy. You shift your hips around to feel the friction. Ignis seems to be struggling to shift his cock inside of you. There’s a strange aching sensation deep in the core of you, all need and no satisfaction.
“Of course she likes it,” Ravus’s confident tone comes from over your shoulder, and you think you feel his tip attempting to enter you as well, “the well of moisture between her legs betrays any doubts.” You continue to suck on his fingers as he pulls his hand away from your clit to re-adjust on your hip. He is in control of your motions now, but you can't resist attempting to find some stimulation anyway. Reaching back you take a fist full of his hair and pull him down onto your shoulder. He lets out a shuddering breath, as you seem to have found a weakness in him. Your other hand pulls Ignis near, requesting a kiss, but you gag on Ravus’s digits. You’re now rocking against them, trying to get any stimulation from the two firm bodies pressed up against you, but this competition for entrance is leaving everyone unsatisfied. A new weight on the bed shifts you to the left, while Ignis pulls Ravus’s fingers out of your mouth to make room for him. The gentle sensation of his lips requesting your mouth to open displays forced restraint while his other hand continues to work your breast.
“I should taste her just to be sure,” comes Nocts’ helpless voice. You struggle to open your eyes from the pleasure filled kiss and see him crawling devotely on his knees, stimulating himself with his hand as he drags his mouth up against your thigh. It leaves a trail of hot saliva that cools while he pushes both Ignis and Ravus’s hips away. Ugh, how dare he. It is so close to feeling perfect.
You let out a loud whine, wanting something, anything to touch you where you want it most. With a strange speed, Nocts hair is pulled on by Ignis to guide him away. The perfect act of disciplining the over-eager pupil. You watch as they devour each other’s mouths in turn and it leaves you both shocked and more aroused. Everyone was here for each other, though the core of the devotion was laid into you.
The removal of the two of them seems to be the distraction Ravus was looking for when he shifts your body around to face him. Almost possessively you’re trapped down on the bed under the weight of him. His hand trails up your face and you’re given the gift of a look of genuine love. It’s a shy smile as he touches your cheek before he shifts into something more animalistic.
“I want to be the first to take you,” and you feel his cock tease your entrance apart. The sensation rips through you and releases as a loud moan. It is so close to feeling satisfying that you want to scream out for him. But he smothers the sound, kissing you while holding down your hands, muffling your bliss and entwining his fingers into yours. You feel him sliding into you without any resistance, the moisture of your own making dripping down your thighs and between your cheeks. But somethings wrong. You’re not feeling the satisfaction you anticipated. Your core aches worse now with more pleading. You need more stimulation. You need him to be rough with you.
You arch your back up trying to adjust your hips for more friction. Your head is craned behind you from the effort, which lets you see Prompto nodding in appreciation of Ravus’s technique as the camera in his hand blinks red with the notation of recording. One of his hands slides up your arms to massage your breast. When Ravus gives you a moment for air, Prompto moves in and dives his tongue into your mouth like punctuating daggers before adjusting your head to rest on his thighs. He pulls Ravus into a violent kiss above you that you barely get to watch before Ignis obfuscates your view. He shifts himself in between Ravus pounding you incessantly and clutches your face between his hands. He looks sad, mournful almost, beneath a torrent of love. He presses his lips against yours and it’s a relief after your previous kiss, cleansing you and making you feel whole. You’re coherent enough to feel a transition, the kisses becoming anything but tender. It’s all heat and passion while he shifts to straddle your hips. He sits up separating Prompto and Ravus, removing him from inside your wet cunt before shifting into place himself.
“Don’t be so selfish, Ravus,” the name releases from Ignis in a moan as he moves inside you now, and still you still feel the hollow ache. It makes you nearly cry out in frustration. Noctis is situating himself to be below you now, while Ignis pulls you slightly upright in a sitting position. There’s something selfish about the action, the way he is keeping you from everyone else, but it makes it easier for Noctis to situate himself to line up your hips onto his own. You let them maneuver you like the over pleasured rag-doll you are.
Something in Ignis has changed dramatically. The kisses are almost furious, and there is something so deeply possessive about them. Yes. You want him to make you his. It is overwhelming to the point of having to devour each other’s moans of bliss.
Ravus seems to have grown impatient, and now pulls on Ignis’s hair to break your connection to his mouth. You feel Ignis’s snarl more than see it. Over Ignis’s shoulder he makes his own assault to pleasure you. He pushes you two closer together, surrounding Ignis from behind to indulge in you as well, and now both of them have managed to shift their bodies to be inside of you. It should hurt, at least you assume it would, but you don’t feel the fullness you expect. Their hips take a tempo led by Ravus, more in control of the situation due to his positioning. Ignis looks completely overwhelmed by the intensity of his mentor's actions and you think he may break first. The repetition seems to beat at the same tempo as a beep so distant in the back of your mind.
As your eyes flutter open and closed you see Prompto stimulating himself at the debauched scene, the camera abandoned on the side of the bed. He one of his hands still adamantly plays with the peak of your breast. Noctis is entering you now, joining in from below with a loud moan escaping him-- but you still.
Why isn’t this satisfying? You ache so bad to be filled it’s starting to hurt. The build up of teasing, the overwhelming sensations, they have you so close. So painfully close. The beeping gets louder and louder and now it too, shifts inside of you to the forefront of your mind.
--
You open your eyes very wide, much more awake than you expected, slapping your hand on your alarm to shut it up. You were so aroused it physically hurt. It barely takes any friction to find the finish line and you’re left panting in your own bed, trying so hard to figure out what the hell that dream meant while you wait for your heart to settle in your chest. You almost laugh because Prompto is a bad kisser, even in your dreams. You take in a few deep breaths to readjust from your bliss. This is a big issue. You’ve been repressing your needs for so long that this… Orgy played out in your mind. It is now the time for some honest thoughts.
But really, all four of them? Is it because they are the men you see in your every-day life? That’s ridiculous. You couldn’t even dream of their dicks because you can’t even really picture one. Well really because you know so little about dicks in general. You only know about them from casual porn searches but-- You’re mostly assuming Ignis has a big dick from second hand knowledge. No-- You don’t want to think about their dicks. Actually you kind of do, and with Ravus’s naturally controlling nature and Ignis’s surprising intensity. Fuck. You’re going to have to get off again. What is this? It’s all ridiculous. Damn it.
Deep, centering, breaths now.
Okay, so.
Sex is a thing. And it’s a thing you want. This cannot be ignored anymore and must be confronted. It has to be confronted because it’s distracting like a mosquito in a tent. Randomly buzzing and marking you with its presence. It leaves behind an itch you can't scratch to satisfaction, no matter what you do. Because when you do scratch it, the pleasure is only momentary… and the itch comes back. Ignoring it only makes the itch burn with a demand to be touched.
You want to get laid and put some cortizone on this itch you’ve been fucking scratching to shit. This is your new secret goal for your semester. Maybe a stranger could help you out. You’re not bad looking, and even if you were, you have a vagina so it shouldn’t be difficult at all. You feel like you should be embarrassed at the thought of something casual, because it was never something you’d considered before. However, a real relationship right now was out of the question. You were always putting relationships and sexual gratification on a lower pedestal to learning and self improvement. Only now, there’s 30 mosquitos in your tent, and it’s getting ridiculous how much mental space they are taking up. But you don’t have time to settle into something, to dedicate yourself to someone new. So it would have to be casual.
Maybe you should just buy a toy. Something long-lasting that plugs into a wall. That would be more practical and less risky. No sticky emotions or post-cotial panic to worry about.
At least you’re satisfied for the moment. You roll out of bed and shower to get ready for your starting day of Junior year in college.
Maybe you should do something new with your hair. That should be adequate at signaling you’re ready for some more carnal affection. But what would that be? Pigtails? Warrior braids? Maybe a gentle curl to make you seem soft and approachable? You’re suddenly tired thinking about starting a new rendezvous. Your hands already felt full of the people in your life as it is. Now’s not the time to start juggling. Perhaps the person you entangle yourself with would be alright being exclusively a booty call.
Neah. You are definitely just going to buy a toy.
-
The walk to your first class from the apartment is short and sweet. It feels strange that you can actually sleep in for a little bit longer and not have to suffer the 53 minute bus ride or the tense ten minutes of waiting before and after. The only downside is you don’t get to be quite as alone with your thoughts anymore. Noctis and Prompto make the journey with you, idly talking to each other while you bob your head along with the music on your earphones.
The melody doesn’t stop your mind from wandering to your phone call with Nyx. The strangeness of it kept coming back to you as you worried your lower lip. Luna was not just the name of a project. You initially thought the name to be terribly clever, like something discrete done under the light of the moon, reflected back like magic through the crystal and shrouded in mystery. But now you have to consider it’s also the name of a person. Someone secret, and living in Tenebrae.
What did that mean? Why couldn't you know about her? Why did he tell you to forget the conversation? That was absolutely not going to happen. Even if you wanted to forget the thought keeps reminding you it’s there like a rock in your shoe that you refuse to take out.
Because you’re kind of fascinated, and you want to know.
Your train of thought is broken as Noctis taps your shoulder to let you know he and Prompto are breaking off. You squeeze Prom’s hand and give a wave. Noctis stares at you, looking slightly dumb. You decide to pay him no mind and give you attention to Prommie. He’s been in such a good mood since he got back, it’s making you feel quite settled. It was absolutely going to be a conversation for later. You appreciate that he’s taking snapshots of everything.
You’re headed towards a building separate from the rest of campus with well tended gardens and a pseudo-outdoor seating area.
You roll your neck to crack it and shake out your fingers like you’re bracing for a fight.
--
You enter, waiting in the familiar terrarium room for your professor to make his flourishing and avant garde entrance. You placate yourself with the knowledge that this class will only be meeting twice a week. The atmosphere in the room is already slightly defeating, and you’re surprised at how much you miss seeing a familiar face. It’s… So strange that Noctis isn’t in this class with you. Wouldn’t he need to take it in order to get into Dr. Nox Fleuret’s class next year? You pinch your lower lip between your thumb and forefinger, releasing it to feel it bounce against your lower teeth before awkwardly scanning the room. It’s just a bunch of strangers.
You’ve made no efforts to get to know anyone. Expectedly, the class size had dwindled naturally to a more manageable size as more people failed out of classes or changed majors. You didn’t feel like wasting the emotional room on people who might quit. After all, it was a leading reason for such a high success rate at the school. A part of it was that school relied on people failing out because of the crushing course loads, so the people that did graduate already had a step up on their CV’s. But this was also the junior year of college. This was when people started to really focus on their majors. You got to go from classes of 150, to 30 or fewer. Everything was going to be more intimate from now on.
It feels strange though. You used to be so good at being alone in a class. You’re embarrassed at the feelings of needing someone to be around. You feel the strangeness of looking at a field of faceless strangers and you pull out your phone to hide the feelings of isolation. The message you send is coated with sugar and doesn’t represent your current feelings in the slightest. You don’t want the object of your address to feel your distress. Heh, rhyming.
You: I am excited to see you! I’m going to be front and center tomorrow! ( ͡☆ ͜ʖ ͡☆)
You’re startled by the thunderous boom that fills the air. It makes you jump so violently that you almost drop your phone. Looking up, you can’t help but sigh lightly. The twists and turns of magic resonating along the protective filaments in the glass is still an overwhelming sight to behold. If withdrawing magic from an elemental vein is satisfying, you can only imagine what the sensations of casting it could be. You stand on your tiptoes and covet the knowledge. You want to learn how to utilize it so badly.
The magic simmers down and he leaves the room, gently brushing his hand on the shoulder of another student and you watch the remaining static from the thundaga make the student shudder. She lets out a giggle.
He pontificates about magic for the rest of class, going over the syllabus and expectations for the semester. It has that similar, casual air feeling thrown about the room. You have to force yourself not to get over-relaxed. Without him antagonizing Noctis, you realize that he’s actually an interesting teacher, and begin to understand some of the idol worship that he receives.
Despite the smaller size, you are still invisible. You wonder if he can’t see you, or if it’s on purpose. You feel remarkably average, and hate that your instinct is to overperform to stand out.
You feel eyes on your back as you leave the classroom, but when you turn around, his back is to you and you wonder if your ego has gotten too large.
-
“I can’t believe you talked me into this. You know me even coming here once is my way of saying I love you, right?” It took a bribe from Prompto to get you here. You just wanted to hear about his trip and now you’re wearing your sneakers and leggings that sneak up your ass when you move too much. You pull out your wedgie.
‘I want to show you what’s making me so happy,’ he claimed. Whatever that means. You suppose you’re about to find out.
The gym membership was ‘free’ and part of the exceptionally over-bloated tuition payments at the school. Prompto was convinced it was going to change your life, and bring you everything you wanted. However, you felt that you kept your calories in check naturally with the cost of groceries in the capital city. This just felt… excessive. He was trying to replace your morning coffee with… going to the gym. Okay yeah, you jogged around casually, but that was to help you think! This was about making your body into a temple. And it seemed that everyone in here is almost intimidatingly fucking gorgeous.
Oh. This may actually be a great idea.
“It’s good for you, dude! You’re going to love it, eventually! And besides, you told me your secret goal for this semester,” you nudge him for being so blatant about it and it makes him laugh, “Who knows, the booty call of your dreams may be in here waiting for you now,” His shift in tone from genuine to a playful teasing. The follow up of laugher and disregard for privacy has you eye-rolling and smiling. It almost isn’t fair that his abundant enthusiasm is still contagious as ever. You find yourself scanning the area for soon-to-be over-familiar faces. The size of the gym alone was intimidating.
“So, what exactly are we going to do here?” This was all new territory for you, and you needed guidance. Perhaps you should have done some research beforehand.
“Let’s check out the classes they are offering right now, and see if they have anything that might interest you. Then, let’s hit the weight area,” Prompto smiled, shrugging his shoulders. He had gotten you in the door, and it seemed that was enough. Though he was scanning the area pretty aggressively. This happiness maker must be big into working out.
Standing by the signage and checking the classes you see several yoga, zoomba, and something called ‘Bar Pilates’ classes, but mixed in there was something that really got your attention. Reflecting on your interactions with Ardyn, a self defense course did sound interesting. It met three times a week early in the morning. Perfect. You immediately add it to your calendar with notifications set to ping on your watch. He gave you an enthusiastic smile at your additions. You read his wants like an open book. Oh, no. Not like this.
“I’m not coming here every morning, Prompto,” you specifically used his full name to add to the threat of it. Then, you hear a surprisingly familiar voice, and a grunt that may also be familiar. Maybe. Is that..?
Four fast nudges into your arm has you following Prompto’s eye line, which just happened to be where you were about to look.
Holy shit.
Ravus, Ignis, and Ignis’s booze buddy are all here working out together. And is that Noctis? How did he make it into their little troupe?
“There he is!” Prompto stage-whispers while grabbing your arm. And you suddenly realize that the defensive drinking friend has been giving your own friend something to smile about. But now you, too, have something to brighten your day.
Ravus is in a tank top and sweats that his back end can absolutely fill out, and you suddenly realize that his organic arm may be thicker than your waist. His prosthetic is set up to match the size. The scarring around his shoulder looks painful and intense, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. So, that’s how far it goes up his arm. Ignis is wearing body covering compression gear and shorts over the top of his gift of a physique leaving the details a mystery. The silhouette alone makes it something you want to unwrap. You’re just… staring. How did they hide this with suit coats and lab jackets? Have they been working out together all along?
Shit. That dream really unblocked a dam of denial, huh?
You wish Prommie would take a photo. What a gift. What a feast.
“Should we go over there? We should go over there,” you’re glued to the scene. Noctis is being cheered on by the other dark haired man while he pushed up a bar and brought it back down, but fucking hell. Ravus is doing squats and Ignis is hovering around behind him. You think that’s called spotting.
“Are you kidding me? That’s a terrible— Oh hey!” The source of the bribe is smiling and waving the two of you over. Prompto really, really needs to work on his whisper. You go forward to the signal without thinking straight. Prompto nervously laughs and seems to jog up behind. “Hey guys,” he initiates, hiding behind you just a little bit. Yeah, he was a bit of a beanpole in comparison, so you understood him wanting to disappear.
“Well, if it isn’t my shutter-bug and the scientist,” Gladio casually introduces himself to you and then to people you already know. He kicks gently at the back of Ignis’s heel.
The startled way Ignis says your name has you breaking away from looking at his chest region and you recognize that you need to close your mouth. “Hey,” is all that seems to come out of you, that and a half-cocked grin.
He pushes his glasses up his nose before turning away slightly, a little bit of sweat dripping down his brow. It feels a little weird, as if he had a reason to be shy or something ridiculous like that. “Good morning. Ravus, your pupil is here,” it’s stated flatly as Iggy taps him on the back before he re-racks his weights and finally stands up to his full height. You knew they were all pretty tall, each one of them over six foot, but this felt ridiculous when you were seeing them all together. Your nearly-goofy grin wasn’t fading even when Ravus looked at you with his patented almost-a-frown.
“This is unexpected. What brings you here?” It comes out cold and quick, and once again without a greeting. Ravus gives you a measured look, as he wipes away the sweat from his brow and neck. It makes Gladio look at Ignis with a raised brow.
Did you get hit by a car? Is this fucking heaven? It can’t be, it smells too much like sweat but, shit. It still could be.
“Prompto is encouraging me to pick up some new healthy habits. Something about wanting me to be around for a long time,” you put your arm around him and pull him forward, biting your lower lip before it slips out with a broad grin. That seemed to be a little bit of a mistake as Gladio is now scrutinizing your interaction just a little bit closer. Prompto, in his ever smooth nature, pushes his hands out in front of him while lacing his fingers in a stretch, giving an excuse to drop your arm.
“Yeah, it’s uh, just something I think we should be doing, you know? Staying healthy and all that.” He’s blushing so hard that you want to tease him.
“Help. Please,” comes strained from Noctis who is losing control under the weight of his own bar. Ignis moves swiftly to help him lift it, while Gladio scoffs, making an off hand comment of ‘he could have handled that.’ You’re still a little taken that they all just looked so human in casual gym wear. You begin to take a long drink from your water bottle, idling and uncertain of what to do now. Do you join them? Do you work out close by so you can watch? Are you a pervert at the gym now?
“So, Professor Amacitia,” you choke at Prompto’s words. You actually choke as you side eye your bestie. The coughing fit gives you Ignis, Ravus, and Noctis’s attention. Noctis is trying to sit up while he rubs his shoulders but you hold up your hand.
“I’m fine, absolutely fine,” you just mouth a ‘what the fuck,’ while looking around to recompose yourself. Oh, how the turn tables… Turn. Now it was apparently your best friend that was actually messing around with his professor.
“I know it’s a little strange but I just started today—“ Noctis is spoken over by Ignis, “A morning routine is always a good idea,” and a third very quick, “We’ll talk more about this later, alone, away from other people,” from Prompto.
That’s it. The smile has devolved into laugher at how ridiculous this entire situation is. This is like a tragic romantic comedy. You needed to get out of there.
“Well this area looks a little taken— Prompto why don’t you do weights with these guys and I’ll go for a jog on the treadmills or something,” you flippantly wave your hand, overwhelmed, overstimulated, and just a little bit phased in non-belief land.
“Dude!” The word comes out strained from him, “I was going to teach you how to use them,” but Ravus suddenly steps up in an unexpected and, honestly, slightly insulting to Prommie way.
“If you are inexperienced, you would benefit from someone who knows what they are doing. Come. I know you learn quickly,” he rolls his neck and you just watch as the muscles under his skin move like thick ropes just beneath the surface.
“Yeah, okay. Sure. Why not?” Prompto lets out a little whine of objection at your acceptance, so you gesture at… All of Ravus. “He’s my Lab PI too, Prompto. You can work out with your professor, I’ll work out with mine, and I guess Noctis can work out with our professor?” You hear Ignis audibly sigh as Gladio’s head spins and stares intently towards the man. There’s something so accusatory in his look that you shift your weight. Oh my god, he met you while you were smashed and you—. You promised yourself you’d leave that behind, stuffed down in memory banks of old. But apparently, he made no such promise to himself, nor did Ignis who’s ears have suddenly gone bright red.
“Ignis would probably be the better instructor,” Gladio interjects. Something about his rough voice startles you a little out of the ridiculousness of the moment. The wall of a man crosses his arms, turning his full body towards Ravus and Ignis as if they are carrying on a silent conversation. However, his efforts seem to be in vain, as Ravus seems completely unphased.
“Nonsense,” he cuts off before anyone else can speak, “I initiated the training in him, and I will do the same with her.” You weren’t going to argue with him. It looked like Ignis wasn’t going to protest either. Gladio looks like he wants to yell something, but that feels like a button you don’t want to press. Prompto makes his way over and stands next to him, and you witness him diffuse a little. That’s a little cute.
“I suppose I’ll need a new spot for my own routine then?” Ignis adds in, just a little passively to encourage moving the conversation away from the accusatory stare from his friends. You smile at him. There’s a twinge of guilt for taking one of his workout partners.
“You know I’d help you if I knew what to do, Ignis,” There’s another moment of tension in the air as Ravus rolls his eyes at Ignis who is now looking down with raised eyebrows.
“I appreciate the thought,” he replies to the ground, never forgetting his manners. You made it awkward. It kind of makes you smile but… Shit, maybe this was all already awkward. Yeah. It absolutely was. This whole situation felt out of bounds, and honestly a little shark jump-y.
“However, you currently do not. The four of them will adjust fine. Let’s move to where you can warm up,” You didn’t expect him to be so… Militaristic in his approach. It feels like he’s trying to get you away from the area, but it fits his other approaches to life. You follow, unsure of what you just got wrangled into.
“So, are we too, going to talk about this later, alone, away from other people, Iggy?” Is heard in Gladio’s rough bass before Ravus leads you through the maze of benches and weights to an area designated for warm ups.
—
You get your ass handed to you. He’s just as strict as he is in the lab, searching for perfection in your form but doing so without touching you. It’s fair for him not to, you absolutely do not need another fiery moment in a public area.
He joins in occasionally showing you movements and finishing his own routine. The most unexpected thing was him setting up a time to do the same thing the next morning.
“I had wanted you to engage in this manner previously but I did not want to overstep. I admit, I am pleased,” Oh. Even through the sweat and sort of hating him for making you push yourself you feel a burst of pride from that commentary. “This is all about consistency. If you do not do this regularly, you will atrophy. This helps the mind as much as it does the body. We start at 5:30 every morning with the weekends kept for rest. If you’re serious about your new habit, I will now expect you to do the same,” You try so hard not to wince as you look at him with pleading eyes, but he does not soften. “Is this not what you want?”
No, it wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to see Prompto’s new beau and now you’re signed up for self-defense lessons and a workout routine with a bunch of men you just dreamed about fucking. And Gladio.
“Just, why so early?” You try so hard not to whine, tacking on a strained smile for good measure.
“It’s the best time to avoid crowds and helps to encourage restful sleep. Why? Do you have something better to do?” Yes. Yes you do, and that’s hugging your pillow while you slept. Fuck. You can’t turn this man down.
“Alright. I’ll be there. Tomorrow. At 5:30 AM.” Your brows furrow into a little bit of concern causing him to study you like you’re data.
“I’m not forcing you. You can say no if you wish. Just, I must advise you to not be around here at 7,” That time was fast encroaching, and you were uncertain as to why he would give that suggestion. The confusion on your face must have been out in full form, because his face shifted to hatred just over your shoulder before giving you your answer. He gestures behind you with his chin and you see something you wish you could unsee.
Shamelessly, there is Dr. Ardyn Izunia walking out of a locker room, nowhere near the swimming pool, without a cover up on. Full on Speedo ready with a towel draped over his shoulders. And he’s still wearing that stupid fucking fedora.
You look back to Ravus with a plea for mercy and he grits his teeth. “I can’t yet do anything to make him disappear for good. But knowing his routine, he can at least be avoided,” his eyes continue to darken as his gaze does not break from the walking nightmare. You don’t blame him, but the way his posture has squared up makes him look like he’s ready to go for a jugular. You can’t help but turn to check out the situation one more time.
Izunia is having a stare off with another familiar face and she looks stressed. It’s Zoomba, the whale dick rider. Dr. Izunia has the audacity to tip his fucking hat at her and Zoomba shuffles away quickly towards the ladies changing room after a long moment of pause between them.
Something’s fucky there. You turn to look back at Ravus and see his white knuckles and stoic face turned furious. It had the twisted effect of making you feel both safe and nervous.
You’re startled out of your reflection by Prompto. He puts both of his arms on your shoulders making you lean forward slightly. “I’m dying. They go so much harder than I do. And now, somehow, I’m joining them every morning at 5:30. Why did I agree to do that?”
You put both your hands over his as you lean slightly backwards laughing the strangeness off.
“Because you know you should,” Ravus replies, he seems to have softened away from his previous mood as he looks at the two of you, melting onto one another and exhausted.
“I think that is quite enough for today,” comes the gentle lilt of your bespectacled professor and the remaining troupe coming from behind. Prompto just looks winded, but Noctis. Noctis looks like he’s dying. It makes you want to laugh out loud but you hold it in.
You nod to Ignis, giving him a broad smile while agreeing. A part of you wanted to kidnap him off to the side to chat, while the other part of you can’t stop thinking about that train-wreck of a date you witnessed. You really hoped he was taking better care of his needs.
Instead of starting any further conversation, you really just needed to change. You all head to the lockers to change out of your newly-disgusting clothes.
“He looks like a climbable wall,” Prompto whispers to you before you part ways and you can’t help but laugh. They really all do.
—
You were already starting to feel sore and a hot shower seemed like a great idea. But at a public gym? Why did that feel so… Unhygenic to you? Ridiculous. You’ll just shower under the incredible water pressure at home, it was better there anyway. Probably. You peel away the workout clothing and already recognize that you’re going to have to wash them immediately. Though, there was an instant relief of the wedgie you’ve wanted to pull for the last 46 minutes finally liberating itself. How exhausting. Why they all wanted to hit the gym early in the day was a mystery to you, even if you did get to witness a feast. Couldn’t the evenings work just as well?
As you’re shuffling around you recognize you’re not alone in the locker room. Sliding your pants up your legs you hone in on the voice a little harder because you recognize it. It’s Zoomba, and it’s coming from just around the corner.
“I hate that I have to see that fucker, like every day I work here,” She’s slamming a locker shut as if to emphasize her disgust. “Does he have to wear a speedo? Gods, it’s like an attack on all my senses,” The instructor sounds like she was basically pulling her hair out as she made her very private, but very loud phone call. “I know I took the hush money and signed that stupid contract, but him coming here every. Fucking. Day. It has been awful. I hate it. I hate seeing him so much,” Oh no. She’s begun crying, “I just wanted it to go away. There was no way I could hire a lawyer to go up against them ,”
Speedo. She’s talking about Ardyn. Ardyn fucking Izunia has a woman crying in a gym bathroom that she works at. Of fucking course he made that happen.
Like a freight train moving at full speed, your brain opens up a repressed conversation. ‘You know, you almost remind me of someone I once knew, when you tilt your head down like that,’ and you take the risk of peeking around the lockers to look at her.
It was startling how much it felt like you were looking at yourself. You feel like you’ve been given a puzzle piece, but you’re not quite sure how it fits yet.
As quietly as you can, you leave the locker room to give her back her privacy.
“I just can’t do this anymore, Arenea!” She finally manages to get out as the door quietly swings shut.
Wait. Fucking Who?
—
I am the embodiment of ruined. My body has mutated into a monster revealing what I truly am. Dripping in ichor, my whole form is stained and malformed. The blight obfuscates my vision and all I see ahead of me is a white light.
I am the true form of the Daemon I made myself into.
Despite my attempts to resist, my desire to walk towards the light pulls me forward. I struggle to yield, because I know who gives off that beacon. I resist, because the longer I do, the less she is made to suffer. This is not the first time I have been my purest form— this is a dream often repeated and it always remains the same.
As I descend from the higher peak into the valley below, the light diffuses and I am allowed to see the realm around me in focus. In my periphery I see the edge of the lake and fight back harder, but my limbs do what they want. I know that what little control I have over my actions has been removed from me.
I see Luna, beckoning me into the water. I want to scream for her to run. For the first time, my grotesque figure hesitates and I am able to look down and break the visual contact. I look down to my feet and see the ichor pooling like a black tar. It is inescapable and I am the source. It had made it difficult to move forward. I look up and my heart shatters as I can so clearly see her face.
I do not want to hurt her again.
Her hand makes another gentle motion, and I move forward, tied to her will. I begin to enter the pure water. I shouldn’t be able to feel the cold, but I always do. The sensation rises up slowly from my ankles, to my knees until I am submerged up to my waist. The water makes attempts to cleanse my form but the ichor comes away from me in an inking black.
I kneel in front of my sister, and she gently touches my face. Her hand comes away unclean and slowly she begins to show the damage she receives by association. That does not stop her warm smile. The black ooze prevents me from weeping. I am made to suffer in silence.
She lifts the water in her hands, cupped together to form a small well. It is the last of the purified water, held tight between her fingers. She drips it over my face and the coolness feels like tears as they ride their way down the angles of my face.
It is a wasted effort, and worse, the effort to cleanse my sins goes punished. She continues to try, plunging her hands into the now tainted water. As she does, the water transitions from pure and clear to an opaque and viscous fluid. I move my hands to stop her but when I make the attempt I am met with resistance from the tar. Everything I have come into contact with is blighted. I ruin everything I touch.
With greater effort I attempt to make her stop. I hold onto her arms and yield her actions. The water has lost all of its quality and she too will be lost forever if she continues. But she doesn’t yield, intent in her attempts to free me from my physical prison. My own touch spreads like a disease and the ichor marrs her skin with dark veins, premiating below her skin. Now, her pores are weeping the substance too. Her smile distorts and she looks afraid. I want to fix it. I don’t know how, so I mirror her cleansing.
The consequence is the loss of her. She suffocates under the unintentional wrath of my affection.
Neither alive nor dead, she is trapped in a transient state. I know she is conscious from the murmurs that bubble from her lips and I am made to watch over her corrupted form until I awake to the morning light.
-
Countless times I have awoken in mourning for Luna, all while being forced to watch her suffering. Nyx claimed that she had awoken, but this dream warns me to keep my expectations low.
No matter what, I need to see her. Even if it hurts me, I want to see that she is recovering. I have to know. I need to know.
I order a ticket for tomorrow afternoon to Tenebrae.